Monday, 4 November 2013

Turn up the Heat

If given an inch, they will take a mile. It seems our glorious leaders just cannot resist the temptation to stick it all on expenses regardless of the backlash, so it's time to package their arrogance up in brown paper and send it right back to them.

I'm talking about Members of Parliament sticking their heating bills through on expenses whilst presiding over an energy cartel and levying eco taxes on the rest of us. Not only are you struggling to pay your energy bill, you're struggling to pay theirs as well. Enough is enough.

I'm suggesting you invest a fiver in wrapping up an old jumper and sending it to bloated MP currently sitting in a house heated to the temperature of a vivarium. It's time the likes of Nadhim Zahawi put a jumper on instead of claiming an eye watering £5,822.27 from the taxpayer

Send yours to:

Nadhim Zahawi,
3 Trinity Street, 
Stratford Upon Avon, 
CV37 6BL

If you prefer to send your jumper to an impoverished orange Communist, there's always Peter Hain (£4,571)

Peter Hain
39 Windsor Road, 
SA11 1NB

Happy posting, comrades.

UPDATE: Full spreadsheet of MPs claims HERE

Friday, 25 October 2013

My Digital Hermitage

It's all coming together rather nicely. As you'll know by reading this blog, I'm very much a member of the "leave me alone" pioneer type Libertarian, desperate to get the State and pretty much anyone else off my back, preferring an autonomous, peaceful existence to live my life how I see fit.

I've struggled hard over the years to remove myself from voting lists, taxation, Government systems, surveillance and all of the little nagging demands that an "interconnected modern society" run by Politicians on my behalf has to offer. I reject "permits" and "authorisation" wherever remotely possible (I'm currently trying to become Stateless negating the need for a Passport) and refuse to seek permission from those who would be my masters. My latest project is a down to Earth instruction manual for budding free thinkers and non Statists to learn from the experiences I've been through and find their own way in this complicated world of regulation and intrusion we live in. I intend to show you all how to do it, how to throw off shackles, how to defeat authority and how to reclaim your life and liberty from those who would rather you didn't. Some tricks are simple, some are complicated and all require courage - if you prefer the warm blanket of State security, high taxation and high welfare benefits over "dangerous" freedom, I wish you all the best - on the condition you leave me alone to pursue my happiness unimpeded. 

Firstly, you'll need to decide what your core values are. I didn't find mine until I reached 40 years old, I was too busy making money to care about anything else. The acquisition of "stuff", business "success" and simple egoism drove me. Then it changed - quite simply, what I owned was beginning to own me. So my core values changed because underneath it all, I was actually seeking freedom. Freedom from debt and security for my large family.

My core values are now:

  • Free Speech to say, write and read what I desire
  • Liberty to choose how to live my life, as I see fit
  • Autonomy to do so - free from the meddling theft of Politicians and their endless promises
  • Minimal taxation - to live in a minimal State that respects my need to defend my property
I've fought the system for a decade now, and I'm not winning. I've tested laws to destruction, exposed hypocrisy and fraud, denounced the corrupt and ridiculed pompous authoritarians who decide they know better than you how to run your life. I've become a determined Libertarian and I'm no longer interested in changing anything for others. My only concern is securing my peace and freedom for me as a sovereign  individual.

My only task is now to leave those who are interested a guide book on how to become free - take it or leave it. If you seek what I seek, I'm happy to help. I expect to publish within the next 12 months. 

Me? I'm finally free. I've found what I've been looking for. I can own an AK47 to protect my life, property and liberty. I can build without "permits", grow produce of my own, feed and house myself, pay a minimal 10% tax on my earnings and live without Diversity Coordinators or a license to watch a television. I can speak and publish freely on the fastest internet connection in Europe. My chosen State has no interest in me, my politics or my "wellbeing". I buy what I require from the free market and am free to sell to anyone. I can work remotely, independently and successfully without interference. I am no longer a slave to consumerism, commuting or taxation, I am no longer a number to filed, stamped, regulated and monitored. Now, that's Liberty and I thoroughly recommend it.

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Free Speech 1, Scalliban 0

After 6 months of shuffling bits of paper around a CPS desk, the decision has been made that my "offensive" comments I tweeted back in April to that great bastion of all things Socialist (Liverpool) were not actually offensive enough to see me in court. "There is no case to answer", says the nice man at the Criminal Prosecution Service.

Quite right too. This is a battle that needed to be had and I'm glad that I tested the new Social Media Free Speech guidelines to destruction. I make no disguise of my wish to live in a society where I may speak freely and am comforted that I still have the right to upset a few grief city victim whores who wish to impose their version of the written word upon the rest of us. Tough luck, guys, I won't be silenced.

You have every right to be offended, and in return, I have every right to offend you - officially. So keep your endless screen shots, your faux outrage on behalf of others, your death threats, your endless reporting to the police and your indignation to yourself. If you don't like what I write, don't bother reading it, don't follow me on twitter and don't send my family and work colleagues death threats - just ignore me. And be thankful that now you too have the right to offend whomsoever you choose.

Now, where's the champagne?


Thursday, 3 October 2013

Silence is Golden

Well, it's finally kicking off. After years of Leveson Inquiries and the destruction of any kind of investigative journalism in this country, Miliband has decided to rise to the rather delicious bait laid out by the Daily Mail just one week before "Press Regulation" is discussed in Parliament.

As regulars will know, I'm no friend of the Daily Mail, having been on the receiving end of it recently but I will fight to the death for a free press in this country. If you want to read salacious drivel, as far as I am concerned, no one should have the right to impose that you cannot. Without a free press, we may as well all resign ourselves to being ruled by the famously unelected liar and bully Alistair Campbell, who yesterday set out to destroy Paul Dacre of the Mail in a very public raising of pitchforks. Publishing his home address on twitter was the final straw. I would kindly remind the dry alcoholic nutcase that he is neither elected nor representative of anyone but his own twisted soul, and I refuse to acknowledge any influence he may feel he has over anyone.

The very basis of this public spat is fundamental to what type of country we will end up living in. As Guido Fawkes once said on TV "if you don't want to end up on the front page, don't pay hookers to stick dildos up your arse". He's right. Whether we like it or not, a free press held MPs to account over their expenses, their corruption, their thievery, their bullying and their illegal wars. No wonder the Left are so keen to silence them.

I'm tired of those of the vile Political classes who choose to take offense, and then casually vote to bomb brown children in their thousands with drones. I tired of the professional politicians claiming to be just like you and I. They aren't. They are psychotic power hungry bastards who will stop at nothing in their urge to control every aspect of our lives whilst bloating themselves on stolen wealth. Twitter and social media is currently being used to induce us into their devious little world and what was once quietly spoken about over a scotch or 7 in a Parliament bar is now being shouted across the Internet for all to hear. We are beginning to see the inner workings of the putrid machine that rules us with a rod of iron, sends pitch fork waving twitter mobs to kill the heretics whilst scratching each others backs for mutual advantage.

Freedom of speech is gone, the freedom to privacy is gone and without a shadow of a doubt, the freedom of the press is next. Be very careful what you wish for, Dear Labour Grandees, you might just get it.

UPDATE :War is breaking out. Peter Oborne of the Telegraph has just agreed to publish the smear campaigns of Alistair Campbell. The entire political class is taking lumps out of each other. Fucking delicious.

Monday, 9 September 2013

Old Holborn: a Juvenal for our times

By John Kersey

In 2010, he was flavour of the month as the Daily Mail reported the heroic £8,445.15 he raised from nearly a thousand donors worldwide to free Nick Hogan, the pub landlord jailed for refusing to pay a fine imposed for allowing customers to smoke in his pub.

Today, the same newspaper has run a hatchet job on award-winning libertarian blogger and satirist Old Holborn, unmasking him as Robert Ambridge from Braintree, Essex, and describing him as “one of Britain’s vilest Internet trolls”.

A broad-minded, indeed traditional conservative view of satire, would be that it is a necessary component within a healthy society; that there is always a need to question assumptions, to subject the powerful to scrutiny through satire as well as earnest discourse, to hold a mirror up to society and show us for what we really are.

Savage and offensive comment on those in public life has a long and distinguished history. Roman satire divides into two main schools named after their most distinguished exponents: the Horatian and the Juvenalian. Horatian satire is mild and dedicated to the exposure of folly – the style of most of BBC Radio Four’s satirical material. Juvenalian satire attacks what is perceived as evil through savage ridicule, sarcasm, scorn and invective that is less easily perceptible as pure humour. It is this tradition that was maintained by such as Gillray, whose cartoons spared their subjects few blushes. At times, the Juvenalian tradition has been maintained by various underground magazines, and  by Private Eye, though today that organ seems less inclined to end up in the courts tussling with the likes of Goldsmith and Maxwell than was once the case. Nowadays, Juvenalian satire and the blogosphere have found themselves natural partners.

Today, in contrast to the satire boom of fifty years ago, there is no longer a secure establishment to lampoon. The modern political class is not the Alec Douglas-Home-style aristocracy, entrenched in centuries of tradition and permanence, but a creature of the middle classes with all the uncertainty and herd instinct that this implies. It bends to public opinion, to fashion, to focus groups and spin-doctors because its principal ideology is the gaining and maintaining of short-term power and money, rather than any more nebulous or lofty moral concept of politics. This makes it a difficult target for satirists.

The global shift of politics to the left, and the embrace by neoconservatives of the culture of the left, is a particular problem because most comedians and satirists are themselves of the left. They are forced either into a position of arguing that politicians are not left-wing enough, and espousing instead a form of utopian or populist socialism, or of turning away from politics for their material. Without the distinct characters of yesteryear, satirists are also faced with politicians who have limited recognition among the general public and few personally distinguishing features. There may be enough there to make the odd joke, but there is no longer enough there to fill an act or to be sure of laughter. And there is nothing remotely that would recapture the edginess and the danger that is satire’s lifeblood.

In this atmosphere, there will inevitably be some who will seek out a Juvenalian option. This alternative is to find whatever the modern establishment holds dear that has the reek of humbug and, once that soft underbelly is revealed, to wield the scalpel without fear or favour. This is a significantly bigger game than previously, because now what is being attacked is not merely politicians, but a much wider section of society itself; its mainstream media, its sacred cows, its common values, its morality and hypocrisy – indeed, the way we live now. The target is not simply those who are most prominent in the public eye, but others who, despite their media portrayal, may not perceive themselves in any way as being part of something that can be a legitimate subject for humour.

By nature, this is humour that can – indeed must – give offence. Because of this, the satirist who adopts the Juvenalian approach is ultimately playing with fire. It is this spirit that prompted Jyllands-Posten to publish cartoons criticizing Islam and Muhammed. It is this spirit that inspires Frankie Boyle’s more outrageous (and memorable) moments. And it is the same spirit that prompts Old Holborn. It is humour on a knife-edge, provocation taken to its limits, the tense anticipation of the verbal gladiator who has the plain courage to say to a baying crowd something he finds funny in the full knowledge that he will be lucky to escape unscathed from the aftermath.

In this battle of wits, the sledgehammer response of mere outrage cannot be sufficient, though it is the most frequent recourse for those who cannot match the satirist blow for blow. Most have not understood that they are participants in this particular game in the first place, let alone the rules of engagement. The Mail’s response certainly has nothing about it that inspires such confidence. Lazy clich├ęs about Mr Ambridge’s “gap-toothed” appearance and supposed resemblance to Coronation Street‘s Roy Cropper, his “dilapidated” home and his “battered” Toyota speak of journalistic desperation rather than insight.

It is worth noting that Old Holborn’s stance throughout his vicissitudes has been both consistent and dignified. He has constantly advocated free speech without boundaries. He is entirely happy for others to insult him or return his style of humour in kind. And he is astonishingly persistent.

On Twitter, Old Holborn has recently directed his invective towards the people of Liverpool. In the words of m’learned colleague David Davis, “Whatever it is that’s bad that happens to Liverpool, or its people, or the fans and supporters of LFC, it’s NOT their fault, OK, geddit?” The victimhood of Liverpool has attracted further comment here in the past. It seems that Old Holborn passed a few comments on Liverpudlian sensibilities one day and found that the reaction exceeded all expectations. Had those who read his Twitter account simply ignored or dismissed his comments, doubtless he would have moved on. But expressions of outrage, particularly when they are the bogus manifestations of the politically correct, are exactly the fuel that Juvenalian satire needs. They indicate that the target believes that they are entitled to special treatment; that they are above being ridiculed, and that they feel justified in silencing anyone who would disrupt that cosy arrangement. They are, in other words, the plainest sign imaginable that the satirist has hit home; that, as so often with humour, what is funny is funny because it reveals the truth.

As of last month, Old Holborn was on his 29th Twitter account; not only this, but he had spoken with the head of Twitter UK and the police regarding death and rape threats sent to Old Holborn and his family by online opponents. While the Mail is happy to report that Old Holborn’s opponents have made a complaint to the police about him, they fail to point out the full facts. Old Holborn may have offended many, but he has not threatened anyone. Rather, it is Old Holborn and his family who have been threatened with explicit and sickening violence. Being offensive, shocking or disturbing is permitted within the guidelines issued to the CPS in respect of the Malicious Communications Act.  Sending death threats most certainly is not.

“As an avid twitter commentator and satirist, I am regularly accused of being an abusive troll – mainly based on the fact that someone decides to take offense at something I’ve written and can’t be bothered to argue…

I receive death threats pretty much every day, as does my wife and family, employers, customers, the dog and anyone who knows me. We’ve all watched flame wars break out since the very first Compuserve account was launched – we all know there are idiots out there and we all know that making death threats is already illegal, so why the big fuss?

If we decide that Twitter is only for posting pictures of kittens and for celebrities to flog us more tat, we will have ruined one of the only free speech platforms we are still allowed to use. Yes, it can be ugly, like a loud row in a pub or fantastic as a method to interact socially and spread news and information and already has enough mechanisms built in to block abusive users or those who do not sing from your hymn sheet – anything further is simply a matter for the Police. Twitter is not a human right, free speech is.

Whilst Caitlin Moran struts around deciding what the rest of us can say on a free medium, Governments are itching to slap another level of moderation on what we can and cannot say to each other. Do we really want celebrities, backed up by arse licking Politicians to be the arbiters of free speech? Abusive, offensive, shocking and rude tweets are all perfectly legal. Death threats are not.
Offence isn’t given, it’s taken. Everyone has the right to be offended, but by the same token everyone has the right to offend. After all it is only words on a screen.

Free speech is either free or it isn’t. You can’t say “I believe in free speech but…” It just doesn’t work that way.

If the publicity given to Old Holborn – both today and on Thursday night’s Tonight programme on ITV (he persuaded ITV to send a limousine to collect him for the interview) – gets that message across more clearly, it will be more than welcome. He adds, “On Friday, I think the media will know what trolling actually is as I relax on a Greek beach. See how it works yet?”

Reproduced from the very excellent  Libertarian Alliance Blog

Monday, 2 September 2013

The Rise of the Machines

Like may Libertarians, my only real aim is to live as I choose, free from the interference of others, particularly the all invasive, ever regulating, ever taxing State. Some of us choose to go off grid entirely, growing our own supplies and becoming self sufficient in true Pioneer spirit (something I am actively pursuing) and some of us choose to expose the hypocrisy of a Government Mafia only designed to redistribute any wealth we may acquire to those who would vote for a Politician.

The MakerBot

I blogged way back in 2009 about the remarkable "reprap" open source 3D printer that was capable of making an exact copy of itself and the threat to standard manufacturing that it presented. A machine that could build you stuff, on your desktop instead of engaging a huge value chain leading back to a factory in China with every middle man taking a cut of the profits and inflating the price. I predicted they would go mainstream and today, you can buy a variety of 3D printers in the High Street, although they are only really embraced by geeks and nerds to build World of Warcraft characters, but interest is still growing.

Then I listened to a childhood hero of mine on Radio 4 last week (audioboo here). James Burke. Remember him? He used to present science in a completely non academic way to the public and revisited a few of his predictions for the future. Well, forty years later, he was right.  We have the Internet, transparent(ish) Govt, individual voices and endless information and data at the click of a mouse. It has overthrown Governments and empowered us all - just last week, twitter stopped the country from going to war by enabling all of us to instantly remind our "representatives" that they work for us, not the Party Whip. You are reading this on a mobile device, and can do so anywhere on the planet, at no charge to either of us - that's pretty amazing.

So, what does James Burke predict for the next forty years?

The End of All Government.

"Pardon?" I hear you exclaim. Well, the next logical step for the 3D printer is to stop printing stuff using plastics and start printing stuff using atoms - The Nanofactory. Add some air, a bit of dirt and a bit of carbon and yes, you can create anything you want. Anything. For free. Atoms make molecules and molecules make stuff.

His premise is that Government only really exists to redistribute stuff from one citizen to another who doesn't have any, either by taxation or simply invading another country and grabbing all their stuff. Well, how is that going to work when we don't need anymore stuff, because we can simply make it in our office. A bar of gold - easy. Diamonds - a doddle. An entire car and the petrol to run it forever - "press print".

Boom. There goes capitalism, socialism, communism, Marxism, corporatism - all redundant, overnight. There goes "work" - getting up at 6 am to work 8 hours to make something for someone else in return for payment - who needs it? Who is going to buy anything when the soil in your garden can be transformed into literally, anything your heart desires? No more consumerism, no more consumers, no more oil wars, hell, no more wars, no more property theft. No wars equals no borders, no more rich, no more poor.

If you want to live an autonomous life on a hilltop, there is nothing to stop you. Why the hell do you want to live in a city when you can live on a Caribbean beach? How soon? Well, Burke predicts the next 40 years. Preposterous? Well, just 20 years ago, 12 people on the planet had a mobile phone, now Amazonian tribesmen check the weather on a battered old Nokia, fed by a solar charger. 

If Burke is only 50% accurate in his predictions, our children will be as free as nature intended them to be. Without all the hassle of hunting or gathering themselves to death to pay for Glorious Leaders they no longer need. 

Now that IS human progress. Bring it on.

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Once again, not in my name.

 An outraged John Kerry having dinner with Assad, yesterday

After two years of civil war in Syria, our Parliament has been recalled to debate yet more military action in the Middle East. Our dish faced "man of the people" Prime Minister, desperate to add yet more war to his CV is keen to teach those pesky Arabs a lesson from the comfort of his armchair, ignoring the fact that Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and all the other Middle Eastern hotspots are still burning after being bombed back into the middle ages. Egypt stands on the brink of civil war, Yemen, Bahrain, the Sudan...the list is endless. As if bombing these people back to the middle ages is a known and trusted cure to the worlds ills.

Well, Sir, once again, you do so without my consent. Like Blair before him, his eyes are only the glory and riches of a military victory against a people not important enough to actually care about - he may as well order cruise missile strikes against squabbling Amazonian tribes for all the difference it will make to the region. I've written at the Backbencher that the only cure against Islamism is the same cure we used to rid ourselves of religious fanatics - industrial progress and capitalism - now we have to somehow remove the millennium old vendettas of warring tribes intent on wiping each other off the face of the planet for the sake of a few more acres of goat infested desert rocks.

Assad is a monster tolerated and venerated ( like Saddam, Gaddafi, Iranian Shah et. al before him) by the West and the Soviets in our century long battles of imperialism and colonialism. Where T E Lawrence failed, our Politicians suddenly feel they can succeed in uniting the Arabs in a cosy little democratic union, tugging it's forelock at us whilst we extract the last of their mineral wealth to support our bloated States appetite for ever more riches.

Leave Syria alone. That simple. Yes, people are going to die but they are Syrians. And when the Syrians have had enough pain, they will make their peace with their various tribes, call their truces and resume their lives. We have no idea who are the good guys, if any actually exist there at all or what any victorious tribe is likely to look like - it is simply madness to walk into a bar fight and arm everyone with pick axe handles and hope the nice guys win.

Of course, we cannot resist. A seat at the top table of the UN Security Council is a license to inflict your military machines on anyone of whom you disapprove or cannot make enough money from (how is Bahrain by the way, Hague?) and Cameron wants nothing more than a statue of himself, glorious in victory after defeating a few tent dwellers in the barren desert with laser guided bunker busters dropped from 40,000 feet. Cameron, the only job of our military is to defend OUR borders and OUR private property. It is not their role to wander the planet kicking hornets nests to see if we can install productive bees instead.

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Political Scrapbook - the new Blockleiters

Z list Political blogger (s) Political Scrapbook have taken offense at a tweet by the Head of Amnesty International and demanded his resignation, and he has been forced out of office.

Remarkable stuff. Never mind the fantastic work that Amnesty do, worldwide, every single fucking DAY to help those oppressed for having independent thought - these petty  little Stalinists have decided that freespeech MUST NOT be allowed and have taken offense ON BEHALF OF OTHERS.

This is the reason the Left cannot have nice things - they instantly destroy anything that does not conform to their narrow minded and bigoted views - regardless of the good work done. The professionally offended are out of control.

Saturday, 3 August 2013

RIP Twitter

It's been fun, I'll admit. 

I joined twitter back in 2009 and it rapidly became THE medium for breaking news, information and instant comment. It fueled the Arab Spring, overthrew dictators, spread democracy and liberty, held our masters to account and resulted in entire populations being educated at light speed to the misdeeds of their masters.

Tomorrow, that changes. Some of our Elites have been challenged (yes, and criminally threatened) using 140 characters via a mobile phone and that simply cannot be tolerated - so the network will now be handed over to pictures of kittens, photos of lunch and promoting the various tat that celebrities are desperate to sell us. Gone will be any political comment, seen off by the inclusion of the almighty "I'm Offended" button. As I write this, my 29th twitter account has just been suspended, even though the head of Twitter UK (@TonyW) and I spoke this morning regarding death and rape threats sent to me and my family.

Will I miss it? No, of course not. I will continue to monitor the very same news feeds and obscure sources that I use to inform my readers of what is happening out there, but my political comment will be limited to my blog, my various online columns, Facebook (I'm Olde Holborne) and an excellent new Twitter type feed called, which along with a Tweetdeck clone called Cauldron (and 256 characters) and only a block (not report) button, will ensure that my speech remains free.

Tomorrow is the day when all the Elites have decided to boycott twitter in the hope they will be missed. Frankly speaking, if Caitlin Moran or Suzanne Moore think the man on the Clapham Omnibus has any interest in what they tweet all day (mostly to sell more books) then they are in for a surprise. No one cares. Like MySpace or Compuserve, times have changed and progress marches on. If a free speech medium no longer supports free speech, I see little point in using it - and I'm not alone.

You can read my latest column at Backbencher here, or you can join (it's free) and enjoy my rants. Either way, there is a small blue avian carcass out there that is starting to smell. So long  Twitter, so long "the Righteous" and the professionally offended, so long to the unelected twitter elites who have decided amongst themselves what you and I may read or write.

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Hairshirts for all.

A football club have decided to dictate what their "fans" may or may not say, either inside or outside their premises. We're in the end times now folks....I hope nobody reports @Scouse_ma to Liverpool FC

I'm still laughing. This, combined with the latest diktats regarding twitter, porn, lads mags on shelves etc., should see us all sitting silently in our front rooms for a generation. Full story at the Gruaniad

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Careful what you wish for, Twitter

And it’s all hell let loose on Twitter. Again.

Yesterday’s events on Twitter have finally gone mainstream with Caroline Criado-Perez being bombarded with various threats ranging from rape to death via Twitter, resulting in the proposal by a few of Twitters high profile users (ie. those who earn a living from using twitter) for a boycott of the free service they willingly exploit every day to spread their opinions and climb the greasy pole of journalism. August 4th is set to become a #trolliday where nice people refrain from posting pictures of their lunch or trying to flog their books for 24 hours because they have no way to silence their critics.

For the sake of the terminally stupid, I’m going to try to explain the difference between a “troll” and someone who makes a threat of violence on a social network. As an avid twitter commentator and satirist, I am regularly accused of being an abusive troll – mainly based on the fact that someone decides to take offense at something I’ve written and can’t be bothered to argue. I’m currently on my 27th twitter account because with enough followers, you can simply target a twitter user and summon the twitter mob (your followers) to bombard them “block and spam” reports. The algorithms used by twitter then determine if your account survives – enough reports and out the door you go – silenced by your critics.

I receive death threats pretty much every day, as does my wife and family, employers, customers, the dog and anyone who knows me. We’ve all watched flame wars break out since the very first Compuserve account was launched – we all know there are idiots out there and we all know that making death threats is already illegal, so why the big fuss?

If we decide that Twitter is only for posting pictures of kittens and for celebrities to flog us more tat, we will have ruined one of the only free speech platforms we are still allowed to use. Yes, it can be ugly, like a loud row in a pub or fantastic as a method to interact socially and spread news and information and already has enough mechanisms built in to block abusive users or those who do not sing from your hymn sheet – anything further is simply a matter for the Police. Twitter is not a human right, free speech is.

Whilst Caitlin Moran struts around deciding what the rest of us can say on a free medium, Governments are itching to slap another level of moderation on what we can and cannot say to each other. Do we really want celebrities, backed up by arse licking Politicians to be the arbiters of free speech? Abusive, offensive, shocking and rude tweets are all perfectly legal. Death threats are not.

Careful what you wish for, Twitter users, you might just get it. Nothing would please our masters more than our obedient and compliant silence.

Monday, 8 July 2013

Friday, 5 July 2013

"Close down the Internet, it offends us" demands Liverpool

I simply had to post this. I'm being reported to MPs by Liverpool. Enjoy

 Kris Ulmanski of "the Honourables" (sic)

From twitter user @Protect_JFT96 

@DavidHansonMP @SteveRotheramMP @andyburnhammp @timfarron 

Hello chaps, hope you don't mind us tweeting you given your support for the JFT96 and other campaigns. Apologies in advance for the length of this message.

As you can see from our bio, we are a group of LFC supporters who are non-profit, non-gratitude seeking who work on Twitter to try and protect the reputations of the victims of the Hillsborough, Heysel and Munich disasters together with other related abuse. 

On the 24th Anniversary of the Hillsborough Disaster, there were a series of gross tweets from a specific user @ Old_Holborn which were frankly very disgusting. Copies of some of those can be found at : 

When Old_Holborn did that together with some very nasty tweets about little Jamie Bulger, his real identity exposed by other individuals online as being xxxxxx of Braintree in Essex. We got the blame for that even though it was not our group who initially exposed his identity. We understand that Old Holborn remains the subject of an ongoing Essex Police investigation in conjunction with officers from Merseyside.

We have been subjected to a series of attacks from Old Holborn, however, and his twitter friends ever since, Old Holborn is now on his 22nd different Twitter account since 15th April 2013 and despite repeated suspensions/perma-bans from the social network Twitter just allow him to come back time and time again preaching his hatred of Liverpool, the 96 and indeed more sick references to Jamie Bulger. Even yesterday on the day that Venables was given parole, Old Holborn was still DIRECTLY taunting people with references to Jamie.

Also during that period, some idiotic people issued death threats to Old Holborn and his family. That we cannot agree with nor condone and as such anyone proven to have done so should face the full force of the law. However, we would hope that any potential prosecution of those individuals would take into account it was reactionary. 

We fully understand that Old Holborn (and others) is entitled to an opinion and as such has the right to express an opinion BUT there are some serious problems here that potentially need to be addressed. 

Does direct abuse constitute opinion ? And where do the moral boundaries blur into legal ones. As you are no doubt aware there is a growing problem of suicide especially amongst young people subjected to online abuse. The likes of Old Holborn clearly do not care who they may be targetting and cannot possibly assess the impact their gross comments have on the recipients. Everyone reacts differently.

1) Should a social network be allowing regular abusive users to return to it's network or should it reach a point where so many bans trigger a complete block ? Anyone getting suspended/banned 20+ times clearly has issues.

2) Should Twitter or other social networks be allowed to spread what is no different to hate crime online and for that hatred to go unchecked. Numerous reports have been made about Old Holborn and some of his friends however Twitter are notoriously slow and inefficient to react. In one instance, death threats were issued to one member of our group and when reported to the local police of the perpetrator (Humberside) it was effectively laughed at by Humberside police - so matters have been taken to the recipients local police force(s) who appear much more keen to deal with the issues. The perpetrator is due to appear on assault charges in Crown Court soon, so any death threat by someone like that should be taken seriously. Same person also tweeted gross false sexual allegations about another member of our group, same person engaged in other false gross sexual allegations about a further member of our group. These go WAY beyond banter. It's not a laughing matter to be falsely accused of say beastiality. Especially if that is transmitted on a public social network and could be read by anyone in the world without logging into Twitter first.

3) Given the recent guidelines issued by the Director of Public Prosecutions regarding online communications offences, should the government not be enforcing some of the other parts of UK law and ensuring that ISPs and Social Networks operating in this country do not allow their services to be abused in the manner described above ? If individuals are under investigation by the Police for online communications why are they still allowed access to continue their bile whilst being investigated ? Surely that just creates more of a problem.

4) If the likes of Old Holborn are using Twitter for this sort of purpose - what other uses is it being used for ? Is it being monitored say for terrorist comms ? 

5) Should mental health services be alerted when people persistently act like this online ? It demonstrates a state of mind, an unhealthy state of mind in our opinion. 

6) Old Holborn takes great delight in putting personal information about individuals online too and their families. Surely that is illegal ? 

7) Twitter responses are, frankly, useless most of the time, their systems are far too automated and rely for the vast majority of the time on U.S. based helpdesk systems. Thus there is a time lag on reports. Twitter has offices in the UK - in our opinion it needs UK based support staff 24/7. It also needs to ensure that it is applying local laws to deal with abusive comments not just U.S. ones. Requests to the management of Twitter in the UK via their twitter accounts normally go unanswered. This again is not good enough. 

8) The postcode lottery of police responses to online communications offences is frankly ridiculous. Individual police forces should have clear guidelines as to what does and what does not constitute a breach. At the moment the definitions are far too wide open to individual interpretations. It's either defined clearly or not defined - this is a growing issue.

Would like to make this clear : this is not about restricting people's ability to express opinion but ensuring that with Freedom of Speech comes the responsibility not to offend whole communities by doing so. Twitter is a form of broadcasting - it is no different in those terms to communicating via verbal speech. 

Would the abusive users stand in the middle of Liverpool and say some of the things they say ?? Of course they would not - they'd probably be lynched to be honest but this is where the whole issue of Social Networking, Twitter especially, falls down. 

It has given the radicals a platform, and a dangerous one if used for the wrong purposes. It can breed hatred, hatred for whole communities, beliefs etc based on the words of some very sick individuals. These individuals don't care who they hurt, how they hurt or when they hurt. 

Does any right minded society really want that attitude to propagate unchecked ?

We believe that there is a public interest in the protection of the vulnerable, individuals and their families reputations and indeed the reputations of whole communities. 

We also believe that there is a growing need for Twitter, like Facebook was, to be clamped down on and forced to take privacy, abuse etc much more seriously. 

We would hope therefore that there can be some cross party support for some kind of enforcement of existing UK laws on Twitter and how users use/abuse it together with some kind of mechanism to ensure that where necessary individuals internet access is removed if under investigation for online communication offences. 

Thanks for reading and if you need specific information relating to the above, please do not hesitate to contact us.


You can read the letter the Police sent back to them HERE

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Chris O'Byrne of Walton, Liverpool

As most of you know, Liverpool has been trying to close me down ever since I pointed out that the biggest killers of Liverpudlians are in fact Liverpudlians. Hell, they've sent everything at me. The Police, my family and business have been threatened, my colleagues, they've even reported people who FOLLOW me on twitter to the Police.

I find out today, on the day we discover that Jon Venables is to be released back into Scouse society (where he will blend in perfectly) that one of my attackers, the son of Labour Councillor Ann O'Byrne and sister of Labour Councillor Rachael O'Byrne is happily trawling the internet for pictures of my children, specifically my underage daughters (I have 5 daughters).

Hello @Chris_OByrne

Now as you know, I am immensely proud of my daughters and the thought of a Scouser getting his rocks off over pictures of them disturbs me. Please fell free to let Ann.O' or
rachael.o' that Chris O'Byrne is showing classic Scouse tendencies towards underage children.

Chris O'Byrne of Walton, Liverpool

As most of you know, Liverpool has been trying to close me down ever since I pointed out that the biggest killers of Liverpudlians are in fact Liverpudlians. Hell, they've sent everything at me. The Police, my family and business have been threatened, my colleagues, they've even reported people who FOLLOW me on twitter to the Police.

I find out today, on the day we discover that Jon Venables is to be released back into Scouse society (where he will blend in perfectly) that one of my attackers, the son of Labour Councillor Ann O'Byrne and sister of Labour Councillor Rachael O'Byrne is happily trawling the internet for pictures of my children, specifically my underage daughters (I have 5 daughters).

Hello @Chris_OByrne 

Now as you know, I am immensely proud of my daughters and the thought of a Scouser getting his rocks off over pictures of them disturbs me. Please fell free to let Ann.O' or 
rachael.o' that Chris O'Byrne is showing classic Scouse tendencies towards underage children.

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Freedom of Speech

Finally, our useless CPS are getting to grips with what may or may not be said on Twitter, Facebook and other social media. After hundreds of arrests by our precious boys in blue, because someone has been "offended" by what they chose to read, the basic guidelines are now as follows:

You may be rude, offensive, shocking, disturbing, satirical, iconoclastic and distasteful.

Section 40 States:

  1. Against that background, prosecutors should only proceed with cases under section 1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1988 and section 127 of the Communications Act 2003 where they are satisfied there is sufficient evidence that the communication in question is more than:
    • Offensive, shocking or disturbing; or
    • Satirical, iconoclastic or rude comment; or
    • The expression of unpopular or unfashionable opinion about serious or trivial matters, or banter or humour, even if distasteful to some or painful to those subjected to it.
    If so satisfied, prosecutors should go on to consider whether a prosecution is required in the public interest.

Article 10 of the European Human Rights Act must be upheld:

"Everyone has the right to freedom of expression. This right shall include the freedom to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without interference by public authority and regardless of frontiers ..."

Important stuff. No longer can you go running to the Police if you have chosen to be offended by my jokes about thick Scousers. No longer can you scream "kill the heretic!" if someone expresses different views or opinions than yourself. Those who seek to harass Social Media commentators would do well to take note that the CPS takes a very dim view of threatening or targeting specific individuals. That is, and remains, harassment.

Play nicely now.....

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Troll the NSA

Copy and paste this text into an email and send to a friend. Let's see how good the surveillance software really is.

Hey! How’s it going? I’m all right.

My job is so shitty I wish I could overthrow my boss. It’s like this oppressive regime where only true believers in his management techniques will stay around. I work marathon-length hours and he’s made all these changes that have made it the worst architecture firm to work at in Manhattan. Like he moved the office to the Financial District and fired my assistant. She was the only one who knew where the blueprints were! I need access to those blueprints to complete my job! F my life, right? And he keeps trying to start all these new initiatives to boost revenue, but seriously we just need to stick to what we do best. There’s only one true profit center. I seriously feel ready to go on strike at any second.

I just read this article about how these free radical particles can cause the downfall of good health and accelerate aging. These could actually cause death to millions of Americans. If these particles are flying around undetected everywhere, does that mean we’re all radicalized?

Have you seen the second season of Breaking Bad? I just finished it. I couldn’t believe that episode where they poison the guy with ricin! That was the bomb! I won’t say any more because I don’t want to reveal the earth-shattering events to come.

Oh! So I’ve been planning a big trip for the summer. I’m thinking of visiting all of the most famous suspension bridges in the United States. So probably like the Golden Gate Bridge, The Brooklyn Bridge, and the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. I’m gonna bring my younger brother and I know he’ll want to go to bars, so I’m thinking of getting him a fake drivers license, but I hope that doesn’t blow up in my face.

Okay, I gotta run! I’m late for flight school. I missed the last class where we learn how to land, so I really can’t miss another one. Talk to you later!

Thursday, 30 May 2013

Keep your mouths shut, Comrades

Concentration camp guards demanding their jobs be saved, yesterday

It's been a while since I blogged, but I am forced to take up keyboard once again to voice my anger at current events regarding those who speak unpalatable truths.

I'm not talking about me pointing out to our knuckle dragging Trotskyist friends on Merseyside that the biggest killers of Scousers are in fact Scousers but the ability of social media to turn on anyone, at any time.

Julie Bailey had to watch her mother die whilst the useless, bloated behemoth that employs 1.25 million wastrels in this country tried to cover up the incompetence of the Glorious Socialist NHS. Mid Staffs hospital trust needlessly let 1200 people die and her crime has been to reveal that turnip production is not at records levels. Thousands turned out in Stafford to defend the killing machine - not to defend patient care, or demand higher standards, but to insist that "all is well and tractor production will be on target this year".

She has been hounded from her home, threatened, abused for daring to speak the truth to a collective so obsessed with the conflated idealism of "protect the NHS" that they are unable to see the monster we have created in our midst. Reason and logic vanish as the mob decide that something is better than nothing and attack, en masse, the one person who dared to point out that innocent citizens, their neighbours and friends are being slaughtered by a political creed not intent on treating, helping and curing but enslaving, manipulating and dominating. It doesn't matter what the NHS does as long as the bloated Diversity Coordinators it employs by the thousands can maintain their pensions, cushy jobs for life and Union domination.

The NHS has become a dangerous cult, unaccountable to those it was created to serve. Protected by endless politicians, the very "clients" it serves are in constant denial that the turnip harvest has failed and people are dying. The mob must be assembled to attack the heretic and preserve the order - stand back and watch the vested interests of politicians, lobbyists, suppliers and the damned right stupid take precedence over any level of actual service. God help anyone who dares to question the methods of the Glorious Workers Collective - I'm so grateful we won the cold war. Now, back on your heads, Comrades.

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Scallyban Tactics

I'm now on my 13th reincarnation on twitter, because some people don't like what I say. Well, tough. I'm currently @UberHolborn

If you want, you could ring 07760 138596 or +353 85 138 7939 to complain to them (and get a free pizza)

Here's some of the death threats they sent. (Police are investigating the @Honourables2)

Link 1 

Link 2

Link 3

I'll keep you all informed of any new twitter accounts here. And remember, abusing me is fine. Insult me all you like. Threaten my family, my wife or my kids and I will ensure you never sleep soundly again.

Toodle Pip!

Friday, 19 April 2013

Anyone Can Be Old Holborn

The beauty of being Old Holborn, an anonymous man in a mask is that anyone can be Old Holborn. Tonight I am Old Holborn. I will choose to be Old Holborn any time I wish to do so.

A little under a year and a half ago I was arrested, charged and found guilty of posting an offensive remark on Twitter. I was subsequently acquitted, because I fought and I fought hard. I didn't do it alone of course, I had a lot of help from thousands upon thousands of people on Twitter, a lot of "big guns" on Twitter helped get my case exposure. Without that exposure I believe I'd not have been as successful as I was.

Old Holborn was one of those people who helped get the ball rolling. I've known Holby for quite a while, I've been on his walks, I've caused mischief at marches with him, we've baited and goaded the left, we've burned the EU flag together, annoyed police forces, hell I even helped him campaign when he stood for MP in Cambridge. 

We're by no means close friends, we hardly see each other, but we have very much in common, an intense hatred for the state, a passion for freedom of speech and expression and enjoy a good laugh by causing all sorts of mischief. Do you know what though? I don't agree with everything he says. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

Over the last few days on Twitter, there has been what I call a faux-outrage about something he posted. I'm not entirely sure what it was, I think it had something to do with the Bulger case. I'm sure it was offensive but similarly I also bet it was funny as fuck. From what I understand, but yet to be confirmed is that he's been charged with a hate crime.

There are also whispers it might have been something to do with a group of people who Tweet under the hashtag b who want justice for those who died at Hillsborough. I happened upon one Tweeter who was "offended" who a few days earlier was celebrating and making fun of the death of Maggie. Total mind-fuck if I'm honest. I'm inclined to think that this is the actual reason for any potential arrest:

Unless of course, they happen to be arson threats to burn down Old Holborn's home and business. Quite what makes David Gregory, who owns a "CRB checked" removals company in Southport think he can email violent threats to anyone is beyond me.

Offence isn't given, it's taken. Everyone has the right to be offended, but by the same token everyone has the right to offend. After all it is only words on a screen.

Free speech is either free or it isn't. You can't say "I believe in free speech but..." It just doesn't work that way. 

Let's take a break for a bit of light relief:

Liverpudlians burning an effigy. I hope the drunk ones at the back of the crowd start pushing to get a better view

Hello #JFT96 and Essex Police, nice to meet you, the name's John Kerlen and I AM OLD HOLBORN, you benefit scrounging, motherfuckers.

As soon as I get more information I'll be arranging a little "get together" at Essex Police Headquarters. Watch this space.

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

The Unaccountable - Bexley Style

It's been a while since I've given my two pennies worth here, and I'm going to take advantage of our esteemed host's hospitality in order to give wider coverage to a story I think regular readers of this blog may be interested in, especially if you're of the opinion that the police service in this country is rotten to the core. Police corruption, dishonesty and plain incompetence has now become the rule and not the exception, you only have to look at the recent stories concerning, "plebgate" and Hillsborough to see there is something intrinsically wrong with those who are tasked with policing this country.

The building you see in the picture above is home to Bexleyheath Metropolitan Police Service. I have had the honour of having been arrested twice in said building and I have also spent more time than I care to admit in their cells. The reason I mention this is because I have first hand experienced incompetence, dishonesty and outright unaccountability at the hands of Bexleyheath Metropolitan Police Service, for it is they who are the subject of this blog post.

I am not going to bore you with every single detail of the story, if you want the complete story, feel free to pop over to Bexley Is Bonkers and read all about it. It's an ongoing saga that is yet to be completed. What I am going to do is give what I feel are the initial facts of the case and let you read further if you so wish.

When a judge rules that almost all the evidence that is presented to him is fabricated, and that everything the police have done is aimed at getting the culprit "off the hook" because of his close links with the local police, you really do have to start wondering whether we can actually trust the local police service. Yet this is what the judge said, and judging from the details of the case so far I am inclined to believe him.

Here are a few facts to whet your appetite.

  • A school child is assaulted at school in Bexley, his eye socket fractured and he is left with a permanent visual disability.
  • This is all recorded on CCTV which the headmaster confirms.
  • The suspect is arrested.
  • The arresting officer fails to see the assault in said CCTV footage and notes that the main assault not captured on CCTV and that the suspect and victim can be seen falling to the ground at the start of the fight.
  • 23 days later a PC is tasked with reviewing the footage.
  • 4 days after that it is noted that the PC had still not reviewed the CCTV.
  • A further 6 days later it is noted that enquiries are still continuing.
  • Another 8 more days pass and the footage is eventually reviewed where it is noted that the CCTV does not capture the incident.
  • 46 days after the initial assault the evidence sans CCTV is submitted to prosecutor.
  • Prosecutor notes "I am reliably informed that it merely shows a group of persons at the end of a playground and they cannot be identified".
  • Prosecutor advises "No further action" and the case is dropped.

It is a long convoluted story, so far we've discovered that the police falsified evidence, admitted that they were exempt from keeping accurate details, refused to correct their false details and attempted to pressure the judge into re-opening the case because it damaged their integrity.

When you read further you will see that incompetence, dishonesty and corruption are rife within Bexleyheath Police Service. The judge may well have ruled that all the evidence was fabricated, but do you know what? Every one of those police officers still has a job.

A quick reminder to read the whole story at Bexley is Bonkers.

Why not follow Bexley Metropolitan Police Service on Twitter and tell them what you think? @MPSBexley

The mind fucking boggles considering they're paid by us.

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