Well, that was fun. For those who were otherwise engaged on Saturday November 5th, you missed a great day of fun, drinking and political mischief.
Alas, as no debate was held in the Commons, the price of admission to our Parliament was 15 quid a head, cash up front, guv. So we went to the Westminster Arms instead (traditional) followed by a trip up to St Pauls to show my followers what a real protest doesn't look like.
So many vested interests, all jostling for the mic, a chance to remind the massed throng that their cause was the real reason for the protest and everyone should pay attention to them and save a whale or show solidarity with a tribe of goat herders in Kurdistan. And the bogs in Starbucks were bust - can't think why.
Oh wait, #OccupyLSX were going to march on Westminster to demand...er...no idea and out came the Socialist Workers banners screaming all sorts of nonsense. Quick, grab one, Jocasta, this is REALLY happening.
Now as it happens, a couple of the 99% - US, had also bought along a banner stating that taxes are slavery and we really ought to cut the deficit a bit deeper if we are ever going to get a smaller State and less intrusive Government. Our voices count, right? Freedom of speech, right?
So we led the march. And I do mean march. No public sector dawdling when OH is at the front. St Pauls to Trafalgar Square in half an hour, keep up at the back. Now one of the advantages of being at the front of the march is that your banner becomes the head of the snake, the message, if you like, and soon it became apparent to our fellow protesters that our message might not be entirely aligned with their message. First came the hysterical fat arsed black woman (on loan from Tower Hamlets Council, no doubt) , denouncing us at 110 db as "EDL Infiltrators". When that failed to motivate the mob to hang us from lamp posts, our banner was ripped down by outraged crusties - furious that we were not advocating "free speech and a new democracy where every voice is heard".
One of the major problems of a strictly vegan sustainable eco diet is that you do not have the strength to retain whatever banner you may have just ripped out of the hands of your fellow protesters, especially when the one who wants it back is me, six foot two, masked and built like a brick shit house.
We abandoned the March at Traflagar Square for the pub (again), leaving a few hundred out of breath and wheezing protesters to make their way to Westminster where 30 of them sat down (knackered no doubt) until they were told they would be arrested and then ran away. Bravo, comrades.
Many thanks to those who joined me. Let's do it again sometime.