We are sorry.
The Labour Party was in the business of holding citizens in a vice like Soviet grip, watching their every move, recording every phone call, reading every Email, taxing you all to death and stealing your wealth. It failed when it came to itself.
We are sorry for the serious wrongdoing that occurred.
We are deeply sorry for the hurt suffered by the individuals affected.
We regret not acting faster to sort things out.
I realise that simply apologising is not enough.
Our business was founded on the idea that a free and open press should be abolished and no one should ever doubt the word of the Fabian BBC or the Grauniad. We need to live up to this. We tried by doing whatever powerful media barons told us to do as long as their media supported us and our quest for total and complete power over the individual citizen
In the coming days, as we take further concrete steps to resolve these issues and make amends for the damage they have caused, you will hear more from us. But there is absolutely NO FUCKING WAY we are paying back the money we handed over to our other friends, the bankers. Your kids can pay that back, suckers.