Saturday, 8 January 2011

Netroots UK

The "Fabian window". Smashing up the real world to replace with the false.

I've been having a WHALE of a time today watching the latest attempts of the left to "dominate" the political websphere via Netroots

A little background. The right wing and Libertarians have pretty much dominated on the web for the last five years. the Left has now decided that it needs a piece of the action and in classic collectivist style has decided to have a "conference" and "workshops" at the TUC Congress Hall today. I was tempted to attend, just out of morbid curiosity but the wonder of Twitter allowed me to listen and (cough) contribute in real time.

One thing that the left have simply forgotten is why the right and Libertarians managed to conquer the blogosphere in the first place. I've given advice on those who wished to start a blog many times in my three years here and it hasn't changed one iota. Be funny. Be controversial. Be yourself. People LIKE humour, gossip and scandal. People like to see things they would never see in the real world or in newspapers.

Instead, here are a selection of what they managed today

@felix_cohen: We need a new word for 'organisation' #netrootsuk

Just finished #netrootsuk panel on engaging in hyper #localpolitics- great discussion & a few good contacts.

Main lesson from #netrootsuk workshop: build offline relationships first, online relationships will follow. #digitalactivism

Interesting chat about online social movements collectively defining parameters + values through ongoing action + group reflection

RT @JoshFeldberg: This final session has really clarified my thinking for my digital strategy #NetRootsUK

"Hyperlocal activism workshop is proper digital anthropology gold mine"
Tom Watson started the proceedings badly by referring to those attending as "Comrades" in his speech effectively setting the scene for the Left to decide they were running the agenda. Lee Jasper piped up with complaints that no black groups were invited. Women only workshops whinged about equality, whilst the disabled squabbled over how to make their voices heard more loudly. Soon the agenda (how to make an impact in digital media, remember?) was taken over with anti cuts ranting as eager "students" sat on the floor to listen to people spout buttock clenching bollocks. the wonks soaked it up, scared shitless that not being able to use the Internets would end their careers as sucking off shop stewards or reading the Guardian no longer seems to work.

I can rest easy in my bed knowing that the Left will no more make constructive use of the power of twitter and the blogosphere than they made use of anything else. They are still dominated by committees, the collective and consensus. The left has no mavericks, no outspoken humorous pundits. The Left is so afraid of offending a person who may take offence on behalf of a person who isn't offended that their entire digital offering is no better than a Student Union flyer off the photocopier (after being approved by the sub editor steering committee)

I won the buzzword bullshit bingo within ten minutes with the word "#nestlechildkillers" (used when the TUC handed out lunch bags containing an organic free trade turnip and to uproar in the hall, a Kit Kat.)

When Labour work out that a) their voters don't use the web for anything other than checking the lottery results and looking at porn and b) people like to be amused, then let me know. As I said, no chance. A circle jerk of fabian geeks, absorbed by iPhones and Obama (who won because American white democrats are savvy Macbook using Liberals. Labour voters still eat with their fucking hands and think electricity is black magic).

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