Wednesday, 31 March 2010

This Stinks- Smellie Cleared

Its officially OK to batter women with your truncheon

Out of Control and unaccountable

OH Update: We are no longer protected by the Police. Indeed, we need to protect ourselves from our Police. We have become East Germany. Indeed, the press were told to "clear off" for half an hour so the Police could do their work "unhindered"

Election Budget Appeal

Right, you lot. In my attempt to be completely transparent on expenses etc in the run up to my glorious election (and subsequent storming of the Gates of Parliament. At last. Oh yes), I'm going to let you all know what I intend to spend and how much is in the kitty

So far, the donation button on the right has produced a magnificent total of £2035

This is how I will spend it:

Nomination: £500
Office space for six weeks: £400 (let me know if you can offer me a desk and Wifi any cheaper)
1,000 A3 posters to scare the children: £130
100 V for Vendetta Masks: £500
25,000 A4 flyers: £750

(again, if anyone can do it cheaper, let me know)

Total : £2280

What I want to do as well:

Billboard advert with OH chasing some fat pigs dressed in pinstripe suits for two weeks (audience 27K per day) £1000
Banners, flags, fireworks, T-Shirts and general tomfoolery £500

So I need to raise another £1500 at least to put this campaign on the map. Plus volunteers who don't mind being dressed up in a suit, in a cage, and having rotten fruit thrown at them by the public of Cambridge on a Saturday.

Dig deep, fellow seditionaries and let's see if we can wipe the smug grins off the politicians faces for a change. Just £1 donated will result in a LibDem feeling unwell or a Socialist having to get a proper job and a shave. Every penny counts.

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Quote of the Day, part 94

It may be necessary to put democracy on hold for a while.

Yup. The man who invented the word "Gaia" thinks us humans are too stupid to do anything about climate change. Guess what? He's right. The climate has been changing for 4 billion years and will continue to change for the next 4 billion years and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.

I also heard him on R4 this morning screaming that 7-10 million will die in the UK alone from "climate change" (at which point the radio went out the window. Again)

On the plus side, he's 90. Can't be long now.

Who are you?

Thanks to Ollie at RedRag

+++Brown removed by security+++

Those lovely funsters over at Glasnost UK put up a Gordon Brown and a speech bubble opposite Parliament.

Some wise security people removed it after 30 minutes

Children of North Korea

Children Of The Revolution


You will have noticed that the original video is no longer available. I have also just survived an attempt by blogger/Google to delete this blog, as it had been reported as "spam". No doubt winston Smith will be informing us that chocolate rations are up tomorrow.

Monday, 29 March 2010

Cambridge Labour Candidate prepares for Office

Daniel Zeichner, Cambridge PPC for ZaNuLabour, doing what socialists (national and otherwise) always end up doing


Fun in Cambridge

This looks like fun. If Tory Bear takes it up, I will need eye bleach

The Clash Of The Midgets- Accountancy At Dawn

The much trailed clash of the Midgets is about to happen


I cannot be othered to watch this as they pontificate how much of our money they are going to waste in the next five years.

Not one of them is going to advocate Tax refunds, reducing the State to a glimmer of its bloated self.

It is in my eyes it is like a meeting of Mafia Dons planning another robbery, but cannot make their mind up what weapons to use.

Labour's got a tax for that

The Government's share of what we earn has nearly doubled in value since Labour came to power.

Despite long-forgotten promises not to raise income tax, the Government's share of what we earn has nearly doubled in value since Labour came to power, according to HM Revenue & Customs' statistics.

These show that HMRC took £69bn out of salaries and pay packets in 1997, but expects to raise £134bn in 2010. National Insurance contributions (NICs) a tax on income by another name took less than £47bn out of pay 13 years ago, but will exceed £98bn in 2010, according to calculations by accountants Grant Thornton. Other taxes such as stamp duty, council tax and capital gains tax (CGT) have risen by even more.

The Chancellor, Alistair Darling, points out that income tax revenues were boosted by rising employment and may have more to say along similar lines in his pre-election Budget next Wednesday. Here and now, accountants are advising clients to count their spoons and take advantage of tax shelters while they are still available.

Chas Roy-Chowdhury, head of tax at the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants (ACCA), said: "The Budget will be all about jam today and pain tomorrow.

"There are several tax rises in the pipeline, but I do not expect to see any significant rises being announced pre-election. I would be surprised if the Chancellor brought the 50pc rate of income tax in to affect incomes of £100,000 this side of an election. But after the election, if the current party in power is returned to office, then I think it is a runner."

Last year, the Chancellor announced the new 50pc rate would apply to people earning more than £150,000 a year. Richard Mannion, of accountants Smith & Williamson, said: "Whichever party wins the election it looks as though further tax rises will be on the cards in the foreseeable future.

"An increase in VAT to 20pc is most likely because that will produce a large sum of money quickly and that rate would still be in line with the other European countries.

"The CGT flat rate of 18pc looks out of kilter compared to income tax rates and so is likely to increase, but CGT does not produce much tax and an increase won't do much to fill the economic bucket."

Mike Warburton, of accountants Grant Thornton, said: "Even after recent falls in revenue, the taxman now takes almost twice as much as in 1997. Stamp duty, CGT and council tax have more than doubled.

"It is surprising that duties have not done so but don't be fooled. The motorist is paying heavily. It is duty on alcohol, tobacco and betting that have fallen behind inflation arguably because this is what matters to many core Labour voters.

"Despite all this, there are sensible tax-saving measures that can be taken. Pension funds still offer the most attractive way of saving tax-efficiently. Individual savings accounts [Isas] are a pale shadow of the personal equity plans [Peps] and tax-exempt special savings accounts [Tessas] that they replaced, but are still tax-efficient.

"Venture capital trusts [VCTs] and the Enterprise Investment Scheme [EIS] have had a mixed performance, but can still make a good tax-efficient part of a portfolio and investments in a business or farm can still attract useful inheritance tax [IHT] relief.

"The next few years are going to be tough, but we may as well protect ourselves as well as we can from the harsh reach of the taxman."

Angela Beech, head of personal tax at accountants Blick Rothenberg, said: "Although there have been some leaks of no further tax rises by the Chancellor next week, the 50pc rate of income tax will be with us within a month and there must be a realistic prospect of swingeing cuts in services if he is to make any inroads into the country's serious debt."

But George Bull, of accountants Baker Tilly, said: "The Chancellor is probably secretly hoping that taxpayers facing the 50pc top rate next year will take action to safeguard their position before the Budget, if not before the end of the tax year which, perhaps luckily, falls just 13 days later.

"Even allowing for the fact that the tax becomes payable a year earlier than otherwise, a tax saving of 10pc or more is worth having. Why would he want people to avoid tax in this way? In a word, cash flow.

People facing the prospect of the new additional rate who can bring forward income into 2009-10 will save themselves 10pc on non-dividend income, but that saving increases to 11.11pc on dividends because the effective rate of tax on a 50pc taxpayer's dividend will be 36.11pc."

Accountants Smith & Williamson have measured the impact of all kinds of taxes on families at the request of The Daily Telegraph . They considered the effects of changes in taxation on a family with two fairly average incomes and on another family with two earners and one higher income.

The calculations are set out in detail below. The 1997 figures have been lifted in line with the Retail Prices Index (RPI) to remove inflation from the comparison.

The survey shows that for the family on average earnings the percentage of income paid in all forms of tax has increased from 32pc to 34pc an increase of 6.25pc since 1997. However, for a taxpayer in receipt of tax credits, the net increase in total tax will be rather less.

The family with higher income has seen their total tax payments increase from 33pc to 36pc over the period. Back in 1997 we still had the married couples' allowance and Miras (mortgage interest relief at source), albeit both were capped at modest amounts.

The basic rate of income tax was 23pc compared with today's 20pc, so basic-rate taxpayers look as if they should be better off. However, the higher-rate threshold has not kept pace with the increase in average earnings over the period so far more earners are now paying the higher rate. This is the phenomenon known as fiscal drag.

NICs are the ultimate stealth tax and have risen substantially over the period. In 1997 the top rate of employees' NICs was 10pc on earnings up to £24,180 a year and above that figure nothing was payable. The employer paid a top rate of 10pc with no upper threshold.

Today, the employee must pay 11pc on earnings up to £43,888 a year and then 1pc on all additional earnings. The employer is now charged 12.8pc NICs for each individual's earnings in excess of £5,720 a year.

An increase from 10pc to 11pc for an employee's NICs may not sound much but it amounts to an increase of 10pc. In the case of the employer, the rise is an eye-stretching 28pc. No wonder NICs are sometimes described as a ''tax on jobs''. Worse still, the Chancellor has already said that NICs rates must rise by another percentage point next year.

Mr Mannion, of Smith & Williamson, said: "Many people may not consider local rates as a tax. However, local authorities are generally being asked to do more with less financial support from central government.

"As a result, most of us have found that our council tax has gone up dramatically over the years. In other words, we are seeing an increase in local taxes, which are not compensated by a reduction in central taxes.

"Our case study shows that the council tax for a typical house in Surrey has gone up by 68pc on a like-for-like basis over the period. And there are no easy ways of mitigating this particular tax, apart from moving to a less desirable property."

Bob Rothenberg, senior partner at Blick Rothenberg, said: "The overall trend over the past 13 years has been a heavier tax burden for almost everyone. Not only has the amount of tax paid gone up, but the burden of compliance has increased and the tax legislation and complication has become almost impossible for the 'man on the Clapham omnibus' to either understand or handle.

"It was not that long ago that a standard tax return was four pages or so. Now the number of pages is many times that number and with the online challenge as well, dealing with one's own tax affairs becomes more and more difficult. On top of this the Revenue has become more remote, and with their own pressures on staffing, less able to help taxpayers with their affairs while devoting more effort to inquiries."

David Kilshaw, of accountants KPMG, said: "The next few days could well be hectic as people try to get ahead of whatever changes they suspect could be coming. It's important to remember paperwork is critical often cheques have to be cleared, not just written to be effective for tax purposes.

"This is especially true on CGT. Come April 6, there will be a big gap between the top rate of income tax at 50pc and the CGT rate at 18pc. There are strong arguments to leave the CGT rate as it stands and the Treasury is reported to not be considering a change at this time.

''None the less, quite a lot of people are playing it safe by selling assets ahead of the Budget," he said. MORE than 1.5 million pensioners are overpaying tax on their savings income, accountants Beever and Struthers claim.

The accountants calculate that up to £9bn of tax is being overpaid each year by taxpayers as a whole, but say older people are at greater risk of overpaying. They blame complex forms and a widespread belief that income paid by bank and building society accounts is untaxed, when in most cases it has been taxed before savers receive it.


the Straw Man speaketh

"The Duke of Wellington put up a lot of objections to democracy on the grounds that you get the wrong people elected," he said, "the great unwashed, and sometimes this is true." - Jack Straw


Give us our democracy back, Jack. It doesn't belong to you, it belongs to each and every one of us.

What is the EU for?

I'm trying to wittle down the exact reason the EU exists.

So far, it appears to me that it was created to stop the Germans constantly starting wars, was then hijacked by French farmers and now appears to be in the hands of a few unelected post democratic ex communists for their own very expensive benefit.

Seriously, could someone tell me why the UK spends £45 million a day on being a member?

UPDATE: Guardian nutter alert

there ought to be a family of taxes at a European level that would allow the EU to develop a degree of autonomy ? carbon taxes, for example, or taxes on international speculation (the Tobin tax)."

Sunday, 28 March 2010

Whalehunting in Purnell country

I am a very very bad man.

Please all go and give your condolenses to Vivky Leigh Heywood, who is "very sad" that her boss, James Purnell, is off to pastures greener. Her blog is called something or other, but can be found here

Just like Old Holborn, her site has no moderation

++Lord of the Pies++

“Now is the time to rid ourselves of the remaining rump of hereditaries in the Lords. They are an offence against democracy.” - John Prescott, 2004

“We’ll just have to take each day at a time, and see how it goes,” said Mrs Prescott, 2010

Prescott to join the Lords

It's the bloggers wot won it

Hostile Reconnaissance

You know I keep banging on that we have become East Germany?

Here's a guide on how to deal with the Police from Spyblog

Spy Blog Hints and Tips for attending this sort of anti-surveillance state public event:
  1. Tell all your friends and family about the meeting, eben if they are not interested in attending themselves, at least have someone worry about you if you are late home from such a meeting.
  2. Although there will obviously be journalists at this particular event, tell any other journalists or broadcast media contacts you have about it - these issues affect them and their readers / audiences, it not not just a a London thing.
  3. Switch off your mobile phone(s) when you are within, a couple of blocks, or Tube or train or Bus stops from Euston. Even if you do not make or receive a voice call or send or receive an SMS text message or use your mobile phone internet connection, then your phone will register its Location every 10 minutes or so with the nearby mobile phone Cell tower base stations, simply to be ready for any such normal mobile telephony uses.

    This will generate Communications Traffic data including Location Based Services data, which will be trawled through, en masse, by various police and intelligence units with an interest in trying to identify and track some or all of the attendees of this meeting.

  4. Take note and photographs if possible, of anybody seeming to record or photograph vehicle number plates of nearby parked cars or the people entering or leaving the meeting rooms / building etc.
  5. If you are "stopped and searched" under the Terrorism Act 2000 section 44, you do not have to give your name and address (although this can be demanded if you are actually arrested under the vast swathe of other legislation ).
  6. Remember that Police Community Support officers have no powers under the the Terrorism Act 2000 section 44, unless they are being physically supervised by a real , sworn, Police Constable in Uniform (plain clothes or undercover police also have no section 44 powers)
  7. Neither Police Constables nor PCSOs can demand that you delete any photographs or video you have taken on your camera or mobile phone (that is potentially "destruction of evidence") .
  8. This is a peaceful meeting, but just in case you are arrested, or stopped and searched etc. do have the contact details of a firm of solicitors who deal with criminal law and human rights etc. Say nothing until you have access to proper, independent legal advice.
  9. Do not rely on keeping these solicitors details in your mobile phone - that is one of the first things that will be taken away from you by the police - memorise them and / or keep them on paper as well.
  10. Set a security PIN code on your Mobile Phone. This will not prevent the police from examining it forensically if you are actually arrested, but it may be enough to prevent casual, illegal, snooping by Police Constables or by ill trained Police Community Support Officers.
  11. Delete all your stored SMS text messages (sent, received and draft). These can be forensically recovered or reconstructed from central records, but again, there is no need to give anything private away to nosey snoopers who might have your phone in their possession.
  12. Ideally, do not take your normal mobile phone to such a meeting - use a cheap / disposable, prepaid, unregistered mobile phone, with little or no Friendship Tree history or stored contacts or SMS messages.
  13. Since this meeting will be in the run up to the General and Local elections, do please make very clear your views on the creepy Labour Surveillance State and its counterproductive effect on innocent people, to any politicians who might be trawling for votes at or near the meeting.
  14. If you are going to publish any photos or articles or emails or blog entries or tweets or other reports about this meeting, especially if you are inspired to participate in or plan some sort of peaceful action against the Labour Government or Whitehall, or other tentacles of the surveillance state, then please bear in mind our - Hints and Tips for Whistleblowers etc. - Technical Hints and Tips for protecting the anonymity of sources for Whistleblowers, Investigative Journalists, Campaign Activists and Political Bloggers etc.

The indoctrination of your children


I know a few things about kids. I've got six. As we sit at our dinner table (yes, we are one of the few families who still own one) and table manners are corrected, days reviewed, opinions offered and sought, collective plans made for the summer, problems discussed and addressed, I can spot exactly where the evil little tentacles of Political Officers in schools have been rummaging.

A quick look at an exam paper will tell you that your children are not being taught to process information accurately, not to evaluate, not to question. they are being taught not to think. And then pass exams in not thinking.

The dumbing down of our children is an old Political trick. Under the 13 years of the current Politburo, we have seen a massive increase in the Politicization of our children. Their behaviour is monitored and recorded for "future crimes", the punishments for thinking as an individual are

From 2011, lessons in "gender equality" will become compulsory. Lessons about photosynthesis and the conservation of mass have been replaced with content to promote healthy eating and regular exercise.

We need to reclaim our children's education from the worst possible educator. The State. Fast. It does not have their best interests at heart. At all.

We have become East Germany

PS just for fun, here is GCSE Biology question.

Slavery abolished by Labour.

A Government spokesman demonstrating how to make Government policy appear logical.

Picture hallucinated from the film 'Airplane'.

Pub landlord Nick Hogan was prosecuted, fined more than the average baby-thumper and then sent to jail for far longer than a Labour peer who flattened someone with his car. For what exactly? Because he refused to act as an unpaid enforcement officer for a law he disagreed with. Note that he was not prosecuted for smoking - he was prosecuted for not stopping other people smoking.

Why would any landlord not want to be part of the Righteous Brigade? Well, for one thing, because being one of the Righteous' unpaid and unwilling enforcers is dangerous. You want to stop a drunk smoking? He is not going to think 'Oh, it's those blasted Righteous behind it all'. He is going to turn on you. Sometimes violently.

If you don't act as an unpaid enforcer, the Righteous turn on you. Either way, you're the one who gets crapped on.

But wait, what's this?

Fresh from the unwiped bottom of MiniJust comes another dry clinker of wisdom. The same people who demand that all owners of private premises act as unpaid police and put themselves at risk so the Righteous don't have to, have come up with a new law to stop people forcing other people to do work they don't want to do... no, don't try to make sense of it, it will make your head hurt.

The new offence of holding another person in slavery or servitude, or requiring another person to perform forced or compulsory labour, is set out in the Coroners and Justice Act 2009. Those found guilty face a maximum penalty of 14 years in prison.

So, when the police charge you with 'allowing others to smoke', you can now immediately countercharge with 'requiring another person to perform forced labour' because that is exactly what they are doing. Act as an unpaid enforcer or face the wrath of the Righteous. Forcing landlords and other business premises operators to work for free as frontline law enforcers, at personal risk, is a direct violation of this new law.

You might get six months. They'll get 14 years.

So, who wants to let the Dreadful Arnott know? We should draw straws for the pleasure.

UPDATE: Devil's Kitchen found their get-out clause. It's another law that applies to us but not to them.

Saturday, 27 March 2010

++MP's expenses to be hidden until after GE+++

Can't think why

From the sublime to the outright ridiculous

He just can't help it, can he?

blah blah blah blah blah


The Prime Mentalist has announced five pledges that his utterly corrupt minority government cabal are going to foist on the 61 million of us forced to live under his dictats.

1. Secure the recovery - By placing a debt of £23,000 on every child born from now on
2. Raising family living standards - see above
3. Building a high tech economy - by handing out laptops to poor people. Brilliant.
4. Protecting frontline services - protecting millions of non jobs created by Labour
5. Strengthen fairness in communities - except for homeowners, law abiding citizens, tax payers, motorists and small businesses.

13 years they've had. I'm not going to start, otherwise I won't stop and I'm busy this weekend.

Just make sure you join me, Ollie Cromwell and Guy TV down at Southwark Crown Court on Tuesday for the trial of the three sockpuppets

I shall be handing out free packets of these

Time Liar Byers Went To Gaol

Some poor woman embellished her CV in order to get gainful employment rather than live off benefits, and is now doing six months in gaol, costing the taxpayer a fucking fortune and doing absolutely fuck all to protect the public.

An ex-cabinet minister and Privy Councillor blatantly lies on the record in order to try and get a new consultancy position at a vast daily rate.

Surely this is exactly the same thing?

Don't hold your breath, though!

The Penguin.

Using your money to tell you lies

We have become East Germany

Friday, 26 March 2010

House of Commons and Old Holborn

What fun

Turkey, the Tories and the EU

Some Turkish people burning the Swiss Flag in Istanbul in protest about some cartoons
Source: Reuters

Do you think Turkey should be admitted to the EU? The Conservative Friends of Turkey do.

So much so in fact, that they are helping

Conservative Friends of Turkey will be helping several PPCs in their campaigns and need a dynamic Campaign Assistant to actively take part in this effort until the elections.

Primarily based in London, the role will involve working closely with the local Conservative associations, PPCs and MPs, handling canvassing and other related tasks.

Job Advert on

Lobby in favour of Turkish membership of the EU with a stress on Turkey’s role in the bloc, the region and its strong ties to Western institutions

Conservative Friends of Turkey

Got Your Rates Bill Yet ?


Relating to the potential loss of £3 million of public funds in the
Icelandic Bank, Landsbanki

Libertarian Party
South West and South Wales Branch


We would like to record with thanks the help and assistance provided by Mr Phil Hall in providing information relating to this particular investment by North Somerset District Council. His timely responses on behalf of North Somerset District Council to queries raised are to be commended as a model of open local government. Other Local Authorities regrettably have been less forthcoming, even considering the greater losses suffered by them.

The Libertarian Party is a registered political party within the meaning of the Electoral Administration Act. 2006

This submission is being made in the name of the Libertarian Party who have as members,taxpayers in North Somerset.


a) That the District Council invested £3 million in an investment scheme in a country that is not a member of the European Union that promised high returns that has subsequently failed.

b) The funds were invested on May 27th 2008 despite warnings having been made going back as far as August 2006 as to the dependence of Icelandic Banks on the ‘ carry trade’ defined as.

A trade where you borrow and pay interest in order to buy something else that has higher interest. For example, with a positively sloped term structure (short rates lower than long rates), one might borrow at low short term rates and finance the purchase of long-term bonds. The carry return is the coupon on the bonds minus the interest costs of the short-term borrowing. Of course, if long-term interest rates unexpectedly rose(and long-term bond prices fell as a result), the carry trade could become unprofitable. Indeed, if this occured, there could be a number of investors trying to unwind the carry trade, which would involve selling the long-term bonds. It is possible that this could exacerbate the increase in long-term interest rates, i.e. push the rates even higher.

The FSA gave a public warning on March 3rd 2008, that was subject to a peak time report on the risks to savings on Channel Four.

c) The total reliance of North Somerset on the optimistic ratings given by Fitch, when other rating agencies were already downgrading, shows that there was a lack of independent risk analysis and management by those responsible for £100 Million of short term investments ‘in house’. Do those persons responsible have the necessary training and expertise to make these sort of informed decisions ? Indeed do the relevant Councillors profess to understand that the investment was indeed a high risk option in view of market sentiment that was in the public domain ?

d) The Treasury Management Strategy is required under the liberalisation of April 2004 to adhere to Guidance notes issued by HMG. North Somerset’s Strategy (6.8) is in conflict with the Guidance sec 20 and 21 which calls for both High Liquidity and High Security. (See Attached)

Specified Investments of up to one year are allowed in North Somerset’s strategy.

However the £3M was locked in for a fixed six months term, and was not accessible, therefore the investment could not be deemed of ‘High Liquidity’- We would determine this to be convertible at no more than seven days notice. Clearly there was no security involved in this investment. Section 7.3 of North Somerset’s policy is clearly not in line with Government Guidance using the word ‘ appropriate’ in describing the level of security and liquidity. In the Authority’s strategy this should have been replaced with the word ‘High’

e) Accountability

The following are responsible for investing funds that belong to the people of North Somerset, the collection of these funds are enforceable by the power of the Law, and is not option for members of the public to able to opt out. Therefore there is a greater test of accountability.

The ‘In House’ team
Morley Fund Management Fund

To date we are concerned that there has been ‘news management’ of what can only be described as a scandal by the Local Government Association where £1 Bn of taxpayers money has been put at risk and or lost. The LGA has no legal authority to speak on behalf of North Somerset, and the blanket assurance that there has been no reckless behaviour does not sit with the facts.

There have been no offers of resignations by the officers and Members of North Somerset District Council, and the attitude appears to be business as usual, and the Taxpayer will pick up the difference.

We cannot even take this matter to the District Auditor as they have been reckless with £10 M of Public Funds and cannot be deemed untainted


This has been an unmitigated disaster, any losses on this scale in private industry would be subject to sackings and if it had lead to insolvency, there would be no taxpayer to run to, and the Insolvency Service would be holding an inquiry into the behaviour of those responsible.

We would be grateful if you could enter this into the public record as a public submission for the meeting of the 28th October 2008, and furnish a copy of the report in due course.


This was the submission made by the Libertarian Party to North Somerset District Council, a similar report was made to the District Auditor (but unfortunately they had disbarred themselves by doing exactly the same thing in investing in Iceland)

They were not up for anybody addressing the members, we could attend but not speak. This apparently is local democracy

The Conservative,Labour and Lib Dem Members tried to shuffle this into a corner covering each other, the Members blamed the Officials, the officials blamed the Members, the bottom line is nobody got sacked, the money was not recovered from Iceland, now they want you to vote for them again.

North Somerset have put the rates up again this year without mentioning anything about this farce or the faintest blush.

Please help yourself whatever you party allegiance, change the authority name and the amount they lost of your money through greed and incompetence. Ask who resigned over it and who was sacked, when they come round for your vote.

Lazy Moffat claims £30K a year. For life. You pay.

Remember that little spat in the land of the Jockanese whereby Anne Moffat claimed she was bullied by her local Labour Party after they claimed she was doing bugger all for her constituents and has now been deselected?

Anne Moffat admitted that she secured an agreement with the Commons authorities, that would see her handed up to £30,000 per year for the rest of her life, in the latter part of last year.

But the East Lothian MP did not reveal the existence of the arrangement during her ultimately unsuccessful fight against deselection by her constituency party.

It seems she didn't have time to look after her constituents. She was too busy looking after herself.

Miss Moffat said she has not been given final figures yet, but it is estimated she will receive between £25,000 and £30,000 per year in addition to a one-off payment of £32,000.
Onwards Comrades.

++Mandelson blocks an elected Lords++

Proposals for a 300 seat elected Lords chamber have been scuppered by an unelected crook, the guardian reveals today.

Firstly, I like the idea of an elected second chamber. I really like the idea of proportional representation in that chamber. I like the idea that it can hold the Commons to account. Obviously unelected Lord Mandelsnake didn't. And that was that.

There were also suggestions that Mandelson's opposition stemmed from his fear that he will be left without a political platform if the Lords is abolished.



When I lived in Germany during the '80's, I used to get a lot of mail from East Germany (don't ask).

All of it had a little cross on the back of the envelope because the senders knew that unless they put some sort of seal on it, it would be opened and read by the State - for their own protection of course.

Within ten years, they decided enough is enough and threw the totalitarians out.

So I read with interest this morning:

Officers will be allowed to intercept any suspicious mail anywhere in the country and open it before it is delivered, under plans being drawn up by the Government to amend the Postal Services Act.

The measure is billed as a bid to crack down on tobacco smuggling. However, a HM Revenue and Customs spokesman said the powers could be applied much more widely.

Currently, Royal Mail staff have a legal right to intercept suspicious letters and parcels in mail centres and sorting offices and pass them to HM Revenue and Customs.

Tax inspectors must then notify the addressee and agree a mutually acceptable time to open the letter or parcel, before deciding whether to take any enforcement acdtion.

However the Government is now proposing to remove the legal requirement which will now allow inspectors to open suspicious post without asking permission first.

We have become East Germany.

Thursday, 25 March 2010

Let us imagine...

My voice. Hear it

Well, it's been five long years, and pretty soon, you're going to tick a box. Once.

And in another five years, you're going to tick a box again.

And that's it. That's as much democracy as you are allowed.

Now we know from both the Conservative and Labour Manisfestos that they lie and will not be held to them and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. So shut the fuck up and take it.

We also know that Labour rule us all with a rod of iron when only 9 million voted for them last time around. The majority who didn't get one chance every five years to change it. And vote for a different colour of liar who will tell them to shut up for five years whilst happily ignoring what they said they'd do in favour of what will make them personally rich (whilst passing 26,000 new laws you never asked for).

Take just five minutes and think of all the times you've shouted at the radio, thrown housebricks at the tellybox (twice in my household) and slammed the house door on your way to work after listening to John Humphries allow some oily Party shite to wriggle his way out of a simple question on the Today programme.

How many times do you sit and watch Question Time or Prime Ministers Questions and shake your head in disbelief?

How many laws have you watched a few hundred agenda driven people introduce without your consent?

How many times a day are those laws affecting everything you do, say, earn, spend, think?

A few hundred people are controlling every single aspect of your life. Day in, day out. For the next five years. If they pass a law requiring you to put both feet in a bucket of water before you leave the house, tough, Mr Squelchy feet, get moving, you'll be late. And before you laugh, millions of us are forced to stand in the rain outside a pub, in one of the coldest winters ever, because a few hundred people who don't smoke said we have to. And we do it. And if we don't, we go to prison. No, really.

I've long been a fan of Swiss Democracy. Apart from the fact they are the healthiest, richest, happiest, most educated and democratic people in Europe, a few hundred people in Parliament could not tell them that they had to accept minarets in their towns and cities. They decided they liked cuckoo clocks and chocolate, thank you very much. So cuckoo clocks and chocolate it is then. Not the vested interests of a few politicians who for whatever reason thought they could sell the whole of Switzerland in return for a few votes. And they can do that because they have to hold referendums on serious shit. They HAVE TO. It is not up to a few elected, vested interest droids. It's up to the people. The people who have to live with it.

No wonder they want fuck all to do with the EU.

Five years is a long time. Think carefully. Sign on the dotted line and they can do whatever they please. In your name.

I want my voice heard every day, hence this blog. Now I want YOUR voice heard. Hence me running for Parliament.

Direct Democracy. Your voice, in your parliament, in your country. About bastard time. Stop imagining. Take control of your life every day, not just once every five years. You owe it to your parents and to your children.

If you don't, Margaret Moran will happily run your life for you.

PS. It's a Jury Team Policy. Funnily enough

Fools Gold

The nokias will be flying at Downing Street today. With just six weeks until the people get to decide who they want in Parliament, he's being forced to explain why he sold all their 400 tons of gold to some bloke at Gold4cash on the tellybox, losing us £ 7 BILLION

Gordon Brown has been ordered to release information before the general election about his controversial decision to sell Britain's gold reserves.

The decision to sell the gold taken by Mr Brown when he was Chancellor is regarded as one of the Treasury's worst financial mistakes and has cost taxpayers almost £7 billion.

Mr Brown and the Treasury have repeatedly refused to disclose information about the gold sale amid allegations that warnings were ignored.

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

What If....?

How to make a policeman sing

What would you say to Lord Mandleson if you met him on the steps?

What would you say to Jack Straw if he was stood right next to you?

What would you say to Kerry McCarthy if she brushed past you on her way to the vegan organic Tofu bar?

What would you say to Hazel Blears if she looked up at you?

Because I intend to say it. To their faces. On their turf. Where they thought they were so safe, they could spit in your faces and treat our democracy as a personal plaything.

I'm taking stick for joining the Jury Team in my attempt to enter Parliament as the first man with honest intentions. I know some of my readers are astounded. But if I want to throw the moneylenders out, I first need access to the Temple. I've offered you plenty of opportunities to join me on my November 5th walks. I've given you ideas to overthrow the State and do your bit.

And now I'm using an opportunity given to me to put my money where my mouth is. I didn't decide not to free Nick Hogan because a photographer from the Daily Mail was going to be there. And I detest the Daily Mail. I didn't decide not to send the shirts off our backs to Gordon Brown because it was environmentally unfriendly.

I am fully aware that the hunter is to become the hunted if it gets the job done - It is only natural for people to panic when a live tiger enters the village. To those pouring abuse on me, forget it. I've been doing this for too long to be offended (or indeed, care).

As far as I'm concerned, it's game on. And if, by any chance, I do enter the House of Commoners, you will see things you have never seen before and your grandchildren will discuss in school history lessons. I absolutely guarantee it.

And yes, I will campaign for a choice of smoking and no smoking pubs. Vehemently.

Help needed for Cambridge

The Team

Just got back from a meeting with Sir Paul Judge, head of Jury Team at Old Holborn Jury Team HQ in London.

The team are busy making sure that the first Internet Angry Rant Blogger in Parliament Campaign (me) gets the necessary clout to be able to boot down the doors of Parliament and throw the mace about a bit to clear out the immoral thieves and liars who are currently running the place. In OUR name.

Donations are coming in and I will put all those who donated on an email list so you can get updates on how YOUR money is being spent upsetting the cosy little apple cart our "masters" have created for themselves.

What I now need is:

A room in Cambridge to use as a campaign HQ. Preferably with wireless internet and a desk. I'll sort the rest. And yes, I'll pay too.

A printer who doesn't need to finance his Sunseeker yacht and villa in Tuscany with your money to print flyers and posters, stickers and flags etc.

All the contacts to University students I can get. I want to remind students that they were once capable of making governments cower, instead of now being cash cows to be landed in debt until they retire.

Somebody to create a flyer and posters ready for the printer

Any media contacts people have in Cambridge. Journalists, TV crews, broadcasters, photographers etc., I like to make noise and I intend to be heard far and wide.

Humourous stuff on Cambridge Council or any of the other people standing. Especially photos of them pointing at potholes or being hugged by Gordon Brown/Charlie Whelan/Derek Draper.

Volunteers to raid the dressing up box and come punting with me down the River Cam letting off fireworks and shouting at Communists (who are always called Crispin, read Politics and end up running the BBC on £800K a bastard year of your money anyway)

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Old Holborn's Support Team.

Another day, another career change. Nothing unusual in the life of Ms Raccoon, who never was a woman to say No.

Old Holborn has agreed to stand for election as the candidate for the Jury Party in Cambridge, and he, in turn, has asked me to stand as his election agent.

Quite apart from my habitual willingness to master any passing challenge, I wasn’t a bad choice as it happens, for election law is complex and extensive and it is the job of the election agent to make sure that the candidate doesn’t fall foul of it.

Even with my legal background it has taken me four days to give it a cursory read through, and I will need to be letter perfect to ensure that Old Holborn doesn’t accidentally fall into any of the electoral pot holes that await him.

So far I have been able to advise him that if he is caught buying anyone a drink in the belief that it might induce them to vote for him, he is liable to a £5,000 fine and up to six months imprisonment under Section 114, Representation of the People Act 1983; so no name calling if he doesn’t stand his round in the pub – he’s under orders!

Old Holborn is a brilliant choice as candidate – the events of the past few weeks have taught me a lot about his beliefs and his honesty. He is exactly the sort of person that Parliament needs.

He is not interested in promoting his real life personae, in raising his profile as a person to be appointed to boards or committees, he prefers to remain anonymous.

He is not interested in belonging to a powerful group or tribe, or toeing the party line. He prefers to be independent.

He is genuinely interested in hearing the views of his fellow citizens, not just the approved, politically correct, views, but all views.

He has a heartfelt belief in the ability – and right - of each of us to live our lives responsibly without ‘Nanny’ supervising, whilst reserving his sympathy for those who, through no fault of their own, need protection.

He understands that being ‘represented’ in a democracy isn’t just a box ticking exercise, performed every five years; but should be a process that you, the voter, are engaged in at every step of the way – not just at election time.

Most of all, he understands the real meaning of a fiduciary duty – that when you place your confidence and faith in someone to do something – to act as your representative in parliament - then they have both the power and the obligation to act in a manner which displays total trust, good faith and honesty.

Too many politicians misunderstand that duty, they believe that once given power, it is theirs to use as they see fit, and will vote in ways which assist their party or their own career progression, and lose sight of the trust you placed in them to act in YOUR best interests.

You, the person who gave them power to act in the first place. No one else.

That is my sort of Politician, so I will be doing every thing in my power to help Old Holborn enter parliament legally – dressed as Guy Fawkes.

It also promises to be enormous fun and a campaign like no other!

Donate to Old Holborn's Election Fund

Ok, worthy readers. I am asking for a Penny for the Guy to overthrow the State, put corrupt MPs on their arses and give us the opportunity to let an honest man with honest intentions enter Parliament. At last.

Under blah blah rules, subsection 20, blah blah, I am not able to take donations of over £50 from abroad and am forced to return them, but other than that, feel free to pile in using the paypal button at the side.

As an indication, I'll need 30,000 A4 Flyers to litter the streets of Cambridge (£300), 1,000 A2 Posters to hang from lamposts and frighten the children (£400), 100 V for Vendetta Masks (£500), rent for an office for 6 weeks (£1000) and loads of other unorthadox stuff to make the first Blogosphere in Parliament campaign in the UK a stunning and highly visible success.

Every penny counts and will only be spent on bringing back the House of Commons to us. The People. At last

Give generously, tell all your friends and expect a massive bang for your buck when it kicks off shortly. If I say I can do it, then I can do it. More to the point you can do it. As you have proved.

PS. I'm also looking for volunteers who like to make a scene and get on the tellybox and in the papers and stuff. Email me if you can help with ANYTHING AT ALL.

* Holding a referendum on the status of the UK within the EU
* Setting up an English Parliament
* Reducing the number of MPs by a third (from 650 to 433)
* Changing Commons elections to proportional representation
* Requiring referendums on petition by 5% of the electorate
* Limiting government borrowing to 10% of expenditure
* Protecting bank customer deposits from casino banking
* Limiting benefits to 80% of the after tax minimum wage
* Sentencing violent criminals to 'army style' punishment
* Limiting UK troops in Afghanistan to the NATO average
* Requiring private medical insurance for non-EU citizens
* Establishing a 10 year residence requirement for UK Citizenship
* Allowing state schools to opt out from local authority control
* Requiring stores to let customers leave excess packaging
* Making myself the biggest pain in the arse to Parliament I can


Threatening Letters OHMS

John Mann MP gets a bit touchy when he asked about an expenses repayment he made of £2,395.02

He says he claimed it on the wrong forms, and can't be arsed to reclaim it.

Every time somebody asks him about it, they're threatened with a libel action.

So, how about it, John, sue me if you like, but tell me what the money was for.

H/T Rantin Rab

Seems a complete reptile, still he cannot sue us all

I Thought The Orange Juice Was A Weapon M'Lud, So I Hit Her A Lot

This has to be the lamest defence I have heard for Police brutality, thank God she was not on the Tube and he had a gun.

City of Westminster Magistrates' Court was shown the footage and told it captured Sgt Smellie, who was wearing protective armour and gloves, first "backhanding" Miss Fisher in the face then hitting her with the asp baton "with some force".

The court was told Sgt Smellie felt he had to act because she was carrying "weapons".

However, Miss Fisher was only carrying a small camera in her right hand and a carton of orange juice in the left.

Nick Paul, prosecuting, said Sgt Smellie told investigators that Miss Fisher had "refused to obey orders".

Time for action

OK, I've put my money where my mouth is and am standing for election by the good people of Cambridge. Time to plan a campaign.

I'm not the sort of person to go around kissing babies or knocking on council house doors, nor am I the sort of person who points at potholes in the road for the local papers. I'm the sort of person who likes to have fun. So I want suggestions for my campaign to free the enslaved peoples of Cambridge and overthrow Parliament.

So far, I am planning:

100 Guy Fawkes punting down the River Cam with gunpowder barrels
Releasing 20 live pigs into Parliament. Probably.
A bonfire party where we burn 300+ effigies of MPs who "inadvertently" claimed excess expenses.
Handing out "hot potatoes" to busy shoppers
A horse and cart, driven by me, with a cage full of MPs in the back
Free screening of V for Vendetta in Cambridge

Any other ideas, fellow seditionaries?

UPDATE: Just spoken to Cambridge Electoral Register Office

OH (after being bounced around): "Hi, I'm handing in my nomination papers as a candidate, what ID do I need to bring"
Civil Servant: "Oh, I don't know. Some sort of badge, a rosette or something"
OH: "Er..Is the manager there?"
Civil Servant: "Not today, no. Ring back tomorrow"

Monday, 22 March 2010

Carry on abroad

Whilst the rest of the Blogosphere rips Byers apart, the BBC have chosen to focus on MPs who, at the invitiation of foreign governments, get to travel to exotic locations in return for influence in Parliament. Your Parliament. Not theirs.

I wish I had a photograph of Conservative PPC wannabe Iain Dale being lavishly entertained recently on an expenses paid trip to Israel

Anyone got one?

UPDATE: Got one.

A couple of fat, broken down tanks in Israel, brought to you by the Conservative Friends of Israel (no expenses spared)

PS. Anyone know if Daniel Zeichner (Lab) Cambridge has been on a fully funded trip to Israel?

++Old Holborn to stand for MP++

It was an offer I couldn't refuse. I can now reveal that possibly the worst kept secret on the Blogosphere is true.

I have been selected as a candidate for the Jury Team to fight the Cambridge constituency for the General Election.

I can assure you all, the fun is about to commence. Stay tuned.

Purer than Pure

We do, as a new Government, have to be extremely careful after 18 years in opposition. A lot of people who worked for us, they then go on and work for the lobby firms. I think we have to be very careful with people fluttering around the new Government, trying to make all sorts of claims of influence, that we are purer than pure, that people understand that we will not have any truck with anything that is improper in any shape or form at all. - Anthony Charles Lynton Blair
Just sign the petition. Our glorious leader has already rejected calls for an inquiry. Even though he hasn't seen the programme yet. No further comment required.

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Must Watch

Not often I do this.

But if you haven't seen it, please watch.

Smoke and Mirrors

Here was I, minding my own business when a tweet from the BBC news hit my state of the art newsdesk

Has the time come for greater transparency?
Stupid question, I thought (and told them so). But nevertheless, I was intrigued to follow the link and read what Pravda could possibly add to the debate. Sure enough, a little vested interest piece designed to show the ever stupid public that matters are in hand, no need to panic. Or ask questions. It even included a quote:

When the public can not see how public policy is being influenced then we have a problem
Tamasin Cave, Alliance for Lobbying Transparency

Who? Never heard of them. Off we go to the Alliance for Lobbying Transparency website.

Wow, these guys look tough. They've set their targets on some right dodgy people

After the expenses scandal, we deserve a new type of politics – it’s vital that prospective MPs are fully transparent about their links to lobbying.

I agree. Tell me where I should look. But first, tell me where you get your money from. I'd hate to think there were any vested interests at play.

Action Aid

Campaign Against Arms Trade

Campaign for Press and Broadcasting Freedom

Corporate Watch


Friends of the Earth


National Union of Journalists

Pesticides Action Network


SPEAK Network


Unlock Democracy

War on Want

World Development Movement

sigh...they just don't get it, do they? If you want a job as a Lobbyist, you could do worse than watch the W4MP website job pages, where many of the above listed fake charities advertise for er...lobbyists.

Stephen Buyers et al.

The stench of corruption

MPs for sale for a mere £3-5K per day. Any ordinary voters (the people these leeches are supposed to represent) are urged to take cash in brown paper envelopes. And get to the back of the queue.

Saturday, 20 March 2010

Make a date Totty Watch

Daniel Finkelstein is hosting a champagne party at the Britain Club next week for the "brightest and best of Britain's new leaders". £10 in advance, £15 on the door.

Monday, 22 March 2010

Jubilee Room
House of Commons


Guests so far include all of the below:

Facebook Group HERE

It would nice to see a few of our readers there

Every vote counts

Now we know why they fear a low turnout. Every single vote is worth 14p to a political party. Plus £14,000 for every seat they win. The Tories have received £4.7 million in taxpayers money alone.

Read and weep how they help themselves to your cash. On condition that you vote of course. I won't be. Starve the beast.

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