Friday, 3 September 2010

Sits Vac - Special Advisor to the Foreign Office

A position has arisen within the office of the Foreign Secretary for a Special Advisor to the Right Honourable William Hague MP, Foreign Secretary of Great Britain and Northern Ireland with the Foreign and Commonwealth Office of HM Government.

Candidates should possess the following skills

  • A deep understanding of International Trade Relations, preferably gained within the commercial environment of a leading FTSE 100 company. Ex COO or CFO experience preferred
  • Fluency in at least two foreign languages
  • Culturally aware - Diplomatic experience preferred
  • Solid media experience, preferably gained within an International organisation
  • Politically astute - Post Degree educated, specialising in Business or International Relations

A width and breath of experience commensurate with this critical role in advancing the aims and aspirations of a G8 country. Your advice will shape future foreign policy of the United Kingdom from Arms trading to International Aid, Defense policy to the Middle East, energy supplies, Immigration, Climate change policy and Global relations. Lengthy documented success in any of the above areas will be required. Your judgement will be impeccable and your references spotless.

You will also be subject to rigorous Intelligence Service vetting as this critical role is exposed to our adversaries as well as our friends, globally. You will show wisdom, clarity of thought, lateral thinking, complex problem solving and project management skills. You will be an excellent communicator, able to take responsibility and accountability and act as a motivational mentor to your juniors within the civil service.

25 year old Yorkshire cab drivers who expose the Foreign Secretary to possible blackmail threats by foreign intelligence services and bring the security of the UK Foreign Office into threat need not apply unless they fancy finding themselves in a padlocked sportsbag in the bath.

We welcome applications reagrdless of gender, ethnicity, religion, disability or sexual orientation. Don't expect to get the job if you are a Muslim poof. It's called security and we at the Foreign Office take it very seriously, starting now.

UPDATE: Oopps. Now I've gone and done it

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