Friday, 18 June 2010

Rinsed

an old person swimming yesterday

Yesterday, the Govt announced that it is no longer going to pay for free swims for kids and OAPS.

Call me old fashioned, but I welcome this news. Since when did we decide that every hamlet up and down the country needs an Olympic swimming pool and then let everyone in for free?

Being a good parent, the minute Braintree's new multimillion pound swimming pool opened and I heard they were giving away free swims, I rounded up the brats and went and stood in the queue for free passes along with all the other volvo driving middle classes and their grammar school kids. All of us could afford the £2.95 per kid, but hey, it's free right?

One week later and the kids couldn't be arsed anymore. Not just mine, all of them. The pool is now empty except...when the schools book it to teach kids to swim every week. Like they used to. And don't charge the taxpayer £140 MILLION for the privilege.

The OAP's round our way can't be arsed to go swimming. They prefer whizzing around on mobility scooters and blocking up the post office. They didn't ask for a 25m, 8 lane facility on their doorstep and they're not the ones paying for it either. I am. To wash gypsy children once a week. Bollocks to that.

Next move in the "getting rid of really expensive things no one asked for" are:

  • 5 a side football pitches,
  • skateparks,
  • council funded multicultural festivals,
  • gay pride marches,
  • equality roadshows,
  • "Legz Akimbo" style theatre groups touring schools teaching them to be poofs and communists,
  • anything to do with Lenny Henry

62 comments:

Oldrightie said...

I suspect all your wish list will be splendidly granted. Common sense seems to have made a comeback!

Catflap said...

No doubt about it Labour set up a lot of initiatives knowing they would have to be cut by the Cons.
This free swimming shit has only been around a short while.
Lefty Lore will say otherwise.

Dick the Prick said...

Lenny Henry should be hanged and we could sell tickets, have a few rides, maybe a dog show and a band or two and raise some money for the local hospice or something. Just a thought.

J MacFarlane said...

We could swim to France, it is free(r) over there.

bofl said...

i suppose the free swimming was to encourage people to get fit?

the health benefits outweighing the problems of obesity and old age?

my local pool is always busy and so is the skate park.i worked at one for a while.the kids really enjoyed themselves and it is quite tiring.

never any trouble whether on boards,skates or bikes.

whether these things should be free is another question as they all have the latest gear and their parents had £50,000 4x4's!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

but surely most of these things are just a diversion?

the real money wasted is on things like EU membership and wars....

estimates on EU membership range between £65 billion to £118bn per year .......

now thats a lot of lengths!

Anonymous said...

While they're at it, they can also get rid of the absurd 'free' (hahahaha) bus travel scheme for pensioners.

This creates the daft situation whereby 'free' bus travel is undercutting subsidised train services.

Complete madness.

digger. said...

I find Lenny henry quite funny,well at least his teopolis p wildebeest incarnation from the nineties.

Anonymous said...

'Legz Akimbo'....lol. I've always fancied starting a Black Lace tribute band & call it 'Creme Brulee'

Noise said...

I had always assumed the surplus £6B that goes into the EU was to pay for the military help given by Europe in Afghanistan/Iraq.

The alternatives are either that a) we pay more because we want more power, or b) Blair/Gordo truly were insane and powerless.

Both a & b are perfectly possible, but I doubt the civil servants behind labour were that dumb.

ranter said...

Amen to all of that and especially Lenny Henry. I doubt the Beeb will take that on board he's now a regular on radio 4 with yet another deeply unfunny 'West Indian' sitcom a couple of plays (now he's a 'serious' actor) as well as forever banging on how he got an OU degree in English. Cunt!

You didn't mention the DJ/Selecta and human beatbox courses doled out to younf black kids too. God forbid they should learn anything except how to be an annoying pain in the arse gangsta.

Ampers said...

Oi!

Lay off the free travel pass. In London I can travel anywhere in the North/South Circulars by Bas, Tube, Brish Rail, Tram and Docklands Light Railway and get 50% off Thames River Cruisers.

But there are no worries here, the government who stops this will lose London forever.

Having said all this, I have to admit, it is ridiculous really :-)

Ampers

Billy Blofeld said...

If you crossed Lenny Henry and Dawn French - you'd get Diane Abbott.

Disenfranchised of Buckingham said...

The picture shows what should happen to Hattie Hagperson, Mrs Balls et al.

Damn scolds the lot of them.

Ampers said...

@Billy Blofeld

Can you post your address here please? I want to invoice you for a new keyboard and a broken coffee mug.

Ampers

Vulpus_rex said...

Not sure about those in the rest of the country, but the West End retailers and Soho love the Pride event in London as it brings in huge amounts of cash.

Katz said...
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Hellion said...
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Dave Figgley said...

Holborn you are a (reasonably) smart chap. What does your troll Haslam get out of it? The real Ron posts away happily to his audience. Is it a gay thing as you said before? A bitter old queen in Bedfordshire or some shit hole eeking out retirement by posting porn online. How many readers have you lost over this? (I won't be tuning in if it continues, I am far from alone).

Ethan said...
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Wyrdtimes said...

Like all the other cuts announced this will affect only the people of England.

English people already get the least per person funding in the dis-United Kingdom leading to the worst services.

According to the likes of McCameron it's all a price worth paying to keep this shitty old "union" going.

English taxes for England
English law for England
Home rule for England

misam said...

Vulpus_rex said...

Not sure about those in the rest of the country, but the West End retailers and Soho love the Pride event in London as it brings in huge amounts of cash.

Then the council should reduce business rates and council tax and let those who want to have the parade and visit the parade pay for it directly (inc. the cost of policing it).

Vulpus_rex said...

Possibly Misam, but....

there is a difference between a council spending money on something that nobody really wants, except perhaps for a vocal and insistent interested party, which thus makes a wasteful loss, and a council spending money on something that is a success both in financial terms for the ratepayers and we gays get a nice big party.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure the oil will stick to these?

Anonymous said...

Mr Fox,
King or no, please don't go along with the poof agenda to steal the word 'pride' ( as they have stolen the word gay ). Has no one else noticed the transition from Gay Pride to just 'pride' ?
The dirty buggers are also stealing the rainbow....

don't encourage them.

haddock

Anonymous said...

I have no problems with gay/lesbien etc marches. I just don't want, nor do I see why my taxes should pay for it.If you want to stick your cock in another man, fine. Just don't send me the bill.

RantinRab said...

Indded, scrap the 'free' travel for pensioners and junkies.

Also, why should dolescum get cheaper access to swimming etc?

Throgmorton said...

What have they to be "proud" about?
They claim what they do is "not abnormal" so why do they not have a "Normality Pride" parade.
Or should the rest of us have a "Normality Shame" parade?

J MacFarlane said...

It is to do with being in a sub-culture and of (perceived, straight) oppression. The "Sticking pricks in men" (do you have an issue you'd like to share?) only applies to the males. Now muff divers are another story...

misam said...

Vulpus_rex said...

Possibly Misam, but....

there is a difference between a council spending money on something that nobody really wants, except perhaps for a vocal and insistent interested party, which thus makes a wasteful loss, and a council spending money on something that is a success both in financial terms for the ratepayers and we gays get a nice big party.


There is no difference. If a gay pride march is such a money spinner for a select few streets there is no need for those who do not attend nor profit from it to subsidise it. It is politicians abusing taxpayer money to curry favour and publicity by exploiting a minority interest.

Anonymous said...

No but pkwnty of freebies for the immigrant hoards replacements for the British who voted for it

Bob Geldof said...

Just give us the fucking money!

Anonymous said...

I looked into this.

Turns out some private company runs the system on behalf of Sport England, on behalf of my local council, on behalf of, erm, me. Somewhere, probably lost on a train, there's a database of the swimming habits, names, addresses and dates of birth of the nations kids waiting for some bloke in a dirty mac to find.

Needless to say mine won't be on it. Each time we arrived sans swipe card we were given another set of forms (with no data protection statement on them) to bring back next time, then waved in for free. The forms always went in the bin the other side of the changing room doors.

Another example of being bribed with our own money whilst having our privacy invaded, methinks.

SadButMadLad said...

"Next move in the "getting rid of really expensive things no one asked for" are:
...
* gay pride marches"

You'll get on fine with the Mayor of Doncaster. He said that whilst the council will allow such marches, they should not fund them. If any group or minority wants a march, they can pay for it themselves.

McEgans Daddy said...

The only muff that J MacFarlane aka K McEgan ever slurped upon was his mums when she promised him a toffee apple. The rest of his oral sex experience amounts to talking like a cunt and rimming the odd male stranger in the woods. Would you like to know what the filthy little sod got chucked out of Hertford for?

Anita Women Against Rape said...

McEgans Daddy, did it have anything to do with a charming young lady by the name of Ms Anne Marie Hackett alleging she had been raped by a mental defective who was also a fellow student?

Anonymous said...

•anything to do with Lenny Henry"
I will go along with that providing it means his fat talentless "wife" Mrs Henry Leonard the Vicar of Shitley. Used to be part of a "comedy" double act with another fat cow from Uni the only double act with two straight people.

Punisher said...

You won't be laughing when you're gagging on my big purple cock you cunt. You'll be choking. Suffocating. Later you'll be sleeping the big sleep under the gorse in the peaty soil of a Yorkshire moor you filthy unwashed fascist bastard. Reduced to fertilizer. Finally finding a useful purpose as putrefying food for the worms.

Believe in God do you?

It won't be long now before you'll have a chance to meet your maker.

Cunt!

Ron Broxted said...
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Dave Figgley said...
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Mustapha A Wank said...

I understand from Sky News that the South African police in Cape town are searching for a disgruntled English fan who invaded the English football teams dressing room after the match. That should narrow the fucking search down!

Anonymous said...

Oh dear Holborn the curse of D.G Haslam strikes again. Ever considered putting on a night shift? 1am-seems to be when it gets off medication.

Keith Chegwin said...
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Mike Rowave said...

I agree with abolishing free travel and swimming for old gits. Where I live on the South coast you cannot get on a bus in the summer, because they are all full up with geriatric cunts with shopping bags full of Thermos flasks and cheese and tomato sandwiches seeing how far they can travel in a day for fuck all. Many I might add are not even locals. Harold Shipman had the right idea. Rest in peace doc.

Anonymous said...
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HeadsonPoles said...

What is interesting is how the left say these things are free. We all know thay are not and never will be.

If you want to take part in these activities, then you pay for them.
If you can't pay for them, either make a living so you can or shut the fuck up.

As for the pride marches etc. - tell them all to grow up.

Catflap said...

This England team just about sum up every fucking over paid so called Professional cunt in our Country.
SHIT!
Pay is so high and standards so low.
Fuck it,Drop the wages and have part time window cleaners/footballers represent England at footy and the Char lady can run my local councils finance Dept on a part time basis as well.
She couldn't possibly do worse than the wanker who lost £2.5 million of taxpayers money in Iceland.

Mustapha A Wank said...

Catflap how true.

Ron Broxted said...

HeadsonPoles, every year I attend many Gay events each year, indeed I actually lead the parade in Belfast every year, it gives me such a thrill to know that there are so many gay men just behind me blowing whistles. The lesbians also give the straight guys in the crowd quite a thrill. Try to be more tolerant, I suspect you are only jealous luv.

Shanghai7 said...
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Sarf of the River said...

Great post! (and comments).

Brian said...
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John T Angle said...
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Dale Winton said...
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Philippe Faloppe said...
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Anonymous said...

In Sydney (Australia) they have a pensioner excursion ticket, where you pay $2.50 for a day travelcard that you can use in the whole city. They have the right idea, like Medicare (= NHS) where you pay upfront and claim like 90% back from the government at an office in a shopping centre nearby, which rarely has a queue.

HeadsonPoles said...

March all you want Ron, just don't expect me to pay or have any interest.

Homostraightius said...

I'll be buggered if you'll find me on a gay pride march.

Shanghai7 said...
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Bedlam said...
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Garry. Braintree Essex. said...
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Field Marshall Watkins said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Druids worried over future of Stonehenge visitor centre
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wiltshire/10348702.stm

Broxted said...

I got gang banged once in Salisbury by a group of bearded muscular men who said they were druids. They told me that it was my initiation and afterwards I would be told the secret of Stonehenge. Lying bastards left me tied to a tree in a park with by combats and pants around my ankles. Turned out they were Hells Angels and not Druids. I am much wiser now.

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