Sunday, 4 April 2010

Broccoli and the LAW

I'm not a great fan of broccoli. Some people like it though. I believe you can order it in some restaurants and most supermarkets sell it.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that it is now illegal for a shop or restaurant not to offer broccoli. Even if you hate the stuff, it must be offered to you. By Law. Because under new legislation, if someone who loves broccoli demands broccoli in your shop or restaurant and you don't serve it, you are a filthy homophobe and should be put to death.

Eat up all your broccoli. It's the LAW.

I'm off to my local Halal butchers to demand a pork chop. It's my RIGHT

UPDATE: I have found a hotel that will ONLY serve you if you like broccoli. Non broccoli eaters can fuck off

UPDATE2: Tax payer funded Broccoli Charity will only accept CV's from people who love Broccoli. Non broccoli eaters can fuck off


frances44 said...

Guyz is a GENUINE Gay Hotel.
That means it is a hotel owned and run BY gay people FOR gay people,
but beware there are some straight owned ‘Pink Pound’ friendly Hotels
locally that display the pride flag trying to cash in on gay money,
and it isn’t until you check in that you discover they may be mixed, or even have
STAG & HEN parties staying.!!!
If you are specifically looking for a Gay Hotel be sure to ask if it is exclusively
gay when booking to avoid possible disappointment

TheBigYin said...

Could the Guyz Hotel be classified as a brothel for gay men? Is there a hotel where I can smoke in its bar? Is Blackpool the gay capital of the UK?

Questions, too many damn questions.

RantinRab said...

Whatever happened to 'Management reserve the right...'

If I don't want someone in my shop I tell them to fuck the fuck off. No debate. It's MY fucking shop and I am the Manager. Private premises used for business use are still private, the public are only there by INVITATION ONLY.

Fucking knob jockeys.

lilith said...

I think my daughter should have been allowed to go to Eton. It's sex discrimination.

Old Holborn said...

I wanted to go to st Trinians

lilith said...

We all did, Holby :-)

Stop Common Purpose said...

This is like being in some weird parallel universe.

May I go back to the real one, please?

lenko said...

We seem to be safe from any visitations from Prez H.W. Bush. He was NOT a broccoli fan -- see this clip from Have I got News From You.

Shug Niggurath said...

That gay hotel advertises one of it's rooms as 'smoking'; What's that all about?

Catflap said...

I will accept the Broccoli on my plate as long as the establishment owners don't mind me 'Arranging'it in a manner which resembles Harriet Harmans pussy.
Neither of which I wish to eat.

Dick the Prick said...

Broccoli is by far and away (spinach & watercress the next nearest) the best vegetable ever. Gayers are irrelevant when the topic is broccoli. Seriously, anti-oxidents, iron and a factor X that is fucking tremendous.

4 minutes max, boiling hot water, nice bit of salt, catch it on the al dente and it tastes like fruit. I think you don't like broccoli because you've not cooked it properly.

Also, quick stir fry in butter, same amount of time.

TractorStats said...

I see the boys are out side and would like to Book In

Anonymous said...

Its a disgrace that us puffs have to allow straights into our bars and clubs. They used to be such beautiful places full of hot rippling muscles and tribal tattoos. Now they're full of fat ugly retards called Shaz and Jimmy who spend the evening swigging tiny thimbles of strong alcohol and punching each other in the face. Then again they are funny to watch a bit like a visit to the zoo at feeding time. Off to church now as it's Easter Sunday and I can thank the lord that at least I was born white.

Happy Easter don't eat too many eggs now you'll only get fat.

TheBigYin said...

Shug, the smoking ban law experiment allows for hotels anb B&Bs to have 'smoking' rooms where you can smoke in them, and them only, nowhere else in the hotel etc including the bar. However this comes at a premium...descriminating against the humble smoker.

Anonymous said...

I don't get you Old Holborn. How can someone with such strong political convictions and more than an eye for injustice, so willingly be homophobic? Although some of the work you do do is wonderful, and i am thankful, I think that it would be a disaster if you were to enter parliment as an M.P.

We are trying to get these creeps out who love to segregate us, you'll be just adding to the problem.

time to seriously rethink your insecurities through that lead you to this mindless hatred you are so fond of pushing on us. Sort yourself out if you want to speak for people...

Pope Ringstinger said...

How dare the sexual deviants that aren't Priests hijack one of Gods most Phalic vegetables.
A Broccoli can be both Penis or vagina depending on which way you hold it up.
While aknowledging gods grace we at the Vatican still banned the Broccoli along with cracks in the ceiling and bedknobs in all our Seminarys and convents.


Deborah.T said...

Praise the LORD
OH may the blessings be upon thee.
The Satanists of Cambridge will tremble at the coming of the GOOD NEWS. My thoughts are with you and yours.

And it's Easter Sunday said...

Does anyone have a Darwinian take on the evolution of our species?

Perhaps it's natures way of decreasing the overpopulation of the planet (oops, I forgot, lesbians & gay "men" can donate their required half of the reproductive part as required).

lilith said...

"I don't get you Old Holborn. How can someone with such strong political convictions and more than an eye for injustice, so willingly be homophobic?"

You are not very bright are you Anon? You don't have to be homophobic to believe that everyone should have a right to manage their own conscience and run their lives accordingly.
You'll be saying that it is Islamaphobic to believe that BA staff should be allowed to wear a crucifix next.

Shug Niggurath said...

BigYin, I genuinely didn't know that one. Crazy stuff. I only use UK hotels through work and I have never even considered being able to smoke since the bans came in.

Anonymous said...

I read somewhere that "we don't want a return to signs hanging outside businesses saying no blacks no gays no gypsies". I say why not? If the BandB had a sign up stating that they weren't welcome then would the two puffs have wanted to give their hard earnt to the homophobes in the first place? Would I ? Certainly not. The gay bars could stop the straights coming in the straights could stop the gays. The blacks could say no whites the whites could state no blacks. Those that didn't want to restrict there custom could have no sign. But no sign would mean no restrictions at all including football shirts and trainers. Failure to display your racist / sexist sign would result in arrest. I'm sure that would make everyone happier and the gay bars more pretty.

lilith said...

I would choose a Gay B&B over a Christian Fundamentalist one any day. Are Christians a persecuted minority yet?

Catflap said...

As far as Homosexuals jumping on the oppressed minority bandwagon and demanding rights above those of the ordinary citizen are concerned,they can fuck off.
But if in a shit fight between Gays and religious believers then the Physical facts should trump the spiritual beliefs any day.
Religion is a choice that people volunteer themselves to follow.
With Race,Gender and sexuality we are given no choice.
If a christian registrar has a problem with marrying gays then don't be a fucking registrar then,or drop the religious crap. one of the two.

Antisthenes said...

It is a scientific fact that eating broccoli cuts the risk of getting cancer by 50%.

Do I hear a pin dropping?

Grrrrrrr! said...

Aaaghhh!!! Sorry, I am a private business owner & hapen to be gay and I agree totally with Holby on this point. It is simply not being homophobic to suggest that the state should get the fuck out of telling me who I can do business with. If I own a B&B, hotel, pub or any other business & some filthy, abusive tramp or other undesirable (in my opinion)walks in, I reserve the right not to trade with them. I do not have to give a reason why I do not wish to trade - equally, I do not need to cause offence in refusing to do so (although sometimes I may well choose to). This is a question of fundamental liberties....again. Ask yourselves seriously - if a B&B had a sign outside saying "no Jews, Blacks, Irish or Gays" how long do you think it would stay in business (apart from Mr Griffin & his cohorts - to whom they are bloody welcome)?

Catflap said...

Easter thoughts:
If fucking McDonalds had let its staff sexualy abuse and beat kids by the thousands and the managing directors had been found covering it all up what would happen to the McDonalds Corporation?
It would not be allowed to clean up its act and move on that's for fucking sure.
So powerful is the Vatican that beardy fuckwit Rowan Williams apologises for telling the truth?
Fucking hell.
Not even the fucking Pope felt the need to apologise for anything today the thick skinned cunt.
The CoE is boned.

Grrrrrr! said...

...oh and as an aside, I'm not sure what fills me with more horror - the idea of staying in a "gay" hotel or the idea of staying in Blackpool (give me five star anytime thank you).

Chief_Sceptic said...

And just when were 'Guyz Hotel' and \ or 'Intercom Trust' prosecuted for discrimination against heterosexuals ? ...

Wait, that would be never ! (and never likely to be either) ...

And no - I'm not homophobic - I'm "politcalcorrectophobic" !!! ...

Anonymous said...

Broccoli stir-fried in a little chilli-infused olive oil or with some garlic butter is the motherfucking shiznit, negroes!

bofl said...

i personally dont care what people do behind closed doors.....

however it seems that as usual we have laws to force the majority accept the minority.....

perhaps gays actually do offend a lot of others......why cant THEY accept that?

looking at the newspapers it is obvious that the 'journos' are so brainwashed themselves that they are oblivious to the majority views expressed in the comments......

and of course they run straight to mandy........a person loathed by 60 million people yet still allowed to roam freely in these islands whilst stealing YOUR money!

there is no left said...

When the state dictate what you can do in your bussiness, then you are effectively a slave, same for all the free speech laws.

it has nothing to do with equality and everything to do with destroying society.

it also has nothing to do with marxism and everything to do with tatalitarianisn more akin to fascism.

the so called lefties are no such thing, they have in fact destroyed the left for the elites and the NWO.

Everyone is a slave, controled by the state, all owned by the corporate cartels!

anto fascism is the new fascism said...

"however it seems that as usual we have laws to force the majority accept the minority....."

yes, note the word `force`.

it is anti democratic - will of the majority.

it is dictatorship, fascism.

it often ends in death camps, as churchil said, fascism will return as anti-fascism.

Dazed And Confused said...

Apparently, broccoli's one in a range of "super foods". A "Compulsory fibre"

Tick all Socialist boxes to a tee then..

Anonymous said...

OH has to do what his MASTERS say... end of chat.

Spot the diff, from the shite we have now, and the shite after the GE.
Vote for no fucka!

Corvus Corax said...

Iain is being an illiberal plonker as usual. Hotels etc: should be allowed to refuse a room to any particular group, whether they be Muslims, Homosexuals, or even Apple i-pod owners, provided that they clearly state this in their terms and conditions. Anything else is state-sponsored bullying of the sort we've come to expect from the LibLabCon.

Anonymous said...

I love BEANZ

Michael said...

May the LORD strike the sinners down, and bring them to his TRUTH.

Spartan said...

Here we go again. The gay community getting their knickers in a twist and brandishing their handbags on another pathetic crusade.

Gay? ... they should be prosecuted under the Trade Descriptions Act. What a moaning set of boring miserable bastards!

Spartan said...

Wow! .... l'd ban them on looks alone regardless of their sexuality!

Anonymous said...

Off-topic but....

Who the fuck is paying for this shit ?!?!

I couldn't give a flying fuck what some tribal fucking in-breeds in Afghanistan want to do to each other or how they choose to live their primitive fucking lives.

Fuck Afghanistan ! And bring our boys home - NOW !!

WV: edelyedi - probably some Muslim genital mutilation practice.

Captain Haddock said...

Anonymous said...

"I love BEANZ"

Personally, I love Sprouts .. and delight in sharing the results afterwards ..

Never let it be said that I'm anything less than generous either ..

caesars wife said...

You make an viable point OH , had to dine with some liberal facists today , I was enjoying it until the finger pointing for daring to hold differing views started and the conversation stifled, as they couldnt escape the mind bending.

However I thought I would post this which I have plagerised but will credit W.Smith from scotland.(I havent checked the calculations)

Next time you hear a politician use the word "Billion" in a casual manner think about wether you want the politicians spending YOUR tax money .

A billion seconds ago it was 1959

A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive .

A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the stone age .

A billion days ago no one walked the earth on two feet .

A billion pounds ago was only 13hrs 12mins at the rate our government is spending it.

Stamp duty
tabacco Tax
Corporate Income tax
Council Tax
Unemployment Tax
petrol/diesel tax
Inheritence Tax
Alcohol Tax
marriage licence Tax
property Tax
Service charge Tax
Social security

NONE of these existed 100yrs ago and our nation was one of the most propserous in the world.

(CW thought bar the ricketts it made me think )

Anonymous said...

Gays ,broccolli and beanz?????
Are you all trying to wind me up.

Ursus Major

Ernie said...

Quick Question...for holby
How does the Freeman status tie in with the MP prospect?

Both seem illusory...

Anonymous said...

How can it be ok to murder a baby lamb and feast upon its flesh yet unacceptable to make love to it?

Broccoli good yum yum feast upon it then fuck its brains out.

Anonymous said...

Fucking African savages doing what African savages do:

I wonder how your Jewish Troll, "Stan" will defend this cold blooded slaughter?

Old Holborn said...

"Quick Question...for holby
How does the Freeman status tie in with the MP prospect?"

You wouldn't believe the fun I can have as a Freeman in Parliament.

Not ONE of their "acts" applies to me.

caesars wife (dixon of dock green edition) said...

CW now understands why the lib dems are so afraid of Ken Clark !

With conservative guns popping up on the theater , Lord mandelson taking full control of Labour election plan citing it will be a contest between BIg brained ruin and plastic wobbley Dave .CW thought it was more like austin maxi rust bucket and fire up the quattro . Does this mean wee dougie has been fed to the SMIRSCH sharks then when ruin went into downfall bunker mode at double didgit poll lead ??
I think Daves uni cert is a bit higher than the ruins incase biggest brain is being considered.Unless that is national debt is inversley proportional to brain size!

meanwhile in Glasgow , someone has enquired how pay levels were set for the councillors who ran/sat on the 5 private companies set up by the council (no ones got round to grants yet) , very interesting in that it seems no one was responsible and they could award themselves whatever they liked .

What no question asked , by anyone , sitting on the council even the lib dem , curiouser and curiouser .

As teachers realise how the ruin has ruined education Chris Grayling takes to the police ."tough on crime tough on the causes of crime" remember that one from Imelda .CW is surprised that the police still know what they are supposed to do , generate revenue, fill forms , issue paper ,or regret not becoming a human rights lawyer .

It will be mandy lifeboats if the train gets emptied of gravy , goodness knows if we can get back law abiding in dodge city , by dodge I mean who is responsible , let alone all the simmering other forms of modern day law bending , and info manipulation and fixing.

"The untouchables" the mps being sent to trial for fraud , have applied for legal aid , just to add insult to injury .CW wonders if there is a hemp ropemakers association to see if they can help.

night night

Chuckles said...

What happened to stalking the wild asparagus?

Monsieur Mangetout said...

'tatalitarianisn' - all shall eat potatoes!

Anonymous said...


Oirish said...

Ernie, dftt, it only encourages him. He's already off his meds, and feeding him that kind of line only makes him worse.

caesars wife said...

CW has been handed the ruins podcast script found in a pub in Hackney .

" The economy is in a weak state and cutting too early may make it worse , let me put it this way the Labour government are like professional footballers , we take loads of money , for you to watch us whilst getting drunk .Sometimes we go on real bender useually in a posh hotel , for somthing or other in europe , we probebly smash up a few things like education , take some impressionable girls for a ride in the limo and introduce them to single motherhood concepts . After weve wrecked the place we then ask the fans to cough up by putting an extra fiver on the new seasons kit . But like the Glazers were not just in it for the money "

note to Dan hannan could the theme tune be (commodores) Beacuse your once , twice , three times Mrs Rochester :)

Ron Broxted said...

Two bloggers meet - playing the St Pancras blues.

To London and after a hectic day or two of filming a home-made gay blue film, not surprisingly starring mwah. The title being ".Broxted takes it in every orifice." Afterwards I meet another well known gay blue film actor, Paul. We started our pub crawl (delete, insert trawling for rough trade) at the "Lord John Russell" before wandering to the "Matt Lucas Arms". Paul was on the real ale but I stuck to small white wines at this stage. Paul mentioned that he noticed nobody apart from me seemed to comment on my rambling Indy blog. I explained that although this was true I had over 10,000 hits from all over the world each month. Neither of us managed to pull any guys even in the Admiral Duncan, weep weep, so we strolled or should I say minced to the Wine bar at St Pancras station. P managed to get a quick wank in the gents (lucky boy) I however was fading fast, having spent eight hours being filmed earlier in some very hot anal and facial action. Now be somewhat of an ageing Old Queen, I cannot keep up with the gargantuan arsed paul, and I had a cheeky little glass of French red whilst in the bar whilst lucky paul was being tugged off. Having failed to pull and young twinks, or even old meat I decided to head back to my cheap and squalid B&B.
Finally, I managed to get back to my doss in Earl's Court musing on actually having an enjoyable conversation in the real world and not cyber space. Next blogge "Essex Boys" Why are they so rough. I need gentle.
Stop Press; Have been told that my latest attempt at writing a novel is on par with scribblings of a nine year old special needs schoolboy. The Gay blue film I made will be available soon I hope, on the Grind Channel on sky. Well I have sent it off, if not I will try and flog the other 11 copies on E-bay.
Why cannot I be famous?

D.G.Haslam said...

You could emulate me.

Wavy Gravy said...

David Gordon Haslam. Formerly a constable in the Met. Resigned over child porn charges. Posted his passport as proof of his jet set life on the Daily Telegraph (fucking idiotic or wot?) Member of BNP. Refuses to acknowledge BNP on Torygraph "MyT" site where he is constantly banned. Had nervous breakdown in Dec 07. Wife had an affair at the same time as his Mother died. Lives in Downham Market, Norfolk. Cautioned for "lewd conduct" in public toilets, Kings Lynn, Jan 08. Old Holborn, if you cannot run a website you cannot run a constituency.

Anonymous said...

David Haslam did Ron make you cwy? Not much of an ad for the Herrenvolk are ya? Fnnr fnnr. He can get a book deal but you are outsmarted by Colin and his sidekick! Wot a cunt you are!

Hopalong Heffron said...

Finally faux Ron (alias bent cop D.G.Haslam of Downham Market) why are you such a loser? I bredrin gets a book deal and you? Nowt you nonce. failure is your motif. I see you could not attend Dudley eh? Zimmer frame fucked? Oh well. Even the MyT crowd are fed up of you. All those lies about having a university degree. Minerva's owl Davy.

Anonymous said...

Freeman and MP.

IMO, incompatible if one takes the oath. Taking the oath makes one the holder of an office in trust, and bound to the rules of the trust.

i.e. Statues. said...

The last four comments appear to come from our own resident arsehole and turd burglar little Kevin McEgan/aka Ron Broxted. Surely if you are on a sex offenders register for kiddie fiddling you should be banned from using the Internet?

Ratings and Recommendations by outbrain


Related Posts with Thumbnails