Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Election Budget Appeal

Right, you lot. In my attempt to be completely transparent on expenses etc in the run up to my glorious election (and subsequent storming of the Gates of Parliament. At last. Oh yes), I'm going to let you all know what I intend to spend and how much is in the kitty

So far, the donation button on the right has produced a magnificent total of £2035

This is how I will spend it:

Nomination: £500
Office space for six weeks: £400 (let me know if you can offer me a desk and Wifi any cheaper)
1,000 A3 posters to scare the children: £130
100 V for Vendetta Masks: £500
25,000 A4 flyers: £750

(again, if anyone can do it cheaper, let me know)

Total : £2280

What I want to do as well:

Billboard advert with OH chasing some fat pigs dressed in pinstripe suits for two weeks (audience 27K per day) £1000
Banners, flags, fireworks, T-Shirts and general tomfoolery £500

So I need to raise another £1500 at least to put this campaign on the map. Plus volunteers who don't mind being dressed up in a suit, in a cage, and having rotten fruit thrown at them by the public of Cambridge on a Saturday.

Dig deep, fellow seditionaries and let's see if we can wipe the smug grins off the politicians faces for a change. Just £1 donated will result in a LibDem feeling unwell or a Socialist having to get a proper job and a shave. Every penny counts.


Obnoxio The Clown said...

Shave a Socialist and you shave him for a day, teach him how to shave and you create 487 quangos, from OfShave to the Regional Shaving Development Agency.

It's cheaper to just shoot them twice in the back of the head.

Dick the Prick said...

Soz to be a twat OH but being the prick that I am - do you have a PO BOX that I could send a cheque to rather than all this bollox electronic shite? Hugs & kisses.

Billy Blofeld said...

I'll donate some more.

Anyone got any ideas on how we can scale up the fundraising efforts?

i.e. Won't Guido push this?

I assume Iain Dale won't help ;-)

Anonymous said...

OBO shoot em in the stomach once and stick yer finger in the hole and wriggle it around!(waterboarding is for pussies)

Ampers said...

Sorry OH, on my reduced pension, even £20 was more than I could afford.

But the idea of asking Guido to help isn't a bad idea, although I have to admit he is rather commercial.

Perhaps if you offered to invite him to parliament on a regular basis so he can sniff a round he might help? Can you do that? Is it in the rules?

Anonymous said...

If you invite me to the bar in the House of Cunts when you are elected so I can smoke and drink inside in my own Country for the first time in years I'll leave you some money in my will.

bofl said...

question..why are you standing in cambridge instead of where you live?

i know all the other cnuts do it but
surely that is a good enough reason to stand on your own patch?

Billy Blofeld said...


Maybe you can find a TV production company who will pay you to film a documentary of the first bloggers election campaign?

.... other ideas on funding anyone?

Anonymous said...

Reading this you'd be forgiven for thinking that Pravda were actually *celebrating* the actions of a few hundred wanky, middle-class, Marxist tossers.


For Chris Bambery, 54, the riot was the product of a decade of "cumulative anger" that had built up against Margaret Thatcher's Conservative government."

Fucking cunts.

Vladimir said...

Anon 1510.

Funny thing.. That article could just as easily be about twelve years of Labour rather than ten years of Conservatives.

"a decade of "cumulative anger" that had built up against Blair and Brown's Labour government."

"There was an immense sense of 'them and us' in the Brown years and we felt it was payback time," he says.

"We felt that every part of our lives as working class kids was under attack," she recalls. "The government miscalculated because they thought poor people didn't have a voice."

Anonymous said...

Good luck with this OH. I have made a donation to your fighting fund.

Anonymous said...

I have made a donation under duress. My hatred for LibLabCon is far greater than my disapproval for you.

Anonymous said...

Sorry but Im not dontating my hard earned money to give you a better and yours a better lifestyle.

Fuck your 64K earnings + expenses.

Dazed And Confused said...

I'll happily help you again financially, but that pay pal accounts a pain in the jacksy.

Gendeau said...

A suggestion...

Make a decent job of designing the t-shirt and I'm happy to buy one.

In fact lets have a few designs.

J Demetriou said...

Why not save your money, not bother with the waste of time campaign, and instead concentrate on writing proper articles on your blog?

jez said...

Happy to make a donation. Please would you publish an address I can send the cheque to. Like Dick the Prick I can't cope with all this "electronic bollocks" Plus very important - who to make the cheque payable to.

Anonymous said...

Are you all fuckin mad?, giving a bloke whose EGO is totally out of control, and whose Jury Team friends align themselves with the Christian Right!

Wake up, and smell the shite this guy is giving you.

Sheep/lambs and Wolf comes to mind.

Masked Crusader said...

Jez said... "who can I make the cheque payable to"

Made out to 'CASH' will do nicely.

Anonymous said...

Made a small donation, regardless of anything else your blog has given me more than a few quids worth of entertainment over the last year.

ajikpajik said...

Good luck Old Holburn, I worked for Jury Team during the by election in Glasgow last year. They were good to work for and it was truly the most interesting job I've ever had.

@ anonymous; I've met Paul Judge on several occasions and he didn't come off as an ego maniac at all, even gave my wean sweets when I had to take her to a meeting. And sponsored a volunteers son for nursery.

Hope you do better than John did. :)

Andy said...

Sorry OH, while you remain anonymous, with the mash etc, I won't support you - surely you agree that those we elect must be identifiable to be accountable. So take the mask off and stand on your excellent policies - V is just a cmic book character ..

Joe Public said...

Obo said - "Shave a Socialist and you shave him for a day, teach him how to shave and you create 487 quangos,......"

But with our poor education system, teach him badly how to shave, & with a little luck he'll slit his own throat & save us the trouble.

Old Holborn said...

"Sorry OH, while you remain anonymous, with the mash etc, I won't support you - surely you agree that those we elect must be identifiable to be accountable"

Exactly how is that Media Whore Tony Blair in anyway "accountable"?

Do you really think they are going to let an anonymous masked man into the playground that is the House of Commons?

Tell you what, if they do, you can borrow my pass for the day, grab a mask and go and be me.

That alone must be worth a fiver?

RantinRab said...

Tenner thrown into the pot from me, via the wife's paypal account.

That's about four and a half pints of beer...

stun said...

Same here. A tenner if only to see the embarrassment that OH can cause the other candidates. Worth every penny, I'd say.

extest said...

"Do you really think they are going to let an anonymous masked man into the playground that is the House of Commons?"

No, but they, and by extension you, are quite happy for the plebs to be offered one as a choice.

I don't suppose the starkness of that contempt has entered the logic-free zone that is your skull.

Old Holborn said...

I wondered when you'd show up again extest.

You won't like this. I rang Viki today at the Electoral Office in Cambridge. I can put any name I choose on the nomination and any name I choose on the ballot paper.

Not long to go now....

extest said...

Oh, but OH, I never went away.

Surely you knew that ?

thelunaticarms said...

If it isn't the BNP asking for funds, it's the Jury Team. Can't you do what the other ones do and just take a few bribes???

If I was a rich man... well, I would get the fuck away from every cunt here. If I had a few notes spare, I'd buy a little bit of escapism. Loose change is usually reserved for the Establishment, my aim is improving all the time.

But alas, I'm poorer than dirt.

You're bound to stomp it - just remember, postal votes are key.

Old Holborn said...


The Jury Team take not one penny. ZILCH.

My contribution to the Jury Team has been £25 to join. That's it.

I raise my own funds to be elected. Jury Team gives me nothing other than a nomination (I pay the £500) and some press.

Anonymous said...

'Shave a Socialist and you shave him for a day, teach him how to shave and you create 487 quangos, from OfShave to the Regional Shaving Development Agency.

It's cheaper to just shoot them twice in the back of the head.'

That makes it a Brazilian then Obnoxio

Daed Parrot said...

Re: The pin-striped MPs in a cage event.

An excellent idea, but could it be enhanced if your caged MPs:
- Had big "MP" signs on their backs
- Wore striped "burglar" jerseys under their jackets
- Wore black "burglar" masks over their eyes
- In the event that some volunteers might be a bit shy to appear as caged MPs for all to ridicule, the mask bit might help get more volunteers
- On the other hand, might there be some keen actors, amateur dramatic socities or Cambridge footlights performers who would enjoy taking part in that event.
- There are more well-subscribed am-dram and professional drama performances in Cambridge city (per head of population) than anywhere I've known.

Otherwise I suspect that the many jolly japester students at Cambridge would relish taking part in your events and/or voting for you.

Mental Boo said...

A link of some use perhaps:

thelunaticarms said...

@ Anon 31 March 2010 22:11

PMSL - now that has made my day. Sadly, work will unmake it.

@ OH

All was said in context, no need to be touchy. We know masks and capes are expensive, and the prices for certain chemical compounds are going through the roof thanks to the stoopid yooth of today.

That said, I reckon a poster and leaflet blitz is all that's needed. For who else is there to vote for? Unless a Nationalist is standing of course.

Kit said...

thelunaticarms, if you reckon it is so easy, why not have a go yourself?

But i suppose that would be more effort than bitching from the sidelines at someone who is actually getting off his arse and doing something.

thelunaticarms said...

@ Kit

Hard enough scraping a living together you mong.

Plus, the Nation is fucked and the only solution I can think of is a mass hanging. Not much of a policy to sell the public is it Kit?

So why don't you get back on your high horse and fuck off.

Happy Easter, you filthy animal!

adrian said...

OH is only hiding his face, most of the 646 are hiding their agenda.

trust your instincts.

PS did someone mention

The Christian Right

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