Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Labour Manifesto 1997

Ye gods, there are some howlers in there.

We will increase the powers and responsibilities of parents.

We will promote personal prosperity for all

too much economic instability, with wild swings from boom to bust

The level of public spending is no longer the best measure of the effectiveness of government action in the public interest. It is what money is actually spent on that counts more than how much money is spent.

New Labour will be wise spenders, not big spenders

Save to invest is our approach, not tax and spend.

The promises we make we will keep.

To be fair and be seen to be fair.

New Labour is not about high taxes on ordinary families. It is about social justice and a fair deal.

We will ensure that - over the economic cycle - public debt as a proportion of national income is at a stable and prudent level.

Stop the growth of an 'underclass' in Britain

Every 16 and 17 year-old on the road to a proper qualification by the year 2000

We will be tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime

We will tackle the unacceptable level of anti-social behaviour and crime on our streets

I can't do anymore without a valve bursting. Get stuck in to Labour's 1997 Manifesto, then we can start lynching the bastards. Print this off and stick it near the front door. If a Labour canvasser appears over the next few months(you may have to go out and find one), ram it up their arse.


Anonymous said...

Lying cunts.

Chav said...

I got booted out a skool for bitch slapping a teacher lookin just like im

A fkin8 im n is edukations im doin the bizniz wiv me ome boyz out on the street ,brigin in the dimes n dames $$$$$ cunts!

Hoby wats wiv the face ware? you n ugly cunt or scared o the man wat?

Anonymous said...

The only canvassers by us are BNP,
both Zanulab and Zanucon propagander arrives with the postman!

Sir Archie said...

propaganda DEAR BOY, Propaganda!

Joe Public said...

Filed under "Fiction"

Tuscan Tony said...

My personal favourite:

"The promises we make we will keep."

Write that on a supersized sea urchin and insert rectally into your local Labour candidate

Ron Broxted said...

I know he is a weasel but whenever I see a picture of the old queen I get a terrible boner and just have to spank my monkey until the white wee wee trickles out......Oooh matron.

Fausty said...

Pure doublespeak.

Little did we know that "touch on crime and touch on the causes of crime" meant punishing the victim and treating us all as criminals via CRB vetting and profiling.

Labour is so out of touch that it hasn't even cottoned on to the fact that we've cottoned on to them.

Fausty said...

Oops - "tough", not "touch"!

Ivor Bigot said...

A timely reminder of just how we got into this mess. Any party that promised that lot right now would be swept into power.

Moral: every word they utter is bollocks.

All of them.

Ron Broxted said...

What a fucking nice one, bus fare evasion by another imported Somalian crook.

What is happening with the reluctance of the government to crack down on bleeding dodgy fake asylum seekers. Not happy with picking up two grand a month in benefits for doing fuck all, apart from shoplifting and burglary the fuckers it would appear don't want to pay to ride on our buses. What a fucking liberty. When a Somalian man was found fare dodging. The police arrested him for blagging his bus fare (he offered to pay when caught)crafty cunt. Anyway he was taken to a police station, then photographed, DNA sampled and fingerprinted. We should all be thankful that sensible action by the boys in blue. If his DNA matches a dangerous criminal, such as a filthy raping cockslinger he will be charged and will have no chance of getting off because of the DNA evidence. This is a major advance in helping to bang up filthy raping foreigners who think they can come over here and fuck anything that moves, like in their own country. I say this ever-expanding National DNA database is worth its weight in gold. Compare and contrast to the next largest DNA database, Austria. Serious crimes only, I ask you how are they ever going to catch the immigrant cockslingers? Wakey wakey Austria take a sample off every asylum seeking layabout with a permanent hard-on.
On a more pleasant note I fully recommend my new fav book which takes a look at the men who fuck their pet dogs. Down Patch I'm trying to type.......oh go on then......Grrrrrrr

Hugh First. said...

So Ron you hate Somalians and gay men? Tell us more.

Anonymous said...

That Mandelson is a JOO yes?

Marchamont Needham said...

If somebody could organise a reprint I'd buy 10,000 to put through every letterbox near me!

And I mean it !

Chav said...

Labours gettin my vote,pay for me gaff,bills and even bus fares the cunts,"chronic asthma n learnin difficulties" see,whos the mug?

You mugs carry on givin the man ya dollars n dimes,the man pays me, n wat I makes on the street runnin me bizniz stays in me bizniz,fucking mug cunts!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sounds good, where do I sign?

caesars wife said...

My first reaction was to agree with poster number 1 .

pravda and sci finance also slipped in .

But then I find my self thinking of multi millionair Blair , feeling ashamed of voting for them in 97 and wondering why none of them are in jail .

desperate dave lammy said...


oooh too ronny - if i drop 'round yours we can give him a two gun salute out the sash window. marvellous fur.

british bulldog said...


it's those bloody bent buses ron. ever since red-route ken came up with this swipe 'n ride scam (which was actually his beloved 'fare's fair' by the back-door), the somalians have been flocking to london just to take advantage of the lax fucking transport scheme and jaunt around the city sightseeing in comfy air-conditioned carriages which they never paid for. my grandog fought two world wars so that i could travel in a mercedes omnibus. it's a bloody fucking national disgrace mate. vote bnp and get buffer buses for british bulldogs. or i'll bite yer bollox off.

Anonymous said...

"Marchamont Needham,
If somebody could organise a reprint I'd buy 10,000 to put through every letterbox near me!
And I mean it !"

Sadly, it would appear that 30% of the nation would believe every word.

Climate Scientologist said...

Fucking Righteous Bitch !

Complaint after Cherie Booth spares religious man jail

El-Kevo said...

This is so misleading. Reporters are stating "Improved monitoring by social workers and better communication between health visitors, doctors and police are said to have led to the fall."

Doubt-less the social workers, health visitors, doctors and the police are allowing this misconception to be spread. The simple reason why violent child deaths have fallen 40% since 1975 is that parents no longer let kids out of their sight. We have lost faith in the authorities to protect our kids - and ourselves for that matter.

(Perhaps you could make a feature of this for me please, OH)

Anonymous said...

Every 16 and 17 year-old on the road to a proper qualification by the year 2000" At least 2 bastard kids by fuck and go men a flat and an income for life and fuck working.

thick jets of scalding hot muck, lancing into tony blair's bowels said...

@Complaint after Cherie Booth spares religious man jail

Not so religious as to refrain from violence, though.

richard said...

to my dearest wife,
I know I've been a bad husband but this time it'll be different. I was wrong to kill all those people. 100 million in living memory IS a lot, I admit, and I'm sorry. Likewise the money I stole, what was it again? More than there is in thd world? No worries, I'll pay you back. Let's remember, dearest, good times are almost here, and anyway you might be glad one day because there's bad men out there, oh yes, far worse than me.
All we need to make it better is that one little thing I know you love to do, well it's your hard-won right and a democratic privelege too!
This time things will be better. Things CAN only get better....

Chav said...

@ cry baby-At least 2 bastard kids by fuck and go men a flat and an income for life and fuck working.

So wot the fuck cunt,you carry on givin them cunts y dollars n ill keep tekin em!

am livin nappy bwooy!

Climate Scientologist said...

You've got to hand it to Pravda - they just do not give up, do they ?

Why was it cold in the UK, but not across the world?

Remember comrades - Freedom is Slavery, War is Peace, etc...

Uncle Marvo said...

Who's the twat in the frock?

Right, Holby, you blog about Joos. I'm going over to Marvo's to blog about gays.

See who gets their ass kicked first.

Anonymous said...

"To be fair and be seen to be fair."

"...Labour led the call for an outright ban on all handguns in general civilian use..."

Interesting contradiction.

Antipholus Papps said...

What kind of cunt wears a tie with full ermine? Say what you like about Hitler but at least he had a sense of personal grooming! Plain old Lord Mandelson should know better.

catitus said...


was your grandog old enough to have fought in both world wars?

british bulldog said...


he was so, my good sir - grandog was involved in active combat at the great dogfights of barking and dogenham, where he tragically lost an ear and half his tail. for his bravery in the services of canines, he was posthumously awarded an iron bone.

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