Thursday, 25 February 2010

Idle parenting means happy children

Manifesto of the idle parent

  • We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
  • We pledge to leave our children alone
  • That should mean that they leave us alone, too
  • We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
  • We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals
  • We drink alcohol without guilt
  • We reject the inner Puritan
  • We fill the house with music and laughter
  • We don't waste money on family days out and holidays
  • We lie in bed for as long as possible
  • We try not to interfere
  • We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house
  • We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
  • Time is more important than money
  • Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
  • Down with school
  • We fill the house with music and merriment

Babies should "be given to stupid fat old women who can't be bothered with them… leave the children alone. Pitch them out into the streets or the playgrounds, and take no notice of them." - DH Lawrence

Perfect. Do read the whole article, especially if you have children, a Wii, a BMW and have ever spent good money visiting Disneyland.


Uncle Marvo said...

Oi! Where did you nick my manifesto from?

Anonymous said...

Reading children poetry? Playing music in the house? Wanting to spend time with your children?


Seriously, OH, you are a tool.

I am Stan said...


He is talking a lot of sense,we as a nation do seem to be brainwashed into producing drones for the government to exploit.As you know better than most Holby it is hard to even live an alternative lifestyle than the one government wants you to live.

I am surprised he hasnt got social services or some other government body poking around his familys life,asking questions and making allegations and threats....I expect he will experience a backlash from somewhere...the rightous never sleep....the unblinking eye sees into all our hearts and never likes what it envies and despises.

Anonymous said...

But.... they might climb trees and hurt themselves....!!!

Uncle Marvo said...

Social Services are welcome to poke around my children, provided that they fully understand the consequences.

Can I have some of the hallucinogenic drugs "Anonymous" has been on?

Field Marshall Watkins said...

Anon, there was nothing more fun when I was a kid than giving my mates dead legs and falling off of shit.

Toughens one up say what hwah hwah.

RantinRab said...

What a bloody brilliant article!

lilith said...

Right on.

Anonymous said...

Field Mouse Watkins: That was my point. Kids need to fall off trees to learn. I'm a great believer in Darwin.
...which includes the concept of people enlisting in the military and then getting blown up doing the biddings of Blair, Milliband +chumps. Darwin says they shouldn't have joined.

caesars wife said...

Now your beggining to see how wonk nu labour state control is and always was .

Ivor Bigot said...

Too fucking right, especially working as little as possible. You should see the looks we get when Mrs.B explains that no, she won't be rushing back to work, and yes we'll manage just fine. They usually start off as pitying, then rapidly turn to jealously as the stress and regret takes it toll month after month. Seriously, is a fucking BMW X5 in the drive more important than watching your kids grow? WTF is wrong with these idiots?

Elby the Beserk said...

Spot bloody on. My ex and I believed in a regime of benevolent neglect and have four fine adult children as a result of it.

And the state can FUCK RIGHT out of kids' lives.

Mike Kingscott said...

Great article, thanks for bringing it to my (and other idlers) attention. I am guilty of too much pressure on my son I think, but I am teaching him that the Labour government are all c**ts, Conversatives-lite are not much better, and to always question authority ;-)

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