Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Coming To The UK Next

I am fortunate enough to be in Capetown at present. Here smoking is still an acceptable recreational activity. How far we are following the US into infantile behaviour was demonstrated yesterday when a bunch of American children on the next table on the waterfront started crying and holding their tee shirts over their noses. I rushed over to find out what the problem was, here you are seen as a caring adult rather than a potential paedophile,the eldest girl was spluttering about dying of cancer. One of their parents came over and started shouting at the waitress she was calling the cops and was nearly hysterical.

The problem ? somebody had lit a cigarette up on a nearby table.

In SA they were asked to leave for making a scene, not the smoker carted off in chains.

How long before children are indoctrinated in the UK a slight whiff of smoke means instant death.


Anonymous said...

Lucky old you! And lovely to think of the Americans being asked to leave. Yet another group of people who feel they have the right to force their rules & regulations on the world - no wonder Gordon thinks Obama Beach is wonderful.
Any UK smokers or smoker supporting people here need to start de-indoctrinating any kids they have access to.

Umar Pantsareonfire Abudulmutallab said...

Yes Americans can be a real pain when you start smoking on a plane also. One fucker got me in a headlock and dragged me out my seat and another one started using a fire extinquisher on me. When we landed police swarmed all over the plane and dragged me off. In the general melee my underpants caught fire and my giant Nigerian testicles were left looking like chesnuts roasting on an open fire.

I am Stan said...

In SA they were asked to leave for making a scene, not the smoker carted off in chains.

Hahahahahaha I would loved to have seen the Americans outraged faces as they were shooed away and the smug look on the smokers face as he took a deep satisfying drag.

Glad to hear the Africans getting their priorities right....

Ubusuku obuhle namaphupho amamnandi!hahahahahahah

Ron Broxted said...

Many of my casual male pick-ups object when I light up a ciggie whilst taking them from the rear bare back. One said to me, 'have you any idea of the dangers to peoples health that are caused by secondhand cigarette smoke?' I responded by stubbing my ciggie out on his biffen bridge..........oh the howls of pain as he tried to wriggle free but my muscualar hands still managed to hold onto his love handles and deny him escape.....Oooh matron!

Dick the Prick said...

Fair enough if the smoker was doing blowbacks on recusant kids but otherwise the parents should have just fucked the fuck off and contented themselves with being utter fucks, parents of obese little cunts and sent them off to war for fuck all reason.

All the best Guthrum - have a gud un.

Katie Price said...

Ron Broxted you are a disgusting little turd burglar. I really wish you would keep the intimate details of your depraved sex life to yourself.

Furor Teutonicus said...

DAMN! THAT would almost be a good enough reason to take up smoking my VERY smoky pipe again!!!

TheFatBigot said...

The indoctrination is well underway already.

And who can be surprised? Those who do nothing wrong but are put-upon in so much of their lives by the bossy State need to find reassurance that they are (as they are) perfectly decent people living perfectly decent lives.

The only option they have is to identify lesser beings, "sinners" if you will, against whom they can compare themselves and come out on top.

The constant, mendacious, message is that smokers are a drain on the NHS and kill not only themselves but legions of others. Smokers are the perfect target. As adults are encouraged to treat smokers as lesser beings so children pick-up that message both at home and through State propaganda.

The great irony is that the very people who seek reassurance that they are (as they are) decent people, are forced to adopt indecent tactics of bullying and rudeness towards a minority.

Yet another example of unintended adverse consequences of an over-powerful State machine.

Captain Ranty said...

The V&A waterfront is a great place to be. Especially now, in the summer sunshine. They have some fantastic bars and eating places. All have facilities for smokers. I have yet to see anyone drop dead from a little second hand smoke, but the American kids are a prime example of the risk-averse wankers we are populating the world with. These little freaks will be big freaks in 20 years and will be our leaders. A terrifying thought.

If you get the time, have a wander around the dock to the aquarium. They have some stunning shit in there.

Mooi bly.


gobshite said...

I hope this family stop off in Amsterdam on the way home, and decide to grab a drink in a 'coffee' shop.

It will make those spoilt brats chill the fuck out. And hallucinate!

I still think Cancer is the result of poor gene copying. Smoking may give it a kick start due to all the crap in tobacco, but if you didn't smoke you are probably fucked anyhow.

JD said...

It's almost enough to tempt me back to smoking.

Anonymous said...

Hehehe, excellent!
Remember folks that here in GB it's also a serious offence to drop litter. That means that one HAS TO put the fag out on the no smoking sign, since neither bins nor a place to stub them are provided.

It's quite reasonable for us to have consideration for non smokers but since unknown Kunts have now removed special indoor smoking areas that were already there and are even trying to control where you smoke OUTSIDE, they have stepped over the line.

Anonymous said...

Anyone else noticed years ago it was the "delicious aroma of tobacco smoke" and now it is the filthy smell?
Just a bit of mind conditioning.
Here's a question........
Anyone in the advertising game?
Please answer this.......
Has extreme pressure been brought upon advertisers to show how wonderful multiculturism is? About 50% of bed and furniture ads now show a black man and a white woman lying in bed together or a black man and a white woman jumping on to a sofa ?

Anonymous said...

Re advertising - maybe multiculturism has taken over at advertising companies & the staff are projecting their own fantasies? Think Tiger Woods, think that fuckwit Cheryl Cole is married to.

I am Stan said...

@Anon11:11-a black man and a white woman lying in bed together or a black man and a white woman jumping on to a sofa ?

I shall raise a glass of champers to that.bottoms up.


Of course there are some like the British Nazi Party who would dictate by law who a man or woman could lie with.
the Cunts..hahahaha

Robert Napier said...

Anonymous, we still have a long way to go. Have you ever seen an advert for DFS sofa's where a homosexual male is face fucking his black or white civil partner on one of those 'L' shaped corner sofa's?

Oleuanna said...

@ gobshite 'I hope this family stop off in Amsterdam on the way home, and decide to grab a drink in a 'coffee' shop.'

Now you are talking, the delicate rosebuds would be hospitalised before the check arrived. And lets face it the UK the attitude is as good as here.

SA you say? hmmm? Bumped into Eugène Terre'Blanche yet?

And hey Urban11 (anon). Advertising has come a long way at least the people they are showing are actually black now and not just mixed cultured. But can I ask you... is there something wrong with advertising, actually showing representation of the demographic they are selling to?

Once upon a time in the Sainsburys shops in North London, the 'world food' use to be in the same aisle as the dog food. Would you prefer us to go back to the Aryan adverts?

Dick Puddlecote said...

How satisfying must it have been to witness that. Guthrum, I envy you.

As Ranty said though, kids with such fucked up views of the world around them will be in charge of many a country before too long. In fact, one could say the process has already started considering the dullwitted pricks currently infesting Westminster.

Stephen Fryup said...

Robert Napier aka K McEgan have you tried writing to DFS and offering to do a free advert of the type you so graphically describe? I'm sure their advertising agency would bite your hand/cock off for the opportunity to reach out and touch the 'Pink' pound.

Angry Fucker said...

Recall also that the German "Supermodel" Heidi Klumm is married to and has bred with some cunt who's as black as the ace of. It's the trendy thing to do, innit? Go mixed-relationship and thereby raise your media profile, get more advertising contracts and pocket more loot.
I'm just wondering where I'd stand as a morally-mined bed manufacturer if I vetoed an advert because it showed some coon and a white woman in bed together. My principles would not allow the ad to go out, but could I complain to the Jewish-run advertising agency about their choice of casting without getting myself in the shit? I wouldn't want to be accused of wacism, so it might be safer to just shut up and let the ad go out.....

Anonymous said...

Perhaps in 20 years from now we can afford to get a graduate from Oprah Winfrey's African Leadership Academy for Girls to run Britain for us? All those girls Oprah's churning out will need countries to lead and there ain't enough countries in Africa.

I am Stan said...

Guthrum...may I be so bold as to recommend this fine eaterie,I have not been myself but a mixed race homosexual friend of mine recommended it ...he went there on honeymoon with his husband Juriaaan..

Bascule Whisky, Wine and Cocktail Bar

Premium whiskies available.
Not necessary.
Options available.
Yes. A good variety.
Pub Style
Smart casual.
The Ultimate:
Light and lovely café fare with a killer view of the yacht basin and Table Mountain.

I would also recommend a wee dram or two
of Knights a blended south african whisky with a fruity character ,well balanced medium spicy with intensively fruity notes of ripe banana and a lemony scent of a garden after a summer rainfall,lemony sweet and smooth,good fruity sensation .

Bottoms up!

SO17 said...

My parents took their grandsons to France last year.
When at the campsite swimming pool my dad started to video the two lads frolicking around.
A lifeguard came up and asked my dad to stop filming because someone had complained.
My dad said,
"Bollocks.Get the people who complained to tell me themselves and I will tell them Bollocks as well"

bofl said...

perhaps you should have told them that the u.s is the worlds 4 th largest tobacco producer?

could have sent them completely over the edge!

in the real world nobody in power gives a fuck about whether we get cancer or's just down to whether they have to pay out in damages.........

as for the kids..they are being terrorized every day............

so that they will be compliant imbeciles while the hoons at the top enslave us.

Oleuanna said...

@Angry fucker Yes us coons are cunts..clever cunts.. that are slowly driving you out of your own country and Beige(ing) out the ones that remain...I have seen the colour of London and it's just the right shade of brown.

Why the big horror? Black and white people fuck some of us do it out of pure lust and no payment... It's a bit more believable than anti ageing cream...

catflap said...

White blokes are only in adverts when being shown as lazy/stupid.
'Busy mums' is the catchword which conjours up an image of 'Lazy dad'.
The guy who earns the most money doing a more complex job and probably maintains the family motor, is too stupid to organise fucking car insurance?
Women criticise blokes on shit unimportant issues to maintain this illusion of equality.

I am Stan said...

Oleuanna..your beauty and fierce intelegence stirs within me such longing....I know I am not worthy..but just one look from your deep dark all seeing eyes,one touch from your gentle hands,one kiss from your soft lips and I could die a man blessed with the all the fruits of life only a Godess can ripen....

OldSlaughter said...

And you can shoot fuckers that nick shit over their.

Apart from about 3-400 other reasons it is the perfect place to live.

bofl said...

stan/how about a discussion about why you and Oleuanna are here in the uk?

and i mean a sensible discussion!

why you came here/what you think of the uk/religious views.working etc.......

ps i am not attacking you.......i am just interested in your views.

I am Stan said...

Bofl....My mother and father came here in the 80`s because of my great grandfather on my mothers side who fought with the Brits with distinction in the India Corps and he would always talk of his admiration for the Royals,Churchil,and the British fighting soldier.

They came to the uk because of its freedoms,opertunities and stability,worked hard and still do,pay their taxes and obey the laws..even the stupid ones bless em!...I was born here so see myself as Brit/African even though I have been to the homelands more times than I can thats me in a coconut shell...

phout said...

stan/so what do your parents think of the new shambala?

one thing that gets people angry is all the pc bollocks..apparently we are offensive to foriegners by having a cross of flag flying.......or having 'xmas'........


sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

But haven't you noticed that in adverts even the blacks have got to 'fit in' with whatever the advertisers deem attractive? I mean, they've got to be slim and sexy and cool. I've yet to see an aging Sikh with a pot belly. And I've never seen an Arab or anyone who looks remotely Muslim!

Ron Broxted said...

I personally love multi-cultural Briton being of mixed race myself,one part Irish,one part British and eight parts Mongoloid. The sexual diversity it brings to my Cottaging experiences is wunderbar!!! Last night I had two Poles and a Muslim Cleric. Can you guess which one punched me on the nose and made it bleed?

ukipwebmaster said...

Happy new year to you all:

Simon said...

Have a nice time, OH. It's a fabulous country isn't it? Well it was when I lived and worked there in the early 1980s, at any rate. Pity the blacks are running it now; they've fucked it right up (not surprisingly). Be like Zimbabwe in another 10 years I reckon!

I am Stan said...

stan/so what do your parents think of the new shambala?

one thing that gets people angry is all the pc bollocks..apparently we are offensive to foriegners by having a cross of flag flying.......or having 'xmas'........


Well phout i`ll give it a shot...

Shambala sounds like a good excuse for a party even with all the Greenie issues..why not have a bit of fun..anything that brings communities together for a friendly kneesup works for me..

I have never yet met anyone from a minority who is offended by the St Georges flag or the Union fact for years I had a Jack on my bed room wall next to my Madonna poster..I know of no one who is offended by fact most look forward to it even non Christians celebrate in some way..

It seems to me that there is always someone somewere usually stuck in a back council office who will find offence on behalf of others without actually understanding what those people really find offensive which is usually what most people aggressive thugs etc

unfortunately to be seen standing up for your own traditions and culture has been tagged as racist by some which is nonsense,I know and most people from minorities I believe know also its utter tripe 99 per cent of the time.

PC has been taken too far I think,some people are rude and insulting no amount of regulation will change that,PC has its place in the work place,people should be able to do their job or use public transport without insults or discrimination just because another worker/passenger doesnt like blacks or whites etc but it ends there in my opinion.

Anonymous said...

Personally I prefer foreign ladies over the self-centred fat ugly inbred indigenous bints.

I am Stan said...

Simon..its Guthrum who is in South Africa.

And I doubt youve ever been more than a mile outside your sink estate..

richard said...

anon 11.11 - yes, the former comfortable blue fug in a pub is now "lingering death" - so much for the concept of a house for the public. it clearly isn't one if the guests have to stand outside in the snow. it's the trade's fault - no sign of organisation and defiance, even as their livelihoods vanish.

Anonymous said...

I am Stan,
got a chip on both shoulders have we? There was nothing offensive in my question,yet you found offence.

Ampers said...

The law in South Africa is exactly the same as the law in the UK with reference to smokers. In fact it was established before the UK law.

In Cape Town, you can smoke outside the cafe pub or restaurant but not inside.

Your point is?


Jammer maar ek moet Engels praat as ek het nie die Afrikannse taal vir vyf-en-vyftag jaar gepraat nie.

I am Stan said...

I am Stan,
got a chip on both shoulders have we? There was nothing offensive in my question,yet you found offence.

30 December 2009 15:00

No anon I was not offended I simply stated that I would raise a glass of champers to that situation,your being over sensitive,your comment was not that provocative or thought provoking, and I also pointed out as an aside that the BNP would bring in laws to stop it.....

your question about the inner workings of the advertising industry are not in my field of experience..sorry to takes more than that to offend me..

Not heard from your mate Crap recently!

I am Stan said...

Jammer maar ek moet Engels praat as ek het nie die Afrikannse taal vir vyf-en-vyftag jaar gepraat nie.

Sorry but I must speak English if I did not have the language for Afrikannse-five years vyftag not spoken.


Anonymous said...

I am Stan

"I was born here so see myself as Brit/African even though...."

What's with the African bit?

You're British.

My parents were both Irish. I was born in London. I'm not British/Irish - I'm English.

Get over the black bit, and integrate.

Captain Ranty said...


I was drinking (heavily, is there any other way?) at the V&A dock less than 12 months ago. I smoked inside at least four bars. (Separated by glass partitions, yes, but definitely inside).

How fresh is your info, meneer?


JuliaM said...

"In SA they were asked to leave for making a scene..."


I am Stan said...

@Anon16:14 Get over the black bit, and integrate.

I`m very much integrated thank you and I have no intention of ignoring my roots or family history, and I shall call myself a reptilian humanoid if I want to, so you get over that!

Ampers said...

Captain Ranty,

Things seem to have changed, been three years since I was there, and definitely no smoking inside then. The police are being paid too well, by the bar owners :-)

Stan, your interpretation of the language is opretty good but not quite correct, vyf-en-vyftag is fifty-five years.

I only spoke English from age fifteen but, yes, consider myself English now, but not British.


Captain Ranty said...


The police, (and anyone in a uniform, really) take corruption to a whole new level. That goes for all 54 nations in Africa.

I routinely bribe my way in, and back out of several West African countries.

Anything can be bought. Anything.

I was offered a brand new AK-74 at the bar of my hotel in Lagos. In Luanda I was offered a nine year old girl. To keep. Both were offered for less than $10.

You will be relieved to hear that I declined both.


sconzey said...

Reminds me of one of my favourite yank comedians, the dry wit David Sedaris:

vervet said...

For a change from the V&A you should go to the Chapman's Peak Hotel and have the seafood platter.

Also have breakfast at the Mount Nelson hotel (perhaps you are staying there ?) - best in the world.

I am Stan said...

@Captain Ranty-I was offered a brand new AK-74 at the bar of my hotel in Lagos.

I`d love to own an AK-74...not to be confused with the 47.
The AK-74: ("Kalashnikov automatic rifle model 1974") is a 5.45mm assault rifle developed in the early 1970s in the Soviet Union. It was developed from the earlier AKM (itself a refined version of the AK-47) and introduced in 1974.

Accessories supplied with the rifle include a 6H4-type bayonet, a quick-loading device, three spare magazines, four 15-round stripper clips, maintenance kit, cleaning rod and sling. The bayonet is installed by slipping the muzzle ring around the flash hider and latching the handle down on the bayonet lug under the front sight base. The rifle fires the intermediate 5.45x39mm M74 rifle ammunition that includes the jacketed, steel-core 7N6 bullet, 7T3 tracer round and a blank cartridge.


Ampers said...

vervet: Also have breakfast at the Mount Nelson hotel (perhaps you are staying there ?) - best in the world.

Agrreed, apart from that awful pink :-)

Captain Ranty said...


The only accessories the guy offered was a full magazine. 30 rounds, I believe.

It was nowhere near enough. Where would I find the other 616 rounds in rural Scotland?!


Clive said...

We've already got cancer of the statute.

vervet said...


Get enough Buck's Fizz & Oysters down through a nice long breakfast and the colours don't seem to matter any more !

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