Sunday, 1 November 2009

When leeches shriek.

Miss Harman reacts to the expenses report.

(original drawing dragged screaming from
here and uploaded with no supper)

"It's so unfair!" Little Harriet beat her fists against Tommy Legg's chest. "I hate you I hate you I hate you!" She fell to the floor and thrashed her arms and legs, screaming through spittle while her face ranged from red to purple. "I won't do it. I won't."

Tommy Legg raised his eyebrows. "Now, Harriet, if you're not a good girl, I'll take away your second doll's house and give it back to the people who paid for it. You wouldn't like that, now would you?"

Is that how our ministers like to see themselves? It's how they look from down here in pleb-land. Fully aware that the public despise them for the years of fraudulent opulence they have lived, well aware that a large and growing number would like to see them not only ousted from office, but tried in court too, still they scream and blubber and show reactions worthy of a two-year-old who has just been denied a Curly Wurly before tea.

Little Spoiled Harriet, all pigtails and pouts, has decided that the report exposing their rapacious appetites for other people's money can be shelved until it's been watered down. She sees no reason why her family should not be able to tap into the endless fount of taxpayer's cash along with her and she's going to stamp her little feet until she gets her way. Her gang all feel the same way too.

She really needs to catch up with her history homework, although I suppose history was pretty much banned twelve years ago.

Miss Harman said Ipsa will have to be sure that MPs ‘can both be in their constituency as well as in Westminster’.
She added: ‘No one wants to get back to a situation where MPs were sent to Westminster and then they said to their constituents “see you again in five years”.

A quote comparing modern times, when you can get from Aberdeen to London in a matter of hours by train, to the times when that same trip took weeks by horse and cart. How many people, from all over the country, have been expected to attend a business meeting hundreds of miles away with no provision for overnight stay? That sort of thing is not for Harriet. Oh dear no. Bed and breakfast? Perish the thought! She needs a whole extra house for her trips and the whole family on the payroll so they can come with her. We have these special things called 'trains' these days, Harriet, and MPs have among the few salaries that can still afford to use them. You don't have to wait for the horses to get their breath back any more.

MPs are furious at the prospect of having to sell their second homes and move into rented accommodation. Some warn it will make it impossible for all but the wealthiest MPs to have their families with them in London.

My brother often has to spend time in other cities, sometimes abroad, as part of his job. He cannot take his family with him and has no option to add them to his expenses at all. If he tried, he'd be sacked at once. Why are MPs special in this regard? It's not like jury service. You don't have to take the job.

Others warn that women MPs could be forced to travel long distances back to their constituencies on late night public transport.

Women from all walks of life have to travel long distances after work, in the dark, on late night public transport. Why is an MP more valuable than any of those women?

Perhaps if MPs had to take the midnight meat train once in a while, it might spur them into thinking that perhaps they should consider dispensing with all those targets and forms and let the police actually do their job. Perhaps they would realise just how dangerous their imported and home-grown feral gangs have become. Ah, but they do realise. That's why the idea that they should have to take the same trains as the proles fills their hearts with fear and their trousers with soil. If they can't avoid the problems, they might have to do something about fixing them and they really have no idea where to start. Avoidance is easier, and easier still when those who risk the journey every day have to pay for the MPs safe haven.

As for the family business of being an MP, well, Harriet puts on her darkest pout and clenches her fists. Nepotism cannot be made retrospectively immoral even though it already was. This 'socialist' believes that power sharing should extend only to those of the correct breeding. You can't start letting the plebs in. No, the dynasty must endure.

‘I think if they are going to suggest something it should be for the future, they can't simply say “you have all got to be made redundant”.’

Why not, Harriet? We're saying it about every MP in there, why not their inbred personnel departments too?

The very fact that MPs, and especially Labour ministers, are still worried about this suggests two things. One, that they really don't understand what is comng for them in May, and two, that they care absolutely nothing for what any of us think.

Even Charles the First wasn't this much out of touch. It didn't end too happily for him. Harriet, best get back to that history homework. Soon you'll be tested on it.


Anonymous said...

No doubt Harridan Harperson is secure in the knowledge that come next May, Cuntish McSnot will either announce that elections are banned or NuLiebore will have discovered a way to clone a Labour postal vote for every non-Labour, non-postal vote. They will only be driven from that trough they have lived in for twelve & a half years by firearms or pickaxe handles.

bofl said...

leg iron-nice piece.......

but why have you and everyone else been so slow on the uptake?

99% of our mps are delusional egocentric lying cheating fuckwits with ZERO interest in the country,the people or anything else except lining there own pockets.......

this piranha faced loony is so interested in democracy that she actually got her own law passed last year-sidesztepping a vote in the hoc!

a woman so in touch with her beloved contituents that she wore a stab vest on a stroll through peckham!!!!!!

i believe she had quite a low majority at the last GE so with a bit of luck she will be out if they dont rig the vote.....

all of the dishonourable members are now wriggling like mad to keep the money they STOLE.........

they surely are trying to make themselves the most hated group of people in the uk.

Tarquin said...

bofl - it is strange people have only just picked up on this, perhaps it's the first time they have really been exposed as trying to wriggle out of this - before we thought we had them and there were just a few old gits whinging, now Brown and Hattie are getting in on it out in the open, bit of a gaffe on their part really

These are some quite ludicrous statements, why can't they rent? I would be quite happy for them to spend taxpayers cash on rentals (capped), I just don't want them making any money off expenses by making profit off taxpayer funded personal investments

and I'll tell you about 'ordinary people' in parliament - take the oligarchs in labour and the tories completely off the ballot and just stick ordinary people in, and see if they can handle a top 10% salary, travel expenses, a free second home, or a free commute to london 2/3s of the year for a four day week

swinging for doggers said...

Has Jaqui decided whose husband she is going to swap Richard Timney for ?

Anonymous said...

They could always go on strike. At least then the public would realise they are of far less value than a postie.

beness said...

I thought MP's were on strike for half of the year.

Anonymous said...

David Wilshire, the disgraced Conservative MP, has compared the treatment of politicians over their expense claims to the plight of Jews in Nazi Germany.

Gordon Brown said...

I would pay good money to change her nappy!!!!

Anonymous said...

Rogerborg said...

>why have you and everyone else been so slow on the uptake?

Uh... I'm not sure who this "everyone else" is. Most regulars here are quite aware that Parliament is stuffed with Robber Barons whose primary goal is to stuff their dynastic coffers from the public purse.

All that's changed is that they've finally been caught with their hands a little deeper in the till than most of their loyal voters expected.

And after making the right noises about "reform" - grudgingly, in some cases - Harridan is leading the charge to whitewash the whole tedious affair and get back to business as usual.

I expect when you're already as widely despised as Ms Hormone, you can hardly make things worse for yourself by such bouts of honesty. I have to admire her(*) for taking one for the team like this. Now the other Robber Barons can cry "Oh, bad show! How outrageous! But, actually, she does have a point..."

(*) When I say "admire", I do of course mean "Take a dump in her cold water tank, given half a chance. In all of her houses."

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