Tuesday, 17 November 2009


I know that the State has a morbid fascination with data. It goes hand in hand. You can't fully control what you don't understand and they so desperately want to understand us.

I was quite amazed to find out that Schools are now being told by Local Community Health services to send out questionaires to parents asking if their 5 year old children:

"often lies or cheats": whether they steal or bully; and how often they eat red meat, takeaway meals or fizzy drinks.

However, the interrogation is not limited to intimate details of a child’s health. Parents responding to the survey are asked to provide details about their health and their partner’s health, whether they or their partner are in paid employment, and even to own up to whether or not their child is upset when they (the parent) returns to a room.

Read the whole thing, whilst I go and have a lie down for a bit.


bofl said...

an acquaintance of mine told me that his daughter (11) has been given a dial which has levels of drinking on it....the children are taught to inform the teachers on the amount of alchohol their parents consume!!!!!!

sorting out the bad fathers!!!!!!!
apparently this is being 'taught ' in 'citizenship' classes in south east essex!!!!!!!!

ask around and try to get one of these 'dials'!!!!!

The Beast of Clerkenwell said...

I will get one of these forms and fill it in.
Dad drinks two bottles of wine each night, beats mummy, makes me sleep in the cellar when I have been bad and then snorts cocaine off a whores tits as I cry myself to sleep.
Should be fun as I dont have any children

Chris said...

In all boxes enter: NYDB (Not Your Damn Business)

Demetrius said...

At the age of five I was widely known as "that b....y child". Today I would be marked for life. As the years have passed I am now known as "that b....y man" so things can change.

Anonymous said...

sending out questionairs !! deary deary me In jockland they get the teachers to spy and question the children from the moment they arrive in school and most parents dont know that and that personal information on them is being harvested from their children

Bill said...

"The Review asks parents to indicate whether their child "often lies or cheats": whether they steal or bully"

Obviously trying to identify future Labour Party leadership material.

mungle said...

Little will be said or done about this abuse. Apparently the burning qestions of the day are Jedward and Katie Prices tit's in the jungle. If this stuff had been mooted say twenty years ago I would have sworn that no government would get away with it. How I would have over estimated the great British public.

.243 Win said...

Go for the 'full house' approach.

Fill in form as per the Beast's method @ 14:21 then complete the "Ethnicity" section as :

"Other : White, English (Armed)".

Yup, I'm a minority....

Anonymous said...

Just out of interest, is this blog still Leg Iron or did OH come back?

Oldrightie said...

Wait until The EUSSR get into their Federal stride.

Rogerborg said...

>In jockland they get the teachers to spy and question the children from the moment they arrive in school

Hmm, I'll grill Kid #1 on that, although he may already have been prepped to avoid the question.

I wonder if the Stasi would still be in business if they had had 21st century database systems?

caesars wife said...

last four questions ?

52: Have mummy and daddy talked about voting conservative if so ring us immediately.

53: When making pictures out of macaroni does your teacher interfere with your picture of a circle of eleven stars

54: have any pictures or articles by Ed Balls been defaced by teachers .

55 Have you had tutition yet on completeing a postal vote form

JuliaM said...

"...apparently this is being 'taught ' in 'citizenship' classes in south east essex!!!!!!!!"

South East Essex?

Blimey, what happens when they are asked, and they simply spin the dial like a Catherine Wheel?

Steve Libertine said...

@ Mr Clerkenwell.

Tout. I'll fill out my own form thanks.


sickofit said...

My friggin god!

The Home Office has spent nearly £230,000 a day on developing ID cards and biometric passports so far this year, a total of £216million since April 2006.



Dick Puddlecote said...

Spot on, OH.

What's more, we, the poor public, aren't allowed to get involved in the horse-trading prior to the guidelines being set in stone.

I know, because I asked if I could become one of the stakeholders.

The public are too inconvenient for such a thing, apparently.

Accountable government in action, Labour-style.

Newgates Knocker said...

Spin the dial! It must be Edd's new gimmick, my seven year old came home with the healthy eating "snack swapper" wheel. I'm still wondering how many under tens have been convinced to swap a bag of crisps for a rice cake?
My guess is not many, because they taste like shit!
And it was handed out by a headteacher who is fat enough to have her own postcode. Hypocrisy! It's what they do best!

Anonymous said...

Thank Christ my kids are grown up & my grandchildren do not live in the UK! Seems best to either refuse to complete the form at all but if you're scared of doing that - fill it in with a pack of lies. One of my dogs (who is currently registered to vote) received an 'anonymous' survey form from the local Plod. Since I couldn't be arsed to fill it in, I binned it - next thing - post card from Plod to my dog 'you do not appear to have returned.......'. 'Anonymous' my arse! Post card followed the same disposal method as the original form.
My neighbour didn't bother to fill in his voting card thingy as he can't be arsed to vote since he considers them all to be cunts & shysters. T'other weekend - great banging on his door - leaned out of an upstairs window - 'Watch what you're doing to my door, what the fuck are you making that noise for'? 'We're (2 of them) from X Council, the voting details from this property have not been returned & we need to know who lives here'. 'Fuck right off' - slams window. Officialdom isn't popular on my street.

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