Thursday, 19 November 2009

BREAKING: Leaked UK government plan to create "Pirate Finder General" with power to appoint militias, create laws

A source close to the British Labour Government has just given me reliable information about the most radical copyright proposal I've ever seen.

Secretary of State Peter Mandelson is planning to introduce changes to the Digital Economy Bill now under debate in Parliament. These changes will give the Secretary of State (Mandelson -- or his successor in the next government) the power to make "secondary legislation" (legislation that is passed without debate) to amend the provisions of Copyright, Designs and Patents Act (1988).

What that means is that an unelected official would have the power to do anything without Parliamentary oversight or debate, provided it was done in the name of protecting copyright. Mandelson elaborates on this, giving three reasons for his proposal:

1. The Secretary of State would get the power to create new remedies for online infringements (for example, he could create jail terms for file-sharing, or create a "three-strikes" plan that costs entire families their internet access if any member stands accused of infringement)

2. The Secretary of State would get the power to create procedures to "confer rights" for the purposes of protecting rightsholders from online infringement. (for example, record labels and movie studios can be given investigative and enforcement powers that allow them to compel ISPs, libraries, companies and schools to turn over personal information about Internet users, and to order those companies to disconnect users, remove websites, block URLs, etc)

3. The Secretary of State would get the power to "impose such duties, powers or functions on any person as may be specified in connection with facilitating online infringement" (for example, ISPs could be forced to spy on their users, or to have copyright lawyers examine every piece of user-generated content before it goes live; also, copyright "militias" can be formed with the power to police copyright on the web)

Mandelson is also gunning for sites like YouSendIt and other services that allow you to easily transfer large files back and forth privately (I use YouSendIt to send podcasts back and forth to my sound-editor during production). Like Viacom, he's hoping to force them to turn off any feature that allows users to keep their uploads private, since privacy flags can be used to keep infringing files out of sight of copyright enforcers.

This is as bad as I've ever seen, folks. It's a declaration of war by the entertainment industry and their captured regulators against the principles of free speech, privacy, freedom of assembly, the presumption of innocence, and competition.

This proposal creates the office of Pirate-Finder General, with unlimited power to appoint militias who are above the law, who can pry into every corner of your life, who can disconnect you from your family, job, education and government, who can fine you or put you in jail.

More to follow, I'm sure, once Open Rights Group and other activist organizations get working on this. In the meantime, tell every Briton you know. If we can't stop this, it's beginning of the end for the net in Britain.



Anonymous said...

Mandelson is a complete fucking tool. A Bilderberg stooge, a corrupt, devious, narcissistic tyrant.

I'm beginning to think the world would be a better place if someone put a bullet between his eyes.

Anonymous said...

Do we know how much money has been transfered from the music "industry" into the Labour party funds recently (or promised)???

Grinningsadist said...

You could have changed *some* of the words from the article instead of just copypasta.

Marchamont Needham said...

Fuck the music industry. They're a bunch of grasping thieves operating a monopoly.

They've even forced my barber to buy a license to listen to his own radio.

Anonymous said...

Mandelson could at least try to disguise how corrupt he is.

phingaz said...

That would be Peter Mandelson who enjoyed the hospitality of David Geffen this summer.

David Geffen: Suck my balls! said...

Could Mandelson be any more corrupt?

Even if he tried?

A greedy, manipulative weirdo that really should be in a padded cell.

In a parliament of scoundrels, spivs, and troughers, he has to be the worst of this parliament, perhaps of every parliament.

I hope he gets severe constipation, and his Frankenstein arse gets blasted into another dimension, Itchy and Scratchy style!

If only 'call me Dave' was made of sterner stuff. Putting these jokers on trial for Treason would be so popular, it would keep the Tories in power for the next 50 years!

Sir Henry Morgan said...

Pirate -finder General?

Well if it's open warfare they want ... I will NOT be picked on.

War it will be.

Captain Haddock said...

Hows about someone finding & appointing a "Slime-finder General" with powers to seek, apprehend & publicly behead corrupt politicians ? ..

I hereby make application for the post .. Have own sickle & will sharpen in anticipation of employment ..

Sir Henry Morgan said...


A hack saw might be more entertaining if it's to be public.

Personally I prefer a hatchet.

Billy Blofeld said...

This is the most worrying thing I have heard, amongst a vast heap of bad news stories...... seriously...

It sounds to me like Mandelson is creating a Digital Stasi.

Personally I don't intend to take this from Mandelson either sitting down - let alone up the arse.

It is time to man (and woman) the barricades.


Field Marshall Watkins said...

Wow, just fucking wow. This sounds like textbook fascism.


What the fuck does it take for people to wake up?

.243 Win said...

Ever seen legislation misued ? RIPA and Council wheelie-bin stasi anyone ?

So Mandlescum wants the power to make secondary legislation to amend the provisions of Copyright, Designs and Patents Act (1988).

How long before the kleptomaniac state decides to introduce a secondary amendment to the effect that the State holds the copyright and design rights to everything that's been registered or published ?


sickofit said...

What the fuck does it take for people to wake up?

Getting Ant and Dick to expose Mad Mandelson, probably!

Old Holborn said...

I'm glad some of you realise that this is serious. Very serious.

This is the equivilent of govt mobs burning the printing presses.

Anonymous said...

What a bloody frightening mess. The rot has been allowed to set in for too long. It won't be easy getting rid of Mandelson.

David Geffen - All your acts are too crap to steal, but you are still a cunt. said...

Walk the plank Mandy, ye scurvy Dog!


Hoist the Mainsail Seaman Staines and lets go a-pirating!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shiver me timbers.


VotR said...

Ahh, Mandy. All you need to master now is the manical laughter and wild eyes to signal the madness of power that is gripping you and has quite gone to your unelected head.

Let it go, it is too big for you.

Katabasis said...

To paraphrase:

"You wouldn't download a car".

Well maybe I would now, right onto Mandlescum's head.

Joe Public said...

Can't you get hold of a pirated copy, & publish it?

Billy Blofeld said...


Not wishing to distract from the big story you have here....

......but given Harriet Harman is to be prosecuted - if you are writing a post on that subject - you might be interested in her views on sentencing:

"And sentencing too, is vital for public confidence. If a sentence is lenient – it needs to be explained. The opportunity is there for magistrates and judges to thank those in the agencies and the victim and witnesses for the part they have played in bringing the offender before the courts. That can be irrespective of the verdict and whether or not those referred to are physically there in court. Above all, sentences need to be explained. Particularly if it is lenient.

But if there is an unjustifiably lenient sentence in the Crown Court which will undermine public confidence, the Attorney General and I can, and often do, refer the case to the Court of Appeal for the sentence to be increased."

All necessary links on my blog to the source article on her website

Anonymous said...

and you can bet your boots it´ll be shit skin with a gun?
the lads are away fighting and we will be left with a sock on the top of the stairs after spending your money on a whore

GCooper said...

Remind me who voted this piece of excrement into office...?

Undoubtedly the most evil government this country has ever suffered under.

Ron Broxted said...

I have to admit I don't like what peter mandleson stands for politicaly, but I have to be honest the Prince of Darkness gives me a real boner when I see him on telly. Ooooh matron!!!

Phoenix said...

No, I wouldn't download a car. But I might share it with others. In fact the government is practically ordering me to do so in the name of traffic control and fuel saving.

There are two points here: the first is that if you invest in a product, understand the effing product, and it's users. Music and story has from the dawn of time been about sharing. If you don't like it, don't bloody make an industry of it. Calling it an industry doesn't make it like any other. The characteristics of every industry are defined by their product or service. Business 101. Don't whinge. End of matter.

The second point is what it is being used for. I think we're all ready to scream every time a new attack is mounted on civil liberties on the bogus grounds of 'Prevention of Terrorism', by the terrorists themselves. Well this is no less cynical. In the name of stopping us sharing stories and music (which beggars belief in the first place) they are attempting to control free speech, communication, and most importantly for them at this time - the internet.

Every space where people might meet and freely exchange ideas (perhaps over a pint) is being reduced, controlled, shut down. But cyberspace is the real thorn in their side. Sites like this - look how quickly real news can be disseminated. They *hate* it.

If we lose this we lose everything. Because, with over 600 administrative agencies now having access to your communication, they'll find some pretext to shut us all down if they have the means as well as the access.

My honest question, ladies and gentlemen, is how do we effectively do that?

Fausty said...

Do Sun readers know?

Will the Tories scrap this legislation?

This c*nt has always spoken about the post-democratic society. He will have had a major hand this legislation.

I feel a bloody revolution coming on. The Yanks are in the process of gearing up for one. I just wish we had people with such balls in this country.

Stoneham said...

Fake Ron 19.47. You always comment about gay male oral sex, is this a particular affectation? Indeed your baloney on the My Telegraph site as Man With A Can/Alamo/Sigourd/Morris/Bryan/Proud to be gay/Ross Camp is amusing solely as you expect otherwise intelligent folks to believe you are a "multi-millionaire in Dubai". This place though, sheesh. Sedition? Don't be fucking asinine half of you are plod-BNP supporting Ras Clarts. I Am Stan ploughs a lonesome furrow. Finally Barry 19.47a lifetime ban on the Indy plus you are a baby. That is to say small and full of shit. Very small and really full of shit.

Captain Haddock said...

Mangeldbum will come a cropper .. he's done so before & will undoubtedly do so again .. his type always do .. they overreach themselves & "wallop" ..

sconzey said...

Beginning of the end for the internet maybe... or the beginning of a very lucrative "pirate internet" ^_^

You say "unjust legislation" I say "business opportunity!"

Anonymous said...




Katabasis said...

Some much needed light relief here

Ron Broxted said...

Fausty I would be only to pleased to put my one remaining testicle at your disposal. To the barricades.

Anonymous said...

Time for a political assassination I think. Or should that be 'arseassination' in Mandy's case?

Road_Hog said...

Old news, nothing to do with Mandy, already signed off by Obama and the EU and just about everybody else.

Click here

First two links, show you the EU has already agreed it. This is the first wave attack on blogging free speech.

Alamo Cocktrumpet. said...

TUG the concensus on the Torgraph is that you have NO Balls! Finally that you resemble a baby, bald, toothless, chubby, in need of potty training and full of shit. "Dear God, put a Pampers on him or he will cover us in shite!" (Hamlet, Act 2, Sc 3).

H said...

OT = but I've just got back from the pub - cos I like going to the pub.
But got involved in a conversation there where one of the guys thinks that its only the brits who dislike Gordoom!
He believes that everyone else on the planet - from Merkel to Obama - rate our glorious leader.! Not only that - but he believes Gordoom actually knows what he's doing!!!!!!!

I find this very scary - that someone I think of as reasonably intelligent can be so stupid! If he thinks like that - what about the really think people in society!

I'm scared - really scared.

Ron Broxted said...

Peter Mandleson I find strangely attractive as I said earlier. Is it the power that he wields or is it my frequent dreams of him naked except for a cowboy hat stood over me? I know that I should not have these pleasurable feelings but I can't help myself. I might write a blog on the subject on the Indy. Remember it is easier to build a police state than dismantle one. To the barricades, but please do not hurt Peter he is soooo sweet.

A B Gordon said...

Ron Broxted this is a serious political forum where things of great importance are discussed. I therefore suggest you fuck off and take your gay fantasies and stick them up your no doubt slack arsehole.
You cocktrumpet.

Knockoff Nigel said...

I wouldn't download a car.

But I would steal one.

Chalcedon said...

And here was I thinking collective punishment was illegal.

I'm sick and tired of government snopping on privacy.

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