Friday, 9 October 2009

Nobel Dynamite.

I didn't know until today that Alfred Nobel, in whose honour the Nobel Peace Prize is granted each year, invented dynamite.

Past winners have worked hard for their laureate. Henry Dunnant dedicated his entire life to setting up the Red Cross. Eventually he got 'half a Nobel peace prize.'



Woodrow Wilson founded the League of Nations. He spent years lecturing on the evils of war and was only reluctantly forced to make war after 4 American ships had been sunk. He got a Nobel Peace Prize for securing the adoption of the Covenant of the League of Nations.


Henry Kissinger had to share his Nobel peace prize with the Democratic Republic of Vietnam. Quite right too, takes two to tango.


Mother Theresa spent a lifetime amongst the dregs of Calcutta society, enduring visiting celebrities and other horrors.



Archbishop Desmond Tutu once spent the night in a dire Merthyr Tydfil hotel - I know, the room still bears a plaque to that effect. Positioned directly over the pool table, with a bed that felt as though it was filled with pool balls, he probably didn't get any more sleep than I did.


Nelson Mandella and Frederik de Klerk got half a Nobel each for finally speaking to each other.


Worthy winners all.



Can anyone tell me what "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples" the still 'wet behind the ears' Obama has achieved in his eight months of Presidency?


Stopping the rest of the G20 from stuffing Gordon 'I saved the world' into a rubber boat and setting him loose on the high seas?


Edited to add: It gets worse - he was nominated after being in office for all of two weeks.


51 comments:

Billy Blofeld said...

We all know the answer. He's a black president. It looks good to give him the award. End of.

Now I'll have to make an unreserved Bruce Forsyth apology..........

The Economic Voice said...

That must have been one huge brown envelope job. How else could he have been nominated let alone given the prize.

This is a total travesty. The Nobel Peace prize has now been devalued to 'junk' status, just like the US and UK economies.

Andy Arbuthnott said...

Obama has realizes that Britain is a worse bet than Cuba under Batista or Vietnam in 1974. The U.S are beginning to withdraw. Never mind, Ilse Saxe-Coburg has an aircraft on standby I am sure she'll give you guys a lift as far as Canada, eh.

Anonymous said...

Yasser Arafat! The world's favourite terrorist got one in 1994
Perhaps if Hitler is still alive....
Urban11

Quiet_Man said...

Yes, it all went downhill after Arafat got the prize, he even turned up in his military fatigues to get it making the "Peace" part of it a total farce.

Stop Common Purpose said...

I just vomited.

Tony Bliar said...

Where the fuck is my prize ?

Bugger Lugs said...

Well, so far, he hasn't started a war.

This is itself is not bad going in recent years.

But does it qualify under the heading peace?

'fraid not.

What is next, my old granny for Pope?

Anonymous said...

Not 8 months of his presidency, the nominations closed on February 1st!

Anonymous said...

It's compensation, the BBC didn't give him a poetry prize.

Mugabe for nobel peace prize next year please said...

I see he has decided to celebrate by bombing fuck out of the moon.
At least it can't fight back I suppose. Apart from changing high tide times by a few minutes.

Anonymous said...

Worthy winners all." Is that a fact in my opinion none of them are worth a wank.Henry fucking Kissinger,
Agnesë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu Albanin fucking fraud see what Hitchens thinks of the cow as for Nobel he managed to stabilise nitro glycerine by sticking it in inert clay therefore allowing death and destruction on a scale never before imagined.

Anonymous said...

" When Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1973, the distinguished musical satirist Tom Lehrer decided that he could no longer perform. "It was at that moment that satire died," says Lehrer, "There was nothing more to say after that."

Anonymous said...

I just heard this on the Obama-channel news (CNN). Wolf Blitzer just wet his pants with excitement. It's sad, it's just sad. America needed a super-hero, so we created one, and the world jumped on the bandwagon. CNN's organ is certainly throbbing yet again today for their wonderboy.

Kevin Boatang said...

"I didn't know until today that Alfred Nobel...invented dynamite"

You're a moron.

Anonymous said...

As World Statesman of the Year Award has already been bestowed on Brown,Obama will have to make do with a consolation prize.
What's left in the trophy room for Blair?

knackered old shit said...

I thought everyone knew about Nobel inventing dynamite. Maybe we got taught more in the 60's.

NWO said...

Damn those at the UN i said an oscar for obama not nobels peace prize.

Rightwinggit said...

It's better than gunpowder, OH.

Oleuanna said...

I think it goes to show just how desperate and possibly fearful the international community are. This is obviously a bribe for him not to venture to his fundamentalist muslim side and take over the world...

Encourage the coconut element....it will keep him from going to the dark side..

*grins*

The 5th Horseman - Lulz said...

Clinton (bastard that he is) would have had much more of a shout for the Good Friday Agreement.

Obama has achieved NOTHING!

Bringing peace to the Middle East (LOL!) would earn him one, but like fuck is that going to happen.

His Muslim loving activities have also pushed Israel much closer to bombing Iran before it has a viable Nuke! If that happens, the Middle East will explode, and could very well kick off WW3, with India and Pakistan likely to join in the fun, as well as Iran teaming up with Iraqi friends to go on a road trip to Israel.

A few blown up Oil Refineries will add to the mayhem, and make an already dire financial situation get FUBAR.

And people hate Bush?

He does deserve some prize though for giving Gordon all those shitty DVDs!

The 5th Horseman - Lulz said...

But, forget all that.

There is a town in Turkey called BATMAN!

JohnW said...

Yasser Arafat! The world's favourite terrorist got one in 1994
Perhaps if Hitler is still alive..

Anonymouse 12:55


He was nominated in 1939, funny enough.

SO17 said...

God forbid Obama gets shot in Memphis.
Let him slide into obscurity as the 150th odd most mediocre President of the USA.

Dr Evadne said...

Presumably we can now expect to see the editor of The Star get the prize for literature.

Road_Hog said...

Is it 'cause I is black?

Anonymous said...

Anna = whining cunt

Anonymous said...

JohnW.
Stalin and Mussolini also got nominated! Fuck me gently!
Urban11

bofl said...

obama seems to have sorted out afghanistand pakistan...they are all having a big love in.......

how many people killed every day?

just what do the 'righteous' take in the morning?

horse tranquiliser?
rat poison?
or bribes?

Anonymous said...

The Nobel peace prize is only given in his honour because he pays for it.
He set up a legacy as he was so ashamed of all the death and destruction that his dynamite invention caused. He apparently had no idea that making stuff that blows things up would be used to blow things up.
You would have thought that the death and destruction caused by the invention of gunpowder might have been a hint.

FrankFisher said...

I didn't know until today that Alfred Nobel, in whose honour the Nobel Peace Prize is granted each year, invented dynamite

*How* could you not know that? Dear oh dear...

On topic, yes it's bollocks, but who cares? NWO operating as per usual. Nothing we can do. We're just cattle. Now, if we had some dynamite...

Anna Raccoon said...

Frank Fisher,

Cor! There's loads I don't know, I learn something new every day, sometimes three or four times a day - and I'm never ashamed to admit it.

Constantly Furious said...

As I blogged elsewhere, its actually Barry's election cmapaign - what he "hoped" to do - that won the prize, not the fuck all he's actually done with his eight short months in power.

monty python said...

Blessed are the cheesemakers for they shall inherit the earth.

Delphius1 said...

I put up with my ex-missus for years.

Where's my fucking peace prize?

Anonymous said...

I want5 to know which of Anna Raccoon's organs is throbbing.

Anonymous said...

You just couldn't make this shit up, could you?

Polly Twaddle, Ashley, Marr, they'll have a gang ejaculation at this. Fuck, I'm going to bed for ten weeks.

Anna Raccoon said...

Given the talent around here?

None of them.

Anonymous said...

So if I come up with a big proposal to end world hunger'n'poverty'n'stuff - but without any means of actually achieving it can I have the prize next year? Oh no, 'cos I ain't black. Sorry if that sounds racist but it really is only because he's the first black prez that he's got it. As he's mixed race actually - black Dad, white Momma how come the 'white' bit is ignored? Oh sorry, I forgot, everything white is evil.

Anonymous said...

What a fucking farce!

Phil Free said...

No, but seriously. All joking aside. Was it really necessary to photoshop those big clown ears on the pic, OH...?

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 15:13

Bill Gates will be in that tradition too eh? He's set up his foundation out of guilt for all the misery he has caused in the world too perhaps.

Anonymous said...

Re: the dynamite story. Wasn't he the fella who everyone thought was dead, read his own obituary, and realised that he was going to go down in history as a peddler of death and destruction? Hence the need to reinvent himself with the Peace Prize.
(That's my eighties kitchen table education for you).

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

When I was a lad, I applied for an apprenticeship at the Nobel TNT factory in Ardeer, Stevenston. It was under the ICI umbrella at the time. At it's peak it employed 15,000 people.

It's pretty much empty now.

Joe Public said...

Could have been worse, it could have been given to Hilary C

Anonymous said...

The Beast of Revelation is said to be loved by all the world for no apparent reason...

General Stiltskin said...

"Anonymous said...
The Beast of Revelation is said to be loved by all the world for no apparent reason...

09 October 2009 21:34"

Let's get our hoods on and burn 'eem buddy!

(shakes head in dismay)

Two words:

Morgan Tsvangirai

If they're handing out Nobel Prizes for being black, then I say Morgan's blacker than Obama.

(Obviously the fact that Morgan's wife was recently killed in a reputed second assassination attempt by the same Sauron of Africa that Morgan Baggins has still gone into a quasi-powersharing government with is of no consequence, when you can talk priddy like St. Obama.)

Rogerborg said...

Come on, be reasonable. Obama is connected to the Mob.

That's a nice Nobel Peace Prize Committee you've got there. It'd be a shame if anything... happened... to it.

Anonymous said...

K. McEgan.

I'd like to do a Ph.D on Human rights and DNA post Marper or something. Is there any funding at Keele as I am currently on the dole and they are thinking of stopping my state benefits?

06 February 2009 17:44
Sociology and Criminology at Keele said...

Dear K.McEgan,

May I first say I am sorry to hear of your reduced circumstances.
Keele has ESRC recognition for 1+3 funding for Sociology, and for Criminology there are some scholarships funded via the Institute of Law, Politics and Justice. There are also a very few competitive Keele scholarships for excellent candidates. Your first port of call should be to contact either the member of staff you are interested in working with, or the Graduate School at Keele, or direct to the Postgraduate Officers in one of the research institutes. For next academic year, you will have to be quick as application deadlines are very soon. Incidentally I am returning your certificate of training from McDonald's Golden Arches UK. By the way do you have any formal educational qualifications?
10 February 2009 15:13

President Blair said...

Fucking McDonalds? What a loser!

Anonymous said...

Obama was nominated on the basis of what he said he aspired to do. As this was during an election campaign anyone with an IQ higher than their shoe size should have recognised this as bollocks. But even so, the committee had a good few months to see what St Obo actually did when in office to further the cause of peace. In short, fuck all.
PS: Nobel invented dynamite, and developed gelignite, as tools to assist in quarrying. He was gutted when the war industries started using the stuff to kill people. He would be equally gutted to see what's just happened.

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