Thursday, 8 October 2009

Most popular Poet

Benjamin Zephaniah celebrates a new multi million pound contract with the BBC this morning

According to the BBC, this shit is very popular. More popular than Keats, Kipling, Wilde, Chaucer and Browning.


Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas
Cos' turkeys just wanna hav fun
Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked
An every turkey has a Mum.
Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,
Don't eat it, keep it alive,
It could be yu mate, an not on your plate
Say, Yo! Turkey I'm on your side.
I got lots of friends who are turkeys
An all of dem fear christmas time,
Dey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it
An humans are out of dere mind,
Yeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys
Dey all hav a right to a life,
Not to be caged up an genetically made up
By any farmer...
I am now going to lie down for a while. If I stop breathing, do not resuscitate me. Please.


Billy Blofeld said...

Dat is some shit poetry dere.......

Brings to mind this song by The Smiths:

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I've held
It pays my way, and it corrodes my soul
I want to leave, you will not miss me
I want to go down in musical history

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, I'm a sickening wreck
I've got the 21st century breathing down my neck
I must move fast, you understand me
I want to go down in celluloid history, Mr. Shankly

Fame, Fame, fatal Fame
It can play hideous tricks on the brain
But still I'd rather be Famous
Than righteous or holy, any day
Any day, any day

But sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled
Making Christmas cards with the mentally ill
I want to live and I want to Love
I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I've held
It pays my way and it corrodes my soul
Oh, I didn't realise that you wrote poetry
I didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry, Mr. Shankly

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, since you ask
You are a flatulent pain in the arse
I do not mean to be so rude
Still, I must speak frankly, Mr. Shankly

Anonymous said...

and he's a great live performer, which makes him a touch more attractive to the BBC than Keats, Kipling, Wilde, Chaucer or Browning.

If you bothered to look you'd find it's not just the BBC that like him, he's been showered with honorary degrees and awards.

But then, you wouldn't like him would you.

plastrun said...

Dizzee Rascal is better.

Snowolf said...

I bet Wordsworth is shitting himself.

Dave said...

They had some fake black dreadlock poet in the BBC this morning (I mean a white bloke who has dreads and pretends to be black) Mr Dreadlock something or other. They ask him for some poetry and he starts spouting some drivel.

Apart from the fact that it didn't scan, rhyme or make any kind of sense, literally or aesthetically I was left with the impression that it went on for a long time.

Rap is not poetry. Neither is doggerel. Neither is most pop music.

Poetry is... well, you know it when you hear it. Give me Leonard Cohen any day

Anonymous said...

If you listen to Radio 4 much you will find that they are obsessed with Africans. It's almost a sexual thing with them.

Fight The Power said...

I notice the BBC have been trailing as a top news story all day long the '2009 street dancing world championships' as patronised by modern day dancing negro minstrels 'diversity'

Of course one could contend that such an event, which is of little interest to the BBCs audience,or the British public at large, and which is also of little artistic merit ( having seen these tits on telly, their break dancing, because thats what it is, would have been considered sub standard in 1985) the BBC should not be trailing such shite, but - blacks (check) dancing (check) street (check)the word diversity (check) and its an orgasm for the BBCs news team.

JuliaM said...

Pam Ayres is Jamaican? Who knew!

Anonymous said...

It *is* popular - popular with the multi-culti boneheads at the BBC, popular with the fucktard and shit-for-brains leftists who'll throw their weight behind anything and everything with a non-white originator.

It may also be popular with the product of the state school system who, after 12 years of Labour failure, probably can't read Keats, Kipling or Browning.

Anonymous said...

FFS! Great for cards & mugs like Purple Ronnie but 2nd place? Iz it coz I iz black I win?

Anonymous said...

Anon 12.39

So if I listened to his 'turkey' poem live it would suddenly all make sense would it? We're supposed to judge the merit of a poet on how well he performs live are we?

Just because he's been 'showered with honorary degrees and awards' doesn't mean he's any good.

But then, you would like him wouldn't you.

Anonymous said...

I like him because I read some of his stuff and liked it. Then I went to see him live and really enjoyed the show. So unlike you I'm not judging his entire repertoire on having read one humorous poem.

And yes, being a great performer is important if you're working on TV or radio. It might for example put the turkey poem in context.

So yes, I would like him wouldn't I.

Calliope said...

Oy Zefeniah! Composes a sestina about silence, using the key words: dark, ragged, never, screaming, fire, and kiss.

Do that and you might qualify as *proper* poet. Until then, fuck off back to your squat and stop sponging off the public teat.

PS: get a haircut.

Sir Henry Morgan said...

Anon 13.11


Sir Henry Morgan said...

Anon 13.11

Do we suppose the beeb has an employee whose sole task is to wash knickers?

If yes - do we suppose it's a "man"?

I am Stan said...

Lets sin

On a lion skin

Or if you prefer

We could err

On a different fur

amysnott said...

I certainly indicates that this gentleman is not without erudition.
Some of the spelling is correct.

microdave said...

"It may also be popular with the product of the state school system who, after 12 years of Labour failure, probably can't read Keats, Kipling or Browning."

Probably can't read......PERIOD!

After the third line my mind switched off. Why do we have to be subjected to this shit?

Anonymous said...

Roger McGough is just as crap imho

The Beeb love him too.

Gawd knows why.

Fuckin minority loving twats.

You're shit, not because you're a minority, you are just shit. Sorry.

Sadly, the beeboids don't quite see it that way.

Phil Free said...

Oooh i'm going to lie down for a while. People prefer the work of someone who isn't Keats, Kipling, Wilde, Chaucer or Browning, oh my god the OUTRAGE! I am INDIGNANT! I feel.....quite....weak.....I...may just....die.

You friggin' latter-day green pen using complaint letter writing sad-sack cunt. Get over yourself.

Anonymous said...

"And yes, being a great performer is important if you're working on TV or radio. It might for example put the turkey poem in context."

I thought it was about poetry not performance. What possible 'context' might improve the 'turkey' poem?

And no, I'm not just judging him on one poem.

oscar 'soddin' wylde said...

No pam ayres, is he, that Zephy geezer - can't even spell proper.
Is it because he am fick?

K.McEgan said...

I wish I was black and had his talent, you are a bunch of BNP/Gay bashing/Muslim hating cunts.

Anonymous said...

Mr McEgan.

Please come to the point.

And then fuck off.

Thank you.

Andy Arbuthnott said...

It isn't McEgan nor Broxted just a housebound raspberry ripple in Eaton Socon who wanks off over at The Daily Telegraph site as "A Blogger". He has de Clerambaults syndrome, lied about getting into Cambridge (LL.M) and funniest of all is a "multi-millionaire businessman". Yup, that is why he posts at 3a.m. Cabron.

Ratings and Recommendations by outbrain


Related Posts with Thumbnails