Friday, 2 October 2009

Fancy a pint?


One possible solution could be an entitlement card that people would carry and swipe when every time they buy Alcohol or Tobacco and record their usage. Is that too radical? I don't think so. For a long time the Government have controlled motorists with a system of licences where people enjoy the right and freedom to drive - as long as they conform to certain rules.

With the card, people who got into trouble for, say, minor crimes or drunk and disorderly conduct in public would receive a fixed penalty notice and 3 points on their entitlement card with points disappearing over time for in the same way works on driving licences.

More serious offences would result in endorsements on the entitlement card and the cardholder would not be able to purchase alcohol, tobacco or other drugs available for sale through the entitlement card scheme.


Ye GODS

54 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, have I missed something? Are you taking the piss?

CIngram said...

We're going to need more lampposts

Anonymous said...

And someone else buys it for them. Like the successful ban on underage drinkers?

Tyburn Jig said...

Why don't these cunts just fuck off and die?

Custard said...

Is it April 1st?

Bill said...

How about a new law making it a criminal offence to consume alcohol within 48 hours of entering either of the parliamentary chambers.

You're not allowed to drive or fly a plane when pissed so why should you be able to make & debate legislation, vote on whether to send kids to war and what have you when you're under the effluence?

If alcohol consumption affects your judgement then that makes sense doesn't it?

Obnoxio The Clown said...

WHAT THE FUCK????????????

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK? I can't get my head around this shit!

GCooper said...

It was inevitable once we started down the road to socialised medicine. The moment person A has to pay for person B's treatment, he feels he has a say in person B's way of life.

Elby The Beserk said...

So when do fatties get their MacDonald's card?

Christ on a FUCKING BICYCLE.

Faux Cu said...

Bill

They breathalyse Ozzie politicians before votes, I think.

Brewblogger said...

If you use a store loyality card the alcohol you buy is already recorded. It would not be a great difficulty for the government to gain access to this information and use it.

Faux Cu said...

This has to be a wind up but..................................................................

the self righteous fuckwits will almost certainly try it

Barry Stonham said...

I demand the biggest fucking card in Eaton Socon.

Oldrightie said...

You vill do as you are told, Englander.

bofl said...

its all about control......

those that are in the party will rule and the rest of us will comply....

'entitlement' cards will be held up as good for everyone.it will stop this that or the other....cure all known maladies etc..........

it will also be used like every other piece of labour legislation against US!!!!!!!!!!

they think they have a divine right..but so did king charles I......

Anonymous said...

Don't give these cunts in power ideas! I expect they're planning something like this for flights already.
Urban11

Warsteiner said...

Email him at

cowan@totalise.co.uk

And express your views on this shit - I have.

Dear Prime Minister said...

Ah, I see a whole new crime being created. The Misuse of an Alcohol Allowance Card Act 2010.

An industry will of course be created around the forging etc of these stupidly proposed cards.

If someone drinks and engages in a criminal offence, sort it out using current law. That's what it's there for FFS!

richard said...

Mr Cowan, why not (since you are in a radical mood) organise a bunch of honest men to dissuade, catch and punish drunkards? let's give this civilian force a distinctive uniform, a whistle to blow if they need assistance, and the power to stop or "arrest" bad people. let's call them the "polite force" since their only sworn duty would be to deter people from being uncivil, and to take them to be punished if there is evidence of wrongdoing.
they should also leave the rest of us the fuck alone, Mr Cowan, as should you.

Lutney Chocker said...

Hey, that was my idea!

Fenrir said...

Glad you made use of the link

Road_Hog said...

To Brewblogger,

With regards to the store loyalty cards, the government ALREADY has access to all that information. It was initially given authority for use with the NHS under the guise that if food/consumable items were later to be dsicovered to have contained something harmful then it would be useful for the NHS contact people directly who had bought these items.

And a year or so later, the NHS decided to share the info with other government departments. So if you're self employed earning £18,000 a year and you spend £10,000 a year in Tescos, expect a letter from HMC & Revenue asking for more details about your earnings.

Anonymous said...

This is so wrong, on so many levels, that it is mindblowing that it they would even suggest it. Although, I'm assuming that if ever any such plan is introduced it would not apply to the Palace of Westminster, thus effectively exempting all MPs, Lords and anyone else who works there and is already receiving subsidized drinks, food and still allowed to smoke on the premises...

Anonymous said...

...what the cunting fuck?

I wish I could say that this beggars belief...but sadly that no longer applies to the guff emanating from the gubmint & their supporters (and many other mainstream politicians, for that matter).

Usukh Dikh said...

What a dick this Labour wannabe MP is.

The kind of shit these Labour punks come up with, makes you wonder whether they are indeed human?

Anonymous said...

For every infringement of our liberties/privacy there is always, always a reasonable sounding pretext. Usually something dreamt up by a quango/interest group and seized upon by the government in order to extend their control.

Barking Spider said...

These cunts have just had the proverbial shit kicked out of them before, during and after their fucking poxy conference and STILL they have learned fuck all about leaving us the fuck alone! What a pile of control freakery fuckwit fucktards!!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps a license to blog or comment on the interweb. The correctness of your thoughts would be first assessed in order to avoid causing offence. Expression of any anti EU thoughts would constitute a crime under terrorism legislation.

Captain Ranty said...

I have been ranting about this for months.

It's time everyone learned one simple fact: they treat us like children because that is how the Law Society describes us.

Check out any edition of Blacks Law Dictionary. (Or Bouviers). We are described variously as "imbeciles", "monsters" or "children". Us, you, me. We are bairns to the lawmakers. That's why they treat us that way.

They get away with this shit because, like morons, we feel the need to ask permission, we allow ourselves to be "licensed". We apply (Blacks Law describes applying as "begging") for all sorts of stuff. It's time we grew a pair and told them to fuck off.

I have already done so. Officially.

Get researching folks.

You will learn that:

a) Council tax is illegal.

b) Income tax does NOT apply to human beings.

c) YOU create wealth (in the form of loans) and THEN pay them back what YOU created plus interest.

d) Statutes are NOT law.

e) Statutes are "Laws Of The Water"-do you live on the sea?

f) Common Law is the "Law Of The Land"-it is simple to understand and abide by. Anything else is fluff.

Statutes, and Statutory Instruments have one goal: to make money. If you ever thought they were about justice, you were wrong. This is all about dosh.

I could go on and on, but until people understand and walk away from the fundamentals, the shit will keep on rolling downhill.

Here endeth the rant.

CR.

ranter said...

what is surprisng is that we are all still surprised that real human beings think this shit and seek in all seriousness to impose it on the rest. As someone else said earlier FUCK OFF AND DIE ALL OF YOU AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

hangemall said...

According to Andrew M. Lobaczewski about four percent of the population lack the gene which allows us to be able to empathise with other people. He calls them psychopaths. I don't want to be ruled by psychopaths, so how about a DNA test for every person who runs for parliament/local government/is being considered for the Houe of Lords/senior civil servants(including local government)(and espcially assistant commissioners of police upwards.)

I am sure you can think of a few more to add to the list.

Those who would rule us AND are missing this gene should only be allowed to empty bins and sweep the streets.

They should also be issued with ID cards with which everything they buy is recorded. Think of all the explosive methane they could produce and collect in a year on a diet of beans.

Leg-iron, I believee you're a microbiologist. If you see this can you confirm the bit about the DNA and the four percent? I expect it's at least on the fringes of your job.

Captain Ranty, I have been following your blog for a couple of months now and recommend it to anyone who wants to get back at least some of their lives. The links to other sites are useful too.

Anonymous said...

That'd be a good idea for the sales of extasy etc when it's legalised but for for alcamahol it's just silly sillly

Sir Henry Morgan said...

I remember once seeing a gate to get off a motorway that had a big poster on it saying "Authorised Entry only"

There was nothing saying where to get said authority from - so I authorised myself, on the spot, and left the motorway.

This sort of stuff started years ago - we just didn't at the time notice it.

Fuck 'em all.

Poopy said...

Will this be part of the Libertarian Party or Jury Team manifesto? I think the author should seriosly consider joining the Labour party where he would feel right at home.

scunnert said...

First of all - driving is a privilege - not a right. Second - getting pissed is a right - not a privilege. Third - I'll brew my own and you lot can kiss my ass.

pissing blood said...

My son had to go for an interview to get his passport his 1st,the woman behind the desk made the comment "sometime in the future maybe not in our lifetimes,there won't be a need for passports ,you'll have a chip implanted in your earlobe" to which my son answered "oh you mean the RFID chip?,she looked a little shocked he said by his answer and changed the subject,while four security guards milled round at the back of him,maybe because he was fiddling with the hidden microphone under the desk,this country is no longer ours we are truly under the heel of a silent dictatorship,i can feel the formation soon of a resistance from the ordinary people,akin to the french in WW2,when i see the cops in their black peaked caps its like seeing the SS,no more dixon of dock greens.Democracy did we ever have it?

Rightwinggit said...

He'd buy a hundred pounds of yeast and some copper line,
Everybody knew that he made moonshine

Yeehah moment approaching.

Fausty said...

How many units of alcohol does the f*ckwit who penned that dross imbibe per week? And does s/he work in the public sector, perchance?

lincolnimp said...

link abuse. nice..

I wonder how long till they notice. might be a while as only their opponents visit the site.

Lutney Chocker said...

"Anonymous, 02 October 2009 13:12

Perhaps a license to blog or comment on the interweb. The correctness of your thoughts would be first assessed in order to avoid causing offence. Expression of any anti EU thoughts would constitute a crime under terrorism legislation."

Phase 1 of the five year plan:
[drum roll] "the broadband tax"
news bbc co uk 1 hi 8270772 stm

Lutney Chocker said...

Phase 2...
[drum roll] "Broadband banning orders"
technology timesonline co uk tol news tech_and_web article6857769 ece#cid=OTC-RSS&attr=797084

I forsee a Seditious Libel writ winging its way towards "pissing blood's" letter box.
(You want to try reading that law and some of the similar ones Labour brought in during its reign of terror:
Part III and IIIa of, and Section 74 and Schedule 16 amendments to the Public Order Act 1986
Civil Contingencies Act 2004
Identity Cards Act 2006
SOCPA Act 2005
Anti-Terrorism, Crime & Security Act 2001).

Mmmm yummy!

Captain Ranty said...

Mr Scunnert,

Driving is a right.

It has been since 1215. Nothing has changed.

Whilst I dont mind a test to establish my driving capabilities, I certainly do not need a License.

That's just another money making scam.

Read the Great Charter. Lots of good stuff in there that cannot ever be repealed, whatever the gibbons at Westminster may say.

CR

gamstath said...

The key error in Cowan's logic is that although we require driving licences and pay vehicle excise duty to legally use the Queen's highways, we are not limited in our mileage or in our choice of direction.

If these ideas are so great let the Labour Party trial them on their members and let the Government trial it on Members of Parliament. For a decade at least. So many of them are obese drunkards yet they are trying to make is so we cannot be.

microdave said...

I started reading this post and thought OH really has lost it now! Then I saw the "Ye GODS". Went over to Labour Lost and noticed that at least the first 10 replies all basically told him to fuck off. (Didn't read any further)

Times are a changing - that sort of response would have been taken down very quickly when it first started.

Still unbelievable though....

Anonymous II said...

Just off to a local beer festival, whilst I'm still allowed!

Funny thing, in over twenty years of attending real ale festivals, I've never once witnessed agressive behaviour amongst the connoisseurs of our national beverage.

pissing blood said...

lets see if a Seditious Libel writ arrives,somehow doubt it,perhaps you mistake me for someone who respects these laws,well your mistaken chum,free speech and thought will not be stifled by threats or inuendos,
so go and yummy on that.

Mitch said...

We are heading for a "Logans Run" scenario.

bunch of fuckin tossers.Bet the HOC would be exempt.

Harri said...

Has there ever been a better time to become a 'drug dealer' !

Expect the usage/sale of Charlie to go through the fucking roof ?

They ( The righteous ) really don't have a fucking clue do they !

Anonymous said...

Take a chill pil.

banned said...

Laughable disbelief is how we first greeted the proposed partial smoking ban touted by some marginal public sector loon but look where that led.

Anonymous said...

I sent a link to that LabourLost article on a drink entitlement card to the Sun - thought they might be interested in getting it a bit more publicity

Anonymous said...

......thereby making sure that the dim fucker who wrote it gets even less than 63 votes in his next foray into the voting arena.

The Cunic. said...

Next - the sex entitlement card.
Every time you have sex, any type - M or F, self or partnered, in or out of wedlock/partnership, your chipped friendly card will debit you with one point.
Your annual " free" allowance will be 100 points after which you will incur penalty points on a sliding scale, collected automatically from your taxed income.
All children will be implanted after birth, with the necessary card reading software. All adults will report to their local implantation centre when notified by Big Brother.

Antipholus Papps said...

Expect the usage/sale of Charlie to go through the fucking roof ?

Very unlikely, given that the first thing to go through your mind after a line of Chisel is: "bring it on, now where's the booze?"

Ratings and Recommendations by outbrain

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails