Wednesday, 14 October 2009


Right. We've done tobacco, alcohol, food additives, sex, coffee, tea, sugar and obesity. What's next?

Yup. Salt. Fucking salt. Our GOVERNMENT are reminding me every ten minutes that 6g of salt is my "maximum daily limit". Six grammes. That's 12 grains of bastard salt

Using BBC permaluvvie Jenny "I'm not funny, I'm just loud in a whacky middle class way" Eclair, I cannot turn the fucking radio on without being told I am an evil Devil worshipper if I want to have more than 6 grammes of bastard salt a day on what I put into my own, heavily insured body, you know, the one that fucking belongs to me and always has.

Jenny Eclair, having a lie down at the BBC yesterday

Dear Jenny Eclair,

I know you are a talentless, overpaid, dried up wrinklewitch. Do not tell me what to do, what to eat or what to say or dare even try to tell me my "maximum daily limit of anything" and I will not come around to your BBC funded Habitat Emporium of a mansion and rub you down with a bastard housebrick. And then rub you in a lot more than six fucking grammes of salt. Do we have an agreement?

Old Holborn


Zoings! said...

This salt bollocks is even less accurate than global warming. The data supporting the recommended daily salt intake tends to come from investigations of people already ill with heart disease and high blood pressure.

Excessive salt intake is bad for ill people. If you are healthy your body can deal with loads more salt than the RDA.

Martin said...

Join us tomorrow when the government ban medium rare steaks in case we get AIDs and/or cancer.

Field Marshall Watkins said...

Don't forget the endless posters up all over the place saying the same thing. Full spectrum social engineering. Strange, they way this government behaves. It is almost as if they believe our bodies and lives belong to them, it is the only explanation for all this fake do-goody fascist bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Known to her friends as Jenny "TAMPAX" eclair

Word Ver: 'ingsorac'

Weekend Yachtsman said...

Zoings is right.

This whole salt thing is based on no proper science at all.

It's a data dredge from all sorts of unrepresentative things that were designed to look at quite different stuff.

It just doesn't hold up.

It is yet another example of the gullibility of the uneducated masses, I'm afraid.

Harrumphrie said...

Jenny Eclair, she's like listening to an embarrassing tipsy aunt do an endless Sue Pollard impression. ("Hi De Hi!") What *is* the woman famous for?

Fuck the stupid salt nagvert! I'm off to read Mark Kurlansky's fine book on that wondrous, civilisation-advancing substance.

Harri moresaltvicar said...

Groan.... another one for the Tar and feathers !

I had better order some extra supplies in.

Another fucking Moonbat, another day in 'righteous' hell.

Lorenzo said...

Picture and caption of JE lieing down, one of the funniest combinations I've seen.

Blanket Of Ash said...

"In an attempt to make salt content counting sexy, the Food Standards Agency has released "FSA Salt", a free app for the iPhone or iPod touch."

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Or perhaps gouge my own eyes out.

Anonymous said...

ive increased my consumption of salt and bottled water, my blood pressure,s gone down!

Goodnight Vienna said...

Whatever you do don't listen to Jeni Barnett on LBC - she's Eclair's mentor.

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

But surely your body would quite naturally monitor it's own levels of salt. If you ate too much, you'd just feel extra thirsty and in drinking more water, your salt levels would go down. Unless you were ill with something that took away your body's ability to do this, that is. Or am I just being a dimwit?

Old Holborn said...

Cleaner. Correct. Put your price up to £70 a week

I blame too much salt for the astounding amounts of alcohol I drink.

banned said...

The Romans knew a thing or two about salt; their troops were paid with it since it was more reliable than gold; hence the word 'Salary'.

Anonymous said...

I`m sure the daily intake of labour party bullshit causes blood pressure to raise far higher than the effects of a few salt grains.

Harri muchmoresaltvicar said...

I ( Harri ) righteous have suffered many, many , many trimes from double vision ( and have no regrets ) absolutley none... but just who the fuck are ' Food Vision ' !

Salt Awareness Day

This project was set up by Trading Standards in Warrington who linked in with the local Primary Care Trust, North Cheshire Hospitals NHS Trust and The Stroke Association to train professionals who work with the elderly about the adverse effects of too much salt in the diet. Two workshops were held linking in with CASH – Consensus Action on Salt and Health and their Salt Awareness Day which was held on 26th January 2005.

Aims and Objectives
The Food Standards Agency had recently held their Salt Awareness Campaign highlighting the adverse affects salt can have on the body, using "Sid the slug" as a great marketing tool. In addition to raising the awareness of the health problems that can be caused by consumers adding too much salt to their food Trading Standards also wanted to link in and draw attention to the "hidden" salt that is found in processed foods. By working with CASH, the Primary Care Trust, The Stroke Association and North Cheshire Hospitals NHS Trust the following three aims of the day were set and met:

Raise awareness of the health problems that are associated with too much salt in the diet.
Educate consumers on how to read food labels, therefore enabling them to see the amount of salt in their food.
Provide practical advice on how to reduce the amount of salt in the diet.

" Look, Food vision, Enforcement officers, just find a damp rock to crawl back under... and basicaly die you utter cunts you !"

FFS ! ' Food vision '... its all gone horribly wrong has it not ?

Mark Wadsworth said...

@ Martin, comment 2.

Keep up with the plot, they've already done that:

Vegetarians are generally less likely than meat eaters to develop cancer but this does not apply to all forms of the disease, a major study has found.

Brew Wales said...

FFS just glad my beer tonight is salt free.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Were it not for salt, that body in the pic wouldn't have been so well preserved.

Fucking fascinating, eh?

Matthew Hopkins said...

I don't like salt. so i'm using alcohol and amphetamines to make up for not pissing the fuckers off enough, and driving a 4x4, and farting as much greenhouse gas a possible...
now where's that fcuking witch?

Anonymous said...

Why is salted butter cheaper than unsalted butter?

Shades Of Ansel said...

I WILL eat,drink and smoke what the fuck I want.If you have a problem with that,come and suck my cold,dead flesh when I cop it....otherwise...SHUT THE FUCK UP.LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT TO...Cunts

Anonymous said...

Just another example of self important know nothings trying to make a name for themselves - CASH - Consensus Action on Salt & Health - FFS! I always thought 'consensus' meant 'an opinion arrived at after considering all different points of views & opinions' - haven't seen any of those cunts round my way asking my opinion. Ideal new election slogan 'Nu Labour - we'll tell you what to think'. Fuck off cunts - no you won't.

Anonymous said...

Based on the example of 'Sid the Slug' shouldn't we take salt with us on 5th Nov, OH? We could put some on any MPs we meet - and see what happens?

JMT said...

Does that mean that they are going to ban bathing at the beach? Muppets.

These medical studies remind me of the old joke:

A government study by the Royal College of Nurses came to the conclusion that the knob on end of a man's willy is to satisfy the man during sex, but more research grants were needed to confirm their findings.
A government study by the Royal Society of Surgeons came to the conclusion that the knob on end of a man's willy is to satisfy the woman during sex, but more research grants were needed to confirm their findings.
A crowd of students at Uni blew their grant on a couple of crates of cheap lager and came to conclusion that the knob on end of a man's willy was to stop his hand slipping off while he was having a ham shank.

electro-kevin said...

Is there a pension crisis or not ?

One minute they're telling us that increased life expectancy is causing unprecedented care costs - the next that we're all at risk of premature death !

Death by salt - better than death by Magumba.

Two missionaries caught by a tribe. The tribe elder says "You have a choice - death or Magumba"

"Magumba" Says the first missionary. From behind a hut comes a tribesman with the biggest cock ever and takes the missionary up the arse for two whole hours.

The elder says to the second missionary "Death or Magumba"

Missionary having see the dreadful state of his friend says "Death, please"

The tribal elders says, "Very well. DEATH ... by Magumba."

Anonymous said...

Be careful E-K - now that you've given your name you'll have Mandy writing to you to ask where this happened so he can book a trip there.

adam said...

havent laughed so much in a week

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

It's all a load of bollocks. If you want to go pasty faced and complain that your food tastes like shit then fuck off.

Me? I, like any good chef, seasons my blandly produced, tasteless, mega-cropped bio-vegetables with as much salt as they have genetically engineered to remove.

Salt is an essential chemical for muscle and nerve activity.

Like all this taxpayer funded lobby worship, jobs for people that couldn't even stack shelves in Tesco - it's trying to find something new to do to keeps the fundw flowing to pay their overpriced mortgages.

The problem with all this fake science and scaremongering is that some people will die as a result of it - far more than those with no kidneys, no heart and one leg will by gorging on 8g of salt.

Some impressionable people will die due to edemas and heart failure because of this irresponsibility.

So, if you work in one of these QUANGOs, then you are a fucking murderer.

Shades Of Ansel said...

Don't you just get SICK AND TIRED of being bullied by bullshit.I can honestly say,I've never felt so low in my life.If my life ended tomorrow,I wouldn't give a shit.I'd just be glad to be free at last.

Pogo said...

Sixtypondsaweekcleaner: Correct. It's called homeostasis. If you eat too much salt your body simply excretes more salt. If you eat too little, first your body stops excreting it and then you start to get dreadful cramp and eventually nerve problems.

BrewWales: Fortunately, your beer does have salt in it, otherwise you wouldn't be able to drink very much of it without doing serious chemical imbalance problems to your body. Water poisoning can be brought on by drinking (relatively) small volumes of water (ie a few litres) if not done in conjunction with salt intake. That's (a) why the poor kid Leah Betts died - not from "E" but from the loads of water she drank under the mistaken impression that it was an "antidote", and (b) why you need salt tablets in hot climates...

And anyway, the "research" was a complete load of bollocks, splendidly demolished by Prog Brignell of "Numberwatch".

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