Friday, 23 October 2009

27th March 2011


It's CENSUS time.

And BOY, are they are planning to find out EVERYTHING about you and yours.

Page 1

Old Holborn does not do "census". I am me, you are you. Enough said.

28 comments:

Demetrius said...

As someone who has waded through so many Census returns of the past and transcribed a few, what is striking about so many, especially my own family, is the number of errors and the amount of things that are plain wrong. Last time round in 2001 there was a major row over serious inaccuracies in some places. This time it will all be much worse.

hermit said...

The word *person* appears 73 times in this document.
Very interesting. Especially if you know what it means.

Old Holborn said...

Indeed hermit

http://www.tpuc.org/

woman on a raft said...

For comparison purposes:

ENGLAND
What is the fine for not completing the 2011 Census questionnaire.

There is no fine for not completing a Rehearsal questionnaire since the Rehearsal is voluntary. The amount of the fine for not completing the 2011 Census questionnaire is determined in each individual case by the Magistrate. It is subject to the maximum of level 3 on the standard scale under the Criminal Justice Act.

Currently the fine for refusing to complete and return a 2011 Census questionnaire is up to a maximum of £1000.

If the level 3 maximum were to be amended by any revision to the Criminal Justice Act then the maximum level of fine for a Census Act offence could also change.

......

NORTHERN IRELAND

Fines for not completing the 2011 Census questionnaire

Completion of the Census questionnaire is compulsory under the Census Act (NI) 1969. If you refuse to complete it or give false information you may be liable to a fine. This liability does not apply to completion of questions about religion.

Currently the fine for refusing to complete and return a 2011 Census questionnaire is up to a maximum of £1000 - level 3 of the Fines and Penalties (NI) Order 1984 plus costs.

Ampers said...

I shall be emigrating the week before for Portugal.

I will probably tire of Portugal the week after, and emigrate back to the UK.

Ampers.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

OH, this may be of interest to you, especially the commentary.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

http://wrinkledweasel.blogspot.com/2009/10/ignorant-fascists-no-not-them.html

Anonymous said...

In New Zealand, a guy from Chritstchurch used to push a boat 2 miles out to see on teh night of the census, in order to avoid it.

What is the minimum effort required, other than just sitting at home and refusing to fill it in, that can be done in order to legally avoid it?

Old Holborn said...

It gets complex

My argument would be

"Fuck off"

Followed by a summons, where I explain to the Judge that he is an employee of a Ltd Company and therefore has no authority over me under Common Law (the same one that lets you perform a citizens arrest).

Followed by much huffing and puffing by the judge

Followed by me going down the pub for a pint.

Sue said...

What a bloody waste of time. There over a million people in the country that shouldn't be there!

Hairy Arsed Bloke said...

Just fill in any old bollocks. That's what I did last time.

The cunts never came back to collect it and I heard nothing from them ever again.

Later, Westminster Council complained that tens of thousands of people had 'gone missing'. Stupid fuckers.

Anonymous said...

Will the hordes of undocumented illegals get one to, and a fine for not completing it? Will "travellers" be exempt and if not will strenuous efforts be made to make sure they complete theirs?

Anonymous said...

I have made it a practice to be economical with the truth on all official forms - Census 2011 will be no exception. I know who I am - that does me.

Renata and Julian said...

me thinks me will be WORKING ABROAD for a couple of weeks

Capt Bollo-x said...

Put down any old bollocks...

i.e self-employed religious mystic...
from the Great white Brotherhood (UK chapter)

Jess The Dog said...

The Census is essential for all sorts of policy reasons. But the more irrelevant data trawling they are doing, the more people will fail to comply, or will give misleading information.

No need for anything other than number of people and their ages. There's a real risk they won't even get that if there is mass disobedience.

Bishop of Hell said...

I knew that internet ordination would come in handy.

Title: Bishop

Occupation: Agent of God.

Children: You are all my children.

Anonymous said...

here's the thing, OH - the census is to be run by Lockheed-Martin, the US military giant. this is the same US that has the right under treaty to extradite UK citizens for trial in the US, even though the UK citizen has not committed an offence in the UK. there is a couple in scotland currently undergoing extradition for selling firework ingredients which can be used to make crystal meth. it's a crime to sell red phosphorous in the US, but not here. nevertheless they are being extradited.

microdave said...

I was pleasantly surprised to see that I can actually describe myself as "White English", and not have to generalise with "British".

But that's about all.....

The Beast said...

I have filled one in once
As a Paki sweet maker (I am white)
On one occasion some cock sucker in a Macintosh brandishing a clipboard arrived at my door threatening me with one of these "fines" If I didnt fill in his forms, he left my drive very quickly
I have since learned how to not only ignore them but how to make them know what impotent wank stains they all are (if they ever catch me ) then laugh at
the tiny cocked wankers that try and impose these "fines"

The Beast said...

My Grammar is shot
Im fucking pissed

Old Holborn said...

We are SO looking forward to you joining us again on November 5th, beast.

Anonymous said...

My two dogs are currently on the voters list - and both of them received a very nice letter from Call Me Dave before the Euro elections (after discussions they decided not to vote - basically I couldn't be fucked to trawl down to the Voting Station three different times in three different outfits - to vote for the same person - may I be forgiven for the nasty tricks I've picked up from Labour - I just wanted to see how easy it is to do the Labour trick of providing extra voters - VERY) - does this mean they'll also get a census form? If so, I must make their responses really special.

Chris said...

n1 adults of voting age live here, of whom n2 are entitled to vote in UK elections on this date.

(note to our swarthy brethren in the north: n2 must be a whole number *smaller* than n1)

That is *all* they need to know for a census. Aught else is just data-mining fodder sure to be used against us sooner or later.

Fuck 'em. They'll get what they're given!

Rightwinggit said...

"...where I explain to the Judge that he is an employee of a Ltd Company and therefore has no authority over me under Common Law (the same one that lets you perform a citizens arrest)."

Interesting..any more details on this trick, OH?

Rogerborg said...

Presumably it's the Jedi Mind Trick.

Since the bailiffs and court goons accept a Sheriff's "authority", it doesn't really matter what you happen to believe.

Al Vader said...

I probably shouldn't say this out loud, but I'm a terrorist. Not just as a hobby on a Thursday evening between Emmerdale and The Bill, but as a full-time occupation.

This is going to make the census form rather interesting.

It's a thousand quid if the Census bods think I'm not a terrorist, and a thousand years if the Home Office think I am, but thanks to the STRICT CONFIDENTIALITY RULES governing census forms, the pair of them will never find out.

Not Guilty, Your Honour, no case to answer.

FM said...

Change 'census' for 'stock check' and 'person' for 'state property'.

Ratings and Recommendations by outbrain

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails