Saturday, 26 September 2009

Tonga v Scotland The Premier Championship


90th minute plus …BBC has exposed the long accepted bromide that defence wins championships. With Scotland's defence hobbled by a long play from Clifford, the Attorney-General weathered Tonga's early onslaught and fought back with style. Dominant midfielder play led by Brown and Mandelson.


90th minute plus … Clifford for Tonga.


87th minute … Brown's ball sails over goal.


85th minute … Husband takes a cheque pass from Mail on Sunday.


84th minute … Tonga in complete and utter control. Labour players walking, stunned.


75th minute … Last gasp for Labour. Probably too little, too late.


70th minute … Absolutely spellbinding. UKBA fouls at the front door, exposing an out of date passport. and the Tongans flash a goal on an unlikely tale from Scotland. Tonga 2-0.


67th minute … Brown replaces a frustrated Hesford.


60th minute … Nothing but frustration for Labour. Scotland offside, errant passes, nothing clicking. But still a long way to go.


52nd minute … Scotland fouled at top of Clifford penalty area. £5,000 fine from referee but shot slams off the near post.


49th minute … Scotland pouring forward, with control and confidence. But without scoring so far, which could be deadly.


47th minute … Tonga springs Max down the left, one on one with Mail on Sunday. Fakes the pass (port) off his feet, but shot is saved by ......


Halftime … The type of match where you look up at the running clock and are amazed that 40-45 have passed.


If you’re Gordon Brown, who comes off and who goes on for the second half? If you’re Max Clifford, do you make any changes? Sheer entertainment, regardless of which team you’re supporting. If you’re reading this the real question is: Why aren’t you watching the match?


Its in the Mail on Sunday....in just 45 minutes.


45th minute...Tonga takes a dive, heads an out of date passport over the goal, Scotland didn't see it, cunning, its a low tackle, and Scotland appeals to the referee......


10 comments:

Wyrdtimes said...

Anyone but Scotland

denverthen said...

Looks better on the Raccoon site.

Fuck. (Random 'fuck' there).

caesars wife said...

dont forget fake blood capsule "it was an technical oversight"

Edgar said...

Tonga's family lives on £1 a day, according to the Mail. Maybe the fucking Scotland bitch could send them a few quid out of the £170,000 she stole from us.

The Economic Voice said...

I don't care what this post is about....it has a pic of a table football!!!!

WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT!!!!

ever...

I haven't practiced in 27 years and I will still whip the arse of anyone who dares to go against me in the noble sport....and no spinning!!!

Any challengers?

VotR said...

Scotland knifes her ex-housekeeper in the stomach and beheads her.

"It was like sending her to a sharia islamic state.", Scotland was heard to say in defence of her actions, despite Tonga being a Christian country.

Dick the Prick said...

Lovely. OT - Brown on Marr is fucking mental - he's drugged out of his skull.

Rogerborg said...

Oh dear - some BBC quislings still haven't seen the writing on the wall:

Legal commentator Joshua Rozenberg said he did not believe the row would lead to Baroness Scotland losing her job because there was no evidence to suggest she was lying.

What sort of "evidence" does he believe would prove a negative? I mean, other than testimony from the only other party present, and the lack of evidence that a valid passport ever existed?


>"It doesn't really matter whether Ms Tapui produced her passport or not," he added, pointing out that it would have been enough under law for the Baroness to have seen her P45 and Home Office letter.

Translated: it doesn't matter if she lied about it. After all, it was only an administrative oversight, so lying about it doesn't count either.

Brown on Marr, at about 23 minutes, or start at 21 minutes and knock a quick one out to the Weather Poppet.

Doesn't look drugged to me, just sweaty and crapping himself at having to talk to an actual human, as usual.

Rogerborg said...

Actually, it's turning out to be a pretty good day, on a small scale: the Machine is turning on itself.

Mandelson denied conference entry [by some jumped up 'security guard']

Ofsted [tells] two police women to end an arrangement to care for each other's children

Now, now, don't blame the jobsworths: ze are only following zere orders. Take millions of worthless wasters off the dole, give them clipboards and hi-viz vests and tell them that their job is to find new ways to say "Nein!" and sooner or later they'll start eating their own.

Tomas O'Shag said...

All Scots are drugged out...
its their nature.

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