Sunday, 20 September 2009

Pushing the boundaries of education

The British Council, who incidentally the government themselves claim as the very definition of a tax payer funded quango, are offering a new course for teachers of 'essential english', to celebrate the 75th anniversary of their mission to teach English to those who wish to integrate into the UK.

It is called 'Texting for all' and their site now provides support for teachers in what 'is becoming an increasingly popular form of communication in the UK'.

Those who wish to live a useful life in the UK and not be a burden on the tax payer are to be taught how to communicate with the locals in short SMS bursts such as KOTL - which is txt spk for 'kiss on the lips'.

W8 4 ME @ BNFT FFC would be a useful addition to this course.

A £1 donation to the quango of your choice for the best suggestion as to other txt phrases that could be helpful for integration.


captainff said...

- c==8

My favourite emoticon

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Is this so that the immigrants' spelling won't show what is lacking in the British education system for the indigenous population under Labour? Literacy, numeracy, language skills etc.

Anonymous said...


insert-coin-here said...

d0v3r Iz d4t w4y bLud...>>>>

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

Post-its or GTFO



c==<8 :( (Teabagged)

john in cheshire said...

I can't understand the txt speak above. or the emoticons. But then I'm English, not some surrogate british entity that has been repeatedly told and therefore thinks it is equal to me.

Fidothedog said...


T' old 'un said...

I suddenly realised, only yesterday, after catching a glimps of some "Earnest and Wellmeaning" exercise in wasting the licence payers money, that our education system took the wrong road by "making learning fun" instead of "making learning interesting".
Learning is not fun, but it can be very interesting.
We have all learned an enormous amount recently about politicians. That has not been fun, but it has been very interesting.

black hole sunset said...


Not that I can do either with any facility; but, ffs.

White Cloud said...

Real learning IS fun AND interesting.
A child - and even a sane adult - if not externally hindered, learns all the time.
Hindering people's learning is all that government schooling has ever done since its inception. And it's no accident either. The millions of well-intentioned people who collaborate with this scheme are "useful idiots".

hangemall said...

Never mind txtng, how about a bit of simple arithmetic?

Let us suppose in a low-turnout election an MP is returned with ten thousand votes. Let us assume a pint of beer is around two pounds fifty. There is no need to assume that there are fifty-two weeks in a year.

Now let us multiply these together.

10,000 * 2.5 * 52 = 1,300,000.

One point three million pounds!

If only one tenth of those who voted for the MP donated a pint of beer's worth of money a week that's still 130,000 pounds per year.

No need to pay these useless, corrupt, lazy, incompetent, time-serving arselickers out of public funds.

They can get what they need in terms of salary, pension, expenses, subsidies, sllowances, stipends etc etc from their own supporters.

If they displease the voters, the voters will withdraw their money.

If they please those who didn't vore for them, they might get even more money.

Of course, I can hear the guffaws from those who don't give a shit about their constituents and who would never vote for such a thing, just as I can hear the guffaws of the voters at the thought of paying directly for the present lot who hold them in such contempt.

The thing is, the voters are indirectly paying for them anyway. What do the voters have to loose?

(O/T I know, but this has been brewing inside me for a while.)

Anonymous said...


caesars wife said...

cant wait for parliament in 2020

mr speaker "mr jizzy basement drum & bass"

mp stands " Is it right that u iz going to put de cost up of imported crack pipes"

govt "we iz not puttin up da price of crack pipes , we iz investing "

mp " az he knows many of my enterouge that votes for me , enjoy a bit of relaxin peace pipe with me julie and they is not appy at what you is doin to there weekend "

govt " the man iz well aware that crack pipes ave not increased in price for 5 years and he need to shut his mowth or he be getting a taste of me gold plated magnum , boom shackala"

Anna Raccoon said...

And the winner is Caesars Wife by half a furlong.......

And the quango you wish me to donate to is, Madam?

Fear not, I shall send them a French Euro cheque - it will cost them at least £3 to cash it!

caesars wife said...

I think you may have just summed up the ERM workings Anna Racoon

JuliaM said...

And after this, what next? A PhD in LolCat...?

Newgates Knocker said...

My daughter came home with her science homework. I looked at it and saw several spelling mistakes. When I pointed them out to her she said " Oh, my teacher is dyslexic, he said just tell him if any words are spelt wrong!"

(Shakes head in despair!!!)

Anonymous said...

Where da white wimminz at?

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