Monday, 28 September 2009

Perfect Branding

A brewery who were slated for poducing a strong beer have decided to fight back. They have now released a piss poor, watery bottle of shite at 1.1% that no fucker will touch called

Good for them. More please. This could be a national brand for anything the bastard state wants to decide on your behalf what you want.


Hairy Arsed Bloke said...

I think there IS a market for a low gravity beer. For a start there are drivers. Then there is the lunchtime market. I enjoy a pint, but on medical grounds my intake is very limited.

If the brewers and pubco’s thought about this properly and marketed it correctly then they may find whole new sources of revenue.

GCooper said...


Now let's have more of this. Filling stations showing a precise breakdown of who gets what from each gallon of petrol.

Supermarkets telling the government to piss-off when it illegally instructs them to stop selling incandescent lightbulbs.

Electricity suppliers showing on the consumer's bill how much of the price he is charged is going as a supplement to eco-lons on the fiddle with their ridiculous wind farms.

It's not quite Ayn Rand, but it'd be a damned good start.

JPT said...

They'll get locked up.

Simon said...

Over at Taking Liberties they've taken to calling it the Bully State rather than Nanny State. "Shower of Cunts" is a nice encapsulating phrase which covers the lot of them.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of an old joke.....
Why is drinking Watneys like making love in a punt?

Fucking close to water

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Off topic, but anyone seen this?

Thoughtmantle said...

And if you are unlucky enough to encounter one of the diminishing band of Labour die-hards you can now be magnanimous and buy them a bottle of this gnat's piss to drown their sorrows - or drown in.

Katabasis said...


I'll be buying some Nanny State as soon as its available.

I never thought I'd say that.

Gordon Is A Moron said...

I would like to say that this beer conforms to my values, as a piss-poor presbyterian unelected nanny-in-chief.

G. Brown

p.s. get me to number 1 in the charts for the election.

swindon_alan said...

Fucking brilliant Brewdog.

Let's have a few more special beers, like:

Peter Mandleson Ale (pink and looks and tastes like a cunt)

One Eyed Snotgobbling PM (green and smells and tastes of piss)

NHS Power Ale (0.0000000000001% ABV)

Thieving Bastard MP Beer (costs £120k a bottle)

Sheeple (65 million bottles produced, all looking the same and made of pure water, not brilliant ale)

Custard said...

@HAB. If you are driving, just don't drink anything alcoholic at all. What's the point? There are already low/no alcohol beers out there - Kaliber, Bitburger etc.

Fair play to this bunch for stating a point, though.

Warsteiner said...

Shit, next the return of Watney's Red Barrel - think I'll stick with Special Brew

wv Coloa EH?

hangemall said...

Sod the Nanny State. This is how we should be able to look after ourselves:-

caesars wife said...

only costs 100% of GDP bargain !

deeznuts said...

i love brew dog beer, their beer is strong...but it also costs more per bottle, and they make some beautiful beers, chaos theory is a fine ale,and so is "dogma"..brewed with cranberrys, you get a lovely fruit/hop taste

its the fucking 24 cans of stella for 9 quid that you pick up in tescos that is the problem,

go to any beer festival and talk about brewdog..they are very respected

Dear Prime Minister said...

I would have preferred an anti-nanny state ale at oh, about 10%.

I would hate 1,1% to become the new standard.

AntiCitizenOne said...

> its the fucking 24 cans of stella for 9 quid that you pick up in tescos that is the problem,

No it's fucking well not.

It's the people who drink all 24 cans and get shitty. They need locking up, not everyone else being banned from the booze.


deeznuts said...

"It's the people who drink all 24 cans and get shitty. They need locking up, not everyone else being banned from the booze."

seriously, 24 cans for 9.99...or one bottleof brew dog tokyo (18%) for 10.99, what is the fucking numpty on 64 quid a week going to go for to to get all tanked up ?????

24 can for 9 fucking 99, cheap beer does fuel "binge drinking" whether you like it or not.

AntiCitizenOne said...

So you'd like to ban petrol to stop speeding?

People are responsible for their actions, not objects.

our drink is expensive said...

I've always found beer and spirits to be a lot cheaper abroad and have never seen any trouble so cost isn't the problem. Lack of discipline and lack of any deterrent is the problem.
If yobs were locked up for drunkeness and kept in jail until a fine was paid then I'm sure they wouldn't re offend.

deeznuts said...

"So you'd like to ban petrol to stop speeding?

People are responsible for their actions, not objects."

who said anything about "banning"...i didnt

but 24 cans of wife beater at 9.99 is going to attract a certain type of

come for anight out in halifax where i live, it the idiots that have been drinking stella at 2 quid a pint all night that start the fights, i used to be one of them in my younger days, but i stopped drinking that shit because i was sick of the fights, cheep chemical riddled beer, look at the "chavs" drinking white lightening at 1.99 for a 2 ltr bottle, .

now do you hear ov trouble aftersomeone has had a night out on duval, leffe, or chimey ??? real, strong EXPENSIVE,you need "taste" to drink drinks like that, need no taste buds to drink mass produced witches piss like stella, carling, grolsch, carlsberg

go find out about brew dog.....they have the same ideas, the fucking nugget that has no taste will drink the shit that is cheap and has no taste,

this is what it say on the side of one of their beers "punk ipa"

"this is not a lowest common denominator beer.
this is an aggressive beer.
we dont care if you like it.
we do not merely aspire to the proclaimed heady hights of conformity through neutrality and blandness.
its quite doubtful that you have the tast or sophistication to appreciate the quality of this premium craft brewed beer..........just go back to drinking your mass marketed, watered down lager..and close the door behind you"

again, i didnt say any thing about banning,

i was trying to point out that the uproar about their beer, and the media claiming the an 18%proof beer that costs a tenner a bottle isnt going to fuel "binge drinking"...but the cheep 24 cans for the cost of 40fags does...and i dont let that wife beater past my lips, pay a little more...get great tasting beer..i dont want to ban it,
but your "townie" doesnt drink 20 quid bottles of faustino I gran reserv 1996 on the street corner do they ?????, they cant afford it

Junican said...

If you are a grown up person, you drink what you want, you eat what you want and you smoke what you want. You do not need Nanny State to tell you what to do.

Grow up, Deeznuts.

Anonymous said...

All a publicity stunt, and it has worked. Full media coverage and no advertising bill. Genius!

Now what about the trouble those Champagne socialists have caused, eh? Price has no impact on them, cos its just charged to the taxpayer anyway.

Anonymous said...

If it's free publicity someone wants what better than demonstrate against the mother lode inspiration of nanny state laws, the smoking ban.

Some cig company or smoking-rights group could make out a "Nanny Brand" pack of fags and do so out of cement.

Can't be lit, can't be smoked, shan't be no secondhand smoke and won't be of use for the intents purposed.

That should get some attention going me thinks.

Road_Hog said...

It's already up for sale if anybody wants one to lob at the PM.

Mandelson's Gerbil said...

The amount of Chavs' is proportional to how well they are treated by the Police after causing trouble.

Giving a lairy dickhead some well earned time with the angry stick is much more effective than hugging the dysfunctional fuckhead and giving him/her a social worker.

Rogerborg said...

I'd send a bottle to Number 10, but you shouldn't mix alcohol and painkillers.

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