Thursday, 20 August 2009

97.5% Pass Village Idiot Test

A real GCSE question.


What a joke.

I can only assume that there is a master plan to get all of our children in "university" so that they are saddled in their early twenties with £20K debt and no real qualifications to actually get themselves out of debt - a bit like the country actually


Idiots. A generation of children doomed. Monobrowed downs syndrome kids clutching a fistfull of worthless certificates demanding to be fed, housed and clothed by the State because the position they trained years for, namely Footballers Wives Fingernail Technician and Braiding Consultant doesn't actually pay £100K a year. - The Holbornettes are studying for the International Baccalaureate , not A levels

Down's Syndrome Boy passes 8 GCSE's. Really.
UPDATE:
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000. His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price.
What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000. His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price, or £800.
What is his profit?
3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000. His cost of production is £800.
Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000. His cost of production is £800 and his profit is £200.
Your assignment: Underline the number 200.
5. Teaching Maths In 2008
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is totally selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £200. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. If you are upset about the plight of the animals in question counselling will be available)
6. Teaching Maths 2018
ألف مسجل تبيع حمولة شاحنة من الخشب ل£ 1000. وقال إن تكلفة الإنتاج 80 ٪ من سعر البيع. ما هو الربح له؟

17 comments:

Field Marshall Watkins said...

This reminds me of those stupid SMILE cards we had in secondary school. You had a workbook with problems in it, and the answers were printed on cards in another box.

Looking up the answers isn't cheating, apparently.

And to think some kids still failed.

That is after they split the class into Upper, Middle and Lower (the doughnut) classes, I kid you not.

Anonymous said...

I bet some students put their hand up and explained to the invigilator that there was no correct answer as the answer should be infrared and ultraviolet.

Marchamont Needham said...

Despite having done bugger all for the last two years except play computer games into the early hours, my indolent little sprog got into Uni today.

If the idle little bugger can pass after behaving like that, then either he's a genius or the exams are truly worthless.

erm... congratulation Son.

A.B. Gordon said...

Happy Ramadan to all our readers.

Perplexed said...

I have just returned from a driving test centre where I witnessed the total inefficiency of the lower levels of UK government, that aside in the test waiting room was a huge poster with a picture of two burkha clad post boxe females at the bottom - Ah, I thought, must be something to do with removing veils for licence photos, of course not, stupid fucking me - 'free translators are avialable for your test if you cannot speak or read English' ???

If you cannot speak or read English how will you read fucking road signs?! Will a free translator be available then?

Christ Almighty, I have made up my mind to leave this Septic Isle

SaltedSlug said...

To be fair, the Down's kid 'passed' Maths with an F.

Didn't F used to mean 'Fail'?

Can you even fail any more?

Anonymous said...

I don't know where I saw this originally, so H/T to Anonymong (I modified the Arabic bit slightly).

1. Teaching Maths In 1970

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000. His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price.
What is his profit?


2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000. His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price, or £800.
What is his profit?


3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.nHis cost of production is £800.
Did he make a profit?


4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000. His cost of production is £800 and his profit is £200.
Your assignment: Underline the number 200.


5. Teaching Maths In 2008

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is totally selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.

He does this so he can make a profit of £200. What do you think of this way of making a living?

Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.
If you are upset about the plight of the animals in question counselling will be available)


6. Teaching Maths 2018

ألف مسجل تبيع حمولة شاحنة من الخشب ل£ 1000.
وقال إن تكلفة الإنتاج 80 ٪ من سعر البيع.
ما هو الربح له؟

DZ

Ivor Bigot said...

Exam results really are the tractor production figures for NuLabour. I managed to do a comparison of Maths A-level papers a while ago, about 15 years apart. The difference was staggering. It's not just the lack of intellectual effort required, but all the socialist propoganda that has crept in.

My daughter is still only a toddler, but already clearly bright as a button. When I think of her going into the state school system, I can hardly breathe. I'm sure we'll be emigrating before too long, even the politically pig-ignorant Mrs Bigot is starting to realise what's going on...

electro-kevin said...

I failed maths and physics 'A' levels in 1983.

I passed an 'A' level in law ten years later.

It took me ten days of 'study' using a cheat book from WH Smiths.

The pass rate is an utter joke.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

The teaching maths thing is mine from a post a few weeks ago, you thieving gypsy bastards!

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Here's the link to the original, (and better), teaching maths...

http://rantinrab.blogspot.com/2009/07/teaching-maths-throughout-years.html

Anonymous said...

Rab...
not a thieving bastard from you, anyway. I copied it from somewhere (anon H/T) 0n 26th March. Prepared to admit I like your additions to anon's work.
But what about an acknowledgement of my fancy footwork with the Arabic (courtesy Google Translate hmmm)
DZ

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

To be completely honest it's not my work at all, I got it via e mail from a mate!!

no longer anonymous said...

Yikes! I did my GCSEs back in 2000 (long after the dumbing down had begun) and I don't recall us having anything that absurd. Things must have got really bad in the past decade.

microdave said...

I spent an agonising minute or two looking at A,B,C & D thinking "Shit, I should know the answer to this". But something didn't seem right. Only then did I notice the chart above.....

Sorry, but in my day it was standard practice for multiple choice questions to have one correct answer, one NEARLY correct answer, and two wrong answers, thus forcing you do the calculations or whatever to find the right one.

Does this make me the Village Idiot, or has the education system been seriously fucked up??

Anonymous said...

27th year in a row improvement in results!! So why aren’t educationalists around the world flocking to the UK to copy the British Education Miracle?

Grade inflation started under the Tories, and of course Labour kept the scam going. For both parties, it is a useful charade to disguise the disaster that is the British education system.

Rogerborg said...

Like microdave, I too missed the answer-key the first time round. I guess our old fashioned "learn and think" education has left us sadly unprepared for modern life.

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