Thursday, 2 July 2009

Minimun Income Calculator

Hello! Are you poor? Have a banana. I am VERY rich you know. We all are now. Well, not you obviously but us. In New Labour. Chortle

In a very shrewd political move, a new calculator has been introduced to show us all how poor we are (in other words, how much MORE we need from the State). Labour list are up in arms of course.

Now that everyone feels more vulnerable, maybe we’ll start thinking more carefully about how to move towards a minimum level of protection that genuinely reflects people’s needs.

You fucking bastards. What you really mean to say is tax people even more and give it to the millions of feckless oafs we love to feed, clothe and house in return for a vote.


My response is that I would suggest the very minimum someone needs to survive in our society is a decent education, two parents, some discipline, knowing the difference between right and wrong, self respect, responsibility and ambition.

No wonder that after 12 years of New Labour, nearly one million NEET’s are being paid to sit on their arses all day drinking Stella and watching Trisha.

Education – Dumbed down to the level where even the mentally handicapped can get GCSE’s. Really. Here, have some certificates Johnny, you really did try to behave in school and only stabbed a few people

Parenting – You name it, Labour have done it. Gays adopting children, single mums passport to free housing, tax credit bonuses for one parent families. Broken homes everywhere.

Discipline – Vanished. Gone. There is none. So we now have Police in schools, PCSO’s asking drunken teenagers to behave themselves and 12 year olds beating people to death for “dissin’” them.

Morals – Gone. Vanished. Want to beat up your girlfriend? Go ahead. It’s a cultural thing, we understand. Fraud? Help yourself, we do. Grab it quick, it is your RIGHT!

Self Respect – Now earned by owning the most guns, knives or bling.

Responsibility – Nah mate, ain’t my fault. No one EVER gets the blame anymore. “Lessons will be learned”

Ambition – Footballer, lottery winner or Big Bruvver contestant.

12 years and look what you have done. You will retire to your lovely cottages on enormous pensions whilst your victims still sit, uneducated, criminal, too stupid to think, sucking on the teat of the welfare state in their festering social housing built by Labour funded Guardian reading architects who now live in the Dordorgne, far far away from what they created. Millions and millions of welfare “clients” too scared to change a thing in case they lose £20 a week fag money.

YOU enslaved them in poverty. YOU did it. New Labour. Not the filthy capitalists who hog all the A Levels, not the right wing “nutters” who want their kids home before dark, not the Liberals who insist their children sit at a table to eat a meal instead of eating off the floor in front of the telly at Nans because Mum is going out with her new boyfriend tonight after cashing her Giro.



Constantly Furious said...

* applause *

Gettin' it said.

Ivor Bigot said...

All valid, and it's education that really makes me so very sad. I never believed Toni's "Three E's" for a moment, but to then systematically screw it up to this extent is quite beyond the pale. It's easy to dismiss current school leavers as thick, but they're not, they just haven't been stretched to anything like their potential. Millions of them. Fuck.

More and more university engineering faculties are having to put their UK students through remedial maths classes, just to get them up to speed with their overseas peers. That's when they don't just dumb down to match. Our company hasn't employed a young UK engineer for years, they're all foreign (and good!)

Sorry, pet peeve :-/

Newgates Knocker said...


But it's the fact that they throw so much money at the problem they created, and only make it worse. Every strategy that they think up magnifies the problem. I taught all my kids to read before they got to primary school, as my parents taught me, just basic phonics. I cannot believe that there are so many children out there who can't respond to this method, They can't all be dyslexic!

Custard said...

Very well said OH.

Anonymous said...

Credit where it's due, OH. That post of yours on LL was one of the best I've seen! Keep sticking it to them.

JD said...

Trouble is these cunts think a need constitutes a claim.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Eloquent, accurate. Pure class.

Dazed and Confused said...

I couldn't help but notice the irony in that, directly above your comment on Labour List, the odious little tosser Tom Miller had left yet another banal comment in regards to his own New Labour ideology.

"What we need is"....Said the despicable little side kick of Derek Draper in the smear gate farce. A vile little cunt who has recently Shut Down his own blog to anyone other than his party faithful.

Right wing thinking or his? There in a nutshell for all to see!

Dick Puddlecote said...

I had a play around with that calculator - I put my and Fanny P's earnings in and it broke, saying:

Calculations are only valid for earnings below the higher tax rate threshold (£43875)

So, I replaced my earnings with 42,000 and it returned a weekly excess of over £200. Apparently, according to this gadget, that is enough for a "Minimum Standard of Living"!

So, with this calculator, no-one can possibly be comfortably off.

Do you think they might have an agenda?

Anonymous said...

Thats what they have done.

Its Criminal.

Harri said...

"because Mum is going out with her new boyfriend tonight after cashing her Giro."

I remember the 'good old days' when there talk of a " lost generation" thanks to the righteous and the Labour fuckwits , the UK is now facing two, three, four? ' lost generations...

England is now fucked up beyond all recognition?

Anonymous said...

I tried the calculator - it said I needed nearly another £200 per week to meet my 'committments'. Where the fuck am I expected to get that from? Mugging OAPs? Drug dealing?
Who created the calculator? It seemed to be a tad coy about things like that.

caesars wife said...

your right OH , they have done somthing truly terrible , and taken away from ordinary people somthing that was not theres to take .
The youth unemployment is tragic more so in the light now that wonk land pensions report has come to light , in that people will have to work until 70 , those gold reserves would be useful now i think !!

Labour will have them chanting emo rebellion songs until they die of drug or alcohol poisening or hopelesness .

i am so looking forward to seeing these wasters out of office tey have robbed us blind

Sugar Tits said...

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly:

"One bastard goes in, another one comes out."

We have had quite enough - those at the top know it - so they offer us an alternative (age old Roman tactic) the baton will be passed on to the tories, and we will feel relieved for a short while.

Nothing will change. The conservative party will continue with our shadowy oppressors agenda.

Anonymous said...

OH - I was interested to read your post and its responses on Labourlist.

I agree with what you've said, but they do raise the good point that most of the damage of socialism was already in place before Blair showed up. The welfare state has been wrecking lives for most of the 20th century. It is easy to blame it on Nulab. But that also makes it easy for them to shoot your argument down, by pretending not to realise that the Conservatives have also been socialists for decades, and that there is no real difference between Labour and Conservative. It's probably worth attacking welfarism and socialism in general, rather than Labour specifically.

Interesting that one of them brought up the Poor Laws in support of their argument. I suppose you have read Bartholomew's excellent "The Welfare State We're In," which explains that the Poor Laws of the 1830s scrapped all benefits apart from the workhouse. Result: growth of the middle class, since there was no welfare system to keep poor people poor. I see that the Labourlist posters didn't mention this- strange, that.

banned said...

Excellent Old Holborn, perhaps you might consider a post as Daves' new speech writer.

In the Channel Isles they have no Social Security, Parish Committees look at cases individually and decide that Mrs. Nice Lady has lead a useful and productive life so here is quite a lot of money to tide her over hard times; Derwayyne Scrote however is deemed an idle feckless cunt and is told get a job or fuck off, you'll get no cash from us.

That seems to work.

Henry North London said...

Nice one OH Like it muchly

I did the calculator based on my small "pension fund raid" which I was surviving off before I managed to find work. I needed an extra £119 a month to be better off which coincidentally would have been JSA or Incapacity benefits.

The fuckers know how to screw you down

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