Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Was Bringing Voldemort Home Such A Good Idea?

Jonah bringing his old bum chum and arch enemy back from Brussels was hailed by some as a bold master-stroke.

Others suggested that Lord Voldemort was not capable of changing his essential nature, of being a cunning and ruthless political operator only interested in advancing his own interests while pretending to be above the fray. The scorpion story was aired.

Now, 8 months later, Jonah's cabinet is in complete disarray, with resignations and recriminations and open rebellion against McBroon's rapidly disapearing authority. Voldemort is strangely silent, but it is rumoured he wants to be Foreign Secretary - after all, he has had to trail around after the Banana Boy trying to repair relations damaged by our completely inept Chief Diplomat.

If I had a tenner to spare I'd trot along to the bookmakers and see what odds I could get on Voldemort becoming Leader of the Labour Party within the next 12 months.

The Penguin


Anonymous said...

I suppose it would attract the pink vote. But a lot of bigots still condemn buggery and rimming so this may count against him.

Ladbrokes said...

Speaking of bookmakers they have stopped taking bets on the BNP getting MEPs elected

They almost never fuck these things up

Andrew said...

When did we last have a Foreign Secretary in the House of Lords?

Chris said...

@Andrew: Alec Douglas-Home, I think...

I can't see Lord Mandy of Hartlepool and Boys wanting to be PM. He can get all the wealth, influence and power he can eat without taking the flak that comes with sitting in the big chair.

The Penguin said...

Lord Carrington, I think. Did the decent thing and resigned over the Argies invading the Falklands. That was when we still had some politicians with honour.

The Penguin

lorinsp said...

I don't quite buy it. Mandelson's ambition to be Foreign Secretary stems from wanting to ape his grandfather Herbert Morrison.

If Mandy were stirring Brown would surely know about it. That would put Brown in a pickle - stay as PM and swallow his pride keeping Mandy onside with Foreign Sec. job, or go to the country *now* to spite Mandy's dreams. Brown doesn't seem interested in doing either.

aljahom said...

Mandelbum doesn't want to be leader, surely?


Anonymous said...

Whatever job Voldemort gets I hope it turns out to be a poisoned chalice. He's someone else I would enjoy seeing publically humiliated. not because he's a bender - I don't give a s**t who/what he sleeps with as long as it's consensal & over the legal age - but because he's a complete & utter jumped up self seeking lying little cunt, imo.

VotR said...


Lexander said...

Mandy shirt lifter is one of the most dangerous men in Parliament. Also, one of the most incredibly lucky buggers. How he has survived sex scandals to get the gravy job in Europe and now a job for life in the Lords? It just baffles me.

Jack Maturin said...

Mandy can make more money as Foreign Secretary, than as PM. He knows Labour's finished. So in the one year he is in the Foreign Office, he can whip around the world in the FO's new Lear Jet, and involve himself in hundreds of shady deals, before the game is up next May.

As PM, he'd have only a couple of months before he'd have to call an election, which would leave no time for shady deals.

Plus, he knows Labour's out of power for at least 10 years, so why immolate yourself as leader of the Labour Party?

No, the FO is the place to be. Just think of all those commissions you can get authorising arms contracts, oil contracts, and all the other goodies that the FO has to sign off on.

It's a gold mine.

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