Monday, 15 June 2009

BNP to ban African Swallows

Filthy foreigners with loads of kids taking the British for a ride, yesterday


In a shock announcement today, Nick Griffin of the BNP has stated that all non resident animal, bird, fish and insect species of the UK are to be banned from migrating here.

Huge taskforces of BNP loyalists will be mobilised to make sure that the African Swallow doesn’t get past the white cliffs of Dover and will be sent back to where they bloody well come from. Coming over here and eating all our proper British insects.

Plans are being drawn up to outlaw Eels from Britain’s rivers, cod from the bits of the North Sea we own and all eyes are watching a particularly hungry shoal of jellyfish that are drifting towards the Cornish coast from Portugal. Mackerel have been deported by the boatload by loyal British patriot fishermen keen to maintain a pure stock of weaver fish off Brighton pier.

In Scotland, the SNP have decided to headbutt any Ospreys they find.

“Look, it’s the same in bloody Africa you know. Let one wildebeest in and before you know it, they are everywhere. The smell of their cooking is awful” said one supporter.

WWF and the RSPCA have gone for a lie down. – AP NEWS
Meanwhile, not to be outdone by a bunch of UK fascists, Israel is reported to be deporting EVERYTHING that is not Jewish. Tables, chairs, bricks, trees, most hills and the whole sea including non Kosher beaches and nearly all clouds that drift over the border from nearby Gaza. "Everything is a threat to Israel. Really. Everything. Even the Sun" said Rabbi Zionbergerstein from a small hole in the ground yesterday.

26 comments:

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

You'll need some handy hints if you're gooing to live abroad...

http://tinyurl.com/nvp7ee

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

going, even....

Anonymous said...

Don't worry OH. These are British Swallows coming back from their winter holidays in Africa.

Anonymous said...

The bastards!! Will owners of African gray parrots now have to repatriate them. I hope the UAF and searchlight will give us more onfo on this issue. I'm sure they will.
And what about Persian cats?

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

I've got a scotch egg in the fridge. Hope that's okay?

CuriArse said...

wtf?

Harri said...

Rab C. Nesbitt said...
I've got a scotch egg in the fridge. Hope that's okay?

15 June 2009 17:02

Rab C, its probably been in the fridge since the 60's ? so i cant see it being too much of a problem to be honest.

The Haggis, and the bastard Scotch egg, thats why Hadrians wall was built you know , the English did not have too much of a problem with the hairy arsed mini skirt wearing Highlanders ? it was the food... oh the fucking horror ! thats why Whiskey was invented , it was to take the fucking taste away?

Oleuanna said...

Well its about bloody time someone took some affirmative action...Well done Nick. I am a staunch believer in BNP policies...this new initiative celebrates their right to be in the EU...maybe next the UN?

Now I'm going to be waiting at the airport... the NF have been promising me a ticket for years. My time has come. It's about time we all went back to where we come from!!! (waves a fist)

Anonymous said...

thats why Whiskey was invented , it was to take the fucking taste away?

Whiskey has no connection whatsoever to Scotland and you would know that if you weren't an English faggot.

England: the country where any young man can grow up to be the queen. Or a queen, anyway.

England: global epicentre of weak men who like wearing women's underwear.

England: where the gibbering monkeys who inhabit the benighted land can't tell the difference between proper whisky and the Irish pisswater that goes by the name whiskey.

England: a total shite-hole.

Anonymous said...

Seriously the BNP is getting nuttier and nuttier each day!! BNP please come down near me and have a public speech i haven't taken a crap on anyone in a very long time.

caesars wife said...

that will be an end then to the metaphor "elephant in the room"

AnonyBNP said...

Pathetic, puerile nonsense. A bit like the basic tenets of Glibertarianism really.

I know why you're doing this - its all a part of some knee-jerk 'Look, I don't really support the BNP, you know' reaction to a few anti-UAF posts on your blog recently.

Grow up. You dick.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Wow, everyone's a cunt today! Is it national 'you cunt' day today?

Old Holborn said...

AnonyBNP

Pick up your full refund on the way out to start your own blog.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, this anti-BNP shite will not wash. The tories, Zanu, all play the same tune, and now your following suit. BTW, the BNP are crap as well.
But no doubt its all part of the left,right game.

Anonymous said...

Seriously the BNP is getting nuttier and nuttier each day!! BNP please come down near me and have a public speech i haven't taken a crap on anyone in a very long time.

No you must be referring to the Labour regime now THATS nuts!

Brian said...

I went to LabourList by mistake.

Oh no, it's the new right-on Old Holborn.

Anonymous said...

It always amazes me that so many individuals who consider themselves pro-freedom and anti-government have no problem with restricting freedom via government force when it comes to immigration.

When will you twats understand that the problem is not the immigrants, it's the redistributionist policies and restrictions on self-defense which are attracting the wrong kinds of immigrants? In a truly free society, absent these policies, any immigrants of the criminal or workshy persuasion would quickly perish by their own sloth, or by the hands of angry, armed citizens who don't have a tyrannical government preventing them from responding to crime effectively (ie with hot lead)?

Old Holborn said...

Anon,

I couldn't have put it better myself.

Anonymous said...

It must have taken ages to think that up OH. How clever and astute of you. And hilariously funny. Trouble is it's not even representative of BNP policy.

Anon 19.55 - it's all about balance and the balance tipped in the wrong direction a long time ago.

Tickle O'Ribs said...

What a crock!

Maturecheese said...

Yes Its funny and a lot of your blogs are very good but you seem to have a hang up with the BNP. As I keep trying to say, if one of the main parties got their snouts out of the trough and addressed the EU and all that it entails, the BNP wouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately I struggle with the Libertarian open Borders view and can't support it in any way.

M de Plouquenet said...

That is why we fought the Falkland (Malvinas) war. Albatrosses coming over, keeping penguins out of jobs, building nests, hassling chicks.

Oleuanna said...

Can't we just fuck the english out of the Uk?

Everyone else seems to get along with each other really well without moaning and uprising every five minutes...!

Just a suggesting...

Anonymous said...

Did you get that OH? Guthrum? Oleuanna wants to 'fuck the English out of the UK'.

I spotted this in a previous comment of yours Oleuanna.

".. the NF have been promising me a ticket for years. My time has come. It's about time we all went back to where we come from!!!"

I think you'll find that resettlement grants for ethnic minorities is an existing government policy that the BNP merely wishes to extend. Your lucks in. Fill in the form and away you go.

Just a suggestion.

Anonymous said...

You borrowed a meme I often recounted about the NPD (German fascists from the most backward former DDR mostly) lining up on the beaches of Mecklenberg Vorpommern to repel the invading migratory (and damned foreigner) birds.

Well done...great piece.

Ratings and Recommendations by outbrain

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails