Friday, 8 May 2009

Two Jags, Two Shags, Two Toilet Seats Prescott


Hasn't the lad done well for himself?

8 bedroom mansion complete with Mock Tudor (Taxpayer funded) Beams and crenellations, gold-plated pension, royalties coming in on the "auto-biography" (How I Helped Tony Not To Sack Gordon Whilst I Shagged Tracey And Threw Up), plenty of consultancy work, speeches, and directorships to look forward to, plus undoubted there'll be appearances on the telly in I'm A Fat Politician Get Me A Pie or Have I Got Pies For You....

Shame he's so fat he keeps breaking the toilet seat, but you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs and you don't get as fat as Two Shags without eating a lot of (taxpayer funded) pies.


The Penguin

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have just asked him here

http://www.gofourth.co.uk/kill-this-tory-bill

how those beams assist him in fulfilling his role as an MP

Roger Thornhill said...

surely the Labour PPC list is "I'm a defrauder, get me into there!"

chronic said...

Two Chins

Anonymous said...

Sky have a copy of Gordon's cleaning contract. http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Politics/MPs-Expenses-Leak-Cabinet-Ministers-In-Spotlight---Gordon-Brown-Jack-Straw-Hazel-Blears/Article/200905115277543?f=rss

The maths would suggest he's paying for two person's cleaning bills, not one.

Shibby said...

Well you'd be an idiot to wonder why they didn't want this shit out.

Tory Poppins said...

Bet he's got a Chipolata c.o.c.k. tho! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Hope the cunt has a heart attack.

Anonymous said...

26 months @ 357.15 = 9285.90

possible combination
3 hours @ Andrew's flat = 2785.77
7 hours @ Gordon's flat = 6500.13
(presumably there have been other minor wage increases over the years to account for the £77 discrepancy)

How many people need a cleaner to work 7 hours for them in a flat? I'm sure it's not a small flat but even then...I can clean my whole house in a little over 2 hours. It would be interesting to see what has been blacked out. Also wonder why Gordon's flat is so much dirtier than his brother's. I didn't realise he even lived there...hasn't he lived in Downing Street for years?

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

What the fuck has Les Dawson got to do with it all anyway?

Details of a new sponsor for parliament over at my place...

caesars wife said...

bunker is now mobile , gordon spotted up north , giving prime of miss jean broodie presenataion to still destitute labour areas.

Harri said...

Two Jags two toilet seats two brain cells and according to Tracey two squirts Prescott , will require piano wire which has either been braided or is available in industrial strength ! the last thing one would want is for the fat useless thieving cunt to hitting the deck if the wire snaps, it will take weeks to remove the pavement from the mess ?

Swiss Bob said...

OH,

I just thought you'd like to know that our pissed up old alky of a Court 'n' Sport correspondent has given you a credit in his latest piece, Deck of Cards

Anonymous said...

no - there are three names on the contract. Looks to me like Gordo is paying the bills for two with the remainder coming from a third party.

Innit said...

Pigs with their snouts in the trough and their lardy arses breaking toilet seats at tax payers' expense. Kick these greedy useless fat retarded uselss parasites out - and use criminal assets seizure legislation to take back everything they have stolen and sell it at acution! Except the reamining toilet seat. Hang thatfilthy shit stained object around fat prescots kneck. Strip hi. Pull is stained underpants to below his knees. Soperglue his thumb in his mouth and make him parade through the high street of every town and city in the land while we throw double-yoker rotten eggs at him - two at a time. I've othe plans (far more fun) for Gordo and Blair and Smith and their ilk.

john in cheshire said...

I wish a few of the armchair executioners on this site would actually get of their lardarses and do the job, rather than just mouthing off about it.

Anonymous said...

Would this be the same John Prescott who was a communist shop steward for the NUS before he saw the error of his ways and got stuck into the trough with the rest of them?

INNIT said...

PRESCOTT IS NEW LABOUR'S POSTER-PIG. SO CUTE WITH THE TOILET SEAT AROUND HIS FAT NECK. WAS IT WOODEN - SO IT WILL BURN?

BigDai said...

Two Jags, Two Jabs, Two Lavs

Gallimaufry said...

That photo of Prescott was taken after the bandages were taken off the world's first arsehole transplant recipient.

Anonymous said...

Looks like the arsehole rejected him.....

Anonymous said...

Well, at least Margaret Beckett's claim for cosmetic surgery was money well spent.

electro-kevin said...

One seat for each cheek.

John in Cheshire:

There's no point in getting off our arses and doing anything. The country is fucked. Just by your question I know that you can't even begin to wonder why.

This blog is about catharsis.

Anonymous said...

still got a minute cock though

Gareth said...

Anon 15:18. I think the other person would be Sarah Brown.

Myopic Pete has a bit more info.

Looks to me like Brown has been getting us to pay for Sarah's cleaning for a long time.

Innit said...

Look to be fair - going forward - if Jaqui Smith is a Cunt we have to say what Prescot is. Now he's not a knob and according to rumour he's not even a willie so what is he? may I be first to offet that he's a maggot-winkle. Any improvements on Maggot-winkle?

Innit?

Anonymous said...

microphallic would be the medical term

void comp said...

Prescott, a porcelain throne, bowels voiding to a crescendo of roaring through gritted teeth.

Climax, a gust of nasal-rotting putridity. Grim, cloying, feculent, miasmic.

Papers cast aside, wild-eyed, fleeing as though heaven were in front and hell behind.

Overpowered, twitching, gagging.

IT IS DONE.

Anonymous said...

Disgraceful. And to think I'm a member of the Labour Party. Glad to see the back of him.

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