Tory trough time.

A prospective MP kissing a child.

The Telegraph now has some details of Tory troughing. From what's revealed there, Dai Cameroid needs to do some clearing-out before the next election. All those who have been building property portfolios on expenses have to be ditched. No exceptions. No letting your friends off. Ditch them all or you'll be hearing all about it, over and over again, in the run-up to any election and beyond.

This one though, seemed a little out of place:

Cheryl Gillan, the shadow Welsh secretary, claimed for dog food on her expenses. Last night, she said that she would repay the money.

I know the principle is the same, but just as I don't care about that bath plug, and despite having a laugh at the Home Secretary submitting a claim for porn films, I don't care much about those either, so I'm not too bothered about a few tins of dog food. Hell, the amusement the film story gave me was well worth the tenner.

Claiming for top range furnishings with money you've taken from people who buy their own furniture from the classifieds, fleecing someone struggling to pay rent so you can have yet another house for free, claiming for chauffeur-driven cars with money that's come from someone saving up for a train ticket... that's a whole different league to me. Fiddling a couple of quid here and there is naughty. Fiddling tens of thousands is criminal. Yes, I know, in the eyes of the law it's the same thing but I'd say a slap on the wrist will do for a bath plug, porno film or dog food. For the big troughers, it has to be the door, helped by big lads with no finesse. Of course, the bath plug case had more to it so she gets a slap and then the door.

Perhaps one of the most worrying one-liners was this:

George Osborne, the shadow chancellor, claimed for a chauffeur using his office allowance.

In the coming years, we are going to need a Chancer who is careful with money. Especially with money that's not his. Claiming for a chauffeur doesn't inspire me with confidence that we'll get one. Another spendthrift at the helm? Oh dear. What's Dai Cameroid going to do about that?

Mr Cameron said last week that claims by Conservative MPs that were outside the rules would be “looked at”. “They just have to explain themselves,” he said. “That’s what all my MPs are going to have to do, that’s what I will have to do and I think that’s what the public deserve – they are angry about it and they want it sorted out.”

Explain themselves? I don't see the need for explanation. I see a pressing need for a few summary dismissals, if you want your credibility back.

Do it, Dai. Go on. The Gorgon doesn't have that option because he's involved, and most of his troughers have already stated they won't be apologising, resigning or refunding the money. You're not caught up in it, so you can clean out your party in time for an election.

Will he do it? It would send the Conservative ratings soaring if he did, but does he have the guts?

It'll be interesting to see.

(I'm still not going to vote for you, Dave, because you won't do anything useful as far as I can tell).