An exceptionally oily fish, known as the First Monster of Scotland.
Al the Oily Fish says the expenses he claimed weren't his fault. The Evil System did it. None of his SNP MPs are to blame, it was Society wot done it.
MPs are being harangued in the street, even those few who have not abused the system. The public aren't happy, Fishy, not happy at all, and every time someone comes out with the 'within the rules/only obeying orders' defence, they get angrier. And angrier.
Dammit, man, you only had three MPs to worry about here. You don't even need them in Westmonster because let's face it, they can't do anything there and your numbers aren't likely to increase in England, are they? If you had the capacity for rational thought in among your £400-a-month pie habit, you'd have seen what you could do to Labour in Scotland with this situation. Three SNP MPs resign in disgust from Westmonster. Three bye-elections which you'd be odds-on to win. Massive kudos and plenty of slaps on the back from wild-eyed kilted madmen up and down the land. Think of all the free whisky you've missed.
Instead, the Oily Fish goes for the Brown Gorgon defence. 'It wisnae me, it wis the big boys and they ran away'.
What a chance, Al. What a ballsup you made of it.
You'll never get another one like this.