Thursday, 14 May 2009

I vos only obeyink orders, Jimmy, ye ken.

An exceptionally oily fish, known as the First Monster of Scotland.

Al the Oily Fish says the expenses he claimed weren't his fault. The Evil System did it. None of his SNP MPs are to blame, it was Society wot done it.


MPs are being harangued in the street, even those few who have not abused the system. The public aren't happy, Fishy, not happy at all, and every time someone comes out with the 'within the rules/only obeying orders' defence, they get angrier. And angrier.

Dammit, man, you only had three MPs to worry about here. You don't even need them in Westmonster because let's face it, they can't do anything there and your numbers aren't likely to increase in England, are they? If you had the capacity for rational thought in among your £400-a-month pie habit, you'd have seen what you could do to Labour in Scotland with this situation. Three SNP MPs resign in disgust from Westmonster. Three bye-elections which you'd be odds-on to win. Massive kudos and plenty of slaps on the back from wild-eyed kilted madmen up and down the land. Think of all the free whisky you've missed.

Instead, the Oily Fish goes for the Brown Gorgon defence. 'It wisnae me, it wis the big boys and they ran away'.

What a chance, Al. What a ballsup you made of it.

You'll never get another one like this.


Furious Student said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Furious Student said...

This pisses me off.

patesswe said...

'It was the system'!!!

This is troughing welfarism gone bad. Cannot, will not take any responsibility for their own actions.

There was nothing to stop MPs publishing their detailed expense claims themselves long before now. That so few have done so speaks volumes. They have been thoroughly institutionalised. Whether it is party or Parliament, they are wholly reliant on a top down 'authority' telling them what to do. It is time they listened to the ultimate authority - us.

As the FSA relied on bankers to behave rationally and conservatively, the expenses system relied on the decency of MPs to only claim what was neccessary. Epic fail!

Seemingly plenty of MPs knew the system was ripe for opportunistic troughing but did nothing or little to prevent the piggies from having their fill.

Let this not distract us from how badly we are served by Parliament and our representatives.

denverthen said...

These moneygrubbing pygmies are making us a bloody laughing stock abroad, too.

1979 all over again only this time - all of them are bastards.

Fausty said...

"Three SNP MPs resign in disgust from Westmonster. Three bye-elections which you'd be odds-on to win."

Damn, That's a good idea! It's not too late - he can have second thoughts...

Why don't you email him?

Luke said...

On a related note, Douglas Carswell is tabling a no confidence motion in Gorbals Mick:

subrosa said...

Dearie me OH how you offend the great leader of Scotland. Just for your info Alex Salmond doesn't eat pies, his preference is curry :)

The SNP need to be in Westminster if only to ensure that the dirty tricks brigade called the Westminster government don't pass laws which apply to us here but they conveniently forget to tell us about.

Haven't read what the rest of them are up to so will go and dig it out.

So don't forget, he's a curry addict not a pie addict!!

Leg-iron said...

In Scotland, we have chicken curry pies.

So Al can have both.

Mitch said...

You don't think they would risk losing the trough do yah? over something so trivial as "the right thing to do".

electro-kevin said...

"It was the system."

That's the answer for all sorts of failings from Baby P to immigration to ...

We need a return to times of honour, direct blame and resignations.

Anonymous said...

Although he is guilty i think his point is more to do with disassociation with the westminster government he does'nt like to adhere to.

“I apologise for us being caught up and being party, by our presence, to an expenses system which is clearly open to widespread abuse.”

which i dont blame him for.

Anonymous said...

To be fair to the Oily One he's only doing what most scots do, which is to suckle on the State's teat from cradle til early grave brought about through heart disease.

FFS, if you took away benefits and the public sector scawtland would sink into the North Sea tomorrow...

The cunts.

Anonymous said...


So GVA added per head being higher in Scotland than any part of the UK outside of London wouldn't factor into your assessment. I'm not sure why NI or Wales doesn't figure so high on your list of people to vent your frustration. I think your confusing Glasgow for the whole of Scotland as Glasgow twinned from Liverpool.

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