Can we not just blame it all on that Margaret Thatcher?The Penguin
Was that you?
Mick: ... and there were pitchforks, and flaming torches, nooses and men on horses with hurdles.Gordon: Where where the police?Mick: It was the police.
Martin: What do we do now?Gordon: I'm going to blame you.
Well I was a trade unionist. It's what I'm owed.
Arrest everyone? Would that work?Do it.
£62 a week dole? How am I supposed to exist on that?
fuck it. The games up here.Lets cut our losses, and get an eu sinecure apiece. No hassle and even better troughing.
Martin: Yesterday I saw tumble weed rolling across floor in the fees office. Tell your bastard MPs to keep claiming.
As the firing squad formed up in the background Speaker Martin was most astonished that he was refused an expenses claim for the blindfold.
I hope you claimed for that poppy. It's within the rules.
Can I claim the 5p for the poppy on my expenses,Mick?well,you could tell them you donated 50p,but I don't think anyone would believe you.Urban11
"Lend me a quid for a cuppa, Gordon?""Can I have a receipt?"
Gorbals Mick: I could murder a pint.Brown: Me too, whose round is it?Gorbals Mick: Joe Public's.
You go first!NO, no, after you.
"You're a cunt""So are you"Works either way 'round..
The one eyed cunt 'Right we arranged the death of Doctor David Kelly. Now it is down to you to waste the other 60m who now know that we are corrupt'The bent Jock cunt'Leave it with me'.
Martin to Snotty Jimmy, "which of us looks the biggest twat?"
It might be a good time to tell them about your " Vision " Gordon.That should calm them all down.
Snot Goblin: I’ve arranged for a plane out of here before they come to hang us. The tickets are 10M a seat.Gobles Mick: Fair enough, but I’m more worried about where to hide our money since you knobbed up tax haven secrecy at the G20 meeting.
It's the economy stupid!
Can I claim a blowjob from you on my expenses if you swallow
Gorbals Mick to Gordon Brown -"It's a times like this that I wish I could have the proverbial heart attack, not a big one of course, just a few twinges to get public sympathy. Then I could retire quietly and enjoy my lavish pension."
Whilst we're trying to cheer each other up..........POSITIVE START TO EVERY DAYTHIS ONE WORKS1) open a new file on your computer2)Name it Gordon Brown3)Send it to recycle bin4)Click "empty recycle bin"5) Your PC will ask you "Do you really want to get rid of Gordon Brown?"6)firmly click "YES"GOOD! Tomorrow we'll do Jacqui SmithUrban11
"Hey dude no seriously I got a good one - how about I apologise for ALL OF THEM - that'll piss Old Holborn off! Hey no seriously do you think they'd get mad if we made caffeine illegal? Do you wanna try it? Cmon try it"
We're ALL going to need moats now...
See you in Sheerwood forest, 6am, come alone, no dogs, be there........
http://electro-kevin-electro-kevin.blogspot.com/2009/05/no-to-eu.htmlJoin my campaign and pass the word on please.
Where's that bitch Hoey when you want to slag someone off?
Both:"Can we get away with passing the blame onto Blair."
"Ringo I got this sweet fucking diamonds heist""How do we go in?""Hard"."Fucking nice".Shaddup I'll distract 'em wid dis poppy"."NOBODY MOVE OR I'LL EXCECUTE EVERY MOTHERFUCKIN' ONE OF YA!"
Mike myers: its like an abuse of power the electorate just dont understand our problems.Primementalist: tell me about it why shouldnt i just cancel the GE.That would show them.What did you think of the bahamas?Mike myers: dissapointed at the lack of privilages i get over there may i motion a war.
Where's Damien McBride when we need him?
Mr Speaker: I don't know where the leak came from, really I don't.Gordoom: Are you sure it wasn't the upstairs loo?
Martin: 'Gordon! Take your finger out of my arse!'Flappy Fishface: 'Squeal, piggie!'
MM: it was nae me GB: it was nae me either , it all started in america
That smart fucker Two-Brains Willets has protected his ass by digging a moat on expenses. Unfortunately I filled mine in so the plebs are gonna get me.
Gordon: 'Oink.'Mick:'Oink.'Gordon: 'Oink?'Mick:'Oink!'
Gorbals Mick: "See you, Jimmy. I've done a great deal on some horse-shit for one of the tories. Do ye want some for your rocking horse?"
gordon...cmon let em keep doing it its the only thing propping the GDP figure up.
let the wind blow high,let the blow low DONALD WERES ME TROOSERS
'I smell fish.'
"Marbella? Villa with heated swimming pool, chauffeur, gardener and maid/cleaner paid for by the party, aye, sounds good ... do Ocado cover Marbella?""I'll check that Mick and in case not I'll find out from Milliband exactly how big the diplomatic bag going to Spain is, and how often...""It's tempting ... I'll check with the missus ...."
I think we're fucked!
I don't think they believe us anymore.....
Martin"cunt cunt I've pissed myself"one eyed cunt"so it's not just me who does that"
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