Saturday, 9 May 2009

Appeal - Looking for a pig farmer in the South East of England


If any of you is or knows of a friendly pig farmer with transport for 30 pigs who would be willing to be on national television, outside the Houses of Parliament next week, please contact me. This is a serious request.


56 comments:

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Stunning OH! You are a genius.

K. MacEgan said...

"If anyone is looking to get the shit kicked out of 'em by a dozen "brave" plod please...you'd last as long as a punter dressed in SS uniform going to shul bubbalah!

Old Holborn said...

"If anyone is looking to get the shit kicked out of 'em by a dozen "brave" plod please..."

I am.

Leg-iron said...

It used to be common, not so long ago, to drive pigs to market through the streets.

Worth checking whether that's still legal. I don't know if any specific law has been passed against it.

It might still be perfectly legal to herd pigs through the streets. In fact, if some very old laws are still in existence, the pigs might even have right of way!

Dos anyone know the current legal situation?

I know some pig farmers who'd be willing, unfortunately they all live in the north of Scotland. I'll put word around in case they have friends down south.

Dick the Prick said...

Make sure the piggies are alright bud - make it a grand day out for them. How the chuff have we come to this?

K. MacEgan said...

Leg Iron its so cute that you say "if its still legal"... Its a fucking police state so pretty much whatever they say goes. Poor O'H is going to get a hiding...and? The nation rises up in righteous indignation? Nope, the "evidence" will disappear and...well thats it basically. But good luck with your endevours I am trying to put the last touches to a Piss Bomb!

Anonymous said...

Comment from David Drew,Labour backbencher,the cunt,

'I don't like being called a crook. I just want to be a Menber of Parliament'

Yeah and I want an MP who represents me so fuck you sniffling little cunt.

Leg-iron said...

K Mac - it occurs to me that the current scare on swine flu will be the perfect excuse to put a stop to this.

Whether it's still legal or not to run pigs through the streets, the dim public will easily accept that the pigs represent a health hazard - even though no pig in this country has the flu, only people.

Still worth a try, OH, but watch out for the swine flu excuse!

Anonymous said...

O.H, you can use a fat ugly cunt who is alredy there?. Just leave the fat cunt a few blank cliam forms and the latest porn for the old man

Anonymous said...

Claim already (Oh what a dickhead I am)That is before I start the second bottle of wine.

Shibby said...

Old Holborn, PLEASE tell me you're being serious

K. MacEgan said...

K Mac thinks unto himself O'H has a point! Swine=swine, MPs=Swine.Gadarene?Will Our Lord (either O'H or Oboe?) herd them into the Thames?Rev 22.7.

Savonarola said...

I do not know any pig farmers.

If/when you locate one, I am happy to contribute to cost of transporting the pigs.

Mave said...

The very best of luck OH. You will need a pig transporting license (or whatever they call it now), else the police will stop you before you hace started.
I wish I could be there!

Warsteiner said...

Pigs are excellent at disposing of human remains - I think you've got an excellent idea there.

CryBaby said...

CAN I COME ALONG???

I'm serious.

CryBaby said...

The Pig Industry in the South East:-
http://www.nfuonline.com/x6271.xml

Or Pig Paradise in Berkshire?
http://www.pigparadise.com/index.php?submit=Home

I will support/endorse anything to get the scum out of governing this country.

If you arrange anything, I would like to come along.

Menelaus said...

OH you might find that a la Mark Thomas you need to get permission to demonstrate that close to the Houses of Parliament.

Much as it'd be ace to see V being nicked (and how that'd play on the BBC News24) it'd be a black mark.

Old Holborn said...

I'm not demonstrating. I don't need a "licence".

And yes Shibby, I'm completely serious. I have form

Sir Henry Morgan said...

Er ... OH, yes you do need a licence ... to move livestock through any public area. Even if you had a pet pig at home, and wanted to take it for a walk on a lead, it's still classed as livestock, so you'd need a licence to do so.

Sorry mate.

Old Holborn said...

ha ha ha

I need a licence?

ha ha ha ha ha

denverthen said...

Oh dear. Be nice to the piggies (the pink ones - not the filth) and have a nice time in jail.

See ya on the telly.

Sir Henry Morgan said...

I just told you the law, that's all. I aint too hot on abiding by the law my own self. But whoever provides the pigs might have to reckon on losing them.

Wouldn't Regents Park mosque be a better idea?

Stop Common Purpose said...

I like it, OH!

K. MacEgan said...

Not exactly major league now,O'H. Still I take my hat off to you. I don't actually have one. Except a huge Shlapka I bought in Moscow. For winter. Nice Red Army star.

Henry North London said...

Im going to have to get some jackboots and the V for Vendetta mask and hair and balaclava if I want to join you

I know someone who has one pig but thats not ideal for you...

Although if you want manure He has loads, and he'll load up a trailer with his JCB for free, rotted cow manure 3 hundred weight of it

Leg-iron said...

It's probably over-ambitious but...

Could you get 646 pigs, fit them with rosettes and an MP mask each?

Of course, to avoid stressing the pigs, you would fit the masks to their arses instead of their faces.

But then, that would probably constitute a protest.

Chrysippus said...

O.H. Looking at the revelations in the Sunday Telegraph it looks like you will need some Irish Bacon as well?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5301510/MPs-expenses-Sinn-Fein-claimed-500000-for-second-homes.html

Saucepan said...

alternatively you could go for the inflatable version (looks just like Jaqboots):

http://www.dressingupboxonline.co.uk/productmore.asp?prod=49

Anonymous said...

Can one get inflatable pigs? One/some filled with helium and let out with fishing line could get tangled around Big Ben or the HoP or some trees (especially if the line has some treble hooks on it, blunted).
depending on where they get tangled, it would take them ages to remove, providing nice photo opps for tourists and media.
In fact, I don't think it's illegal to walk around with a helium ballon yet.

Anonymous said...

If the end of the line is looped around a lamp post, it'll go right to the top and stay there out of reach.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Would a Freeman of the City Of Westminster have the right to move pigs around ?

caesars wife said...

could do it to pink floyd "money" definitely light the spliff !!

i recall there is a anual droving of sheep across westminster bridge , special man is given the task .

will you be running a spot the trougher competition !!

perhaps can you spot Boss Hog ??

best of luck with it OH although i would think you have lost the elemnt of surprise !! LOL

word verification: mingst (i kid you not)

Anonymous said...

Coals to Newcastle springs to mind.

Antipholus Papps said...

I imagine the 646 would be happier as pigs, in the manner of Ulysses's crew. Can you buy inflatable cunts?

Jon said...

650 pigs all worst troughers of 2008. Write MP name and election now on them. See if it makes the beeb and what transpires. Do it without consent. Cite lack of petrol to take them to an abbatoir somewhere. Auction the bacon for the libertarian party. I will help lead the pigs through the streets.

Pig kicking season in London anyone? Atrucker with balls and farmer with 650 pigs and massive bulls also.

Let's have a sandwich. Epic win as the kids say.

I thank you.

wv:equalibi

The Shyster said...

I am thinking that, as part of a protest, you could inflate the picture of "Jacqui Smith" in this post:

http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/05/dont-panicdont-panicdont-panic-two.html

Paste it onto a couple of lorries and then park it outside the Home Office for a few hours...

Anonymous said...

paste this link up for pig farmers and lorry drivers to see.

http://farmingforum.co.uk/forums
http://www.farming-forum.co.uk
http://www.countryside-alliance.org/

www.trucknetuk.com/phpBB2
www.thelorrydriversforum.com
www.lorrydrivertraining.co.uk
www.truckstopuk.co.uk/forum

Anonymous said...

you need a licence to move pigs, disease control and all that , you cant just take them for a stroll, well you couldn,t when i kept them

Anonymous said...

http://www.defra.gov.uk/animalh/id-move/pigs/, there,s a link for you

beness said...

Get a big inflatable pig.Ask Pink Floyd if they've finished with theirs.

Swiss Bob said...

OH,

Don't forget to go to qik.com and get live streaming installed on your mobile. If you have GPRS and choose the lowest quality settings I believe it will work fine.

Broadcast live and I'll host a live chat, better yet, get a few people to install it and cover every angle.

Sorry I won't be able to make it.

STOP THIEF –MCNUTTER LEGS IT

Anonymous said...

Muslims will take gross offence and we know how this country bows to their fucking demands.

You'll be stopped.

But it's a great idea I do hope you can make it happen.

Balding Nobhead Party said...

Dacre is a company man. Oborne is a company man. If they are making serious noises about bringing this government to an end then The Lizards have decided it is time to impliment the next phase of the conspiracy. All anti-government protests, stunts, riots at the stage are now helping The Lizards. Enjoy watching the careers of these grasping dupes crumble but don't kid yourselves that anything better is going to replace them.
The only thing that can lead to the emancipation of Britain now is the election of the BNP. This is because even now people see the LabLibCOn as legitimate political parties and not the ruthless commie EU proxies that they are, and so regretably, they don't burn thier houses down in the night. The BNP however are seen mostly as a bunch of budget brand nazi fuckwits and once in 'power' the people of Britain will treat them as such. You want to see a real uprising? Vote BNP

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Forget real pigs. Too much aggro. Helium-filled is the way forward. Buy a thousand, then let them off in London parks, fish-hooks attached for snagging in trees.

I wonder if it might be worth asking the HoC for some sponsorship towards this. If the cunts pay out for Tampax for a bloke, they might well help you out. Thick cunts.

If you decide to go the helium-filled way, I'm good for a hundred quid.

Mitch said...

How about we all fly a helium filled pig from a pole in our gardens to replace our national flag?

AnonyBNP said...

"The BNP however are seen mostly as a bunch of budget brand nazi fuckwits and once in 'power' the people of Britain will treat them as such. You want to see a real uprising? Vote BNP"

OK, fair enough. I don't necessarily agree with your estimation of the many decent people among the ranks of BNP members but I wholeheartedly agree with your position - namely that voting BNP is the one and only way of upsetting the apple cart and getting rid of the pigs.

You don't even need a BNP supporter to tell you this - just look at the way the whole political spectrum are lining themselves up against the BNP in the run-up to the Euro elections.

This fact alone alone should tell you everything that you need to know about the BNP - they are the real alternative.

If there's one thing the British public like its an underdog, and these cunts are doing an excellent job of casting the BNP in that light.

I think your choice is pretty clear on June 4th - you can either vote for more of the same or you can vote BNP.

Anonymous said...

Vote BNP? Not even at gunpoint. I had the unfortunate experience of being at school with Nick Griffin for a year. Not for nothing was he known to the vast majority of us as Nick the Prick. He spent most of his time recruiting for the National Front. Interestingly in a private school with 450 pupils he managed to recruit about 2. We were disgusted by him.

Mave said...

Sorry, the post above was not supposed to be anonymous. it went through unexpected-like.
For anybody who wants to do some checking the school was St. Felix, Southwold, Suffolk.

Henry North London said...

I have a copy of the BNP constitution in my hand

Its the worst piece of filth Ive had the misfortune to read, and believe me Ive read bad things.

Dont Vote BNP Vote Libertarian, The BNP would make this country isolated from the whole world and we would starve because we would have sanctions

Anyone got any pigs for OH?

Mavis B Sausage said...

HenryNorthLondon, I must confess I haven't read it, mainly because I do not want to have to bleach and brillo my eyeballs afterwards. Can you give us a few salient points please?

AnonyBNP said...

"Mavis B Sausage said...

HenryNorthLondon, I must confess I haven't read it, mainly because I do not want to have to bleach and brillo my eyeballs afterwards."

Brilliant. You haven't read something and yet you still believe that you will be disgusted and offended by it.

The establishment *craves* idiots like you.

This is a bit like that Brass Eye Paedophile special that caused such a fuss a while back ?

I remember Chris Morris saying that the reaction of certain public figures couldn't have been more perfect if he'd planned it.

The premise of the show was that idiots were getting het up about something they hadn't seen and various politicians admitted they hadn't seen the programme whilst still condemning it...

Mavis B, you really are a sausage. And a spoon-fed one at that.

And to think that you Glibertarians like to picture yourselves as radical free-thinkers who can make their own minds up about stuff.

Ha...

Sir Henry Morgan said...

Anyone care to point out the filth?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/bsp/hi/pdfs/BNP_uk_manifesto.pdf

Anonymous said...

Bits of the constitution:-

http://www.mattwardman.com/blog/2009/04/03/constitution-of-the-british-national-party-bnp/

It's not filth per se, but all this "Anglo-Saxons only" stuff is... weird. Turning to the manifesto, we find that it starts off quite sensible (although authoritarian) but by page 12 or so it's recommending apartheid as a solution to all the country's problems. So I end up agreeing with OH and his co-authors; people who vote for the BNP think they're voting for an anti-Europe and anti-immigration party, but that's not all the BNP is.

Matt Wardman said...

Pigs:

Winnie the Pig was allowed to have a trip to Downing Street last year:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7277133.stm

BNP:

The constitution looks set up for the party to be controlled by a ... er ... Fuhrer/clique. There is stuff in the Constitution about "democratic" control by votes at "General Meetings" etc, but no (as far as I can see) mandated mechanism for telling anyone that a General Meeting is going to happen, quorum for such a meeting, or requirement that the membership actually be represented at such a meeting in any systematic way.

In other words, a figleaf with built-in ways to negate "democratic" structures.

I'm open to being proved wrong, but that's how it looked when I read it.

curly15 said...

Any joy yet? Surely a savvy farmer can see the opportunities for some decent sponsorship.

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