Tuesday, 5 May 2009

2 bed flat in Maidstone for rent on Ebay




Greetings paupers!



I am renting out my "main residence", a lovely two bedroom flat in Maidstone facing Mecca (or so I am told) because I have managed to get a beautiful 4 bed house in Wapping, East London, (just 8 minutes from work!) which belongs to a housing association and has a very low rent for poor people.(I am actually very rich and a Baroness but don't tell anyone ;)).

Goodness Gracious me, the flat is completely unfurnished and covered in dust, has no fixtures or fittings at all and has never been lived in but has proved to be very very lucky for me, oh yes. I managed to claim £100,000 of your English pounds just by putting the address on a bit of paper and showing it to my employer! Maybe you too could have the same luck and good fortune too!
Anyway, rent will be paid by the tradional method of Parliament ( a brown paper bag, delivered by naked Balinese maidens to a secret address, hush, hush) and I expect you to impersonate me (fat, obnoxious, thieving, over opinionated sari wearing Labour femo-monster) if you should ever bump into a neighbour or nosey member of the public. It is none of their business how I spend their money is it?

No hanky panky allowed, no pork products, no DHSS or pets.

Contact details for questions:

Address:
Baroness Uddin of Bethnal Green, innit
House of Lords


London


SW1A 0PW


United Kingdom
Email Address:dewanj@parliament.uk
Office Telephone:
020 7219 8506
Office Fax:
020 7219 8602






32 comments:

Anonymous said...

let's introduce Sharia law and stone a few of the fuckers on Parliament Green.

ConstantlyFurious said...

I'm just as enraged by this story - see me foaming at the mouth here, if it please you.

Surely -- surely -- this is the winner for 2009? No-one is going to be able to be greedier, more hypocritical and just plain loathsome than this woman, are they?

ConstantlyFurious said...

Oh, and the papers have been saying some MP's may be "suicidal" when their expenses are published.

If they've done anything near as sordid as this, I'll be happy to hand them the rope myself.

The Penguin said...

http://therantingkingpenguin.blogspot.com/2009/05/another-piggy-caught-troughing.html

http://therantingkingpenguin.blogspot.com/2009/05/it-just-gets-better-well-worse-actually.html

You're obviously too busy casting aspersions at my grandchildren to keep abreast of current events, OH, or maybe your recent nuptials have softened your edge :-)

Best wishes
Brad Pitt

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Feeling suicidal? Let's get them booked into this workshop then -

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1177468/Dr-Death-holds-British-DIY-suicide-workshop.html

Plato said...

Very good OH.

Anonymous said...

THAT'S RACIST!!!111!!!!

BenS said...

http://property.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/property/article6223112.ece

I hope you're going to pay your £50

Lancastrian Oik said...

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ on a little purple tricycle. I can't take much more of this. What a fucking hypocritical bastard. I'm off to buy some piano wire.

Anonymous said...

Just done a search of Pravda's unbiased Politics 'news' web site for the phrase 'Baroness Uddin' and all it turned up was this shite :

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/talking_politics/1156690.stm

Are they trying to cover this up ? Or do they just think its not 'newsworthy' ?

Answers on a postcard...

Cato said...

Anonymous said...

THAT'S RACIST!!!111!!!!
05 May 2009 15:11


Are you saying that none of it's true then?

R Nosgrove said...

Brilliant! I wonder how long it will be before eBay pulls it.

Pound to a pint of piss she'll play the race card.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Does the houseboy come with it?

Anonymous said...

"Cato said...

Anonymous said...

THAT'S RACIST!!!111!!!!

Are you saying that none of it's true then?"

I *think* they were being ironic, Cato...

K. MacEgan said...

I am interested! Bandit country getting too hot, plus the Somalians want somewhere to land those AK74s. Its near Huntingdon too and I am going to make a house call.

Perry Neeham said...

Top notch OH. Funny as it is though it doesn't ease my fury at the noble baroness' shameless fraud and theft.

Lord Ahmed of Shagpile said...

This looks like just what I'm after. Ideal pad for a bit of jiggy jiggy with the latest intern.

Didn't get the full description as I'm driving up the M6 and ebay is difficult to read on the mobile at 90mph. Please text the details and I'll get right back with an off

Dick the Prick said...

Dear Baroness Uddin

Hiya - love your work, love it - you're an inspiration to both me and my family. Your fine and detailed work in ripping off the taxpayer has inspired us all to completely take the piss also - huzzah - ain't life grand or 100 X grand in your case - hee hee.

Anywho - must dash , crime doesn't commit itself, as you know.

Lots of hugs & kisses

Ricky

Roger Thornhill said...

And how did she come by that HA 4 bed HOUSE then, eh?

ConstantlyFurious said...

Roger Thornhill said...

And how did she come by that HA 4 bed HOUSE then, eh?Spitalsfield Housing Association (the organisation providing this dirt-cheap accommodation to the needy) Board of Management contains:

* Ala Uddin - Vice-Chair
* Faruque Uddin - Housing Officer
* Abdus Uddin - Assistant Maintenance Officer

Easy!

Anonymous said...

I'm fucking ripping at the thought of these self righteous,hypocritical hectoring thieves. Has any government been quite so sleazy or corrupt?

AnonyBNP said...

" ConstantlyFurious said...

Roger Thornhill said...

And how did she come by that HA 4 bed HOUSE then, eh?Spitalsfield Housing Association (the organisation providing this dirt-cheap accommodation to the needy) Board of Management contains:

* Ala Uddin - Vice-Chair
* Faruque Uddin - Housing Officer
* Abdus Uddin - Assistant Maintenance Officer

Easy!"

He's not making that up, either. Check it out here :

Staff Structure and Board of ManagementWake up, smell the coffee, get angry.... and then vote BNP !

Anonymous said...

We are going to go down in history as the most compliant, spineless, gutless, people that ever lived. To let this bunch of totalitarian cunts ruin our country and make us pay for it also. We need to hit the streets. We are being fucked over by a few hundred cunts.
Urban11

Chief_Sceptic said...

An email of praise (not) duly sent to the aforementioned parasite !

Dave H said...

Guido is running this and it's actually true!

Gordon's re-re...relaunching himself with a new school initiative. In the photo he is surrounded by swastikas!

What anm embarrassing twat.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8033388.stm

Anonymous said...

"Gordon's re-re...relaunching himself with a new school initiative. In the photo he is surrounded by swastikas!"

They've changed the picture! Tough I did see it earlier...

killemallletgodsortemout said...

FUCKING HILARIOUS, OH!!!!!

Well, you have to have a laugh, or this bunch of thieves will drive you nuts.

Cunts, all.

Anonymous said...

What a greedy cunt!

Chalcedon said...

"Not Guilty. It's me culture, innit?"

G Eagle Esq said...

Monsieur Lancastrian-Oik

I hope you're not blaming poor Jesus for this Shambles

I rather think that Jesus disapproves as much as the Rest of Us "Hoi Polloi" ["Ordinary Voters", in Standard English]

BUT Courage, mon Brave, Courage

Those who upset the Good Lord commonly find that He can actually do something about it .... eventually .... and .... (with the Help of the Heroic Mr Fawkes and the Daily T'graph) it may not be so eventually

I have the honour to remain your obedient servant

G Eagle

PS What are we being told by the Young Lady who operates Monsieur O/H's Word Verification :

oxylbefa

Is that Aztec ?

Anonymous said...

eBoy have pulled it.

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