Sunday, 19 April 2009

Who ate all the pies?

_45674755_spend_tax466x243
I found this pie chart riveting. It's not the sort of thing that would normally get me excited.

It brought home to me that we are spending almost as much money on keeping people on the couch at home (£173bn) as the combined sum for keeping them healthy (£111bn) and educating them (£83bn) to be fit for work.

Revenue from National Insurance, which was supposed to cover things like health and sickness benefit doesn't even begin to cover the bill.

On Wednesday, Alistair Darling will present a budget to parliament. Nothing would endear him to the public more than a truthful, commonsense, budget. (Some chance. Ed.)

By truthful, I mean stating what will be flipping obvious to all of us - that there are some things that the country simply can't afford at the moment. Like paying perfectly healthy, able individuals, to stay at home and watch the telly.

By commonsense, I mean stating that which any responsible parent would - 'I'm short of money this week, you'll have to do something to earn your pocket money'.

I have just returned from a week in England. It is the first time I have seen the UK for many years. I could not get over:

a) How fat everyone was - have you all put on five stone in the last five years?

b) How much fast food was being consumed, in the street, all the time - foot long sandwiches, hamburgers dripping in ketchup, bags of chips....by young and old alike. Do you not eat at home any longer?

c) How much of that food was wasted - thrown away in the street, squashed underfoot, consumed by rats and pigeons. Along with every kind of rubbish. Does nobody use a litter bin any longer?

d) How the shopping malls were crowded with people during working hours. Does nobody work any longer?

e) How many people seemed to be driving vast four wheel drive cars. Does nobody walk any longer?

f) How aggressive everybody is, jostling and shoving in the street, shouting to each other from a foot away.

Perhaps these changes have crept up on those of you who live in the UK - you don't really notice your own children growing, the aunt who has not seen them for a couple of years does.

So here are some commonsense suggestions for the budget.

a) No more sending the dole in the post. Dole offices to be sited at least five miles from anywhere. Walk to collect your.......

b) Vouchers that can be spent in a selection of shops that only sell fresh food.

c) Never mind banning the sale of knives, ban fast food shops. If you can afford to spend £4.99 on a foot long confection of mechanically recovered meat at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, you are a) not in full time employment, b) doing something in addition to collecting your £60 a week from the tax payer.

d) Stop making community service a punishment, make it a duty. Get a broom out to justify your Dole.

e) Tag everybody collecting the dole - the tag will sound an alarm if you even try to enter a shopping mall during working hours.

f) Ban four wheel drives from all city centres. Walk the kids to school. Walk to the shops. You don't need a utilitarian farmer's vehicle to transport a five year old, they're not dead stock, they can walk too.

g) Practice smiling, it uses muscles, it consumes calories. It will help, truly.

I cannot believe that the few people who still have a job in the UK are compliantly supporting this vast army of over fed, under dressed, wheezing, puffing, swearing, be-thonged, tattooed, sets of gargantuan thighs masticating their way around what used to be an enjoyable University town.

I would have asked them why they do it, but everybody with a job seemed to speak Polish and not much else.

(Just for the record - I may live in France, I may be disenfranchised, but I still pay UK income tax!)

55 comments:

embus said...

There is no reason for you to be disenfranchised, unless you want it that way.

Anonymous said...

The word "Ban" is a piece of Nu-Labour vocabulary.

I don't come to OH to read about Nu-Labourite bansturbation.

Go away and bring back Old Holborn.

I'd rather read about stringing up the type of people who like banning stuff. Or feeding them to pigs.

Anonymous said...

how come you still pay uk income tax? I've lived in France many years now too, but I pay my taxes and social charges to France. Do you "benefit" from the french system, re education for your children etc.?

Anonymous said...

You have shot yourself in the foot with this one... Moaning bout the UK system when your in France, unless your Domicilied in the Uk, which last time you wrote you moved your business to Switzerland?
I work for myslef, pay the shittin tax here, but I dont want to force upon the next generation "work ethics" which are frankly SHITE!

Anonymous said...

A lot of the benefits are paid to retired people and long term sick. You surely don't want them to starve do you?

The interesting one is the 34billion debt servicing bill. What will that be in 5 years time when interest rates are back to long term average and we have the second biggest national debt in the world?

electro-kevin said...

I work shifts so that's my excuse for being around at odd hours.

I am incensed by the litter and ugliness of our country and our people. I'm more incensed by welfarism which I see to be at the heart of nearly all of our ills.

My brother (on disability allwoance) married a single mum who's brought up her brood of three on benefits - two of those three have had children when they themselves were children. Both got housed by the council with benefits, furnishings, fags, mobiles, computer, transport, widescreen TV, PS3 (which, incidentally, my boys haven't got because we need to save up.)

The youngest of the brood has just turned 18 (has a three-year-old daughter) and not done a day's work in her life. Gran gets carer's allowance caring for the under age mother. Her son now gets carer's allowance for looking after his girlfriend who now claims to suffer from post natal depression. Bonkers. Utterly fucking bonkers.

The whole thing is very demoralising and Britain is fucked because of this. Politicians claim to have no knowledge of what is going wrong. They are lying. They deliberately pay and educate children to get knocked up.

My area all of a sudden looks like a shit hole. This is because a whole new generation of chavs has just come of age and they have nuffink ta do. So they make nuisances of themselves getting drunk in the street, grafittiing the place up general vandalism and theft.

The sooner it all falls appart the sooner we can begin to mend it. I utter loath having to pay for this shit. My nose is rubbed in it so much from day-to-day that I could explode any minute.

Sue said...

I don't somehow think that banning and tagging is going to help. That's the Stasi Labour way of doing things.

This is a situation that has come about because of the nanny state.

Dependence upon the state has to stop and people will get off their arses and do stuff for themselves, they'll have to, or live a meagre existence.

Kill the minimum wage and ensure people are not better off on benefits.

You and I both live in other European countries. Here, in Spain, we live much more from the land and buy local produce from local farmers.

We cook at home for our family and friends. We don't have microwave dinners in the supermarkets or a macdonalds here in town.

The one thing I do agree with however, is making people do something for their benefits or dole money.

Anonymous said...

On walking. Start 'em young.

Old Holborn said...

Anonymong

Will you shut the fuck up?

This post is by Anna Raccoon.My personal stance on the matter is eat yourself to death, sit on the sofa watching telly all day and drive the biggest 4x4 you want. Smoke, drink, be happy.

Just don't ask me to pay a fucking penny for it. Which is exactly what I am forced to do.

My business is in Swtzerland, I am here. Protesting. Making noise. Creating mischief. Being a pain in the arse to the 646.

Anonymous said...

We're fast in danger of becomming REACTIONARY TORIES.

Michael said...

The biggest concern to me was the £78bn deficit - if the UK was a business and had been doing what this govt has been doing for the past 12 years then I'd be bankrupt by now...

Anonymous said...

"Tag everybody collecting the dole - the tag will sound an alarm if you even try to enter a shopping mall during working hours."

Go the whole hog, and have them prepare the crematoria for "enemies" of the state.

Stinks of 3rdReich/STASI to me.

James Burr said...

"Tag everybody collecting the dole - the tag will sound an alarm if you even try to enter a shopping mall during working hours."

This has actually been plagiarised from the Labour 2010 manifesto.

Gordon won't be happy.

Pugwash said...

Personally I dont care where it's taken from. It FUCKIN' stinks. I last "signed on" about 7-years ago - it was humilated enough being unemployed, let alone being forced to pick up litter like some U.S prison chain-gang.

"Oh look theres nice "Mr.Smith from number 8, picking up that dog-turd"

U.S bollocks of workfare - Fuck off!

Anonymous said...

Anna Racoon, shove this shite where the sun dont sahine!

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

People can do what they want, when they want. Just don't ask me to fucking pay for it. Because the answer will be no.

Sue said...

Imagine how clean our hospitals would be if everyone just had to do a couple of hours a day for their dole?

Anonymous said...

Reasonable points apart from 'everybody'.
I'm not fat, I eat at home, don't drop litter, no benefits etc etc.

Anonymous said...

~Ejaculated by Anna Raccoon~

Ejaculated is about right!
If I were you OH, distance yourself from this zanu/Tory rubbish.

No doubt Anna leaves a tipple of champers in France! And it shows in this hairbrained article.

Tits-up said...

"Let them eat CAKE"
How radical..............
LieBore in new clothes

Cov-Mike said...

I think the aricle is supposed to be satrical. Instaed it alienates, and comes across as a bloody annoying! Sorry Anna, your "humour" is way off
track on this.
I deont visit Old-H to read such nonsence, be it satirical or otherwise. Reminds me of Der Sturmer - what a laugh (I think not!)

Old Holborn said...

Excellent

Some debate

Let's put some perspective on this.

I am a Libertarian. I am NOT a member of any political party.

Bottom Line

If what you do adversely affects my life, you are a bastard. I will never knowingly adversely affect anyones life.

I have one life. How I choose to use it or spend it is my business. As long as I do not adversely affect the lives the others, I may do as I fucking please until I die. And end up in the same place as Adolf Hitler and Mother Theresa, Ghandi or Ghengis Khan.

Dead.

I will defend hippies who want to live their lives as they wish in tents in mid Wales, I will defend weird cults living in Nevada. I will defend Eskimos when they eat whales. I will defend African tribes who fuck gorillas.

I don't CARE what you do. It is your RIGHT to do want you want. But if it affects me OR ANYBODY ELSE adversely, I am your enemy.

Now tear a strip off me.

Anonymous said...

Anna's observations are largely correct. electro-kevin points out that many people have to work shifts, but he seems to agree with the shitty state of this country, as do I.

I disagree with many of her suggestions though. There are huge numbers of people who are out of work through no fault of their own - effectively lumping them together with the generations who have no intention of working is the big mistake.

And as for smiling more - I can't think of any reason to at the moment...

Mr. Gorilla said...

OH..
'I will defend African tribes who fuck gorillas.'

What about my poor fucking arsehole, eh? You horrible bastard!

Anonymous said...

A silly and simplistic post.

caesars wife said...

cant get on fawkes ??

does his server crash at 1000 comments or is the news being supressed

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Nowt wrong with Guidos site. I can get on fine. Not that I visit very often.

Old Holborn said...

Guido's DNS has been under attack all day

Unite are Britains most powerful union

Lord Fondlebum of Boy has said "it ends now"

Just saying, like

Anna Raccoon said...

embus said... There is no reason for you to be disenfranchised, unless you want it that way.
***********************
Not true, you do not retain your UK vote if you declare that you are now permanently resident in another country. My fault for being honest! Unfortunately, you do not acquire a vote, other than for the equivalent of District council in France unless you are a French citizen. I don’t qualify for French citizenship even if I wanted to go down that route.

Anonymous @ 18.36
***********************
I have a UK income which is taxable at source. I don’t have to pay income tax on that in France as well under dual taxation rules. I also pay French taxes on other income, and social charges. No, I don’t have children, but do benefit from the excellent French medical care.

Anonymous @ 18.40
***********************
I think you are confusing me with Old Holborn. I have no connection with Switzerland.
You don’t have to be domiciled in the UK to be liable for UK taxes, unless you choose to be a tax exile, which I have no wish to be.

Anonymous @ 18.45
***********************
I wasn’t suggesting that the sick walk five miles to collect their money – I said dole, which is unemployment benefit.

Electro-kevin
***********************
I sympathise. I have a 48 year old ex-brother in law who has never had a job in his life and has lived on disability benefit since he was early 30’s on account of his alcoholism. ‘Tis a mystery to me how he ever afforded to become an alcoholic on his previous income of unemployment benefit.

Sue @ 18.51
************************
The banning and tagging suggestion was tongue in cheek..............

All the rest of the anonymongs who cannot see when a tongue is firmly in cheek
************************
You may not see a reason to smile at the moment, but at least learn to laugh at yourselves. Read suggestion g) again.


Old Holborn
************************
Agreed, I couldn't care less what other people do - unless they are 'working' for me - and since I and many other people are paying for this army - then I do care.
My points were made in relation to how much they are costing the country - and it cannot afford that cost at the moment; when it can, if everyone is happy to support them, then fine.

Anonymous said...

Fuck me. That sounds like "Blind Faith" by Ben Elton which was supposed to be the nightmare scenario which wouldn't happen for years. I didn't realise we'd gone so far so fast.

On the upside, these cunts are going to run out of money soon and will have no choice but to cut back on all this excess.

Man in the Street said...

Why does Mandy feel he has the right to say smeargate is 'over' (BBC). Who does the pompous fuck think he is?

Anonymous said...

Debate is asked for so debate you will have...

The Welfare State is a tough one for Libertarians. Yes, it's a monumental waste of cash but do we really want to get rid of it? Personally, I say no - what about all the poor fuckers who've lost their jobs due to Labour's incompetence? Do we just say, "You and your family can starve!"?

It needs massive reform though, which none of the mainstream parties want to do. Maybe limit dole to six months then say, "Okay, now you've got to do a day of Community Service to justify it. After 12 months make it 2 days, after 18, three. If you're till unemployed and not doing anything (Hell, you may be a cardiologist but get a job in a warehouse or driving or something - the world doesn't owe you a living) after two years Dole stops. No more long-term doleys. And an investigation into all the Invalidity claims, too. Some areas of Glasgow have 60% of working age people claiming invalidity benefit. What the fuck?!

As to your suggestions:

a) No more sending the dole in the post. Dole offices to be sited at least five miles from anywhere. Walk to collect your.......

(Can't see the point of this bit)

b) Vouchers that can be spent in a selection of shops that only sell fresh food.

(No. That is Nu-Labour through and through. We don't know what to eat so Nanny will tell us. Besides, it may only be £50 a week but at least as it's cash it goes back into the economy and keeps the pub, or the corner shop or the local Dixons in business).

c) Never mind banning the sale of knives, ban fast food shops. If you can afford to spend £4.99 on a foot long confection of mechanically recovered meat at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, you are a) not in full time employment, b) doing something in addition to collecting your £60 a week from the tax payer.

(Again, Nu-Labour. Tell me what's good for me, nanny!)

d) Stop making community service a punishment, make it a duty. Get a broom out to justify your Dole.

Good point. But not straight away. The genuinely unlucky (as opposed to the workshy) need time to get their affairs in order, to look for new jobs or start their own business. But after a while I can't see a problem with it. They're using my tax money to live (fair enough) but in return I get a clean street (fair enough).

e) Tag everybody collecting the dole - the tag will sound an alarm if you even try to enter a shopping mall during working hours.

Jacqboot is scribbling this one down even now...

f) Ban four wheel drives from all city centres. Walk the kids to school. Walk to the shops. You don't need a utilitarian farmer's vehicle to transport a five year old, they're not dead stock, they can walk too.

I hate four wheel drives and I hate the cunts that drive them. But if they choose to spend their money on those money-guzzling eye-sores then so be it. They'll be the ones paying £5 a gallon to do 9 miles, not me. If they don't mind paying through the nose for the "priviledge" of having those piles of crap then who am I, or you, to stop them?

g) Practice smiling, it uses muscles, it consumes calories. It will help, truly.

As someone else said - there's nothing to smile about.

Old Holborn said...

Anonymong @21.30

From a welfare state to a totalitarian state is just a matter of time

ask an East German.

Your house belongs to New Labour. Your job belongs to New Labour. Every penny you receive came from New Labour.

What are you going to vote?

Old Holborn said...

"There are huge numbers of people who are out of work through no fault of their own -"

Fuck off.

I'm not out of work. They are out of work because they refused to take responsibility for their own lives, so sold it to an employer, and he offered them a false security on the condition it made him rich. Then renaged on the the deal.

LOOK AND LEARN.

YOU are responsible for your wealth, health and life. Not me, not an employer and not the state.

YOU.That is Libertarianism.

It IS frightening. But it IS liberating. We've survived 2 million years on it. Why are we suddenly beholden to 646 fuckwits? WHY?

Anonymous said...

@anonymous 21:26:
these cunts are going to run out of money soon and will have no choice but to cut back on all this excessShould read:
"these cunts are going to run out of our money soon and will have no choice but to rapetax us until we all squeak"

Or emigrate.

Old Holborn said...

starve them

They can only rule us with OUR money

When they have no more, they cannot rule us.

so bastard simple

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

I have a friend who has been on incapacity for about 9 years. She suffers from mental ill-health, but mostly, her problems stem from being married to someone who is a registered sex offender, who is quite content to sit in front of his game station all day every day (and I'm not exaggerating!). He is the most work-shy waste of space I think I've ever met.

She spends most of the day watching tv and eating. She is now morbidly obese and has been warned by her gp that she is endangering her life.

She could easily do a part-time job as long as it wasn't too demanding. And as for him...well, picking up litter would be too good for him.

Instead, they've both got a victim mentality that life has treated them badly and they deserve more.

Yikes...

Old Holborn said...

Bingo

Sue said...

Sue @ 18.51
************************
The banning and tagging suggestion was tongue in cheek..............

I must admit I'm tempted!!!!!

An annoyed pedant said...

'Ate', it's fucking 'who ate all the pies'.

Illiterate fuckwits.

Andrew Scott said...

OH, I love your blog, but as has been mentioned earlier in the comments, we shouldn't be banning things.

One thing you propose is to locate benefits offices 5 miles from anywhere.

What about the infirm who are unable to travel to their benefit office? There would HAVE to be exceptions, which means those exceptions would have to be administered which would create yet more bureacraucy.

As for the rest of your bans, you're essentially proposing a police state, which we are already well on our way to.

I think you created this with your tongue planted firmly in your cheek, because I know you are better than this.

One additional thing, last week was the Easter holidays/school holidays. I notice you were also on 'holiday'. You were one of those people walking around the shopping mall at 4 in the afternoon. Who are you to judge the exact reason for everyone else being there.

I did fuck all work last week cos I was off too.

Andrew Scott said...

Oops, I didn't look and see that it was Anna Raccoon and not you.

Sorry, but my point still stands, but directed at Anna instead.

Anna Raccoon said...

An annoyed pedant.

Quite right too - unintentional!

Thank-you.

Anna Raccoon said...

Andrew Scott.......

It's been a thoroughly enjoyable evening watching the comments.....!

Oh, and the infirm don't go to the Dole office, that is reserved for the unemployed.

embus said...

"Not true, you do not retain your UK vote if you declare that you are now permanently resident in another country."

I can find no source for this assertion. Can you provide one ?

Anna Raccoon said...

embus

Try your electoral roll office.

You can have a postal vote if you are absent from the country for any amount of time but intend coming back - but if you are fool enough to tell them the truth, then you lose your vote.

Anna Raccoon said...

There you go embus.

If you are a British citizen living overseas you are entitled to vote in UK Parliamentary general elections and European elections for up to 15 years after moving abroad.

http://www.electoralcommission.org.uk/faq/voting-and-registration/can-i-still-vote-if-i-move-overseas

DerBunker said...

Gas the unemployed.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the disabled - you can beat them to a pulp where they lie.

Gigits said...

I think Anna Raccoon's tongue in cheek article makes some good points. The state of our society does make you want to get medieval on the hoardes of workshy and ignorant cretins that are out there.

However, Old Holborn ( @ 21:48) is right, we need a fundamental change in people's attitudes, rather than a new level of authoritarianism. How this can be achieved, I do not know. I fear that this country is beyond repair.

Anonymous said...

I said "There are huge numbers of people who are out of work through no fault of their own"

You (OH) replied "
Fuck off.

I'm not out of work. They are out of work because they refused to take responsibility for their own lives, so sold it to an employer, and he offered them a false security on the condition it made him rich. Then renaged on the the deal."

So on that basis your ideal world would only have one-man-band companies? As I understand it you recently moved your business from the U.K. to Switzerland. How many people do you employ there, and what happened to those left behind?

You are quite correct that many large concerns treat their employees like shit, but there are also many dedicated companies (some providing generations of the same families with a job) who have had to close down due to late payment of bills, banks refusing to lend money etc.

Not everyone has the ability to, or wants to run their own business, so there will always be a need for companies to provide employment.

I don't like the current way things are run, or the likely "alternative", but I think your "Libertarian Utopia" is going to remain a pipe dream.

Anonymous said...

Houses and businesses abroad, how well we do living off mommy and daddys money.
Unfortunately most people in the uk done have a very good start in life thru no fault of their own.

Im anti-labour and tory.

Old Holborn said...

"Houses and businesses abroad, how well we do living off mommy and daddys money.
Unfortunately most people in the uk done have a very good start in life thru no fault of their own.

Im anti-labour and tory."

Adult Literacy classes are free See if you can catch us up eh?

McHoon said...

Is it true the Tories are going to rebuild Hadrians Wall using the disabled and unemployed? Plenty of jobs if yer fuckin' look 4 'em.

Anonymous said...

We all know that trying to type a quick message onto a farty little window is not an easy task.
If you 'mock' people who enter into debate, and ridicule every mistake they make, then G_d help you.

We all make typo's.

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