Thursday, 23 April 2009

Send A Shirt To Gordon Campaign

Most creative to date

Sent earlier today with LPUK Card and note:




I scrawled on an old vest: "ACPO MURDER SQUAD / APPLY FORCE HERE" (Photo available on request)

ARRSE are also running with it


Can't beat this from the comments:

The Rt Hon James Gordon Brown MP
10 Downing Street

Dear Gordon
Budget 2009
Please forgive the over-familiarity in referring to you as ‘Gordon’ - I felt that this was slightly more acceptable than referring to you as ‘thieving cnut’.

You will be delighted to hear that I have already analysed in detail the minutiae of your Government’s Budget, delivered by your darling Alistair. All I can say is, ‘thank you’.
Thank you for shafting my generation, who will now be paying to you and your like every penny that we earn between now and our retirement, irrespective of how hard we work, how much we try to save, how many jobs we create, or how much wealth we generate for the country.

Thank you for pissing all over my children. They, too, will be unlikely to live long enough to see the repayment of the £1.4 trillion of debt that you have borrowed. Borrowing money is a funny thing. You borrow, you spend, and you pay interest on what you borrowed. And you then pay the money back. Yes, pay it back. It doesn’t come free, for ever, no strings; and you can’t just print more and more and more. You (or more correctly, the generations which follow) must eventually pay it back. You prick.

Thank you for continuing to pay huge swathes of my money to work-shy slobs. By that I do not, of course, mean those that sit on their fat arses watching Cash in the Attic day after day. No, the real ‘work-shy slobs’ that you waste my money on are the armies of public sector layabouts that have never done a real day’s work in their lives. But moan like nothing else about how they are over-worked, under-paid, and under-valued. Well of course they are under-valued; it’s because they do bugger all work in the first place. Sitting about doing hee haw, just waiting on their fat, guaranteed, taxpayer-funded, pension at 52. And did your darling Alistair do anything about it? Bollocks he did.

Thank you for bankrupting our once-great country. See when you need to give the IMF a call, just let me know. I’ll drive over to your grace-and-favour gaff in Downing Street (which I pay for) in my car, which I finance out of the pennies left after I pay you fortunes in income tax and national insurance - a car for which I pay you VAT, road tax, insurance premium tax, fuel tax (and probably a rubber and paint tax if you thought you could get away with it) – and drive you to the IMF myself. I have in the boot a long piece of rope, a bag of cement, and some rather tasty sweeties. Don’t be afraid.

You know, Gordon, we have a lot in common. You are Scottish, so am I; you are a member of the Kirk, so am I; you are a Bluenose (despite your misguided attempts to hide it), so am I. Where perhaps we differ is that you are a podgy, baggy-eyed, lying, immoral, closet homosexual - thankfully I can only lay claim to the podginess. I trust that your convenient marriage to Sarah does not interfere with your previously frequent jaunts to the leather bars of Amsterdam.

I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I am enclosing my shirt. That’s right – the shirt off my back. You might as well have it now as you are going to get it, come hell or high water, anyway. I do hope it fits and is not too whiffy. Not that an arrogant, ignorant, incompetent runt like you would care.
Peace and love, you turd.


Ampers said...

Remember, don't send a dirty shirt and your name and address. They may be able to extract your DNA. :-)

caesars wife said...

love it OH

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

Bloke goes into a bank and says, "I want to open a fucking account."

Worker: "That's not a problem sir, but please don't swear."

"Shut the fuck up and tell me how to open an account."

Worker: "I'm sorry sir, but unless you moderate your language, I will not be able to help you."

"Fuck you - get me the fucking manager now!"

The manager duly arrives and the bloke says: "I've just won £10 million and I want to invest it in your fucking bank."

" I see I see," says the manager, nodding sympathetically and gesturing at the worker, "And this piece of shite wont help you?"

Shibby said...

This might interest you, OH and writers.

The Penguin said...

You'll excuse me not adding this to my blog, I'm sure both my readers are regulars here :-)

The Penguin

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Thats one reader more than I get penguin!

Gigits said...

Two more than I get... I really must stop writing crap.

Man in the Street said...

I am dispatching four different shirts in different postboxes in SE London (postage to be paid by recipient) tomorrow.

Hope adding them to the 95° maintenance wash earlier has removed any traces...

Anonymous said...

The budget for ministers' parties has been quietly increased by 50 per cent - and almost £140,000 spent on an exclusive wine cellar.
In the week when the Chancellor promised a Whitehall efficiency drive, official figures suggest Government hospitality is unaffected by the recession.
The unit set up to organise wining and dining for ministers and senior civil servants has had its budget increased by 52 per cent from £525,000 to £800,000 for this financial year.

And they get to smoke while knocking back the vintage and non-vintage Champagne, red Bordeaux, white and red Burgundy, white Loire, sweet white Bordeaux, red Spanish, red Italian, red Argentinean, red Australian, red Chilean, red New Zealand, red US, and English still and sparkling white and rosé wines that we paid for!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

And two more than I get too. I've left what I consider a suitable comment on your blog Shibby - hope the language doesn't offend you. If so, please feel free to delete.

W.W. said...

"I'm fucked, your fucked, we're all fucked" How perseptive he was.

These cunts have destroyed this country.
They have destroyed it culturally, they have destroyed it socially.

And for their final act they have destroyed it financially.

I'm now going to start looking for work as a plumber in Poland.
Start now and beat the rush.


A parent said...

Don't forget to send some Kids Shirts too as it will be them paying this Bill off.
Who the FUCK gave these twats permission to do that to my Kids.

C U N T S !!!!!!

Dick Puddlecote said...

Already sent my shirt and the youngsters'. Fanny Puddlecote (unusually) wanted to get involved too, so hers is in the post tomorrow.

Devalued Prime Minister of a devalued government, indeed.

W.W. said...

SHIRT?? sorry I misread

I just sent him a bag of my shit.


RayD said...


Thanks for that, first laugh of the day.

Chalcedon said...

That was obviously from the heart. Look guys, I know he is a paranoid bipolar, the behaviour is obvious, but this is yet another time I've seen him referred to as a closet homosexual. Is he? Where's the evidence?

Mummy x said...

I sent mine, well not actually mine,

Dear Gordon,
we hope you like our little t-shirts. We liked them too but Mummy says they now belong to you as you need them more than we do. Mummy says she doesn’t need to send you her shirt as you already have it.
From Big Squid, Middle Squid and Ickle Squid.

You should have seen the lady in the post office when I told her why it was addressed to Gorgon, what it contained, and why.

Mummy x

Oldrightie said...

I've sent a shirt.

Prodicus said...

OH is famous, chaps. The Sunday Times name-checks you.

Anonymous said...

Awsome idea love it

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