Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Can we help?

Hi OH,
I don't know if you remember me from the old days of JSG and the Today boards, but I'm SWL - Alan Wallace.

I'm basically here begging for some help. I've become so pissed off with politics and politicians that I've decided to stand as an independent for the Euro elections with Jury Team. My basic position is I'm an ordinary working bloke and I'm going to embarass them by doing what they should be doing. As a salesman for the last 6 years, I've had to keep a daily record of where I've been, who I've met and what I've done. MPs should do the same. I plan (if elected - ha!) to publish a monthly schedule in advance online showing what meetings I'm due to attend and with who. Members of the public will be able to post questions for me to ask on their behalf. For example, if I'm meeting a power company guy, people can post "Ask him about this" or "Find out about that". This does two things. Firstly, everybody gets the chance to ask questions of these bastards and secondly, if I don't come back and say what happened at the meeting, the whole world will see I'm a lazy git.
I need help though. Position on the candidate list is by public text vote. I'm 2nd (by 2 votes) at the moment, but to have any chance under PR I need to be first. My main rivals are a taxi driver and two tree huggers. I've been out doorstepping, contacting friends, flooding the message boards, but I need every vote I can get.

Can you help in any way?

Text alawal01 to 86837

Over to our readers..........
(From his CV)
It's time to have a government of people, not a people governed.
I'm AGAINST further expansion of the EU.
I'm AGAINST more powers being usurped from national governments by the EU.
I STRONGLY SUPPORT referendums in every country on the Lisbon Treaty.
I am AGAINST a European Army
I STRONGLY SUPPORT proposals to limit immigration into Europe and would actively campaign to see that other countries honoured their obligations instead of turning a blind eye to immigrants being trafficked to the UK.
Like most people I have been sickened and disgusted by the antics of politicians and parties over the years. People like Balls & Milliband are professional toadies who have never done a day's work in their lives. And there are far too many of their type. People who go to university then get a job as a researcher before being parachuted into a safe seat or manipulating women-only lists or playing the race card. I've worked for all but two weeks in the 26 years since I left school. I've served in the Forces and done almost every type of work imaginable. I'm not looking to get on the gravy train either. Every month a full list of my expenses will be listed and accounted for on the internet. Everything from a cup of coffee to plane fares.


W.W. said...

just had a look at the candidates for my area (Yorks & Humber)

Looks like the choice is between to well meaning do gooders.

Well I'm afraid we have had the last twelve years of well meaning do gooders, and I have had enough of the sanctamonious, self rightous, pious, fuckwitts!

I want someone who say's I'm a cunt vote for me.

Because at least we know what to expect from the begining.

Though I, like many other knew what New labour where from the begining.


Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Just spent 25p on a text. Thats £1.66 this blog has cost me today!

Old Holborn said...

£1.66 to wipe the grin off Gordons face and give Europe a referendum on the Lisbon treaty.

Even for a Scot, that's great value

Alan Wallace said...

I've been posting on message boards for years and just getting angrier and angrier. I'm sick to the bloody teeth of politician's basically giving us the finger and expecting us to smile while they're doing it.

Bollocks to them. Let one working man get in and show them what work is. I want to be the biggest pain in the arse they've ever had nightmares about.

We used to have real people as MPs. Between the 1930s and about 1970, this country improved beyond recognition for ordinary people. But the hippies got in and it's been downhill ever since.

Education is a brilliant thing, but it's only the start to learning about life. What do some of those twonks know when all they've ever known is Uni, a "researcher's" job and maybe a bit of scribbling for some rag?

Sod them. Let's make them sweat a bit.

Old Holborn said...

A man after my own heart (and vote)

Fake party alert said...

Screw the `Jury team`, a EU stooge affair meant to take votes from real opposition parties.

About half a dozen have popped up recently, including the extreme communists of No2EU and others all red herrings, set up by the pro EU groups to fragment the no vote.

so the answer Allen is NO and stop wasting our time with your subversive EU stooge do nothing party.

Old Holborn said...

"fake party alert"

I like the sound of that.

Alan Wallace said...

As anyone who's ever seen my posts over the last five years or so will know, I'm no "EU Stooge". There's good and bad in everything. If I was totally agin the EU, I'd vote UKIP. But I think the EU as a trading bloc is fine. But that's where it should stop. Sod this having a Foreign Minister and all the trappings of a real country. So long as we get something for it, fine. The day we stop getting something or when leaving hurts us more than staying is the day we think again.

I'm a lot of things mate, but I'm nobody's stooge.

Anonymous said...

OH, this is a serious question. What about organising people who blog on here to stand against well known MPs during the next election. Martin Bell did it. There would only need to be 20 to 25 standing against well know MPs.Just a suggestion. Any thoughts.

Old Holborn said...

Patience my pretty, patience

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Well, to be honest, I stole a quid from the missus' purse.

usefull idiots join juryteam said...

Your blurb states you want to reform the EU from within the EU!


You really don't understand the European union and what is driving it do you!

There is a simple choice

1. get out or

2. be TOTALLY dominated by a USSR style system.

Your party is set up to rob votes from true Eurosceptic parties that already have a considerable following, such as UKIP or the BNP.

Your group stands alongside Libertas and the Conservatives who claim to be able to change the EU from within yet ignore the EUs sole goal is the total control of Europe, especially it's armies as it aims to expand into Asia.

Your party is loved by the EU and will most likely get funding from them through one means or another, same as Libertas, in order to rob votes from parties that really could give us our freedoms back.

Why don't you join the Libertas clowns if you want to reform the EU from within(laughs)?

Or is it you are setting up as many fake Eurosceptic parties as possible in order to try and appeal to everyone?

you may get less than 1% of the total vote but if that is enough to prevent a real Eurosceptic from becomming an MEP then it's job done for you and your EU stooge parties eh!

Or are you simply another usefull EU idiot who really has been duped?

Blind leading the blind said...

Lots of fake Eurosceptic parties popping up left right and center.

Hell, even a communist one.

The EU must be worried.

Anonymous said...

Politicians - I spit on them all!However, let's give the guy a chance. OH wouldn't have put his message up on the blog unless he thought he was a good 'un. I've sent my text.

Botox Dave said...

Fragment that Eurosceptic vote,
How much are the EU paying you?

Don't tell me, next you will tell the people of China how they can reform their goverment from within.

Jesus wept!

What happend to the small goverment Libertarians?

Are they all hypocrites with their talk of reforms rather than the scrapping of one of the biggest totalitarian political mosters ever seen?

The Glibs, don't even understand their own ideology!

Alan Wallace said...

Really? The nub of my argument is against politicians.

Let's get this clear - I'm an anti-politician. Neither I, UKIP or any of the smaller parties is going to change Europe. BUT - if I can show that it is possible for a normal man to be elected and to work at open democracy, it might just might make a few MPs in marginal seats think on and do the same.

But that's by the by. I'm here asking for help because, like it or not, Jury Team WILL field candidates. Now do you want the candidate to be someone who shares many of your beliefs, or a tree hugger?

I'm not asking for your vote in the election itself. Vote where you think it'll make a difference. I'm asking for your support to stop the environmentalists (with all their networks and activist groups, all with mobile phones instead of soap) steamrollering over me - an ordinary bloke.

Oldrightie said...

Not the way to defeat Labour. This kind of activity will benefit Brown big time and hey ho, another trillion pissed against the wall.

Anonymous said...

The EU will try and set up some `safe` Eurosceptic parties, for when it rigs the elections in the near future, when it will say `look the Eurosceptic vote went to these guys`, until now that has been the Tories and UKIP, but everyone has rumbled that the Tories are EU puppets so a new tactic will be needed when the Tories have been discredited as Eurosceptics to at first split the Eurosceptic vote and then to remove EUSSR opposition.

Groups such as `Juryteam` based around populist bollocks, will turn up.

In fact Jury team sounds like the sort of crap Dolly Draper would invent as a political smoke screen.


Old Holborn said...

Close the door on your way out, after helping yourself to a full refund of course

Guthrum said...

The Glibs, don't even understand their own ideology!

Yes we do, the LPUK will not entertain engaging with the EU,or lending it any legitimacy by standing in Fraudulent EU elections.

Seems like a nice Guy, good luck to him

Dazed and Confused said...

What a very interesting thread. It's given me much to mull over.

Hugh said...

I'd support him if he decided to buy his own fucking coffee for fucksake, that's how these expenses got so far out of hand.

Anonymous said...

Publishing where you are going to be a few weeks in advance will make it far easier for the lone gunman or nutter!

Mog said...

What a very reasoned and sensible debate.

Interesting points on both sides, but I still believe that most people are basically honest. (cue abuse)

I am siding with OH on this one and am texting as I type.

Bon chance Herr Wallace!

Alan Wallace said...

Hugh said - "I'd support him if he decided to buy his own fucking coffee for fucksake"

Thanks - that just made me spurt out my morning coffee :)

You're right, but I was just making a point.

Incidentally, I have an expense account for my job as a salesman. It covers hotels, dining, entertainment, stationary, parking etc. Know how much I claimed last month?


Anonymous said...

How many blue movies was that then?

The Penguin said...

If I was the Sales Director I might worry that you're not getting out and about enough if your month's expenses were that low!

More power to your elbow though, as I'm completely in favour of having some independent MP's to represent real ordinary people, not the party line as dictated by the machine.

We need to get the hell out of the EUSSR. They will still want to sell us Mercs and Champagne and Strawberries and Iveco Vans. Trade is fine, but you can stick the fucking rest.

The Penguin

Chalcedon said...

FFS OH. You just squeezed 25p out of me. You git! :-)

Anonymous said...

Im not so sure.. once "in" you'll get contaminated...

Plato said...

Another 25p - lucky I found it under the sofa cushions.

Good luck.

wv fuck em [sorry, Ed]

Alan Wallace said...

The Penguin said - If I was the Sales Director I might worry that you're not getting out and about enough if your month's expenses were that low!

Oh my mileage is huge, but it's on a fuel card so I don't notice it. As long as I beat my targets, I rarely hear from the Sales Director.

Alan Wallace said...

Here's the competition ---------

"My major concern is the state of the planet and the very short amount of time we have left to change the way we live our lives and how the planet will be for our children. I believe we are at a turning point when we can stand up and prove we are "not stupid"
Summary of life and career

My life changed in 1992 at the Rio Earth Summit, which was one of the first chances to stop climate change on a global scale. I left my first job as a printer to 'save the world'! I found the Rainbow tribe and did my best to change the world by sitting in trees, running squats as community centres and setting up cybercafes made from recycled computers that companies had thrown out. I campaigned against the Criminal Justice Bill which included using my skill as a printer using a old print press machine that was rescued from a scrap yard. Eventually, I decided to see a bit of the rest of the country, and moved to Bristol, then Scotland (mainly for a large garden). I spent a couple of years as a community learning assistant for the local college. When my wife went back to work, I decided to become freelance so I could spend more time with my kids."

I could puke.

spark up said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spark up said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spark up said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spark up said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spark up said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spark up said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spark up said...

"Can you help in any way?"

no, you're meant to be helping us you lying thieving politicunt. fuck off.

politicians: abort early, abort often.

spark up said...

oh all right, wallace. i'm a fair man, so i'll cut a deal:

you get 2500 individuals to click on my blog and i'll send the text (with the 25p raised in advertizing revenue).

there again, i might decide to spend it all on drugs...

trust me?

of course, you could get 2.5 million individual people to visit my blog and i'll then be able to make 1000 texts. we'll call it textation.

do you still trust me?

spark up said...


old holborn,

when i tried to enter this comment using italics for the first line quote, it was posted without the initial carriage return - hence the multiple deletions.

Alan Wallace said...

Well, looks like I won but the text votes are being adjudicated over the weekend.

Thanks for all your help guys. I'm sorry some of you have jumped to conclusions about me. What was I meant to say - "Hey - I'm running as an independent, please don't help"?

I might be naive politically, but I'm genuine and as hacked off with the whole sorry lot of them as any of you. All I can say is, give me a chance to speak and listen to what I'm saying - not what you think I'm saying.

Hopefully over the next few weeks I'll get to shoot my mouth off and maybe some people will pay attention.

Thanks again though.

Ratings and Recommendations by outbrain


Related Posts with Thumbnails