Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Budget or bludgeon?

Britain's ultimate destination. The Jobbie Centre.

(Picture flushed out here.)

Tomorrow, Socialist Equality will make us all a little poorer. The Chancer is bound to put up the price of tobacco and booze. They always do. Petrol, too, so better get out and fill up if you fancy driving around anywhere.

He's going to offer those with nine-year-old and older cars a fistful of rapidly-depreciating money to scrap the banger and buy a shiny new one. The trouble is, two grand doesn't buy much of a new car and if you drive an ancient rustbucket, chances are you don't have the rest of the money available to make up the difference. If you did, you wouldn't be driving a nine-year-old car. So this is worthless.

He's going to announce help for those with massive mortgages who have lost their jobs. Good idea, but in order to qualify, you have to have a regular income. So if you've lost your job you don't qualify. So this is worthless.

Wads of cash will be used to insulate homes. Council homes only, naturally. Can't have any of us filthy non-dependent people saving on our bills. The reasoning is simple. Many of those in council homes don't pay their electricity and gas bills. So the Chancer is saving his money, not ours. Well, it was ours, now it's 'tax' and he wants to make savings. He doesn't want the rest of us making savings because if we use less gas and electricity, we pay less tax on it. He wants more tax from us but he wants his army of dependents to stop spending it. So this is worthless.

Oh, and he's going to build loads more little hutches to store his dependent pets in. Using magic money he'll pull from his hat with a cheery 'Ta-daa'. Well he has to store his horde of imported voters somewhere.

Got a pension? Not any more. He's raiding those again. Saving up for retirement will be pointless within 24 hours.

Good news? There isn't any. Except that this will, hopefully, be the last Labour budget we'll see for a very long time. I really hope they don't get another chance before they go.

I wonder what he'll do when the last taxpayer has chucked in work and marched into the Jobbie Centre to demand their share? Perhaps he'll tax MP's expenses, which the Gorgon intends to sneakily increase by clamping down on them.

He'll have to. Nobody else has any money left.


it's either banned or compulsory said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
it's either banned or compulsory said...

Some fucker on BBC Radio 4 who sounded as though he should know better was asked " What would you do if you were Chancellor Darling for just one day ? ".
Cunt came up with " Instead of wasting money on paying ever increasing numbers simply to be jobless I would create Energy Efficient Action Teams to go around insulating everybodies windows and lofts ".

Anonymous said...

"Wads of cash will be used to insulate homes."

Haven't they been insulating homes for at least thirty years?

charcoal said...

The trouble is, two grand doesn't buy much of a new car and if you drive an ancient rustbucket, chances are you don't have the rest of the money available to make up the difference. If you did, you wouldn't be driving a nine-year-old car. So this is worthless.We're not all Jeremy Clarkson type fashion victims you know. I drive an old rustbucket because it's totally reliable and it has zero depreciation. But if someone chucks me two grand I might well buy a new car which I will then run until it becomes a rustbucket.

Leg-iron said...

If they've been insulating [council] homes for thirty years, they've been working really slowly because our Chancer intends to send more cash to The Insulator (catchphrase - 'hasta la vista, cavity').

New ones should be built insulated so God knows what backwaters he's found to put people in now. Alternatively, perhaps he intends to insulate them more. Eventually these houses will lose no heat at all but there'll be only three square feet of space inside.

I don't even know why Labour are importing voters. It would be easier and cheaper if they just had a vanload of postal votes and an Albanian telephone directory.

They're going to do it that way anyway.

Leg-iron said...

Charcoal - True,but there are a lot of folk driving rustbuckets because it's all they can afford.

Since I don't have a car at all at the moment (there used to be a stripped Fiesta in the garden but the neighbours moaned so much I had it taken away), if I were to buy one, I'd first spend about £200 on a piece of tat and cash it in for the two grand. That'll happen a lot. In fact, I should have kept that Fiesta. There are already groups looking to buy up those last-few-days-of-MOT wrecks, cash them in and sell the vouchers. Its a scam in the making.

As it is, those of us without cars will be subsidising this move which will benefit a few people and a lot of criminals.

So I don't like it.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget that many "non dependent" people seemed to think that sky high property prices were a good thing (for them), so have in some small way helped to price out all those "scrounging" people who are now "dependent".

And of course landed UK PLC with a massive personal debt mountain.

Leg-iron said...

No, the dependents are dependent because they like it. The scroungers are scroungers because they like it. Such lifestyles are encouraged by paying them to be that way.

They are not the same as someone struggling to buy a house. Anyone doing that is doing their best to be non-dependent. Good luck to them, it's not easy.

Soaring house prices, 110% mortgages, repayments way above any reasonable proportion of salary, are what caused the housing mess. The government could have stepped in at any time. They left it until the banks went bust then they rewarded the banks for going bust. Just like the lifetime benefit scrounger who sees no need to work, the banks see no need to reform their systems because when they fail, the government just gives them more money.

When the government gives handouts to the workshy and the greedy, why would they change their ways?

The banks should have been allowed to fail. That would have forced them to fix their systems. Now they won't bother.

The 'personal debt' is not a problem. I don't care how big the 'personal debt' mountain is because I don't have to pay any of that. It's personal. The individuals who owe the money can deal with it.

The national debt is the one where I have to pay back money I didn't borrow. That's the one to worry about.

Anonymous said...

Leg Iron.

Re: personal debt.

Well said.

It was blindingly obvious what was going to happen to all the mongs who were boasting, "I have a three million pound property portfolio!" (No. You don't. You have a three million pound mortgage) and all those twats who took out five times salary mortgages, 125% mortgages and put down deposits using their credit card so they "could get on the ladder." A chimp could see what was going to happen.

But then that's freedom of choice. They made their choice now they have to live with it.

In fact I'm surprised the Reichstag haven't decided to use my money to bail them out yet (I've heard some people clamoring for it).

Still, we're subbing the banks so I suppose they're doing their best to drive us all into poverty.

caesars wife said...

being as the rain tax currently getting fobbed off in parliment , were sports clubs , charity groups and churches will see increases of over 60% in there water bills , a jobbie tax may well be in the cards , i presume a breathing tax must also be considered.

although i had wondered if when going to A&E if you produced your labour party card , you would get treated straight away in the goverments new flag ship "to show we care"

details about the jobbie tax are thin , but basically you will install a weight measuring toilet seat , the stasi will then take your start weight , and then you will be charged exch time you sit on the toilet .

one city trader reckons hes onto a fortune as he has bought a load of armitage shanks standing crappers destined for france , no seat they cant charge you !!! also offering a range of colourfull ethinc made hemp ropes to add curiosty to steadying your self on the foot plates .

however the scheme is already under attack by wimmins groups who pointed out that they have to sit more than men and would be unfairly charged , not to worry says harriet were working on a 50% rate increase for evil men and a fine if they dont put the seat back without any splashes after they have marked there territory

Anonymous said...

The trouble is other peoples personal debt HAS become my problem, As one of the few twats left who has to roll his sleeves up too earn his money I expect I I shall be footing the bill for this.

Large swathes of the country bought into the childish notion that houseprices only go up, and most of those don't live on sink estates.

If you can't get in the resturant because the prices are too high you should expect scroungers outside.


Guthrum said...

And the talking heads of the Tory Party, will just legitimise the whole proceedings with their faux 'solutions' and faux 'anger' they have failed at every turn to oppose- whilst they posture do not forget that they offered full support to this government of all the useless last September, mainly because they have not got a clue what to do

Anonymous said...

What took me to town this morning was that cunt Gordon Fuckwit McTwat & his great announcement that he's going to cut back on MPs expenses - by giving them all a daily attendence allowance! Fuck me, not just an over-the-top salary for getting your friends to sort out the 'postal voting' (know wot I mean, 'Arry?)but fucking paid for just turning up to work too. I know the cunt's delusional - but does he think we're all delusional too? There just aren't enough fucking lamposts for that bunch of lying, shiftless. traitorous, pack of bastards. And the fucking Socialists thought Thatcher was bad? Funk me, she was a ministering angel compared to that useless cunt. Sorry for the foul language but NuLabour (same old cunts) affects me that way.

Dungeekin said...

Budget Day, as with so many events, puts a song in my heart.

Today, it's this one.

(Not many people know that Alistair Darling was Adam Ant - before, of course, the nasty incident with the eyebrow-restoring fluid).


defender said...

Does anyone know if there is a tax on a horse and cart?
Its getting to be a serious option,
no license, no MOT, no registration, no speeding tickets, no insurance(?),
refuel on the grass verge, sell the shit for fertiliser, no servicing.
I fancy on like them Amish folk use in met black, lecky windows, cd and red leather upholstery.

defender said...

great selection here, I do fancy the grey gelding option


killemallletgodsortemout said...

Defender - tell the tax people you've become a pikey. They'll just leave you alone forever, horse and cart, or not.

Anonymous said...

His BNP mates might not be so understanding when the've got the camps ready.

Defender: "But, I was just pretending to be a pikey in order to evade NuLiarbore taxes!"
Fascist: "Oh yeah? I've heard that one before. You won't believe the number of people we get in here, telling us how they only ever pretended to be dolescum or gays or Muzzies or immigrants, and how they've always supported us really. And you know what I say?"
Defender: "What?"

Swiss Bob said...

If you want to join in with the heckling and general abuse as Brown and Darling steal all your money. . .

Live Chat the Budget at The Daily Politics blog from 11:30am today

Babs said...

To be frank, most sites like this one, are fast becomming tedious. We all know that this govt (and the next) are shite!
If I were to blog all day about this crap, I'd go fuckin' mad.
Lets have some light-hearted stuff for a change, something to have a laugh about, instead of filling ourselves full of negativity.

electro-kevin said...

Reducing speed limits to impossibly low levels and then fining and endorsing people to extinction should raise a lot of revenue (35mph in town will get you a ban)

The increase in suicides (off setting lives 'saved' through 30mph accidents) should keep the pension bill down.

Nu Lab have fucked Britain even more than I could ever have imagined.

Thanks for an excellent article btw.

Naive Liberal Twat said...

"Anonymous said...

His BNP mates might not be so understanding when the've got the camps ready."

Oh, will you please just STFU, you idiot...

Downing Street said...


"dolescum or gays or Muzzies or immigrants"

Comrade Anonymous,


You supposed to invent *unpopular* policies.

There'll be millions and millions of votes for that.

Anonymous said...

Not many postal `votes` however!

Antipholus Papps said...

Lets have some light-hearted stuff for a change, something to have a laugh about, instead of filling ourselves full of negativity.Yep, positive thinking should do the trick! After all, if you look where that's got us over the past 40 years, why would anyone ever perceive wrong action?


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