You can stick your CCTV, Police State, wheelie bin Stasi, DNA, WMD, “Social Cohesion”, benefits for all, guilty until proved innocent, don’t do that it’s illegal now, can’t say that, ID cards for all, where are you going, what have you been saying/doing/reading, can’t photograph that, how very dare you, golliwog banning, we know where you live, we’re watching you Soviet Utopia up your arses. Sideways.

Friday, 24 April 2009

Blogging may be quiet.....




I'm getting married today.


No, really.


Old Holborn Authors. Do your worst.


(my second marriage. This is what happened to my first)

55 Comments:

K. McEgan 24 April 2009 23:21  

Isnt this the Feinberg barmitzvah? Brother & sister shouldnt marry. Is that Cletus The Yokel & Brandine from the Simpsons? Finally, you want to buy some lead? Some gates? Car radios?

Gigits 24 April 2009 23:26  

OH, was that tale on the link true? If it was, you are one poor bastard and I wish you look in your new 'venture'!

Gigits 24 April 2009 23:28  

look = luck

me, pissed!

denverthen 24 April 2009 23:30  

Congratulations.

Wear protection on your wedding night. Don't forget.

caesars wife,  24 April 2009 23:49  

hope you both have a very happy day

Oldrightie 25 April 2009 00:03  

Your far to old to learn new tricks. Utter head ruling heart, still better than being all alone like old Timney.
Good luck.

Philipa 25 April 2009 00:04  

Best wishes for a very happy marriage.

"Actually, I married her in my lunch hour. No joke. I went back to work straight afterwards. I also married her on the last possible day to claim a full years tax allowance as a married man. She gave birth 15 days later. I wasn't there. I'd gone to the Autosport exhibition at the NEC."

She must have been thrilled. I sincerely hope you like wife #2.

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 00:04  

The dog's got better teeth than they have.

Gigits 25 April 2009 00:17  

The thread on that link is soooo funny! Old H, you are a funny bastard!

Barnsley Bill 25 April 2009 00:29  

Fuck me I just read the link. I may have married her sister... And then a few years later her other sister. Not to worry the second divorce is much easier.

electro-kevin 25 April 2009 00:31  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sugar Tits,  25 April 2009 00:37  

She doesn't deserve you.

(God help her.)

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 00:42  

Hope you had her tested before you married her, many are walking timebombs since our wonderful goverment let in half the aids and TB infested world without checks.

JD 25 April 2009 00:43  

Have a great day, and 'don't get married if you can't take a joke". You should be ok.
Be$t, JD.

Rob F,  25 April 2009 00:57  

Good luck...I'm 38 and I WAS married to a woman 10 years my senior who nagged me constantly.

I'm now engaged to be married to a 21 year-old nursing student who just happens to be completely sex mad.

Epic WIN!!!

Barnsley Bill 25 April 2009 00:58  

The trick is to keep them well away from wedding cake. Not only does it contain a very powerful libido suppressant but it also releases a slow release enzyme that transforms the blushing kitchen appliance from fox to whale in just a few short years.

electro-kevin 25 April 2009 01:01  

Seriously confused - having met you and genuinely liked you.

Option A - quit Britain.

Option B - quit work and go on the dole.

I can't see any other alternative. I'm so glad the only thing I've ever done right in life is to marry a good woman.

Dick Puddlecote 25 April 2009 01:11  

Have a great day, mate.

(That link is seriously funny)

Wispy,  25 April 2009 01:38  

Congratulations old boy!

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 01:55  

Great link. Particularly amused to find this:

Having just got divorced (this site played it's part, I can tell you. Somewhere is a thread of mine called "fat lazy wife" and she read it. The rest is history), I went for a clean break settlement.I was wondering what happened between your ultimatum and your divorce, and now I know! Good luck with wife #2.

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 03:52  

Hope you both(and dog)have a great day!

TheFatBigot 25 April 2009 04:23  

You can't fool us, you're just after the tax credits !

Oatcake 25 April 2009 05:53  

My first wife started off as a size 8, she's now a 22, loves to snack out on giant cream cakes, but still insists on keeping MY surname, WTF, people think I married a fat cow.

BTW- What's the problem with rottis?

Dick the Prick 25 April 2009 07:14  

Bloody hell OH - what's she doing? Is she mental? Doesn't she realise? What's her dad think? Has she told him? I saw her last week on Britain's got Talent but she seemed to be able to string a sentence together - have you drugged her? Is this like capturing Natalie Portman in V? Does she think there are no other options - that all hope is lost?

Seriously tho - all the best to you both & good luck. Bloody nice weather for it.

Tom Paine 25 April 2009 07:19  

Congratulations, OH. While to be honest I can see no grounds for optimism (only bland people can be happily married and while I don't know about the new Mrs OH, you certainly don't qualify) I nonetheless wish you every happiness.

Rab C. Nesbitt 25 April 2009 08:14  

Congrats OH. On my second wife myself. The second is always much better than the first. And 10 years younger in my case!

Swiss Bob 25 April 2009 08:29  

OH,

Congratulations and good luck. See you in Geneva when you realise that living on a large farm full of xenphobic yokels (Zug) isn't all it's cracked up to be.

If anyone's bored pop over, I have a couple or three new posts up i.e. HONOURABLE MEN & DISHONEST SCUM

North Northwester 25 April 2009 08:54  

Wow, OH, this is like destiny or something! Two fates intertwined by such similar and painful circumstances - one libertarian and one conservative.

Yesterday would've been my 16 wedding anniversary with the Mark One Mrs. Northwester, and thank goodness for easy divorce!
So here's some advice which I would like to add to my best wishes and sincerest congratulations.

Never, ever have unprotected sex with a spendthrift, work-shy, frigid manic-depressive.

Oh, OH, and Marriage Two: The Sequel -this time, it's perfect.

I hope it proves to be so for you.

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 09:05  

Prepare for divorce whether it happens or not. Discreetly start salting away cash with someone you can trust completley or in a hole in the ground if necessary. Cover your financial tracks as best you can. ie. get "cash back" whenever you purchase something at a store. So that it isnt seen as a cash withdrawal on bank statements. Small amounts soon mount up.

Faux Cu 25 April 2009 09:08  

Shit were you from Edinburgh and were you in the Bay City Rollers and were fondled by your Manager ?

Today's fashion is tomorrow's joke.

Well shot of her. i'd say.

A triumph of hope over experience.

Good Luck any way ya Numpty!

The Penguin 25 April 2009 09:14  

The good thing about these mail-order brides is the absence of in-laws. At first.

The Penguin

ranter 25 April 2009 09:19  

Congrats! If you've chosen well then number 2 should be OK.

I have a feeling this won't affect your blogging though! Thankfully as I agree with you twelvety percent of the time and am enraged the the rest.

BlogTart,  25 April 2009 09:24  

Nice mullet, Cletus. No wonder you wear a mask.

Looks like the radiant bride has been at the buns already.

Have a top day anyway.

defender 25 April 2009 10:06  

I hope its the Rottie that you are getting married to. Loyal, faithful, protective, honest, and will not take your money.
Not good for a shag though but there is more to life than a shag.

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 10:18  

All the best to you both
Urban11

expat,  25 April 2009 11:21  

Defender: I thought Old Holborn was a shag!

Good luck to the happy couple. If music be the food of love, put the record player on.

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 11:34  

It is extremely tempting to write something OHish about this, but I'll refrain and wish the pair of you a very happy, and lifelong, marriage.

I now am switching into OH mode so as he'll be up to his nuts in guts tonight I guess he'll be too busy to read these homilies.

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 12:14  

Thank Gordon for civil partnerships! Now Old Holborn can get married without society looking down on him!

But seriously, congratulations! And "Fat, Lazy Wide" is hilarious. Yet another website now bookmarked...

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 12:15  

I meant "wife". Typo.

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 13:08  

Who`s the lucky chap?

aljahom 25 April 2009 13:53  

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein

Prodicus 25 April 2009 14:08  

Does the lady know how many people are fond of your throbbing organ?

Best of luck.

the beast of clerkenwell,  25 April 2009 14:49  

You old romantic you.
I hope that number 2 is much younger, that is my plan
WV
peniz
I shit you not, hand on heart

Anonymous,  25 April 2009 17:14  

2nd marriage = triumph of Optimism over Experience.

That's enough Electro-Kevin for one day,  25 April 2009 20:06  

Not more photos from Electro Kevins family album!

Other Steve 25 April 2009 22:07  

All the best to you and Mrs OH


(oh and ta for the link back)

Obnoxio The Clown 26 April 2009 04:10  

Some fuckers never learn, eh?

Condolences. (To the missus, of course! :o)

Balding Nobhead Party 26 April 2009 11:22  

You signed a contract stating that if you ever get laid again you loose half your fortune. You got bigger balls than me OH, best of luck.

BTW I'd send you a gift but I don't know your address. Should I get it off Obo?

Anonymous,  26 April 2009 11:52  

Where are you taking her for the honeymoon?







Dogging?

GrumpyOldTwat 26 April 2009 16:14  

Second time around was so much better for me.

Hope it is for you too OH.

woman on a raft,  26 April 2009 21:32  

What they really want to know is: do you keep the mask on?

cue Bach, Toccata and Fugue in D minor

Pontyslapper,  27 April 2009 18:20  

All the best you old bugger!

Lets hope you don't get a repeat performance, eh?!?

drabzz 5 March 2010 19:03  

Marriage is not the kind of thing you should do to someone you love. I should know, I'm on marriage number three!

But seriously...

GRATS MATE!

Amusing Bunni 6 May 2010 10:14  

That is hilarious, and the story of fat old wife #1!
Wow, makes me glad I'm not married.
I hope you are happy now, OH.

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