Saturday, 14 March 2009

Would you buy a used car from this man?

You may have to soon!

The government is considering giving credits of 2,000 pounds to new-car buyers who turn in their old cars, The Times reported on Saturday.

Business minister Peter Mandelson is looking closely at the plan, called scrappage, and it could be announced in April's budget, The Times said on its website.

Citing senior government sources, it said talks were at an "advanced stage."

And when Mandelson finds himself the proud proprietor of 'Mandy's Dodgy Bangers?

Who on earth would buy one from him?

You couldn't make it up!


Shirking From Home said...

Excellent, I have an old banger outside that hasn't moved for 2 years and I have no intention of getting the wreck resurrected. Driving is too fucking expensive and living in inner London I don't need a car.

If I have some local scrap bloke take it away and then send the log book to Mandy do I get 2k?

Mitch said...

Im looking forward to this one,wifey wants a new car nothing flash just a super mini type so now I don't need to bother with selling/part ex on the old one just give it to the pederast and get 33% off the new one.For once this useless shower are giving me free money.
In the mean time car sales will stop dead.cunts.
9 yr old cars now go up in value and mangled rectum hands me back most of my income tax this year hahahahahahah.

Old Holborn said...

Germany did this a while back.

Germans used their savings (average of over £20K for every man woman and child in the land) to get a cheap BMW, BMW sold more cars and BMW workers kept their jobs.

They can't wait for the British to do it. Why don't we just send BMW workers £1500 and save the £500 for ourselves?

K. McEgan. said...

I'd buy a car from him.Would not drop the keys & bend down.Cheap homophobic joke.Thangyouverymuch.

View from the Solent said...

Let's see. I buy an old wreck from a dubious source for £50. Take it an approved carbreaker and receive a £2000 voucher. Sell it to someone who's in the market for a new motor for, say, £1050. I make £1000. He saves £950. What's not to like?

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

My old escort is rusting away to nothingness. I want a ford galaxy. Gimme money.

Anonymous said...

anyone know what's happened to guido's site?

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Guidos' Server is probably down. His site was getting lame anyway to be honest.

cesars wife said...

stanislav and now guido , still not had one post from either to say whats going on .

its coincidence enough for me to wonder , stasi definitely , had some strange traffic two weeks ago.

they cant take us all down that is for sure .

not to worry every town has a speakers place , the stasi can bollocks

JPT said...

No I wouldn't, why?

Oh get me eh, a right cheeky twatter! said...

Guido used to be a brilliant blog. Sadly no longer the case. Stanislav is too far up his own arse for me.

man in the street said...

Perhaps Dolly has twatted Guido one.

Swiss Bob said...

Oh get me,

And your blog is so brilliant.

Guido is probably trying to get his new software running. No doubt outsourced which would explain a lot.

Stanislav probably got sick of anonymous twats writing drivel comments. You'd think they'd fuck off and not come back.

You'd think that, wouldn't you Mr 'Oh get me'?

Goodnight Vienna said...

I need to get a sense of proportion/humour because this government is driving me nuts.

a) Mandelson is loathsome;
b) Guido has had to introduce moderation;
c) Stanislav is by invitation only.
d) Draper is a fucktard.

Swiss Bob said...

Mr Goodnight Vienna,

Re c) Get in touch if you're interested.

Oldrightie said...

It would seem that blogger is having interference from somewhere. Been getting issues with my little place.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

It has been weird on 'tinternet of late. I thought it was my shitty phone. Struggling to load pages etc etc. Strange thing is, it's only on sites like this, others are fine.

Swiss Bob said...

Rab, I think you'll find it's a little more prosaic than that.

I sent OH an email but the useless bugger never reads them.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Whats prosaic mean?

Oh get me, I've upset a member of the big frilly knicker brigade. said...

Swiss Bob..
'Stanislav probably got sick of anonymous twats writing drivel comments. You'd think they'd fuck off and not come back.

You'd think that, wouldn't you Mr 'Oh get me'?'

You would think that, Swiss Bob. They probably wandered in to take the piss out of the pretensious pricks, like your good self; commenting on there. I can't think of any other reason to go there. Unless they had imsomnia!
I was brought up to be well mannered and polite to people by my parents but knowing they wont be reading this blog; fuck off you useless cunt!

You Tosser said...

Fuck off too from me, pompous cunt.

Anonymous said...

OO OO Just look out for the magic words Climate Change, Glaobal Warming, Eco ad nauseum.

Scrap your old carbon chugging monster for a sleek new clean one and SAVE THE EARTH!

(Can you hear the sarcasm?)

Swiss Bob said...


It means he's got a gadget on his blog that takes ages to load, an ordinary, commonplace, dull reason. Not 'them'.

Shirking From Home said...

How much of a backhander is Mandy due for from the Association of Motor Manufacturers and Traders, and when?

Anonymous said...

Germany and France reject Brown's global economic recovery planAngela Merkel insists any further short-term fiscal stimulus should be up to individual governments, not the G20
Toby Helm and Heather Stewart, Saturday 14 March 2009 17.34 GMT Article history
Gordon Brown and Angela Merkel brief journalists at 10 Downing Street earlier today. Photograph: Steffan Rousseau/Reuters

Gordon Brown's hopes of uniting the world's most powerful economies behind a massive new package of tax cuts and public spending increases were in ruins today after he failed to persuade France and Germany to back his plan to revive the world economy.

After talks at Chequers to prepare the way for next month's G20 summit in London, Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, ruled out ordering another short-term "fiscal stimulus" and made it clear that if more action was needed, it would for the Berlin's Bundestag to decide, not the G20.

Her comments were echoed by the French finance minister, Christine Lagarde, at a meeting of G20 finance ministers in Horsham, West Sussex. As ministers tried to agree a joint way forward, Lagarde said she was optimistic the meeting could make progress but that nations needed to "evaluate the remedies already put in place by each of us" before ordering huge extra spending on top of that already sanctioned.

Anonymous said...

This car idea is a fiddlers charter. Who the heck after keeping some pile of crap going into its 9th year is going to up and decide to blow all their pocket money on a new car? Its wide open to abuse. And its market distorting.

The car sales are probably down for any or all of the following reasons.

Companies are reigning in their spending.

The tossers in Zanu brought in a retrospective megahyke in car tax.

Lots of the sales were done on dodgy balloon payment plans and the like, or were tacked onto the mortgage and thus linked to the ever rising now burst houseprice piggybank bubble.

People are scared for their jobs, and are likely hoarding cash or keeping their debt exposure down.

If they want to do some good for the country, they should call a fucking election now. Imbeciles!

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Bob, has he, and others, just put it on then? 'cos it has been weird for the past two or three days. It's not happening on other 'non political' sites.

Swiss Bob said...


I can't speak for anywhere else but watch how long OH's ad takes to load when you refresh the page.

That and the number of posts per page (10) plus all the stuff in the sidebar adds up. It's more noticeable when you view on a mobile because it tells you how much its loading. It's a lot for a web page.

Goodnight Vienna said...

Swiss Bob @ 20.57

How do I 'get in touch' without broadcasting my email on the blogosphere?

Anonymous said...

How do I 'get in touch' without broadcasting my email on the blogosphere?


Look for Bob's toes hanging out of Stainedlav's arse!

bofl-too lazy to sign in! said...

marvellous idea to save the uk car industry..............

pity it is about 20 years too late......

let's bail out all those uk car co's like


they really do need to be stopped-

Old Holborn said...

Right you lot, calm down

Guido is simply testing his new moderation system on his live site,, so has exported the live blog to a mirror ( whilst he makes sure it works, over a weekend.

Stan is Stan and more power to his elbow. Stan does as Stan does, a true Libertarian, and I salute him for his moral stand. He doesn't have to post a damn thing for any of us and is happily proving it to us all.

Google changed the way it sends info to DNS's about a month ago, so we ALL get broken links, 404's and "blips".

No need to panic

Screech said...

I wish the banger sucking cunt had thought of that two months ago, i'd only be paying £4,500 for my 07 Pug 207 instead of £6,500...fucking bastard.

Anonymous said...

O/T but relevant to many who don't believe that the ickle polar bears are in much trouble

Bearly Concious said...

Red Nose day / Comic relief are really beyond belief or has been said before: "The poor of the UK giving to the rich of Africa".

Gordon thanks Red Nose for their efforts in raising £50m - why isn't the government paying for those poor bastards who have to care for an ill / disabled parent?

And the sheer brassneck / hypocrisy of the Gavin & Stacey actors insisting that they should be flown to Las Vegas with a full BBC crew and entourage to record their wonderful rednose record which appears to have
sold very few copies...but hey it's all for charity so that's OK.

Just think: the £50m red nose day raised is about 1.5% of the BBC's annual budget....just think how much the BBC could give if they pruned some of their myriad multilingual websites and other wasteful programmes.....

cesars wife said...

well thanks OH , i mean we just expect bloggers to tell us whats goin on , customer service doesnt seem to be a topic on libertarian blogs.

re mandelson , car promotion scheme , might not work as well as people think as those people with old bangers will be in debt , so it may just be a churn in the 30k salarie mondeo bracket, given you lose 20% on lux motors as soon as you wheel them out of the showroom .

it will also devalue further anyhting over 3 yrs (most manufactures warenties) be interesting if he streches it to new vans , my mates just brought one , he will be pleased .

Anonymous said...

"Stan is Stan and more power to his elbow. Stan does as Stan does, a true Libertarian, and I salute him for his moral stand. He doesn't have to post a damn thing for any of us and is happily proving it to us all"

Long may he continue to not post a damn thing on here for any of 'us'. Saves me scrolling down for what feels like a sodding hour to get to the next post!

Leg-iron said...

View from the Solent (18:48) has it nailed.

The scam potential of this is enormous. People will buy rubbish from car sales for a few quid, tow it to the free-money shop, pick up the voucher and sell it to anyone wanting a new car. Once a few sharp car salesmen get involved, they'll be taking in the vouchers from gangs and applying them to non-voucher sales. Pure profit, almost no outlay.

There's seriously enough potential in this to get the Mafia involved.

Must give Uncle Sergio a call tomorrow.

Anonymous said...


Yes it gets tricky when they put words with pictures, the bastards.

Anonymous said...

So to help the environment they will destroy perfectly good old cars and make new ones. very clever

microdave said...

"So to help the environment they will destroy perfectly good old cars and make new ones. very clever"

Some years ago a scientist calculated that it took more energy to build a car than it would ever use in its lifetime.

Considering how much environmentally unfriendly electronic crap goes into them these days, I doubt the situation has changed. So replacing a perfectly good car with a new one just to save 10% on fuel is not going to save the planet.

And I'm buggered if I am going to replace my 22 year old one with something that needs a "technician" to fix when it suddenly refuses to work. It's cost less to buy AND maintain over 8 years than a typical new family saloon would lose in value in the first year.

charcoal said...

might not work as well as people think as those people with old bangers will be in debt

Fuck Off.

We're not all obsessed by cars you know. I bought mine new, it's 10 years old now and going like a train. It doesn't mean I'm in debt, it means I exercise choice.

If someone slips me two grand I may well get a new one - Japanese of course.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Sounds like a good sheme to get non car owners to subsidise the rest of us.

Used Nissan said...

Visit a few dealers -- once to look and another, separate time, to negotiate. A convenient location should be a consideration. The cost of many adjustments to your car must be absorbed by the dealer who sells you the car, so find one nearby. In those first months of your warranty, another dealer can legally refuse to do the special-adjustment service.

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