Sunday, 8 March 2009

What A Balls Up!

Some school kids playing truant

Despite the dumbing down of the exams to the point where some leading independent schools have dropped them in favour of international exams, figures reveal that nearly 50% of children from poorer backgrounds are failing to pass a single GCSE at "C". There are also record rates for truancy.

This despite Phoney's "Education, Education, Education!" pledge, and Gordon The Moron "lifting millions of children out of poverty" while throwing money at schools.

It perhaps explains why Cabinet Ministers such as Ruth Kelly and Harriet Dromey send their children to selected schools or independent schools while lecturing the ordinary proles to use the state schools.

The Penguin
OH Update: thanks to David Davis (no not that one), you can now download a GCSE Biology exam. I've tested it on the dog and the dog got a grade B. And she has no idea what nicotine, alcohol, unsaturated fats or excess salt are. (government must work harder)
We have raised a generation of shaved socially manipulated baboons.


Dick the Prick said...

OT - but bloody amusing. I did a civil service maths exam the other day and completely fucked it up. Just goes to show if you don't practice for 16 years, you may as well give the violin to a kid who will.

Hmm - very embarrasing. Go pimp my ass down whores row.

Oldrightie said...

Hypocrisy, thy name is Labour, failure thy fault is Labour, bankruptcy thy balliwick is Labour.
Need I go on?

Mummy said...

I quite liked the way the Wail mentioned all the children on free school meals and all the children at Eton. What about the results for all the kids that fall between these two groups. Lets be honest, if you took all the kids that didn't get GCSE's above C and dumped them in Eton, all that would happen would be that those poor little kids would strip the building bare in 15 minutes then bugger off home to flog the goodies. It's about time we stopped wasting our efforts on kids who just don't give a shit and concentrated on those that do. Regardless of their back ground.

North Northwester said...

This 'education' system seems to be set on creating a generation of weak, ignorant, unemployable goons incapable of discriminating between reality TV and reality and utterly dependent on state welfare.

Say, you don't think this is happening on purpose, do you?

Mitch said...

Its the ultimate cynicism wreck the schools on the alter of lefty wonk ideology while dumbing down the exams to convince people they are clever and send your own kids to private school.
This sums up nulab perfectly "all gong and no dinner".
Set meaningless targets meet them,claim victory repeat till the country is knackered.

Mr Bronson said...

As a school report for NuLab, I'd write:

"Sets low standards and consistently fails to achieve them"

Anonymous said...

Do I remember vaguely that back in the prehistoric era of the 1980's some raving loony wanted to give each child a 'Voucher' so that it could 'purchase' the education of it's choice wherever it wished?

What madness! Howl it down! Destroy the reputation of the loony. Build bigger shools. Politicise the teachers. Make exams easier and more 'accessible'. Teach children that Aids will kill millions. Pervert them with sexual imagery as young as possible. Promote the new religions: globule worming, equality, diversity, big government, debt, welfare, reality TV.

Now .... what the bloody hell .... er ....... gissakiss Mandy .... like ..... I know, let's issue each 'kid' with a set of School Credits that be baccepted by schools anywhere in the UK or Europe, preferably Europe, so that the little ratbags actually learn something ... yes it's the right thing to do .. where do yours go to school? Brompton Oratory? Super.

Dave H said...

I looked through that Biology 'exam' and Jesus Christ on a fuckin' bike, that scared me. How can anyone, sorry, anything, fail to pass that?

We are so, so fucked.

Dave H said...

(er, it's 'baboon' -well you were talking about education)

Chalcedon said...

Hmmmmm. Biology eh? Actually the questions though ridiculously simplistic are all about human biology. Nothing about plants or bacteria and fungi specifically. The questions asked are not demanding. I did biology O level in 1969. It was a couple of papers, based around essays and there was a practical component too. I think each paper was 2 hours. The questions were designed to measure your in depth knowledge and to test your ability to analyse, consider and think a problem through. In comparison, these questions are not challenging or demanding. I know that as we get older and more experienced our old examns look a lot easier, but the way to be objective is to compare the papers and individual questions. Children will only know what's taught on the syllabus unless they 'read around' the subject as we were encouraged to. If this is what kits out a kid for a place on an A level (yes, I know there is course work. I helped my daughters out with theirs) then God help them if they want to read medicine, zoology, botany, biology etc at university.

Chalcedon said...

Ah, I forgot to add that a few of the questions were obviously government propaganda dressed up. Talk about indoctrination!

lilith said...

They arrest the smart ones.

Jade said...

Fank phuck ma kids are goin to Eaton or Harlow, innit?

Menelaus said...

Fcuk me. I've just read that and realised I'd get an A despite not having studied biology since I was 18 (am now 39!).

Fidothedog said...

The next logical step is to give the truants an exam in not being in school.

100% if they fail to turn up for the exam, then Labour can claim no child leaves education with an exam, even if they were never in it.

Anonymous said...

'...a generation of weak, ignorant, unemployable goons incapable of discriminating between reality TV and reality...'

- that way, they'll do what the Labour (mis)government tells them to & without any protest. New Liebore's Cunning Plan!

Youf of today said...

I'm seventeen, currently taking five AS levels in a sixth-form college. We were repeatedly told that whether or not what we were being taught, or found in experiment, was accurate was irrelevant.

Also, I managed to pass all my GCSEs (All the normal ones, plus English Literature, plus a short course (Equivalent to 1/2 a GCSE)), only getting one below C. (Welsh was compulsory)

Anyone incapable of getting _any_ GCSEs at C or above should not be in a regular school.

Anonymous said...

Is that paper for real. I would be classed as a genius.
No knowledge needed.
Not exactly inspiring either.

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