Friday, 20 March 2009

Off your facebook

Vernon Creedy (MP, Lab) wants to make sure all your twitterings, pokes and ramblings are recorded against your emails, phone calls and mutterings. The cunt.

The UK government is considering the mass surveillance and retention of all user communications on social-networking sites including Facebook, MySpace, and Bebo.

Home Office security minister Vernon Coaker said on Monday that the EU Data Retention Directive, under which ISPs must store communications data for 12 months, does not go far enough. Communications such as those on social networking sites and instant messaging could also be monitored, he said.

"Social-networking sites, such as MySpace or Bebo, are not covered by the directive," said Coaker, speaking at a meeting of the House of Commons Fourth Delegated Legislation Committee. "That is one reason why the government are looking at what we should do about the Intercept Modernization Program, because there are certain aspects of communications which are not covered by the directive."

Under the EU Data Retention Directive, from the March 15, 2009, all UK internet service providers (ISPs) are required to store customer traffic data for a year. The Intercept Modernization Program (IMP) is a government proposal, introduced last year, for legislation to use mass monitoring of traffic data as an anti-terrorism tool. The IMP has two strands: that the government use deep packet inspection to monitor the web communications of all UK citizens; and that all of the traffic data relating to those communications are stored in a centralized government database.

The UK government has previously said that communications interception was "vital", and has hinted that social-networking sites may be put under surveillance. However, responding to a question from Liberal Democrat MP Tom Brake, Coaker said that all traffic data on social-networking sites and through instant messaging may be harvested and stored.

"The honorable member for Carshalton and Wallington will also know the controversy that currently surrounds the Intercept Modernization Program," said Coaker. "I look forward to his support when we present Intercept Modernization Program proposals, which may include requiring the retention of data on Facebook, Bebo, MySpace and all other similar sites."

Deep packet inspection, the second strand of the IMP, involves intercepting and examining the contents of all data packets that flow over a network. In Monday's meeting, Coaker said the government still intends to have a consultation on whether to inspect and then store all internet traffic data in a centralized government database.

"What is the point of having a consultation if, as the honourable gentleman implies, the government have already made up their mind to have a central database?" said Coaker. "We have not made up our mind. We have said we will consult on a variety of options."
I'm going to fuck his wife. Up the arse
OH Update: On the subject of email monitoring...
No government of any colour is to be trusted with such a roadmap to our souls": Ken McDonald, former head of the CPS.
The government has unveiled plans for a private company to run a "superdatabase" that will track all our emails, calls, texts, internet use and so on. This is an immense infringement of civil liberties, not to mention a major risk to our private data - but it won't make us any safer. The sheer amount of information that the Government intends to collect will be impossible to analyse properly and will undoubtedly turn up false positives while missing potential security threats amongst the morass of spam emails and private chat.
So, for one day, we should send a message to the Home Office - "you want to see our emails? Ok then, here they are then!". We do this by simply cc'ing or bcc'ing every email we send (and if you like, forwarding every email you receive), regardless of importance or content, to

The date has been set for June 15th

I prefer her private Email address


Letters From A Tory said...

Brilliant yet terrifying spot. I'm beginning to think that even switching my computer on is dangerous in itself.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Well Vernon, record this. You are a spunk bubble.

Balding Nobhead Party said...

Millions of people all blathering out their most intimate details, secrets, desires and photos. The government recording and storing all of it. I like the way all this is going. Imagine a world where one had neither secrets nor any shame. We all know the bullshit that follows from a lifetime of keeping secrets and repressing desires. Now we get to see what bullshit follows the reversal of this. Or we could just get really upset by it all and vote BNP.

K. McEgan. said...

Special Branch take a shufti at Facebook presently.I cannot see Al Queda posting "JUST OFF TO GET RICIN.WANT ANYTHING FROM SHOPS?"

Katabasis said...

OK, it's been overdue:


As LFAT says, great spot OH.

Where on earth is this going to end? What is it going to take to generate sufficient outrage? FFS.

And I'm beginning to wonder if the only effective means of dissent is going to be following on from your very last sentence OH: Let's seduce all of their wives and daughters.

Phoebe said...

This fellow pretty well sums it up:

Katabasis said...

That's a great video Phoebe.

Gareth said...

I bet Vern believes in the Wilson Doctrine as well.

They'll be watching him just as much as they'll watch the rest of us. They always do.

Data gathering such as this should never be routine and on such a scale, should be authorised only by a judge and should not have the scope to be retrospective.

Dick Puddlecote said...

There was an article in the latest Private Eye about "deep packet inspection" (page 6):

"... the government's response has so far been so feeble that in February the EU threatened to take "formal action if the UK authorities do not provide a satisfactory response" to protect citizens' privacy"

Coaker and his pals are going further than even the dictatorial EU are comfortable with!


Gareth said...


After years of legal wranglings a secret report on the ID Card scheme has been released.

What irks me the most about it is that the 'main beneficiaries' are not us. The laws are made for the Police not the public. Made for the DWP not me.

It doesn't even tackle terrorism:

"The reports were released yesterday after a two year battle with campaigners. There was no mention in the report of ID cards having any potential role in tackling terrorism, claimed by ministers."

I think Chris Grayling is wrong to say "... it is quite clear that it is only ministers that think ID cards are a good idea."

The Ministers do the bidding of the Civil Service. They always have to some extent but in this era their craven obedience is all consuming. The unthinking dolts in the Cabinet these days cannot defend liberty and freedom as they do not recognise it, nor stand up against the mandarins with reasoned arguments as they are too stupid to do so.

MPs are there to protect us from the State yet they have become very much a part of it.

seebag said...

Personally I can't wait for the day when I have to provide the government with a transcript of all my conversations all day everyday, and also details of my every thought. Only then will we all be able to sleep easy in our beds, safe from the threat of terrorism.

T England said...

Who ever said "Labour don't see George Orwell's book as a warning but as a guide book" weren't wrong were they?

And who ever said the EU is going to become the real version of V for vendetta are spot on as well!

Labour & the EU!
They both HAVE to go.

Earthlet Nigel said...

Ah yes in the name of the prevention of terrorism.

By letting everyone know nothing but low grade intelligence, if that, will be uncovered, and following newspaper reporting on how previous communication was intercepted you can rest assured they won't make the same mistake twice.

It is the methods they haven't announced that should be worrying everyone, and not just the would be rag-headed virgin pig fuckers.

Covert censorship of mail is one; the legacy of Metternich and his "cabinet noir" which still exist in various forms around the world even today.

It spreads invidiously like the ripples across a pond. And of course don't lose sight of the PC perspective in all this, which goes along the lines of," Someone keeps bringing dead birds into the house and it seems unfair to always blame the cat"!

Anonymous said...

No need to worry. The chap from the Guardian said that this is a "golden age of liberty". So thats all right then.
Any way MPs are concerned about privacy, they nearly succeeded in getting their expenses claims kept secret.

Anonymous said...

When I was younger and even dafter than I am now I used to think that these sort of measures would never be implemented by a labour government.I associated labour with looking after the ordinary guy. I used to to believe that something like this would be something that only a "right wing" government would implement. I probably associated "right wing" with fascism having over the years absorbed subtle and less subtle left wing propaganda. But of course socialism is all about control and curtailment of liberty. Look at all socialist regimes. It.s all they have to offer. It.s all they are good at.

Old Holborn said...

worth a watch

Anonymous said...

PS as far as I am aware not a peep from the the lib dems/conservatives about this. Appalling.Their silence speaks volumes

Anonymous said...

And who ever said the EU is going to become the real version of V for vendetta are spot on as well!

Even "V for Vendetta" is not-so-subtle propaganda. The evil fascist government is run by Christian fundamentalists; it's very nationalistic, and it persecutes all of the fashionable PC minorities. The name "Norse Fire" is said to be based on "National Front". And Lewis Prothero is a blatant "voice of the Daily Mail" caricature. When you watch V for Vendetta, you are being manipulated.

It would have been truly daring to put the language and ideals of socialism into the mouth of "Chancellor Sutler". Maybe that would have been more realistic as a vision of our future, but I doubt the filmmakers would have got the support of Euan Blair or access to Westminster. "You think New Labour is bad?" say the filmmakers. "Look what you'll get if you vote us out." No wonder Alan Moore didn't want to be associated with it.

Anonymous said...

I think that every communication we send should contain words such as kill, semtex, assassinate MP, 7.62 rounds and thousands of other such keywords or phrases to totally swamp their systems with "terrorist" alarms and make it unusable. Fuck the cunts.

Anonymous said... fact you can include spoof phrases like "bomb at Charing Cross on thursday" invisibly in your own writings by just using white text.
You could have an explanatory message to the receiver as well, maybe written in a jpg or gif, which would take the cunts a lot of time to read.
It's dead simple to render their spying machine useless.

T England said...

"It's dead simple to render their spying machine useless".

It's going to be fun!
Maybe we should all buy second hand lap tops & use other peoples wifi conections when sending our so called terrorist plans to each other!
Like to see them trace that back :o)

K. McEgan. said...

Earthlet Nigel.Clarification.Virgin pig fuckers?Does this mean they fuck virgin pigs?Yours Sincerly Khaled ibn Yusuf McEgan.

Roger Thornhill said...

"Big Vern" Coaker is just a figurehead doing what he is told.

Behind Big Vern is a nasty, prod-nosed quiet man with neatly clipped fingernails.

This shadowy figure is the one needing some deep packet inspection after being taken into "The Marigold Suite".

Anonymous said...

OH - could you remind us again about 15th June closer to the date? Perhaps we should send to both Jacky's private & official email?

Anonymous said...

Resist much, obey llttle.
Once unquestioning obedience, once fully enslaved.
Once fully enslaved, no nation, state, city of this Earth, ever
afterward resumes its liberty.

- Walt Whitman.

AngryDave said...

How is all our data going to be safe with the government? These fuckers cant be trusted with anything. They dont exactly have a good track record with keeping data safe. If our data, emails, phone records are all stored, and stored in one place it just makes it easier for some hacker to get hold of it. ALL OF IT!
If the EU think they are going too far, and they are a bunch of cunts, then this government is not just incompitant, the are fucking dangerous.

They pretend that they want to keep us all safe from terrorists, but all they want to do is control every aspect of our lives. Personaly, i would rather take my chances with the terrorists.

mikey said...

Vernon Creedy. I've been watching you for a while now. Does that make you feel comfortable? well? does it? Fuck off you pointless, waste of carbon, fucking cunt. You and your ilk are so much shit on our shoes. We despise you. Here's the were not born with the right to observe my life and make me what you want me to be, you are after all a obvious fucking wanker. Be a dear and fuck off will you. Fuck me, I hate you and your kind.

Anonymous said...

"Combatting terrorism", if they were preparing the way for the next Caliphate they could hardly be doing better.

AngryDave said...

I have forwarded all my spam on. Hope they enjoy it.

Von Spreuth said...

And don't think you will get rid of it all by voting in the "other lot". Point one they are only the center right of the labour party anyway, but point two, if you think ANY politician of ANY clour would willingly throw THIS baby out with the bath water, you need your head reading.

Von Brandenburg-Preu├čen.

Chalcedon said...

LMAO. They will simply have information overload. Also, will it include internet Skype phone calls? I expect not.

Right then. Triacetone triperoxide, RDX, bomb, medical caesium discards, central London.

Can you think of a few more ket words for GCHQ?

Earthlet Nigel said...

K.McEgan aka Khaled

Please allow body and mind to run riot, and revel in the images so conjured. May your god be with you. Earthlet Nigel

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Once more our administration ennact some unwanted EU directive to the Nth degree and then add more.

Information overload it is then.
Poloniumn supplies
That hazel bears is a right slag
Anthrax arrives
Mujahadeen brothers I beseach you
Osama is hiding at
death of mandelson is required twitter bollox
I just took a shit
blow up the reactors
I can't find my pants
Gordon Brown is a fat cunt
secret policemans ball

ad infinitum with every communication.

I have 400 spam e-mails in my junk box, off to some govt addys with them.


Why not just steam open our fucking post and read our diaries whilst they're at it???

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