Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Roasting Matilda

Posted by stanislav, young polish plumber to Old Holborn at 10 February 2009 03:09

Oz PM acts like whingeing Pommy bastard.

Clintonesque in this gruesome, fiery tragedy, Australia’s caring and touchy-feely prime minister, Kev, is clearly incapable of providing the mature leadership expected, demanded of statespersons in times of disaster and crisis; instead, blubbering and emoting facetiously, in the style of Spunky Bill or of our own deeply unmissed, pretty, straightguy, Blair - Ah feel your pain, or is it the hand of History? - Kev behaves like a character from Neighbours winning a BAFTA - tearful, incredulous, camera-hungry, moved by all the little people, not one inch the prime minister. It is as though Winston Churchill had said I am totally and absolutely gutted, devastated, by these horrible Nazis and I will run away from them in the fields and in the landing grounds; give us the job and we will break the tools. Prime ministers, even Aussies, are not supposed to blubber, they are supposed to stiffen the backbone, gird the national loins for recovery, not whimper, like puppies.

In swiftly crying mass murder, though, Kev compounds his effete maladroitness with an echo of the moustachioed little Dago who, after the Madrid Massacree, immediately yelled It’s ETA wot done it, take my word for it, por favour and was promptly thrown out on his warmongering, midget, coalition of the willing arse.

Australia, ever prone to this shit, has been in the grip of an exceptional drought for some years now, irrigation has vanished, farming incomes in some states reduced by ninety per cent, the land tinder-dry; any responsible government would have foreseen this and made better - or some - contingency plans, some evacuation arrangements; speechless, stupid and tongue-tied, the hapless Kev casts around, like Gordon the Ruiner, for someone else to blame – kids, arsonists, some bastard. Kev and the Asian-Pacific press are in Arsonist Overdrive, “Experts” say that these things are always, or half of the time, or sometimes started by people, that there is “no way nature can just do this shit.” Right. In the Serengeti, too and all the other places which quite naturally burst into flames, it must have been arsonists all along, best find some and jail their arses and never mind that the authorities told people to either leave or stay and fight the fire, whatever; just you do your own thing, Bruce.

Even, of course, if it was arsonists, the same “experts” say that it’s always arsonists, so, given the extraordinary nature of the threat posed by an extended drought and by the eternal presence of the arsonists, the authorities are still culpable. Oz must anticipate a Michael Howard style Dangerous Arsonists Act or a post-Dunblane style Banning of Matches in Private Hands as politicos thrash around covering their backs.

Given Australia’s prime ministerial deficiency in the stiff upper lip department and the criminal stupidity of national and state officials, the people of Victoria deserve our compassion and such aid as we can provide. Having saved the world for Authoritarian Capitalism, Slash Gordon should be able to piss as far as Australia not just down his trouserleg and extinguish this conflagration, it’s the right thing to do. It is interesting to note, however, the contrast between our mainstream media’s gushing response to this - at least partially natural - disaster and to the entirely avoidable carnage in Gaza recently - a slo-mo, heavy metal ballet destructif, choreographed and performed for the electoral advantage of a clutch of cynical and deeply objectionable career politicos in Tel Aviv.

In the week that Baghdad, Falluja and Gaza came calling Down Under and punched Kev in his stupid, bleating face, wall-to-wall coverage of the calamitous forest fires is quite rightly focused on individual loss and sorrow and courageously, the BBC is even showing a telephone number, via which people can donate, objectively. No-one questions the numbers killed, none doubt the testimony of eye witnesses, everything is a fact, nothing a claim, there is no guilt here, by association; no variable tariff in Death’s petty cash book –one Israeli worth a hundred thousand Gazans. Those killed, maimed and made refugee in Australia, somehow, one must conclude, are less controversial, more deserving than the wogs in Gaza, whose burned and dead children are, must be, more culpable; the instruments of their own immolation. These Moslems, what are they like, eh?

The duplicity and the self-protectionism of politicians is hard-wired. Kev should have said I am sorry this has happened on my watch, obviously everybody knew of this possibility and obviously we fell short in anticipating and planning for it, this is the worst disaster in our history and I am the prime minister, obviously I shall step down; fortunately, as ever, there is an enemy within, arsonists, psychos, Abos, terrorists, take your pick, anybody but Kev - or George or Tone or Gordon or Barack; Islamic arsonists, that would be perfect.

Australia should of course kick-out this tear-stained, useless bastard, Kev, for failing to protect her against a clear and present danger; if, mourning her smouldering dead, caring for her melted kin and lamenting her vanished homes she felt a moment’s affinity with the wretched of the Middle East, that, among all this shit, would be something rare and beautiful.


The Penguin said...

Just chuck another prawn on the Barbie, rip open a Fosters, and Kev's yer uncle.

The Penguin

it's either banned or compulsory said...

I suppose it is Kev 'playing the arsonists card', whatever that may mean.

Serious Australians will be aware that in many habitats forest fires are an essentiial driver for growth and replenishment. Indeed some plants seeds have been shown to only germinate following such a fire.
In hindsite placing your house in a woody area might be akin to staying in San Fransico knowing that it is going to get another earthquake or, even more foolhardy, rebuilding in New Orleans.
And yes, I am more concerned about their two hundred dead ( cf Bali bomb ) than I am about Gaza because my direct relatives live there, loads of them.

Poor things, oop north in Oz they have been hit so badly by floods that crocodiles are being washed into suburban living rooms


Dave said...

Good post Stan.

I thought the Oz hated the whinging pom but it seems they have one as PM. Strewth!

And true to form they're looking for someone to blame.

The Penguin said...

What's the difference beween a jumbo jet engine and an Australian?

The jet engines stops whining when it lands at Heathrow.

The Penguin

MisterE said...


It's in their genes - well, some of them, anyway...

The Penguin said...

What can you expect from a "nation" selected by the English Judiciary?

The Penguin

charcoal said...

Arsonists, Mass Murder.

Here's a clue for the Police, he's probably called Captain Swing.

without reservation said...

on behalf of my forefathers, may i today rebalance the dreamtime and take this solemn opportunity to apologize to all genocidal immigrant cunts for the pandemic and historic granting of illegal planning permission - a tragic error of judgment sadly compounded by failure to notify in triplicate that the bush was not a very good location for domestic residency. we in the aboriginal community are truly sorry for the ongoing misery our corrupt and selfish actions have caused the white man ever since the day he consideately drove us at rifle-point from our health-and-safety-hazard-rich ancestral territories. we will also make a concerted effort not to get pissed up and accidentally leave empty whisky bottles lying around in the tinder when we could better employ our free time going to school and benefitting from the torch of european wisdom.

The Penguin said...

Good for you, sonny, apologies always welcome. Now fuck off back to the reservation, there's a good lad.

The Penguin

an ex-apprentice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
an ex-apprentice said...

Fucking Australasia?

Have we run out of domestic targets for ridicule and derision?

Are there not enough arrogant, incompetent, misappropriating, contemptible cunts here to go around?

Are we not knee deep in these loathsome fuckers?

Come home, Mr Stanislav, all is forgiven.

Bring guns and explosives and plenty of rope.

Anonymous said...

"These Moslems, what are they like, eh?"

Psychotic, murdering fucking arsonists apparently...


Yet again, this increasingly pro-Muslim blog *completely* misses the truth behind the news and merely trots out (or should that be Trots out) some whining Dhimmi fucking nonsense.

Are you *sure* you aren't all in the Labour Party ?


stanislav, a young polish plumber said...

an ex-apprentice said...

Fucking Australasia?

Never been away.

Yes, we are knee-deep and it's just that it is, in this instance, so clearly a model of our own process; denial of responsibility, blame shifting, rabble rousing and undoubtedly expenses fiddling too - and don't forget that Kev is the Upside-Down version of Tony Blair, welcomed by all in NewLabour, even Gordon the Ruiner. Why shouldn't we give him some Global Village stick? And why shouldn't we deride the apparently phoney phlegmaticism of the pestilential, loudmouth Bruces and Sheilas as much as we do the inbred mutancy of Jock. It is these nationalistic shibboleths to which we are all, gathered here, opposed, isn't it? Aren't these the shackles by which we are bound to the oppressive systems and personalities which you so excoriate, doesn't Australian Labour cross-pollinate with our own filth, don't the bent Republicans entertain the braying, pinstripe freaks from Planet Dave?

Anonymous said...

"These Moslems, what are they like, eh?

AS for you, you fucking moron, don't you racist filth see that you are doing Frau Schmidt's work for her, that thanks to braindead, reactionary fuckwits like you she will be able to pass ever-more restrictive legislation, even on dumb white trash like you. At least the formal Labour trolls know what they're doing. You, on the other hand, couldn't find the hole in your arse with both hands, even in preparation for Gordon shoving one up you, sweet thing.

This blog, in passing, shithead, as you woukd know if you could read and not just react, is not pro-Muslim, just, mostly, pro-humanity, no wonder you feel left out. SS and Gestapo nouvelle, that's the place for you,mate; they'll be along soon enough.

As for your link, don't you know that just because some eejit posts it online doesn't make it true, however much you want it to be? The really galling thing about stupid people like you, though, is that no matter how you applaud the Israeli terror, if there were no ragheads for you to bully you'd be first in the queue for some JewBaiting. Best get your mummy to iron your nice brown shirt, looks like you'll need it, big boy.

ps Trots with a capital T, that was really funny, that was. Stupid cunt.

Old Holborn said...


This blog WILL attack anyone who attacks individual liberty

Jews - Muslims - Christians - New Labour - the Tories - the BNP - the State.

I don't care who you are. Tell me how to live my life and expect me to tell you to fuck off, at the very least.

I belong to me and mine and I will ruthlessly pursue anyone who says otherwise.

Anonymous said...

"...even on dumb white trash like you"

That one comment alone gives you away for the smug middle-class pseudo-intellectual cunts that you are, Libertarians.

Kneel down and suck that Muslim cock, you fucking cunts.

charlie said...

Anonymous 00h19 - "pseudo-intellectual"? Only the most pseudo-intellectual of cunts would dream of using a term like that.

Wow, just like you I can take one measly detail and pretend it's more than it is. Shut up and fucking die you prick.

Anonymous said...

OH that post wasn't entirely fair australia is big and flammable, some of our fellow human beings perished in a dreadful way, and a man is upset by horrible death. alright, he may be a politician, but anyone who isn't moved by people burned to a cinder has something badly wrong with them. not a subject for levity or reproof. am disappointed in you which is not usually the case.

an ex-apprentice said...

Dear Mr Stanislav,

In truth it would make little difference to me if you penned 10,000 words on the mating habits of the Lesser Spotted Three Kneed Ethiopian Cockroach - I would still savour every word in awe of your mastery of our language.

I almost wish you would, because I confess the events of the last few days have left me utterly weary of the antics of our ruling class and reluctant to even consider updating myself on their latest fuckwitted escapades.

The doubling of the toxic asset insurance scheme, £400 billion of taxpayers money to be put at risk; a lunatic endeavour that, if the Treasury get it wrong, and they will, could easily cost us £200 billion. And this is just announced, this mind-boggling sum, this uncertain roll of the dice using the earnings of my grandchildren as chips, as though it were a long range weather forecast for Rockall and Forties. The response of the Meeja or the people? Total fucking silence. The mute, braindead acceptance of the couldn't-care-less, happy to be led by the couldn't-give-a-fucking-toss.

Then the Smith expenses scandal. Dealt with in 5 minutes flat by the obsequious toady Lyon; no evidence to justify investigation, newspaper reports not sufficient, move along now. And Smith's smug, arrogant smirking, complacent face says it all "How dare you question me, don't you know who I am?"

And the piece de resistance, the banning of Wilders by Jack Straw. I could go on at length about this, but I have already done so elsewhere, so I won't bore you.

Each event minor perhaps in itself, within the grander scheme of things, but each somehow a straw too far. They leave me, on top of everything else, immensely depressed and demoralised at the state of our country in general and our political institutions in particular.

As if the wrecking ball this government has taken to every aspect of the fabric of our society was not enough, by their total destruction and corruption of the relationship of trust and confidence between Government and the People, they deny us even the vaguest hope of improvement, let alone salvation. This is perhaps the very worst of all their many crimes.

The level of public expectation in the honesty, integrity, wisdom and competence of our politicians has now fallen to such desperately low levels that it would require a miracle for it to be restored. Yet unless we, the people, demand the highest standards of those in high office, we will continue to receive the standard of governance we deserve.

Would we accept similar slipshod standards in a surgeon, or a car mechanic, or even in a plumber?

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