Wednesday, 18 February 2009

Hard Times

It is reported in the Times today that state databases monitoring the worker drones will cost us £34 BILLION over the next ten years.

I suggest that a cheaper and more honest way would be for the state to simply get us to fill in a form with the following questions

what do you read?

what do you vote?

who do you talk to?

what are you saying?

What are they saying?

where have you been and where are you going?

what are you thinking?


If a Gummint form dropped through your letterbox with those questions on it, would you answer it? Because that is exactly why they are spending £34 Billion of OUR money. To find the answers to that list of very sinister questions. What they do with those answers will be interesting.....and equally as sinister.

Remind me again, who voted for this?


Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Interesting times OH, interesting times.

polaris said...

OH - you gotta laugh or you'd cry...

Sir Henry Morgan said...

what do you read?

Anything that comes my way.

what do you vote?


who do you talk to?

Anyone who'll listen to me.

what are you saying?

This country's gone down the toilet hasn't it.

What are they saying?

You wouldn't Coco.

where have you been and where are you going?

Been to infinity, and heading back there.

what are you thinking?

You're a bunch of cunts.


See above - just the questions.

mikey said...

Oh fucking hell can't we just get to the lamp post/piano wire bit? They are useless, evil fucking cunts, we know it and we know what to do about it.

Harrithebastard said...

A mate of mine was at that hell hole of an excuse for an airport Stansted , he has Addisons disease: and therefore requires a Stymer bag attached via a tube to his bowels.. before he reached the scanner he explained and produced a letter from the hospital that gave a full medical explanation that this person requires a bag around his stomach and could prove embarrassing if ' searched ' the so called boy of a security guard asked him what was in the bag ? my friend calmly replied ... Shit ? still did not stop them though .. he was escorted into a side room by armed police with his two children in tow .... he was made to undress , and guess what they found ..... a bag full of ... SHIT ?

Mind you i would not want not be on the plane if it did explode , fuck it if he can laugh about it then so can i .. still a fucking disgrace though .

Musthava Macdonald said...

what do you read? Koran

what do you vote? Sharia

who do you talk to? Jihadist

what are you saying? alla alkabar, death to the infidels

What are they saying? Best ways to do a jihad.

where have you been and where are you going? been to Heathrow and going to Westminister

what are you thinking? where to put my bomb for allah

why? I want them virgins, all 72 of them and I am randy as a buck.

Mahatma-Guru Prem Shivanande Krishnamurthi said...

what do you read?
Mahatma-Guru Prem Shivanande Krishnamurthi's Six Secrets for Spiritual Success*

(*Now with FREE Dreamcatcher!)

what do you vote?
Mahatma-Guru Prem Shivanande Krishnamurthi's Super-Natural Law Party

who do you talk to?
My many successful followers!

what are you saying?
Enlightenment cannot be described in words.

What are they saying?
Tell us more! Take more money and tell us more!!!

where have you been and where are you going?
I am always here. I am never there.

what are you thinking?
I am merely observing the passing of thoughts without interference or judgement. AND YOU CAN TOO! For only $999.99+Tax, including Introductory Seminar** and home study pack, YOU can achieve the same Enlightenment that took the Buddha seven weeks to achieve in 24 hours!

**Mahatma-Guru Prem Shivanande Krishnamurthi may not be present at Introductory Seminar


Chicks dig it!

max the impaler said...

Oh enlightened one of the 'path of the divine sandal,' could you please forward to me asap your enlightenment program.I am sending you $2000 in British 3yr Gilts.Could you let me have $2001 change in gold sovs or Krugs.I am in desperate need of your spiritual guidance as I have just read an article by a divine being saying I have not paid enough tax and that the social disintegration of my country is all my fault for not understanding the plight of the holy chav.My previous guru the 'Cunti di tutti cunta' the divine Gormless McTwat has proved to be a false prophet.Mea culpa, mea culpa.

Dick the Prick said...

I don't believe it - I think the sums are wrong. They've taken people with nebulous job titles and extracted them from the total - I reckon £34 bill is about 3 years.

Kinda have a bit of knowledge about this.

WV: hinges - as in 'off its fucking..'

Gareth said...

The cost of the databases are not sole the problem (though rubbish in = rubbish out will apply). Who will be able to access those databases and why, is. Hundreds of thousands of people will. A minority will use it for blackmail, ridicule or as a means to make money. There is a substantial flaw in it though. The database culture will allow and encourage all users of it to report even the most minor of details. With a suffocating precautionary principle at work they will naturally do this because if they don't, and things later go wrong, questions will be asked of them.

For it to work as the politicians want this cannot be retrospective as CCTV often is. As discretion is being removed from the system this will result in floods of information that would normally be discarded as irrelevant having to be entered, inspected and retained. It will have to be manned by an army of unthinking jobsworths who will have to keep passing things higher and higher up the chain until someone has the authority to make decisions.

It won't work. But that is no reason not to fight it's inception.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely right. If we were all required to register what news papers/articles, magazines we read. What radio TV programmes we watched and have all our snail mail copied and archived you would still get some useful idiot saying "well if you have nothing to hide...." They have no concept of the human need for privacy. They would shit in glass walled public toilets if the authorities ordained it.

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