Saturday, 14 February 2009

A Draper's Tale - by Stanislav, a young Polish Plumber

A Draper's Tale

Letter to Derek, from Love'sLaboursLost

This fracas in cyberspace does raise, as they say, interesting questions.

Are, for instance global travellers on the information Superhighway, commenting, bound by the same arch and obscurantist politesse as is Westminster - dishonourable and right dishonourable thieving lying bastards on all sides facetiously bowing and scraping at one another, a faux courtliness masking an unprincipled gutter trade - or is it the case that the Internet is, as intended, a prohibitions-free zone, rightly uncorraled by UK legislation and convention ? Are bloggers to call on some CyberSpeaker to insist, point of order, that so-and-so withdraws that last remark?

It does seem that, as with much else, the House of Commons and its agents would, in matters of self-expression, ever restrict, proscribe, cajole and punish; the cry of I Spy Racist, here, being an example of the over-regulatory tendencies of all in MediaMinster.

Of nearly three hundred comments on the posting at order-order, a handful, fewer than usual, actually, are witty, many are angry, bilious, frustrated and another handful could be deemed deeply unpleasant; that comment moderation is enabled indicates that the truly incendiary comments are being filtered-out, so an element of notional Decency - always a difficult value judgement to make - is loosely imposed - for some, of course, any censoring is counterproductive; how can you challenge the unspeakable when none can speak it or hear it ? It must, nevertheless, be acknowledged that, as with the peurile TottyWatch - Guido aping that giant of Fleet Street, the great Libertarian, Mr Kelvin McKenzie - order-order does invite and provoke comment which it's owner, while clearly welcoming and celebrating, carefully refrains from making himself; this, though, is just the nature of show business and you have no business criticising Mr Fawkes' act or in pronouncing magisterially upon what may and may not appear in cyberspace, as though you are the sole arbiter not only of taste but of right and wrong.

There exists a legal framework for punishing incitement to racial hatred, if that is insufficiently potent you should lobby for it's strengthening; the reality of modern Britain, however - never mind the global audience which even a poor plumber can address, via the Internet - is that so-called incorrect language is the norm. In factories - such as remain - in pubs, in cafes, in clubs, at football grounds, in fact, everywhere outside the charmed circles of wealthy, political celebrity and Guardian-advertised "posts" in the public sector, where such corectness is rigidly policed, the comments which offend you so are everyday currency, that's how life is and order-order is, if anything, more tilted to "correctness" than you allow; more considerate and tolerant of Otherness than is assumed in your critique. Even within the component nations of the Union, hatreds, resentments and grievances flourish for centuries, mostly, these days, without incident; it is simply impossible to frame laws to make people like people they don't want to like. And rightly so, people will homogenise in time by their own efforts and exigencies, the State need only police the policeable- unfair discrimination, oppression and violence.

A minority of the country, a small minority, listens to Radio 4, reads the broadsheets, ho-ho-ho, watches Newsnight; an even smaller minority joins political parties; the endless, tyrannical rebukes from the braying, self-congratulatory Yasmin Alibhai Brown, the remorseless chiding of the ill-educated Melanine Phillips, the purple-faced why-oh-whyisms of Simon Heffer; the breathless I-Know-Bestism of Will Hutton and now the manufactured righteous indignation of Labour'sList, the sermonising cacophony, in short, from those whose only talent is to reprove, whose only industry is to hector, falls on deaf ears. The often coarse but evidently heartfelt jibes, however, of those who worship at order-order, reveal, in their vulgarity and acidity, in their anarchical bellicosity, the temper of the times.

Labour and Tory members, engineers of a racist holocaust in Iraq, promoters of and shareholders in AirTorture Inc. and joint authors of creeping totalitarianism at home can take their purse-lipped anti-racism sermons and preach them in the hospitals of Baghdad and Gaza and Kabul, among those made refugee to secure Tony Blair's fortune, his medal of Dishounour, let them preen and strut before the child amputees, the blind, the melted; let them, before they further lecture anyone, explain, if they can, the anti-racist credentials they reveal in this most recent Crusade.

You assume, Mr Draper, a morality which is obviously not yours, a correctness which your every word and action disown but most importantly and risibly, you claim a competence made ridiculous by each preposterous, daily maladroitness of the ludicrous Mr Brown and his Ship of Fools; in belittling the perfectly understandable outrage, rancour and cynicism for which order-order is a lightning conductor you demonstrate a complete failure to understand not only which way the wind blows but that there is a wind at all; here, you are out of your depth. Your Country, as Earl Kitchener might have said had he known you, doesn't need you.

Enlist who you will, marshal the whole of Westmister but you can't do this. You have neither the wit nor the industry; others may, Guido, for one, does, you don't. If you would, as we all should, assist what remains of the workers movement against the depradations of House of Commons Banking plc, you would go away, son, and spin no more.


an ex-apprentice said...

Dear Mr Stanislav,

I believe you are, uncharacteristically, in the case of Dolly the Sheep, much too reticent and far too kind.

Screech said...

and Dolly said ...."racist!!"

Ronald McDonald said...

I only asked if you wanted fries with that?

Oldrightie said...

I don't care how good anybody tries you cannot change the fact that Labour are led by a piece of shit and a coterie of effluence in which Dolly swims with all the others, quite naturally.

Dick the Prick said...

Cheers Stan. As bittersweet as grapefruit - liked the AirTorture Inc bit - recession proof and perks like Diego Garcia for the scuba.


Superb; one of the best blog posts I've ever read; deeply incisive, thoughtful, farseeing.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Thanks Stan, finely observed and amusingly told, as usual; saved to my documents for reference ( or possibly evidence, you have to be able to give them something, right ? ).
I have never read any of the Draper persons opinions so have no views on them and usually ignore threads on the subject, but he does look like a right tit.

Captain Smith - Ice? fuck, there is ice, did that come from America said...

A wordly joy.

subrosa said...

It's my opinion, for what it's worth, that Draper is getting far too much publicity. If we didn't link to his site, ignored his accusations and bletherings then he'd be left with his fawning fan club and nothing else.

Best way.

microdave said...

"it is simply impossible to frame laws to make people like people they don't want to like."

After visiting the site of the slow motion car crash (LabourList) this was one of my thoughts. I felt like posting a reply, but I'm dammned if I'm going to register, just to have my contribution deleted.

Draper just doesn't get it, does he? The more his slimy colleagues try and control peoples thoughts, the more likely they are to vote for a party like the BNP.

Dick Smith said...

I note our resident grammarian and literary critic still cannot spell puerile, and still has trouble with his double ''r's......correctness and Dishonour not dishounour.

So quick to judge and dismiss the efforts of other bloggers, still living in his glasshouse.

Basil Brown said...

Snotty's delusional mind, haunted by it's own inadequacies, paranoias sated only by hysterical lashings-out at anyone daring to criticise, has infected the whole Labour Party. The already-corrupt organisation now behaves in the same demonstrably unhinged manner as their leader and Dripper Duck's online mental-breakdown is the perfect embodiment of this.

Dripper was attempting to create a false-reality in accord with Snotty's myopic version of "acceptable" Britain; one where the outrages of the last 12 years either haven't happened, don't matter to anyone, or are all the fault of someone else. Those within the club are allowed to bask in radiated self-righteousness, those without are "lower than vermin".

Nulabor behave as a dangerous fundamentalist quasi-religion, denouncing it's opponents always as being somehow beyond the pale, whilst giving themselves unlimited license to oppress. For "racist" substitute "satanic". For "unacceptable" substitute "blasphemous". Theirs is a most accomodating god and there is nothing this scum will not do in her name.

Anonymous said...

and Dolly said ...."racist!!"

Doesn't Dolly realise that thanks to years of overuse and misuse the epithet is completely devalued and is now largely restricted to being used by overwrought teenagers or folk after a few quid compo. Also Imagine the indignity of people like Dolly being offended on your behalf? Now that is racism!

Cato said...

Absofuckinglutely wonderful.

I am bereft of speech...super.!!

Anonymous said...

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane -
Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -
world serves its own needs, regardless of your own needs. Feed it up a knock,
speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,
down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for
hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies
breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered
crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population,
common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its
own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright
light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn,
return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning,
blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle,
light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh,
this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament,
a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives
and I decline.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite.
Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,
slam, but neck, right? Right.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine...

(It's time I had some time alone)

Anonymous said...

BOOM BOOM, both barrels.
Dear sir, please reload and if need be have another go.
I for one hope never to be a target for your keyboard.

Anonymous said...

Seems like Millipede, Banana King has been acting against the best interests of the country he is supposed to represent - the UK for those in any doubt (now that's a surprise for a ZaNuLab politician - NOT)

bofl said...

fat jacq caught red handed

60million of us!!!!!!

Chalcedon said...

As we say in Japan......"Sugoi"....EXCELLENT. A very creditable and indeed charitable piece.

Frank Fisher said...

Dear Mr Young Polish Plumber, Stan, you are of course entirely correct. I realise you live in Scotland, the best part of England, but if you should find yourself at a loose end the weekend after next, Sat 28th Feb, do try and get yourself along to Cambridge Union where the subject of internet censorship and this shitty government's objective to silence us all shall be discussed by my good self and some ladies, under the umbrella of the Convention on Modern Liberty - all are welcome, it's free, and if you successfully identify me and use the phrase "You are Frank Fisher, god amongst men, and I claim my free pint" I shall buy you a pint.

offer extends to all in this good place, terms and conditions apply.

Old Holborn said...

If you are looking for a guest speaker Frank, I'm up for it

FrankFisher said...

I think the panel's full OH, but you can be first sub if you like!

Come along - or if you go to the London event, please punch Sunny Hundal for me...

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