Thursday, 26 February 2009

Daily Wind Up

This might become a new feature. Let me know what you think in the comments

Daily News Quick Wind Up

Nice to see that
violent people on curfew are allowed out to murder innocent shoppers, whilst I expect a lorry driver who stabbed a punch of pikeys robbing his truck will no doubt spend the rest of his life in jail.

On the lighter side, cigarette vending machines are to be
banned in Scotland, presumably in case it makes the heroin addled drunken wife beaters more unhealthy than they already are (personally speaking, life expectancy can’t be short enough in Glasgow) and clubbing seems to be all the rage in the Hebrides

Our Welsh cousins are still doing what they do best, that is helping themselves to as many
welfare benefits as they can lay their hairy palms on and raping children and the Northern Irish have a remarkable day in that no one was eaten, set alight or exploded.

All courtesy of Pravda

Tell me about any other stupid snippets you spot and they'll be included tomorrow
Update: it'll be weekly and thanks to GOT for the image (PS He also has Tractorstats wonderful library)


Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Excellent idea OH. Do the snippets have to be from Pravda?

Bristol Dave said...

Your MS Paint skillz are second-to-none, OH.

If it's going to become a regular feature at least let someone do a proper logo. I'll do one if nobody else can.

Old Holborn said...

Yes please.

I normally use Photoshop but haven't got a code for the new one

What's your email address?

Mine is

Old Holborn said...

Rab, definately not.

Just stupid, unusual or idiotic.

Which is why ALL of mine came from Pravda

K. McEgan. said...

Fuck you!Thus far today I have set fire to one panda car,blown up an inflatable doll (called Francesca) and eaten a Somali!

Gareth said...

Not wind ups:

ACPO a "self-perpetuating oligarchy" of senior police officers who would soon gain even more power under the Policing and Crime Bill, says Reform charity.

Bangladesh cell phone netwoiks switched off to try and stem mutiny. I wonder whether the Gubmint via Ofcom (or direct through some enabling act) can do the same. I vaguely recall that in times of TERROR!* attacks emergency services are claimed to get priority access to mobile networks. Surely it's just to stop self-detonating militants as the services will have their own networks?

* MI5 not 9to5 still wibble between SERVERE! and CRITICAL! warnings. Never been any lower since August 2006. We have always been at war with Eurasia.

Goodnight Vienna said...

Make it a week-end roundup, please. It's more than life can bear to have one daily.

Anonymous said...


Fuck off, you ignorant English cunt.

Look at a map or atlas.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Re Nu Lag Ahmed, I was wrong in the earlier post; the cunt is up for release at half time but, wait for it; he will also benefit from the current de-crowding programme that lets ALL prisoners out two and a half weeks even before that !

He'll be out after 3 + 1/2 weeks.

Source, a Probation Service manager.

dickiebo said...

Your comments regarding the Welsh say more about you than about the Welsh. In an equal period of time, I wonder how many such crimes have been committed in England! I guess there are none so blind............

hangemall said...

OH, not stupid in the sense I think you mean but:-

They took this from the Sun but I prefer the graphics on this site.

Youf of today said...

Re: Mobile phone disabling

Not only can they shut off the mobile phone system, they can restrict it to "offical" phones.

I don't have any references to hand, but SIM cards have an eleven (I think) digit code they broadcast as part of joining the network.

SIMs sold to the public have a last digit of six or below, phone company techs and fire brigade/ambulance services get seven, security services eight, cabinet members and the like get nine. Access from any final digit-group can be cut off with almost no effort.

Anonymous said...

Why does some dickhead keep writing text in yellow on a lime green background and how does he/she read what he /she are writing???
Ben Down

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