Friday, 23 January 2009

Give me more rules. I love breaking rules.

Almost ready to go out.

I considered whether to visit the pub tonight. I hummed and hawed and then I read this.

So I'm going out. Before I go I'm having steak and chips, no veg, no salad, no fruit. At the pub there will be no limit. I'm taking more money than I can possibly drink and enough tobacco to smoke myself into a kipper.

Tomorrow I'll still be alive. I base this on a measure statistical probability far more secure than any derived by those fake charities who insist on controlling every bite, swallow and puff. Every time I've done this in the past, I've woken up the next morning. Every time, without fail. Except one New Year when I woke up late the next afternoon, but that was an especially good one.

It is possible, of course, that the only reason I haven't died is sheer bloody-mindedness. It is possible that I breathe and move for no other reason than it annoys the Righteous. Good enough for me. I can't think of any better reason to be alive.

Enough talk. Drinking time's a-wasting.

(If I post anything later, ignore it. It's unlikely to be coherent).


The Penguin said...

Chips are veg.

Have a nice evening, I'll be raising a glass or three later on myself.

The Penguin

Shirking From Home said...

They really can fuck off on this one.

I tend to stay in more since the smoking ban, drinking more too as the kitchen is next door, there isn't a queue and I've already paid for the lot. Jacqboots didn't factor in the more time people have at home allowing them the opportunity to read about this sort of crap.

Mates from the local come around some weekends too. We invariably end up talking about how crap things are and how shit and corrupt the government is. As more people end up staying at home, thanks to Snotty, hopefully the more likely we are to end up marching on Parliament and removing the self serving arseholes for good.

Earthlet Nigel said...

And I shall be joining you. Haven't these cunts yet wol´ken up to the one unassailable fact, that if all of this stuff we're told is bad for us, why is the human race still here?

On the way home, if plod hasn't closed it down early, which is their wont; I shall partake of a kebab with enough super hot chillis in it to weld metal, and duly incinerate my ass in the morning. Mission accomplished

Anonymous said...

I haven't got a fuckin clue what you are saying, My eyes have gome I'm pissed and it is only 20 past 8. Fuck what am I doing.

Anonymous said...

I`m not so sure about this. There`s been a couple of mornings when ive woken and thought I`d died. There`s also been a couple more when ive turned over to see the pig next to me and really wish I`d died. Then again maybe she was thinking the same thing.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

I had three pints on Tuesday, oh no ! I'm a " Danger Drinker "

Please Please HELP ME.

On the other hand fuck off and die though I know you will use this bollox to introduce a morality tax on alcohol before insisting that I apply for an alcohol permit ( refused for kiddies, criminals, anti-social types and telly tax rebels ) and then introduce personal quotas the trading of which will render me a criminal.

Go on, just fuck off. I'm not "confused", cunt, I know just how much it takes to get me pissed, thank you.

Anonymous said...

Daily Mash

Chalcedon said...

They are liars. What do they think EVERONE drank since the Romans were here until decent quality water became available during early Victorian times? It was beer. Large beer, beer and small beer for children. It was the only safe thing to drink apart from wine, which was only for posh aristos. According to these zealots, if the bollocks they talk was true, we would not exist as our ancestors would all have died from liver damage and those men who didn't would have brewers droop and hene no children. I suppose these were good times for ugly wome though.

Chalcedon said...


Edit button please.

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