Sunday, 25 January 2009

Besmirch the Title of Lord

Some dark Lord or other

So Lords think they can break rules, solicit privilege and generally Lord it over us whilst laughing at us, do they?

The Landed Title of Lord is something we can all have, motherfuckers.

For a mere £29

Buy yours today. Then cause chaos. Drag the title of Lord through the mud. Book restaurants and don’t turn up. Book hotels and never arrive. Order shit pizzas using your Lord title. Sign all your letters, cheques and credit cards “Lord Fat Lying Cunt of Tattingstone" and then thoroughly abuse it.

Prizes for the most creative way to make the title of Lord a scourge, a label for dishonesty and villainy.

Let the fun begin.

£29 worth of MISCHIEF. Let US become Lords of the Dance and lead these fuckers a merry one. Trash the title. Make it worse than worthless.

Yours, for £29.


Barnsley Bill said...

What little vestiges of respect any of us had for the lords was lost when that kunt mandelsnake was reincarnated.. The latest case of Labour felchlords trousering money for policy just rams it home.
But you fuckers will just keep asking labour to push it in a little more.. For pity's sake they are up to the back wheels in you all now.

K. McEgan. said...

Tried your link and got nada.Count de Komarowsky.

Anonymous said...

It's over - 'cause this is England it will take a while. 'Felchlord' is funny as fuck by the way.

Sue said...

That's well cool!

I think I shall become Lady Susan of Tattingstone :), they'll be impressed here in Spain!

Sue said...

We are getting a Lord and Lady pack for Valentines Day, I have just consulted my other half :)

Leg-iron said...

I can't get the link to work either. But never mind the lordship. Where can I get that hat?

Bill - you seem to want an uprising. Trouble is, our 'masters' are ready for that. It'll come, I'm sure, but not until they're in disarray.

Little irritants will keep them busy, the same thing they did to keep us all looking the other way.

Barnsley Bill said...

Forget the uprising... Time to leave is a better plan.
I correspond with dozens of people in England that I knew before I left in 88. They are all looking for an exit to somewhere else.
The battle is lost.
You are dying from death by a thousand cuts. When are you all going to decide they have gone too far?
Is it when they are caught selling peerages?
Or when the ex pm makes 12 million a year while troops he put in harms way are ill equipped and there familes are living in shitholes.
Or maybe when the felchlord mandelsnake gets sacked twice, given a big job in europe or is then brought back and put in the Lords. Or maybe when Blair opens the floodgates to every mong, thief, killer and Brit Hater that can managed to get here.
Or are you all waiting for some future dreadful act of corruption/ ridiculousness before you all call the airlines?

Harrithebastard said...

Prizes for the most creative way to make the title of Lord a scourge, a label for dishonesty and villainy.

We will be hard pushed on that one LI ... I thought the current crazy gang at the House of lords had the scourge corner of the market well sewn up?

Anonymous said...

Old Holborn said...

Link fixed

Just posted on Kerry MCarthy's blog


Now that Labour peers have debased the title of Lord to the gutter, I have purchased myself the Landed Title of Lord Old Holborn of Tattingstone. It costs £29 in the interweb.

You shall in future refer to me as your Lordship. As befits my title."

I can hear the sound of an organic lentil flapjack snapping in the distance.

Leg-iron said...

Bill - many have left, and I can't blame them. I've thought about it myself.

I'm just too bloody minded to do it. This is my place. Mine. I live here. I'm going to fight to keep it by whatever means I have available. Not much, but then they took our freedoms in little slices. I aim to get them back the same way.

I might lose but it won't be through lack of trying.

Moving to another country is an option, and I wouldn't disparage anyone who takes that option, but I firmly believe it's just delaying the inevitable. Eventually we'll have to fight back, wherever we are.

I choose here.

Anonymous said...

Beware, not is all as it seems:

Is the link given an affiliate commission earning link OH?

Old Holborn said...

Website owned by

Richard, 7th Earl of Bradford

"Please don't do this. I and I alone have the right to call myself Baron, not you oiks. Now get back to work"

Harrithebastard said...

Lord Old Holborn, if things work out well for me at the deed poll office next week , you and all the other 'earthlings' will be addressing me as " Lord Jesus Christ " for short, and my full title i will be addressed as Lord Jesus Christ Harrithebastard

I like it, i like it a lot.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Harrithebastard My mate Andy was a manager at Archway DHSS with a claimant ( now Service User ) calling himself " Lord Jesus Christ Master Of The Universe ".
They filed him under " Of ".

On the other hand how about some respect for the 3 Tories, the Ulster Unionist and the LibDem Peers who would have nothing to do with this shabby scam ?
They should be

Named and Acclaimed

Seneschal said...

Its cheaper at Sealand:,-lady,-baron-or-baroness,,21

Im moving there!

Mitch said...

sounds like fun but I fear nulab have beaten us to it.

Anonymous said...

We can all rage, (quite rightly) heap abuse on them, but we all know they are going to get away with it. This is what really pisses me off.
Some glorified HOL shop steward talking in a plummy voice feigns shock,says there will an enquiry and from that point we know nothing is going to happen.

Anonymous said...

Lord Old Holborn, can I grease your palm to do me a favour. What I require is a slight tinkering of the law to assist me with my profit margins. How about it?.

Anonymous said...

"Lord Old Holborn, can I grease your palm to do me a favour. What I require is a slight tinkering of the law to assist me with my profit margins. How about it?."

Not a problem. Let's say you ar a large film compnay and would like to film the new Hary Potter film her instead of Prague, where it is cheaper. I will allow you to reclaim ALL the VAT upfront and in return, say £20 Million, the owner of the rights to the film can make a £1 million donation to the Labour party. How does that sound?

It happened

The Penguin said...

They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords,
Lords without anger or honour, who dare not carry their swords.
They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes;
They look at our labour and laughter as a tired man looks at flies.
And the load of their loveless pity is worse than the ancient wrongs,
Their doors are shut in the evening; and they know no songs.

From "The Secret People" by G. K. Chesterton

Harrithebastard said...

Just a thought , when i obtain my title deeds to my two square foot of titled land ... i wonder if i can go metal detecting on it?

The Penguin said...

Lady Royall, fragrant leaderess of the unelected chamber of the Houses of Parliament, whose glittering career has made her completely unknown even with the Great Pigsty, calls Lord Bricktop of Blackburn to her office for a little chat about the unfortunate publicity that has occurred.

Lady Royall: "Now, Lord Bricktop, what is all this about you being prepared to have legislation amended for £120,000 in used notes?"

Bricktop: "Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me. "

Lady Royall: "I was a special adviser to Neil Kinnock, so I certainly know what a cunt is. Now, about these allegations?"

Bricktop: "You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chum, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off."

Lady Royall: "There's no need to take that tone with me, Lord Bricktop. It's my job to find out if there are any skeletons in the cupboard which might embarrass Gordon. He needs to know where the bodies are buried!"

Bricktop: "Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Lady Royall: "Well, thank you for clearing that up, Lord Bricktop."

The Penguin

Harrithebastard said...

With all due respect to my fellow Lord Old Holborn .. i now hold the title of Lord Harri along with my Dear wife ... Lady Harri of Tattingstone ,( yes , i took advantage of the valentines special offer ? well it beats a course of botox or a box of milk tray) so if there are any ' palms to be greased ' thatn would be a three way split then?

Oh hello Oiks . i did not see you there .

Old Holborn said...

Got your Ermine robes yet, cunt?

I'm wearing mine down the pub, before I start a fight with the Landlord and demand to service the local wenches.


Tug those forelocks, peasants (BELCH)

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