Monday, 26 January 2009

"The anger and distrust of the public is too deep for me to be able to regain their trust," Icelandic PM

Take the hint Gordon


DiscoveredJoys said...

If the 4 Labour peers are thought to be guilty, alledgedly, of modifying laws for money, perhaps they should be charged with “Conspiracy to Commit Misconduct in Public Office?”.

It was good enough for the Damien Green farce.

Chris said...

A politician trying to leave the trough with a modicum of dignity? We can only dream of it happening here.

Earthlet Nigel said...

I cannot be troubled to enter into debate with you about resigning your office and calling a General Election, so in very plain invective

The Penguin said...

Doesn't that Lady Royall look a dead ringer for the ginger cunt who threw the pensioners out of their bungalows and then moved in herself?

The Penguin

K. McEgan. said...

No,Pengy,she is,in fact catherine Tate.

K. McEgan. said...

I maen Vivienne Westwood.

Funambulist said...

'A few feet to the right perched Lady Royall, copperish hair swept to one side like a clifftop gorse.
Chinless Lady Royall, onetime close friend of Lord Kinnock, has somehow made it to Leader of the House. Her eyes were open but there was no obvious sign of intelligent life.' (Qientin Letts)

Looks a bit like Cilla Black - but without a personality!

Anonymous said...

Just fuck off snotgobbler before I get angry

Oldrightie said...

Take a hint, Snotty? He was advised not to eat his nasal produce in full view of the whole World. Did he take the hint?

I do love the pic of Snotty on
Worth a visit!

bofl said...

brown is a delusional coward.......

look at the mincing faggot wobbling in the daily mail......

the only sword he would fall on would be on hampstead heath ...

JPT said...

Don't the people in Iceland have reality TV and cheap booze to distract them from politics for heavens sake?!

stanislav, a young polish plumber said...




Readers will be thrilled as this issue of VAZ magazine drops through their letterboxes - those of them, that is, who, and only thanks to NewLabour, still have homes and thus letterboxes; others, warming themselves in the public library, before facing a cold NewLabour night on the park bench and a swift, enjoyable - but not for them - Community Tasering from Citizen-Officers of the Urban Re-Education Squad, may read it from the rack near the door containing useless, clapped-out hobby magazines like the Economist and the Spectator and the Private Eye.

* MRS OILY VAZ NEWS, this issue contains an in-depth interview with Mrs Maria Oily Vaz: Ten Reasons Why I Should Be Lady Vaz – 1, "that fucking old scrote, Elspeth Campbell, is Lady Campbell, innit and her old man husband, Ming, never even owned a cash ‘n’ carry, or a proper House of Bengal Curry House" ..…pages six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.

* VAZ FAMILY NEWS. We have the rupees, but not the ermine, complain the VAZ juniors, Sanjit, Ranjit, and Imran - and some girls who don’t, in our wonderful, musical, and spicy ancient culture, (c.1948) count, only for throwing on the pyre when their revered husband-nonces pass away. Our father, which art not, shamefully, in the House of Lords, deserves better than this. Our father can go and be a thieving, oily, tyrannical, bullying bastard back in Aden, they love all that shit there, you know. Chop your fucking hand off if you criticise MPs, not that they have MPs.

*VAZPRAISE FROM PARLIAMENTARY COLLEAGUES. As chair of the home affairs committee, Keith has helped remove any trace of civil liberties in this, his adopted homeland and the government should show its appreciation, said VAZFAN, Lady Martin Salter, one of NewLabour’s hysterical and gender-dubious, up-and-coming McNutter-Fascists.

VAZ on VAZ. In a frank interview written by himself, Keith Oily Vaz, Labour MP (formerly Nigel Oily Vaz, Tory parliamentary candidate, honest, not invent) tells us how he never did anything wrong while minister for Europe it was all got up by the Telegraph and how his recent voting with six sour-faced, wife-beating, sash-wearing presbyterian-bastard undertakers was a matter of conscience and not because, Gordon the SnotMunching prime minister of England has promised him a peerage, the horrible filthy degenerate one-eyed, lavender-marriaged, warmongering bastard and shit-eating, bad-tempered, cock-sucking, drugged-up maniac who couldn’t, scrabbling with his nail bitten fingers, count the small change in his own pocket and come twice to the same sum, the useless, pampered, inadequate babyman, freak of nature and psychobastard.

People, furthermore, have given me money, hissed Oily Vaz to himself, and I have recommended them for peerages, passports and contracts; simple, perfectly honourable conduct worthy of a shifty, opportunistic, lying piece of shit like my right honourable self – did I tell you that in my humble opinion I am the most important Roman Catholic Asian in the UK, - even though I come from the Middle East - apart the Hinduja Bros, who, with Lord Mandelson and others I did not help secure UK passports, or only a little bit anyway. Now that I have given the prime minister the majority he needed in order to crush, once and for all, the idea that we work for you and not the other way around, I should have a peerage, innit; do you want chilli on this kebab ?

Oily Keith refuted the grounds of his one-month suspension from the commons in 2002 on the grounds that

"Mr Oily Vaz recklessly made a damaging allegation against Miss Eggington to the Commissioner, which was not true, and which could have intimidated Miss Eggington or undermined her credibility"

Where I come from, me duck, Leicester, or Aden, if you must, everybody takes bribes, innit, everybody bullies the citizen, and everybody seeks to misuse their official position. And anyway, if I had done all these bad things how come I am in charge of scrutinising the most important legislation passed by my fellow thieving bastards in their own interests and those of their paymasters eg Mr and Mr Hinduja and various Russian gentlemen who own most of the UK; now, do you want chilli, or do you not want chilli, I am a lawyer and I may sue you and I may also use my parliamentary privilege to embarrass and bully you and you will have no redress. Not if Mr Speaker has anything to do with it.

FREE VAZOSAURUS COMPETITION. Win a coupon exchangeable at your local waste disposal facility for a five-gallon container of poisonous oily rubbish. Simply smirk, sit in your chair and pour it over your head to create your very own OILY VAZ-SLICK, see decent people slip and slide, finally choking to death on the toxic atmosphere which surrounds your every oily, dishonest, self-centred, greedy act. Say aloud “I am an MP/Peer/Lawyer/Banker/Surgeon and you can’t touch me.”

To win your free VAZ-SLICK simply tick which four-letter words from the VAZOSAURUS (other words for Keith/Nigel Vaz MP) apply to the Chair of the home affairs select committee:

Keith/Nigel Vaz is a (circle as appropriate) SLAG, SPIV, PRAT, SHIT, LIAR, ARSE, DICK, FUCK, TURD, CUNT, TWAT. (clue: it’s all of them and many more.)

Mail your correct answers – “Keith Vaz is all of the above” - to Nigel Keith Anthony Standish Vaz, MP, House of Commons, London W1 or to

*NEXT WEEK IN VAZ MAGAZINE: Hundreds of Twenty-something totty reasons why Jock Stringvest Neil should be sacked from the BBC. (apart from him being a crap journalist who hasn't had a good Thalidomide story in forty-odd years, unless you count his monthly BBC interview with fellow filthy old bastard, Peter Stringpenis, brothel-keeper, ponce, slag, smirking, poxed-up, Viagra-fuelled degenerate and embarrassing mouthy, self-opinionated ignoramus and cunt. )

Harrithebastard said...

stanislav, a young polish plumber said...

You may well be right ... but how long do you think it will be before the Gorgon goes ' Ginger '?

A ginger scot, thats not so fucking rare is it?

bofl said...

gordon is a well known ginger!!!!!!

o/h,,,,,re kerry.i think she prefers clams to meat!

Anonymous said...

I've noticed a trend whenever a politician or senior businessman gets caught with his hand in the till, or doing something incompatable with his position.

1. Outright denial.

Then more damning evidece is produced, this leads to...

2.Its not my fault/you don't understand the pressures I'm under,
but no remorse is shown.

The evidence becomes overwhelming...

3. Reluctantly resigns, but is still in denial mode, waits a short time and then extends hand for a payoff.

We don't need any more Chinese trinkets we need their justice system for this stuff.

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