Wednesday, 17 December 2008

A wee dram?

How old is Gorbals Mick? I’ve just read that the average life expectancy of your wife beating, heroin addled Glasgow born porridge wog is a mere 62.2 years, the lowest in Europe.

UPDATE: Gorbals Mick is 63 years old. Looks like he is literally living on borrowed time, the fat Jockanese pissboiler. I've put some extra champagne on ice in case he croaks over Crimbo.


The Last Of The Few said...

Dont talk about us Celtic folks like that you warm beer sipping, strig vest wearing, hankie on the head in summer, carrot crunching, goat molesting southern nancy.

Makes a change to bitchin about politics.

Thud said...

62 years living in glasgow must seem like an eternity.

The Penguin said...

How come the upper echelons of our government are rife with the fucking porridge gobblers?

If Scotchland is so fucking great why are they here fucking things up rather than enjoying the delights of their own homeland?


The Penguin

The Penguin said...

NB No offence intended to any persons of Scots Persuasuion who are not in the ZNL Party.

The Penguin

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Ho youz ya cunts! Square go ya fuckin bams. But wait till a cash my giro.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Seriously, the life expectancy thing is right. Basically we really don't give a shit bout trivial matters like health.

The Last Of The Few said...


Pure dead brilliant weeg patter there so it is.

Tell the english te get te fuck the dobbers.

Mind Bannockburn ya bams ye

Hugs te Mary Doll

Anonymous said...

Hadrian had the right idea.

Nancy's stout said...

Nice image of how an in hiding Gordon will appear a year or so after the more stupid inhabitants of this Island finally realise what a cock up he has made of the nation, and drive him from office.

I rather like the idea of a sort of Waiting For Godot situation where aforementioned is accompanied by thin man in ragged suit on a deserted heath etc etc.

Bunty Binstock said...

Excellent post Mr Holborn. Unfortunately Mr Haskett Belle-Sauvage (pictured)was born and bred in Hampshire.

Old Holborn said...

Some good news from Wales

Stewart Cowan said...

As a Glaswegian myself, can I just say that it is not pleasant when your close relatives start dying sooner than you would have them.

Believe it or not, we are not all glue-sniffing, deep-fried Mars bar-munching, VD-infected freaks like the media portray us as.

Some of the world's greatest people have come from the West of Scotland - admittedly before NL got a hold on the edumakayshun system.

I would also like to apologise for Gorbals Mick and the other Glaswegians in Och Aye the Noo Labour and I am trying to make amends...

Stewart Cowan's
brilliant website
and blog

Anonymous said...

Don't you just love the Scots?

RighteousFew said...

No Stewart, some of you are Bible-thumping, young-Earth, pro-life religious nutcases. Throbber.

Shirking From Home said...

Thanks Bunty. I thought he was the guy selling the Evening Standard near where I live.

Stewart Cowan said...

Who do you like then, RighteousFew, other than yourself?

Fancy not wanting to slaughter unborn children, eh? What a radical I am.

Stewart Cowan said...

Oh, RighteousFew, I'm not sure why you called me a

Hibbo said...

Mr Cowan, are you really a bible-thumping anti-science "the world is only 6000 years old" anti-stem cell research cretin?

Fancy that, a religious bigot from Scotchland - especially Glesga! Who'd have thought it?

Or just a weegie smackhead?

Stewart Cowan said...

Hello, Hibbo. And compliments of the season to you, sir.

No, I am PRO-science, as opposed to make-things-up-as-you-go-along-to-keep-to-the-political-status-quo-and-get-lots-of-funding-'science'.

I hope you learn the difference some day and take back the nasty remarks.

As for stem-cell research, not a single benefit has been gained from the cells of aborted human beings, yet adult stem cell research has produced all sorts of results.

I'm sure you won't let the facts interfere, though.

max the impaler said...

Dam considerate of them to forgo picking up the pension.

Stewart Cowan said...

P.S. According to Wikipedia:

"Initially, throbbers tended to be quite large, but they reduced in size along with the size of toolbar buttons"

Age doesn't come alone.

Anonymous said...

If Scotchland is so fucking great why are they here fucking things up rather than enjoying the delights of their own homeland?

Penguin, we don't want to be down here but somebody has to show you how to run your fucking country.

Tuscan Tony said...

A a oic of the gent sans wig. He looks better on TV.

Hibbo said...

Mr Cowan, consider the nasty remarks retracted.

However your statement that not a single benefit has come from embryonic stem cells is an out and out lie - typical from a religious nut. Incidentally, the stem cells are taken from a specially created blastocyst; a ball of 32 cells, so small it can't be seen by the naked eye. But has the Flying Spaghetti Monster (or whatever deity you believe in) already put a soul in to this blastocyst? Where is it exactly.

If you really do think that the world is only 6000 years old, then I really pity you. Incidentally, you've remained quiet on that question - maybe because this is Britain and not the bible-belt and you will get the mocking you well and tuly deserve.

Flat earth anyone? Come on, the bible says so...

Hibbo said...

You forgot to add that "there's not one shred of evidence for evolution, they've never found a single transitional fossil"

You are the worst kind of idiot - a deliberately ignorant idiot, fuelled by the fairy-stories your parents brainwashed you with.

It's nearly 2009, time for you to move on out of the dark ages.

The Penguin said...

OH, it's not all good news from Wales. There were 3 empty seats.

The Penguin

RighteousFew said...

In answer to your question, Stewart, I like people who arrive at their conclusions using logic and reason and not because they were told to think that by peddlers of fairy stories whose origins are in the Bronze Age.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Buckfast anyone? chin chin

The Last Of The Few said...

Personally Robert ole boy I like an Irn Bru 32 with a dash of Russian triple distilled spirit. About a pint and a half should do just nice

jock defender said...


Scotland is a fucking magic place it's problems are the same as the rest of the UK only worse. To
many leftist cunts! As for Mr Cowans stem cell stuff - agree he's talking pish (coloq.urine)

Anonymous said...

Another bit of good news...the death rate is higher than the birth rate in Scotland: the buggers are dying out!

K.McEgan said...

Ali Dizaei is really Ally Dalziel.He is from Dumbarton.

Damo Mackerel said...


'However your statement that not a single benefit has come from embryonic stem cells is an out and out lie'

Mr Cowan is correct, there has being no cures or treatments from Embryonic stem Cells however there has been many treatments and benefits arising from Adult stem cells.


Angry of SE1 said...

Stewart Cowan,

Relatives of mine (called Cowan - suprise! suprise) used to print all the Bank notes in Scotland.

If they were alive today, of course, they should be in 7th Heaven with McMental crashing the economy and the need to print more money imminent - but I suspect, instead they would be deeply ashamed by the behaviour of snotty and his tartan chums.
Needless to say they didn't vote socialist (Two were MPs for Edinburgh) or hate the English so they would be totally out of place in Scotland today.

All the traditional Scottish values are missing from the prime mentalists character and Scotland is poorly served by the quality of the Labour Team ( Gorbals Mick, Nick Brown, Mctwat but still scotland (and to a lesser extent Wales) impose this buch of clowns on us by their disprortionate vote.

If modern Scots had any pride they would disown Labour and Snotty like the English do!

Forget all the Embryo and evolution shit - this is history - a much more exiting (and controversial subject)

Anonymous said...

Before those south of the border get too enthusiastic about poor life expectancy in Scotland take note!

13th Dec 2008
"Three servicemen from Arbroath-based 45 Commando were among four Royal Marines killed in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence said late Friday.
It marks the fourth member of the Angus regiment to be killed in Afghanistan in less than a month."

Scotland is a mixture of good and bad like every other country on the planet.

mad manc cunt said...

Been to Scotland once for a wedding in Dundee. Met this girl at a nightclub. God bless her and all her little bastard Super Tennant's drinking kids. Took her back to the hotel I was staying at and she blew me inside out before riding me like Lester Piggot winning the national. I would have married her but couldn't understand a fuckin' word she was screaming!

Damo Mackerel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Damo Mackerel said...

mad manc maybe it was because she was saying Baa...baaa. Lols.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Dundee, europes' teen preggy capital. Apparently, they are filming the new fairy liquid ad there. The script goes like this. Little girl- 'Mum, why are your hands so soft?' Mother- 'Cos am only fucking fourteen'.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Damo, the sheep shaggers live in Aberdeen!

Damo Mackerel said...

Rab C. Nesbitt. Why wasn't Jesus born in Dundee? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Fucking scotch cunts.

Their brats (11 -year-olds) getting rat-arsed on Buckfast, ending up in cells or hospital beds oot o' their tiny minds, and we're picking up the bill.

Dopy scotch plod is now taking the social workers role to try to understand why they, the kids, drink to excess.




Rab C. Nesbitt said...

The word you're looking for is 'ned'. And scotch is a drink.

john said...

I don't remember getting a request to use my picture.

I'll let you off though coz you got my good side...

Fat Squaddie said...


I feel that I must correct you on one point. You mentioned killing unborn human beings earlier. I'm afraid that you aren't a human being until you're in my phone book.



mmm said...

I was born in the same year as Gorbals Mick.
My hair is not grey.
My complexion is not florid.
I am of normal weight.
I speak good English.

Thanks Mick! You make me look so GOOD.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

OH That coroner in Wales needs 'more training'.
Key words in that report> disqualified, cocained, car stolen from a hospital, drunk, hit a pedestrian .
The cunts death was not sad, more like well deserved.

Railway Plods report into the ransacking of Damian Greens Parliamentary office is now out, can minger Martin survive it ?

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Thanks, Rab. Scotch is, indeed, a drink; it's also a pejorative term for ned people from Scotchland.

Nice photo, OH.

Is it of a Buckfast-raddled 14-year old ned, from scotchland?

Anonymous said...

I guess the Scots who went down south are all the gay ones - guess its the only place they would feel at home!

Antipholus Papps said...

Tenants Super: breakfast of Grampians! Goes down well with a Glasgow salad.

@Fat Squaddie - give Bill Hicks the credit when you quote him.

Hugo said...

Is that 63 Scotch-years or 63 person-years?

Rogerborg said...

The silver lining is that Glasgow doesn't have a problem with a high ratio of codgers to productive workers.

There is a fuck-awful ratio of spongers to productive workers, of course.

Hibbo said...

Rogerborg! That's not the kind of language I'd expect from you...

Stewart Cowan said...

Hello, Angry of SE1.

I lived in SE6 for 3 years (Catford).

Anyay, yes, us Cowans tend to miss the boat when it comes to being in the right place at the right time.

I am actually ashamed of Brown and chums' disgusting 'leadership' but as you can see, most people want to attack me because I have discovered that the Theory of Evolution is a lie and that I am against abortion.

I thought they had more-or-less sorted out the problem with disproportionate votes, because Scotland elects at least a dozen MPs fewer now.

Brown and Labour, generally, love abortion.

Is this not a good enough reason to hate it (as well as the killing of innocents).

lilith said...

Stewart Cowan, nobody "loves" abortion you twat. It exists to prevent women killing themselves with botched illegal attempts. There are worse things than away a baby to a complete stranger for example.

Hibbo said...

Cowan your ignorance staggers me.

You have 'discovered' that the theory of evolution is a 'lie'. And how exactly did you discover this? From a story book written by desert herders hundreds of years ago. So is radiometric dating also a lie? I assume you think there really was a big flood too...

I really didn't think your sort existed this side of the Atlantic.


Stewart Cowan said...

98% of abortions are for 'social reasons' Lilith. That's about 200,000 last year.

I was talking about the Brown Gorgon et al loving abortion, not the women their 'charities' promote their death cult to.

You are entitled to your opinion, but it is poor form to call someone a "twat" just because he disagrees with you, or in this case, because you misread or misunderstood my comment.

Stewart Cowan said...

"Idiot" - Hibbo

Charming. How can I be an idiot when I have spent my time studying science and come to a different conclusion to you?

OK, Hibbo, enlighten us. How much study have you done on genetics, geology, palaeontology, climatology and all the other disciplines I have?

Tell us, if you would, how you have come to your conclusion that the earth is Xmillion years old.

Hint: Because it is the majority view, or you do not believe the Genesis account, is not an answer.

I want science, laddie, or what you presume to be science/fact/evidence.

Come on, let's see if I'm an idiot.

Hibbo said...

I have not done a great deal of study in those fields, however many many people have, far more intelligent than you or I, and all came to the same conclusion. Evolution is the cornerstone of all modern biology, you will not find many scientist who doubt it, only bible-bashers.

You are lying if you say you have done thorough scientific research and arrived independently at the conclusion that a magical being created the universe in six days.

"In the beginning god created the heavens and the earth" is NOT science. That is why you are an idiot. Stop trying to dress up you ridiculous superstitions as science. You are embarrassing yourself. In fact, how can you expect people to take your views on ANYTHING seriously when you think that a bloke got two of every single species on a big boat and kept them for 40 days. Some of those dinosaurs are pretty big too, or have you discovered that dinosaurs are a lie too? You are so stupid you actually think that all 6 billion of us, all colours and creeds, are descended from Adam & Eve. I'm sure you're familiar with inbreeding.

Do you also believe that contraception is 'murder'?

Stewart Cowan said...

Nice to see that tolerance is alive and well where you are, Hibbo. There are thousands of scientists who are Creationists.

So, you've done zilch study, but you tell me, someone who has done lots, that you are right and I am wrong.

And you say I am embarrassing myself.

I'll make it easier for you - give me one example of how evolution is a fact.

That should be easy enough for you surely?

Seriously - one - just one - proof that we are descended from apes, never mind pond scum.

You say I'm an idiot, so prove it with facts.

You have provided nothing other than insults. Is that all you can do?

I'll give you one last chance to debate me on the SCIENCE.

I reiterate: produce one piece of evidence that makes the Theory of Evolution a fact please.

Anonymous said...

If the life expectancy of a Buckfast swigging Weegie is 62, what proportion of their lives is spent in the dole queue?

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