Thursday, 11 December 2008

Petrol Stations to be made INVISIBLE


Evil bastards, killling the planet


Following the ban on cigarettes being shown in public, despite the huge tax yield, the Gummint have decided that due to 4x4 drivers filling up with carbon killing petrol, Petrol stations should also be hidden. To protect children. And stuff.

CUNTS. FUCK OFF

31 comments:

halve the 646 said...

nice one OH, pretty daft really.

Dull-as-fuck Factoid Alert:

There were more petrol stations in Britain in the 1920s than today, a lot more in fact. Something like 6000 more, despite the large difference in car numbers. So transport David LLoyd George, or Biggles, or some other cunt of the era, and they'd think that policy was already in operation. Guess that's cos cars can go more than 50 miles without running out/breaking down etc.

Tractor Stats said...

All out of town shopping centres to be buried underground after man chokes to death on pork pie.

idle said...

I have taken to hiding my alcohol in a larder. It is to save visitors from seeing it and developing a raging thirst.

It could do their livers harm. And stuff.

swindon_alan said...

I think that all 646 of the completely corrupt cunts in Westminster are great at hiding things from the man in the street.

Why should petrol stations be any different?

Rogerborg said...

All knife sales to be banned. If you need anything sliced, you phone a Central Services hotline and three days later some unwashed mong in a HiVis comes round with a rusty butter knife but can't actually cut anything because he's run out of 27B/6 forms.

Billy Wallace said...

I'm getting a warning notice in the post with some stickers?

I'd pulled over to find my way to my next job, got a tap on the window by a little shit in a suit, "wind the window down he said", by the way he had a bouncer with him, "did you know you can't smoke in your van, your breaking the law" he said.
I told him I didn't have a clue what he was talking about, it's my van, it belongs to me, I don't let any body in it, it's got all my worldly goods in it, its my work shop, it's my tool box, its my safe, I'm self-employed, and work on my own, and if any body were to try and get in it, I'd drop-em like a brick, would you like to try? whoops he didn't like that.
cut the story short,
I really feel pissed off, this is the first time I've been face to face with this shit and it makes me feel like my space as been invaded, I could be doing life, but I held my cool.

Daisy said...

most eloquently said...reminds me i need to get gas in the morning...shit!

Dick Puddlecote said...

Oh Joy! Do I like THAT.

Perhaps the Guv may be worried that, at some point in the future, kids might be tempted to just run up to a pump and drink the stuff.

Not like it hasn't happened before, is it?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article102357.ece

That should be enough for Labour.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Would that be before or after Sheep and Cows Are Banned for flatulence ?
Beneath the counter sales never did pornography any harm; it was amazing what could be asked for in sleazy, corrupt Londons' Soho in the 1970s' till that rotter Sir Robert Mark spoiled everything.

Leg-iron said...

Woman dies from drinking water.

http://itn.co.uk/news/b0c31966029ec464dcd372932dd09d8b.html

Attempted link

Only a matter of time now. Ah well. I never touch the stuff anyway.

Anonymous said...

Based loosely on Obamas "yes we can" slogan used during the presidential election, Nu Labours slogan for the next GE could be "No you cant!!. This would be appropriate given their propensity to ban things and generally nanny tax payers.

Shades said...

Have you got a link for the story?

Anonymous said...

I have an antiques shop, put some old flintlocks in the window (circa1790) visit from the old bill yesterday to check they are covered by the Crime and Disorder bill and to have them removed from the front window.....bless

Anonymous said...

Why are the "Brits" so blood apathetic about starting a revolution

I am off to join my comrades in Greece at the barricades.

VIVE LA REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaygee said...

We dont have revolutions, we have satire.

Neal Asher said...

How long before the vegan lobby demand the banning of meat displays in butchers? Blacked out windows in burger chains next? And come on, all those optics behind the bar in a pub, all those beer taps. Shocking. I think I see the future: shops full of government approved goods and thousands of black marketeer white vans clogging up the highways.

Letters From A Tory said...

You're going to need a seriously big counter if you want to hide a petrol station behind it.

Anonymous said...

If items that harm society need to be hidded what about fucking off all those wanker MPs. We need them like a dose of the clap.

Anonymous said...

Leg iron said "Woman dies from drinking water."

Dangerous stuff - fish fuck in water - should be banned by statute

The Penguin said...

Looks like some direct action in South London.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1094055/Convicted-paedophile-stabbed-death-stripped-mutilated-suspected-vigilante-attack.html

The Penguin

Gareth said...

If we had a Star Chamber on our hands, would we ever know?

charcoal said...

I have an antiques shop, put some old flintlocks in the window (circa1790) visit from the old bill yesterday to check they are covered by the Crime and Disorder bill and to have them removed from the front window.....bless

Anything interesting and priced for a quick sale?

Goodnight Vienna said...

Kaygee has it but I'd like to add stoicism to satire. Only 'the left', disaffected factionalist socialist workers and anarchists know how to organise a riot. Those on the Libertarian side of the fence complain individually rather than collectively - and that's our problem. One voice at a time isn't enough.

Btw - can anyone tell me what's the difference between the efficacy of an airgun and a shotgun and also the police want a reason for the application so what do others say? Are there any Huntin' & Shootin' Clubs in North London?

defender said...

"Btw - can anyone tell me what's the difference between the efficacy of an airgun and a shotgun"
Airgun goes Pfffffffpth and the target goes, you wanker

" the police want a reason for the application so what do others say?

Let them know its to protect the climate.

The petrol station near me has disguised itself as a KFC. Works well, nobody would guess.

kondescending kunt said...

on a local radio station near you
"Do you really want that last DRINK ?
Just one more DRINK and Everything could CHANGE.
You might end up having the best night of your life
OR
It might All Kick OFF
And You get Banged UP !

Alcohol, know your limits"

Brought to you by 'it's either banned or compulsory ' as a cheery seasonal reminder from HMG.

Yokel said...

Leg-iron said ... Woman dies from drinking water. ... ... Only a matter of time now. Ah well. I never touch the stuff anyway.

Perhaps you should look at both of these sites campaigning for the banning of DiHydrogen Monoxide!

Rogerborg said...

>also the police want a reason for the [shotgun] application

Technically for a shotgun license it's up to plod to find a reason to deny it, but "Applicant got a bit uppity and pissed me off by banging on about his 'rights'" is in practice sufficient.

Black powder muskets used by historic reeanactors require a shotgun license, so if you can stomach the beards and real ale, join the Sealed Knot or similar, get your membership card and pick up some of the lingo. Job's a good 'un.

Anonymous said...

The BBC now asks "Was manchester right to say NO to the congestion charge?"

Err, BBC. We still live in a democracy, there is no RIGHT and WRONG, we are all entitled to our opinions.

Fuck this fucking "One state party" "one solution" "Commom purpose" fucking news organization

Anonymous said...

Err, BBC. We still live in a democracy, there is no RIGHT and WRONG, we are all entitled to our opinions.

That's very good, yet so easy to forget, thanks for that.

jwcuibono said...

"Anonymous Kaygee said...

We don't have revolutions, we have satire.

12 December 2008 09:01"

So good it's worth saying twice...or so

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